The History of the Sloths

By Dave Coppola

 

The Creation

        The Sloths came into being in the 1989‑1990 season as the Flyers.  Then and still Czar of the New England Senior Hockey League, Paul Laubenstein, realized that he had enough "undrafted" players in order to form an expansion team (undrafted meant that these individuals went unpicked at one of the league try‑outs for teams NEEDING players).   This new expansion team was assigned a jersey color not currently in use in the league, orange, and since there was only one NHL squad to wear this color, Paul said "let them be the Flyers" and we were‑‑for a season or two. 

         The Flyers were treated as and performed like a typical expansion team.  Our schedule consisted almost entirely of 11PM games (back then 11PM scheduled meant maybe starting by 11:30) and during that stop-time era the late games got the “no blood – no foul” officiating, play would only stop when goals were scored. Even so, the opposing teams still usually had a full complement of players show up to play the Flyers.  Back then, the league would name an offensive and defensive player of the week and after a not too unusual 18‑0 Flyer loss to the Jets, the league named the entire Jet team the offensive player of the week. 

Notable Players of the period

The Octopus ‑ a long‑limbed, ankle‑skating defenseman whose strategy was to try to reach out and latch on to attacking forwards. 

Tom C. ‑ One of the goalies at the time (we carried two) who was instrumental in the formative years of the team.  Since it's not nice to say bad things about people, as a goalie Tom always had top of the line equipment.  One of Tom’s lasting legacies is our pick‑up hour on Monday Nights at the Skating Club, still a source of new talent for the team.

Kevin ?? ‑ Our only true hockey player (must've missed the tryout).  As we each entered the locker room for that first game, nervous, frightened, each of us looking to the other for a leader, in walked Kevin who sat down pulled out a small pouch, removed his front teeth and put them in it.  He was instantly elected captain.  Unfortunately he broke his jaw half‑way through the season and never returned.

Long‑timers who started during the period:

Marc d'Alarcao who brought Sloths into the Enlightenment, David Coppola, Clayton Handleman, Jimbo Kottas

 

The Stone Age

        The Cro-Magnon Sloths ‑ were thick skulled, unskilled players who would gradually start to skate upright.  They were prone to travel in groups around the ice hypnotically following the puck.

        It was during this period that the Flyers became the Sloths.  The team realized that we didn't fly around the ice, the best we could manage was a hurried shuffle.  So we decided to change our name to something more appropriate. The first new name suggested was "The Vampires" due to the fact that all of our games were still very late at night.  Someone pointed out though that this name would give the other teams yet another reason to tell us we sucked. One of the player’s wives suggested the Sloths, the moniker fit and was quickly accepted.  Tom C. produced a crude version of the logo that we still wear today. 

Notable Players of the period

John Louis ‑ Good player but league got too rough for him.

Dave Pal ‑ attached a cage to his helmet, then cut away most of the bars because they blocked his vision.

The Broken Wings ‑ Forwards who showed up late for the game had to center this pair as their punishment.

  

The Medieval Ages

        Sloths began gathering quality players from other bad teams.  Two players were coaxed away from the Rangers, and another four from the Brew Crew.  With these and a few other additions the team reached respectability.  One season the Sloths had league-leading scorer in Dave Wood.  That same season as a team the Sloths scored the most goals in division netting 90 (in 20+ games), unfortunately we also gave up most ‑‑ 120.   

Notable Players of the period

Steve Calloe/Steve Bryant ‑ two big slow Sloth‑like D who blocked the oppositions direct path to the net. 

Dan Tompkins ‑ Knocked a goalies mask off with a slap shot from 10 feet away. 

Brian Abraham ‑ Great puck carrier but needed a road map. He would skate coast to coast through both teams and then circle back out of offensive zone.

Johnny R. ‑ Described has having a ten-cent mind in a million dollar body. May have invented the tomahawk chop. 

Eliot Jones/Dave Wood ‑ Canadian/Harvard duo. 

The Rhinelander brothers, Alex and Nick ‑ talked great hockey.

Kevin Wattles ‑ Lived to intimidate SLJ goalie Joe Blundo

"Crazy Tom" ‑ A decent goalie when he resisted his urges to rush the puck. 

Kevin Yu - MIT Varsity player.

Eric Verny - Still owes Mike McCarthy $$$!

Long‑timers acquired.

Mike McCarthy, John Nicholson, Drum Potter, Mike McCue, Tom Harnan (only Sloth to play all five positions), Greg Judge, Steve Smith and Matt Harris.

 

The Dark Ages

        Half team leaves to form summer team in Hockey Town.  Last minute decision was made to recruit new players and enter a team in NESHL's summer league instead of folding.  New acquisitions include a couple of Czechs and a bunch of guys from Harvard including our 3rd consecutive goalie named Tom.

Notable Players of the period

Dan Lech - Sometime leading scorer, sometime wine connoisseur, sometime lead singer of local band “Buttercup”.  A renaissance Sloth before his time.

Tom ‘zog – May have lasted longer if marijuana had been legalized for medicinal purposes.  Couldn’t get enough before a game to dull the pain of all those shots.

 Long‑timers acquired.

Vlad Stejskal, Dean Petracca (broke puck with post-hitting slapshot), Petr with 1 e.

 

The Renaissance

        Many prodigal Sloths return from Hockey Town USA league.  Sloths kept best of new acquisitions and become a competitive team again. Ancient hockey tradition of the "Heavy Bag" unearthed and caused many Sloth games to go in multiple "overtimes".