Jennifer awoke and for a moment couldn’t figure out where she was. Why would she sleep on the couch? But as she looked around, she saw policemen and Jonathan gazing pensively out the window. As she moved, he turned to her. His first instinct was to go to her except that she’d seemed to resent his efforts to comfort her last night.
"Did I miss anything?" Jennifer asked feeling guilty for falling asleep.
"No. There hasn’t been any word." Jennifer could hear an edge to Jonathan’s voice. The longer Max was away the less likely he’d be found. If he was taken for money, where was the ransom call?
Jennifer rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "I’ll go make some coffee." She could practically hear the ripping as her heart pulled in two. She hurried to the kitchen so she could spare herself the pity a break down would get her.
Jonathan found her at the sink, the coffee carafe over flowing with running water as she cried. He wanted to reach out to her but was afraid of her reaction. Was she giving him a dose of his own medicine by keeping her pain to herself? Didn’t she understand that when he comforted her, he was comforting himself as well?
He stuck his hands safely in his pockets as he stepped behind her. "Jennifer?"
She jumped at the sound of him. "Oh, I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t hear you come in."
"I’m sorry I startled you. Is there anything I can do for you? Get for you?"
"No. No I’m all right. I’m not going to dwell on the negative. I need to focus on Max being found safe."
This time Jonathan didn’t stop himself. He reached out and pulled her back towards him wrapping his arms around her. He needed to hold her, feel her warmth and strength. Jennifer let him. Despite her efforts to be strong and stoic, she needed to be near him, to feel him around her. She turned around and returned his embrace. Jonathan let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He needed her, needed her to need him. He slipped one hand up behind and neck to pull her closer and then just held on letting the feel of her, the scent of her fill him and give him strength.
"Mr. Hart? Mrs. Hart?" a young police officer entered the kitchen.
"Yes." Jonathan replied but didn’t ease his hold on her.
"The FBI agent and victim’s advocate are here to see you."
"Victim’s advocate?" Jennifer asked pulling back and looking to Jonathan.
He shrugged. "We’ll see them."
As the policeman exited two people entered. "Mr. Hart? I am Special Agent Quinn."
"Yes, we were expecting you." Jonathan said shaking Agent Quinn’s hand.
"And I am Julia Kaiton with the victims advocate division of the police department. Captain Gray asked that I come by."
"I was just making some coffee," Jennifer said. It felt so odd to have her hostess reflex kick in when her son was missing.
"Can I help you with that?" Julia asked. "I know Agent Quinn has some questions to ask you. I’d be happy to make the coffee."
Jennifer just looked at Julia, as the whole oddness of the situation hit her. Jonathan put an arm around Jennifer and led her to the table. "That would be wonderful, thank you," he said.
Jennifer, Jonathan and Agent Quinn sat at the table in the kitchen. "We were told you are the best in this sort of situation," Jonathan said.
"You sound a little surprised. I assure you that I have much experience." Jennifer looked at the agent. He did look a little young and really not much like a FBI agent. He didn’t wear a dark suit. Instead he had khaki pants and a green shirt that seemed to be the same color of his eyes. His hair was dark and his features were etched deep into his face. He was young, but his experience was chiseled in his face.
"I’m sorry if it sounded like I was questioning your skills. I have seen your file and I know you are the best."
The agent nodded. He knew Jonathan Hart had the contacts and money to get the best of the best, and Quinn was the best. "I have gone over the reports given thus far…"
"And?" Jennifer threw in anxious to know what an expert might think.
"I think we need to start talking about people who Max would have known."
"You think the person knew Max?" Jonathan was stunned.
"Kids are taken off the streets everyday without anyone noticing but in this case, he was surrounded by friends and there was no sign of a struggle. I think who ever it was coaxed Max to go with him."
"No." Jennifer’s voice was firm. She looked to Jonathan. "He wouldn’t have gone without letting us know where he was going."
"She’s right."
Agent Quinn shrugged. Parents always thought they knew their kids and their kid’s behavior. They seemed to forget their own sneaking around when they were kids.
"Well, we don’t know the circumstances but the fact that he didn’t put up a fight or call out to anyone would lead me to believe he knew the person." Jennifer shook her head. "Maybe the person said he could call home from somewhere else," the agent threw in. He could see Jennifer wasn’t buying his theory and he couldn’t afford to loose her confidence in him.
"But why?" Jonathan asked. "No one has called and asked for a dime."
"It’s still early. If they did know you or Max, it could be they are trying to get to you through the waiting. Yesterday, did you have your usual routine?"
