Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Ok, so I just finished taking (and failing, I might add) my Chem final... A song pops into my head...

(to the tune of "O Christmas Tree")

I hate my life,
I hate my life,
Fling me from a high window.

I can't afford
This stupid school
Cuz now my scholarship's gone.

I'll wind up living on the streets
People will call me a deadbeat

Because I failed
My Chem final...
So kill me with a Semi.

Here is a list of ways to identify yourself as a college student... as written by my friend Charis!

You know you're a broke college student when...
12/14/2003

1) Your gingerbread houses are made out of graham crackers

2) You start picking up those "lucky pennies" you see on the ground

3) Your idea of fun is hanging out in front of the dorm, at midnight in 30 degree weather

4) You have to borrow money for a $.10 cd at Mckays

5) You see a sign advertising free food and you don't stop to wonder whether the advertiser is a friend/possible ax murderer/total stranger

6) You buy textbooks with calculator and checkbook in hand... eliminating everything not absolutely necessary, and at the end of the proceedings you have $1.70 left, and you are pleased.

7) You eat generic animal crackers :it's not "Oh look a lion", it's "Oh look! It's a....um....giraffe...with...two extra legs....and a horn...."

8) When out with family/nonbroke friends you don't even offer to buy your own meal anymore

9) You wonder whether you could sue the school for tuition if you climb out a 4th floor dorm window and break a few bones

10) You own one dish- a coffee cup! (which doubles as icecream/soup bowl/silverware container/paperweight...)

I got this email a while ago from one of my friends... just thought I'd share it, being a girl and all... and finding it REALLY FRIKKIN FUNNY!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other (or anyone whose name is Hunter D. Stone).

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

***

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

***

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

***

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

***

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

***

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

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