May 30, 2005

...from steve...

to my friend,

i can't believe you're leaving for the Navy in a couple days.. i don't think i can say everything to you face to face so i wanted to write this down. wow, this is gonna be harder than i thought...but here goes. I don't know where to start.. we've known each other for quite some time, but i guess we didn’t really get to know each other until college. i cant believe you used to stay up with me when i had finals to tutor me. i really struggled with college, and i dont think i would have made it through without you, mike, lou and pheng there with me. You've always been there for me..whether it was encouraging me or kicking me in the butt when I needed it. And when I look back, all i realize is how bad of a friend i've been. You struggled so much your whole life, i dont think i was there for you at all. im sorry. i wish i could have been there for you more..like you were there for me. i hope our friendship lasts throughout the years, so i can be a better friend. You know..there isn’t that many people in this world who understand me, or know what I'm all about like you do. I wish things would have worked out here, but i know you need to do what you need to do for yourself now. go do it for youself. go do it for your future. be strong. im proud of you.

take care of yourself Boryung ...Esther ... and i'll see you around

...my response...

to my friends~

I am one very luckey and fortunate person; I have soo many great friends who've helped me in soo many ways. Past and present, I owe much gratitude to all of my friends for helping me through my struggles in family, relationships, friendships, work, school, college, and personal drama.

I've been referred to as being a very strong and directed person. I could not be such a strong person with good dirction by myself. I've had many of your to guide me and remind me to come to where I am now.

I was foolish to think that I stood alone- not as a conqueror, but as a lonely forgotten little girl, always feeling abandoned and neglected; I viewed myself as expendable.

Many of your guys, I've known since grade school and seen me mature from that overachieving dork to the typical college student. Most of you are the sturdy foundation of lifelong friends who've endured long arduous nights of studying, prepping for quizzes and presentations. We've shared many nights just reflecting on our present lives, questioned our semi-satisfied declared majors, goofed off, shared laughs, and many drinks.

Speaking of which... I greatly, greatly APOLOGIZE to those who've had to take care of me as the weak, drama-queen drunk. Drunk Esther ranges from self tormenting sorry ass to the intelligent wannabe. Everyone has their nights and bad days, I know. Thank you for taking care of me and keeping me safe.

A lot of you saw the many different characteristics that I possess. At first, I come off as being a fun, bubbly, air-headed, asian-blong without much depth.

I allow very few people to get past my persona, especially at the early stages of the friendship. Slowly, you guys realize that I'm just as serious, just as normal, and just as weird as you are- admit it! all of you guys are weird!!! Just kidding!!!

I really appreciate those words yo've said to me about me over the years- caring, generous, compassionate, resourceful, reliable.

I have no goodbyes for anyone, because I'll still be around, just further away. I love the 21st century because of the telecommunication advances- we still have our postal service, telephone, email, AIM, and cell phones. Bootcamp is only 2 months, and I"ll be writing to as many of you guys as I can! After bootcamp, my aim's gonna be on 24/7!!! I'll be back in December to visit you guys during my leave.

I will miss you guys and I will be remenicising about those nights you've kept me strong. Till then, write some damn letters yo's!!! and leave a message or two on my cell and email me!!!

**smiles**
Esther