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Rebecca Romaine |  |
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Collections From Over the YearsWhat amazed me was that the fans didn't get in the way. It's just fans being smart enough to know how the game is played and what to do. That out meant more to them than a foul ball. Fortunately there weren't any Cub fans there. -Matheny said of his play on Sosa's popup If all the words of this book are misspelled, but accidentally spell other words correctly, and also accidentally fall into a grammatically coherent arrangement, where coherency is defined as whatever doesn't upset people, it means this book is legally another book, and not this book.
Rain is used as white noise when god is disgusted by too much prayer
Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence. The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do.
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.
One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere
I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy.
get over here and warm my hands up, boy, it's you they love to hold
Blind children can't see the people near them so they don't reach out
Notice: Any suggestions will result in a $.50 addition to your bill. Any criticism a $1.
and you do it so carelessly, as if you have no self-esteem. a victim of apathy
It has to be remembered that the median duration of marriage today is almost exactly the same as it was 100 years ago. Divorce, in short, now acts as a functional subsitute for death: both means of terminating marriage at a premature stage.
Don't you have an elsewhere to be
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
I'm bigger then my body gives me credit for.
How is it that I will get up and trudge myself though the mud to any sort of miserable work, but that I must always let heaven come to me? How did I get it ground into me that happiness is always picked up on the way and must not be sought?
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, til it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
Anytime I was challenged and told I couldn't do something I would absolutely have to prove the opposite. And I did.
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
When nothing is sure, everything is possible
Challenges make you discover things about yourself you never really knew. They're what makes the instrument stretch--what make you go beyond the norm.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.
You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.
Everyone has talent, and God gave me the athletic ability and competitiveness to go out there and push myself. It would be a disservice to myself if I couldn't be the best athlete and best person I could be.
We ask ourselves 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
You have to discover you, what you do, and trust it.
The reward for conformity is everyone likes you but yourself.
I resent being told what to do in any way, shape, or form.
No one can arrive from being talented alone. God gives talent; work transforms talent into genius.
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims.
We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love.
It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.
At the end of your life, what you're going to want to know is that you made some kind of difference.
I think the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved.
Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our minds to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.
I have found the most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card.
Action is the antidote to despair
Each of us finds our own path to survival. No path is ever walked the same way twice, but we need not walk alone.
Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquantices. Those too big to pass through are our friends.
My grandfather told me there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group. There was much less competition.
I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fasions"
It is not power that corrupts, but fear of losing it.
I wanted the perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'
You grow up at the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.
Awful things can happen at any moment, so while they are not happening you may as well be pleased.
There are only two ways of spreading light--to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.
What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
What's gone and what's past help
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
I have no notion of loving people by halves it is not my nature.
I make it a rule never to mind what men say. They are very often amazingly impertinent if you do not treat them with spirit, and make them keep their distance.
An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure.
I heard you got so confused you wrote your dog out of your will and had an ungrateful nephew put to sleep.
There's so much static electricity in this place that I pick up everything except boys and money.
Laughter thru tears is my favorite emotion.
If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
Don't fall before you're pushed.
Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
I like life. It's something to do.
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
My home is not a place, it is people.
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
People find life entirely too time-consuming.
Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting.
You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history
I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow Kissage.
Does it hurt your back to kiss your own ass like that
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters
We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better
CLARINET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarinet -- two clarinets.
Sarchasm = The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Hipatitis = Terminal Coolness.
Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons
I like using big words. I just don't always know how to spell them.
Shake Shake the ketchup bottle none will come and then alot'll
If a man washes a dish and there's no woman to see it did it happen?
BS is bullshit, MS is more of the same and a PhD is piled high and deep.
Harry: If you could take him back right now would you?
I think I'm coming down with that 24 hour tumor that's been going around
The best thing you've got going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself
Carole: Why can't I have just a normal boyfriend. One who doesn't go nutso on me
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."
Family can be more than the people you're biologically connected to--it can include everyone you've chosen to love
A closed mouth gathers no feet
You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime.
Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want.
I wish people could acheive what they think would bring them happiness in order for them to realize that that's not what happiness really is.
What luck for rulers that men do not think.
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you 50,000 dollars for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul.
I used to live in a room full of mirrors; all I could see was me. I take my spirit and I crash my mirrors, now the whole world is here for me to see. It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Senator's son, son. It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one.
Men like war: they do not hold much sway over birth, so they make up for it with death. Unlike women, men menstruate by shedding other people's blood.
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
There is nothing that war has ever achieved that we could not better achieve without it.
