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We all are cats.
(a newspaper) by rachel and amanda
issue 4-Feb 3, 2004
||| ask rachel ||| back |||
Rachel answers your questions...

Dear Rachel, I was wondering how cats find mice, when there is so much snow on the ground? ---Sarah

Dear Sarah, They find them inside houses and they dig holes and find them in the holes in the ground. --Rachel

dear rachel, lately i have been unable to eat red meat(im a cat). so every time i kill a rodent or bird, i drag it to my owners front porch and leave it. my owner is getting rather upset with me, but my kitty instinct says kill. if i keep leaving a mess on my owners porch i might get kicked out of my house, what should i do? ----furs mcgee

Dear furs mcgee, Dig holes in the garden and put the rodent or bird inside. It'll be great fertilizer and your owner will be very happy. One question for you furs, how did you write this email without opposible thumbs? --Rachel

Zebra saves kid

Last monday, a lion and cheetah were about to attack a small child who was alone in the jungle, when a zebra stepped in front of the animals to guard the kid. While the other zebras went to get help, one zebra stayed behind. That zebras name was Striped. When the other zebras returned, the lion and cheetah were gone and only Striped and the child were there. Striped won a medal for "best zebra ever."font>

Shoplifting turtle escapes from jail!!

Yesterday, the shoplifting turtle escaped from jail and his five to twelve month sentance. He escaped by scraping the paint off the jails walls and adding water to it to make more paint. He then painted his shell to look like a vest, then his inside of his shell. When the guards came in to check on the inmates, they saw the "vest" and put it outside. The turtle then got back out of his shell and escaped taking nothing but a twinkie. Police tried to stop him but he was too fast. This criminal may be coming to your house!! So guard your little debbies snack cakes and lock your doors. Make sure to ask for ID when you answer the door. If the ID is a turtle, do not let him in and call the police.

Recipe for Cat Snacks Cookies with extra fish bites

Makes ten cookies

-Ingredients:

2 c. Fish insides

1 c. Fish outsides

1 tsp. Cinnamon

2 Tbsp honey

12 Rodent tails (diced)

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. Get a muffin pan and line with paper muffin cups. In a large bowl mix together fish insides with rodent tails. In a small bowl mix honey and cinnamon. Cook the meat for 15 minutes, then take out and cut into fish shapes. Take fish outsides and lay out flat. Place the honey mixture and fish shapes on fish outisides. Wrap them up and freeze for twenty minutes. Take out of freezer and scrape off the ice. Heat in microwave for about one minute. Remove from microwave while wearing oven mitts. Stack in a pyramid shape. Eat and enjoy!!