SQUEEZEM

August 1998

Drought. Don't you love them?
Endless trips to the garden with waterfilled milk cartons.
But today hot pepper plants are the only things thriving.
And their gasping for breath.
I water them anyway and walk back through the knee high dried up corn stalks.
Give a little chuckle thinking about those crows waiting in the trees everyday.
Their wasting good time here when the neighbors down the road are hooked up to city water.
I walk on up by the house and see Mother-In-Law peeking in the bathroom window.
She must be feeling more like herself today.
I walk up close behind her and yell,"Beautiful today,huh?"
Did I mention she is almost deaf?
Got to get those perks wherever you can.
But she only jumps about two feet.
Explaining how no one would answer the door on her way down.
Door is open as usual but I'll save that for another day.
Says she got these three eggs from the new chickens.
Ask if I want them. It's no use telling her we have so many I've been
letting the boys throw them upside trees down in the woods to amuse them.
It turned into "brother has an egg face" game.
A lot cheaper than "kill brother on the hill" game.
I point her back around the side of the house. We part ways at the open front door.
I go on in and look at the eggs as I wash them.
Every one cracked.
Hmmmm....
I'm thinking maybe I should look at carton hubby brought over two days before.
Every one cracked.
The thought she might be trying to kill me with something in the eggs flits past but no....
Hubby eats most of them.
Maybe Big Dog sitting by the henhouse breathing in through the crack
he's been knawing in side for the past few days keeps them on their toes.
Tap dancing on eggs.
Shame to stop him.
Keeps him occupied.
So I proceed over to the trailer to ask her why all the eggs are cracked.
"That's how they came out."
"You mean those chickens are laying cracked eggs?"
"No, I mean that's how they came out of the snake."
ok...
"Say what?"
"The snake gets there in the middle of "Days Of Our Lives"
and I'm not missing my show knowing he'll still be there in fifteen minutes."
ok...
"So how do you get the eggs to give to me?"
"Squeezem back out."
I just had to ask.