Some guys just can't hold their arsenic
I like your costume too. Though when I dress up as a frigid bitch I try not to look so constipated
Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law
These funnel cakes are kicking my ass
Hairy legs are your only link to reality
I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it
Its a moo point. You know like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.
people are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway
Dance like it hurts. Love like you need the money. Work when people are watching
straight girl? gay girl? an orgasm's an orgasm
Does it bother you that I'm bleeding right now
I will be there to soften your fall and I will be there thru the think of it all. I will not let you feel you wasted all your time. When every day we had is one more day when you were mine
Tact is just not saying true stuff
Me up at does
out of the floor
a poisoned mouse
still who alive
is asking What
you wouldn't have
I swear I'll never let in my direction
Inside me there's a thin woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies
What's at the end of a million? zero zero zero. Nothing. A circle with a hole in it
Hey... I’ve been turned into a cow... can I go home?
If [Everyone] insists on Christmas Gift Tax to ruin everything why not make it that everyone must go out and spend $500 on themselves then distribute the items among their relatives and friends to wrap up and give to them instead of this psychic-failure torment?
...and talk nicely to perverts with the word ‘uncle?before their name while they stare freely at your breasts.
The worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT...
I’m only paranoid because there trying to kill me
Bad llama
My Shoulder Angel
Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?
It’s true I do imbue my blue unto myself I make it bitter
I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way
If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen
But its not the same when everything has changed
Bounty in a box. It’s Bounty. In a Box.
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
When opportunity knocks open the door, even if your in your bathrobe.
What looks like crazy on an ordinary day looks like love in the moon light
If you lived here you’d be home now.
That’s another one for exotic bird bingo
Failure is an excellent teacher
All paths lead to God
I think I might fly today just to disprove all the things that you say
Beware of the groove
I love knowing that such a tiny person can take up so much space in the world
Lie to me, I promise I’ll believe. Lie to me, but please don’t leave.
The peasant...In the diner...He didn’t pay his check.
Nothings true and nothings right, so let me be alone tonight. Cuz you can’t change the way I am. Are you strong enough to be my man?
I want your warm but it will only make me colder when its over.
I was having a sweet fix of a day dream of a boy whose reality I knew was a hopeless to be had
I may be dead but I’m still pretty
I’m seventeen looking at linoleum makes me think about sex.
You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun
Never do business with a man that cheats on his wife
Always check for paper before sitting down
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn
You say love is a hell you cannot bear. So I say give me mine back and then go there for all I care
Jesus didn’t speak English
Cuz the chains which once held us are only the chains which we made
Like flipping a coin, don’t matter what side it lands on its someone else’s dime
What we call human nature in actuality is human habit
unbeingdead isn’t beingalive
We don’t learn from the good things in life. We learn from the hardships
I’ve been thinking that it might do some good if we robbed the cynics and took all there food. That way what they believed would have taken place and we could give it to everyone who’d have some faith
Only the gentle are ever really strong
Never say ‘taste this see if it’s bad?
In darkness the stone becomes the buffalo, but in sunlight all is as is.
Speak softly and carry a big stick
Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend.
A life without love is no life at all
Hitler loved little blue eyed boys and it drove him to hate
If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.
Never is a Promise
You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you knew how seldom they do
When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring there's no body to batter when your mind is your might and when you go solo you hold your own hand and know that depths is the greatest of heights and if you know where to stand then you'll know where to land and if you fall it won't matter cuz you'll know that your right.
There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own labor
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection -- that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement
Change is the handmaiden nature requires to do her miracles with
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake
Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can’t accept your imperfections that’s their fault
Behind almost any woman you’ve ever heard of, lies a man who let her down.
Whenever I hear ‘It can’t be done?I know I’m close to success
Complain to one who can help you
As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death
Wisdom doesn’t always come with old age. Nothing does -- except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place.
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would ever come into my neighborhood after dark.
When you hire people smarter than you, you prove you are smarter than they are.
A man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men
Never be haughty to the humble; Never be humble to the haughty
Before we set our hearts to anything let us examine how happy those people are who already possess it
I dwell in possibilities
Most men do not mature they simply grow taller
There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking
Who would ever think that so much would go on in the soul of a young girl
My father was often angry when I was most like him
I think, therefore, I’m single
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... it takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction
Cynicism is knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing
The important thing is not to stop questioning
The big thieves hang the little ones
Even if your on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of anyone I ever met
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees its old enough to know better
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time for that’s the stuff life’s made of
Rest satisfied with doing well and let others talk of you as they please
To me old age is always 15 years older than I am
Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people
Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him
Hold a true friend with both hands
When women go wrong men go right after them
To know the road ahead ask those coming back
Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted to bear
Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole hearts, don’t know how to laugh either
Never tell evil of a man if you do not know it for certainty; and if you know it for certainty then ask yourself why should I tell?
Even on the highest throne in the world we are still sitting on our ass
The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed
If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it. Don’t Complain!
The person you consider ignorant and insignificant is the one who came from God, that he might learn bliss from grief and knowledge from gloom
Health is not valued until sickness comes
Louis, Have you ever just tried clearing your throat?
Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people
There are no rules here! We are trying to accomplish something
Those who wish to appear wise among the foolish, appear foolish among the wise
Wait until it is night before saying that it has been a fine day
Life does not cease to be funny when people die, anymore then it ceases to be serious when people laugh
Everything you can imagine is real
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing
Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream
Better to light a candle then curse the darkness
Ratio of Americans who die from tobacco-related illnesses each year to the number who are murdered: 17:1
Enjoy every minute, there is plenty of time to be dead
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong
Heroism consists of hanging on one minute longer
The price of Greatness is Responsibility
You can’t underestimate the power of fear
Women should be judged by how much thought they put into there emotions; Men by how much emotions they put into their thought
Some people start out on third base and spend their whole lives thinking they hit a triple
I could have missed the pain but I would have had to miss the Dance
You don’t have to sit outside in the dark; if however, you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness is necessary. But the stars neither require nor demand it.
Rationalize the heart out of your life
You cannot rationalize you can only live the moment
You never really understand a person until you risk friendship with that person
More good things in life are lost by indifference than ever were lost by active hostility
Apathy is the glove in which evil slips its hand
It is a perplexing and unpleasant truth that when men have something worth fighting for, they do not feel like fighting.
There is nothing harder than the softness of indifference
The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life but that it bothers him less and less
Crime expands according to our willingness to put up with it
A guy falls into a hole. There’s no way out. Then a doctor walks by. The guy yells "hey I’m trapped down here can you help me out." The doctor writes a prescription throws it down then walks away. Then a priest walks by. The guy shouts out again, "Father, I’m trapped down here can you help me." The priest writes him a prayer tosses it down then walks away. Then a friend walks by. The guy yells, "It’s me can you help me outta here." Then the friend jumps into the hole with him. The guys says "what did you do that for now we’re both stuck in here." "Yes" the friend said, "but I’ve been here before and I know the way out"
Most people pass over [into insanity] incrementally, making a series of perforations in the membrane between here and there until an opening exists
Everything in the world is just the shadow of some real thing we cannot see
Whatever had driven her whispered ‘Die!?
I looked down at the ripples of woven rags in our carpet, feeling more and more like a girl, and it was excruciating
Winds love a polished mirror above all, it is there that they lurk for the weak of heart, who come gazing in search of answers.
Because that’s the kind of Queen I am, the kind I choose to be.
I’d rather weep my heart out every night then go on freezing inside
Apology: laying the ground work for a future mistake
Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all
Every now and then I feel like I've gotta bite someone
Prince Charming’s a dick, bring on the frogs
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
The harder you fall,
the higher you bounce.
Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Friends are those rare people
who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
The future depends on what we do in the present.
Our real blessings often appear to us
in the shapes of pains, losses and disappointments;
but let us have patience,
and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.
Fear less, hope more;
The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
You can complain because roses have thorns,
or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
if we wait for the moment when everything,
absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
The trouble with being in the rat race is that
even if you win, you’re still a rat.
You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don’t try.
You will never find time for anything.
If you want the time, you must make it.
There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
The measure of a man’s real character
is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.
The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy
to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.
Sticks and stones are hard on bones
The only place you’ll find success before work is in the dictionary.
We don’t see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
One who makes no mistakes never makes anything.
Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.
Sticks and stones can indeed break bones, but words can often do worse. They can stifle destroy and mutilate all of the beautiful, hopeful things inside of us.
His love knew absolutely no shame
libee migbar, or developing a heart
Our rules demanded that we would never add hurt to the hurting
for even the most horrifying memories are you; they are yours and no one else’s. And they, along with the good memories, are your life.
We refer to them [the elderly] in the plural, never the singular, for they have the wisdom and deserve the respect of many.
It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.
Okay, on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?
Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'
And then I was being chased by an improperly filled-in answer bubble screaming, 'none of the above!?
Fate is like checkpoints along the path that you're pre determined to take. The end is the same, but the journey is optional.
We are worth more then the worst thing we’ve ever done
Sweetie, those books have no place in a public school library. Especially now. Any student can waltz in there and get all sorts of ideas. Do you understand how that terrifies me?
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
There is no fun in having nothing to do. The fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
The past is to be dropped not because it is bad but because it is dead.
“Why is everyone here so happy except me??“B/c they have learned to see goodness and beauty everywhere,?said the master. "Why don't I see goodness and beauty everywhere?" "B/c you cannot see outside of you what you fail to see inside.?
Life is like a motor car. A motor car can be used to travel to the heights. But most people lie in front of it, allow it to run over them, then blame it for the accident.
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
I never said most of the things I said.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
The future ain't what it used to be.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. A person who doubts himself makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Years and sins are always more than owned.
Luck is not chance, it's toil; fortune's expensive smile is earned.
If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking.
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
True friends stab you in the front.
Men say of women what pleases them; women do with men what pleases them.
Whatever women do, they much do twice as well as men to be half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
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