Jonathan looked at Jennifer and remembered the strong desire he’d had when he glanced at her picture on his desk the day before. A desire that sent him home with a need to fill himself with her. "No."
Agent Quinn nodded. "What was different?"
"I came home early." Jonathan replied.
"Was there any particular reason?"
"Is this really important?" Jonathan asked a little uncomfortable with sharing the intimacies of his life.
"It could be. Did whoever it was know you left early. Had he been waiting for such an opportunity?"
"It wouldn’t have mattered," Jennifer cut in. "I was the one who was supposed to pick him up. I was late."
"Why was that?"
"I don’t see why this is so crucial." Jonathan said.
"Again, I’m just trying to get a feel for the whole situation."
Jonathan shook his head. "I came home to make love to my wife. There. It’s said. How do you think that relates to my son being kidnapped?"
Agent Quinn show a reaction to Jonathan. "Is that what made you late Mrs. Hart?"
"Yes." Jennifer couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. "Yes. I was late and now my son is missing. Oh God! It’s my fault."
Jonathan sent Agent Quinn a warning look as he put his arm around Jennifer. "Jennifer. This is not our fault. It the kidnapper’s fault."
"If I’d been there. He was counting on me. I should have been there."
"But we weren’t." Jonathan’s voice was thick with his own grief and annoyance that she blamed him.
"Here is some coffee," Julia said giving each person a mug.
"Can you think of anyone that may have a grudge against you or your wife?" Agent Quinn asked deciding to move on.
Over the years, they had run into many people who seemed to have grudges. Robin Wall. Forde Beebe. Elliot Manning. Alfred Raine. Most the time they didn’t know about it until they were already in danger. "I suppose its possible but I can’t think of any one." Jonathan said.
"You haven’t bought out a company or fired someone?"
"Not this week." Jonathan said a little annoyed at the inference.
"What about you Mrs. Hart. Can you think of anyone who’d want to hurt you or Mr. Hart?"
"If they wanted to hurt me or Mr. Hart why take Max?"
"If they do want to hurt you, then they don’t want to hurt the boy. They will keep him safe because he is the key to hurting you at least for now. As you know now, there is no greater agony."
Jennifer nodded and hoped that the tears that threatened would stay away long enough to get through this interview. "I don’t know of anyone who’d be out to get us."
"Well, why don’t you think about it a little more." Agent Quinn got up from the table. "I’m going to return to the site and talk with some of the witnesses. I’ll be back later to give you an update."
Jonathan and Jennifer sat at the table stunned and overwhelmed by the helpless that seemed to paralyze them.
"This is very difficult," Julia said sitting down at the table. Jonathan and Jennifer remained speechless. "I’m here to offer any support or assistance. I can also guide you and explain what is going on. Sometimes things can get confusing. I know how horrible you must feel."
Jennifer’s eyes shot up. "How can you possibly imagine how we feel."
Jonathan was surprised by the venom in Jennifer’s tone and reached to take her hand.
"No, Jonathan. All these people are here to help us but I see them. They look at us with pity. They go home to their families and hug them and thank God it isn’t them. While my heart has been completely ripped from my chest. How can she possibly know?"
Julia sat straight in her chair. She wasn’t shocked or insulted by Jennifer’s response. No she’d expected it. "March 8th 1990 my son Josh didn’t come home."
Jennifer’s eyes grew large with shock and then regret. "I’m sorry."
"There is no need. I sat where you are right now. I have been through the waiting, the looks, the agony of not knowing, being afraid to know. I can’t say that my experience is the same as yours but I know what it is like to lose a child."
Jennifer wanted to ask but was afraid of the answer about Josh’s outcome. "No," Julia said. "Josh never came home."
Jonathan shuddered. That wouldn’t be Max. Max was going to come home. Whatever had to be done, he would be home.
"This situation can be very stressful on you individually and as a couple…."
Jennifer and Jonathan looked at her in confusion. "We are not worried about ourselves, Mrs. Kaiton."
"You won’t do Max much good if you don’t. This type of thing can eat away at you. The guilt, the blame. It can grow and consume until its all that is left of you and your marriage."
"Are you saying that Max’s disappearance will ruin our marriage?" Jennifer asked stunned at the direct comment by Julia.
"It’s not a certainty but it’s a possibility… IF you don’t take care."
"Jennifer and I have a very strong marriage. Stronger than most."
"So I have heard." Julia knew all about the Harts and their idyllic marriage. She was certain it was the truth. But she also knew how something like the loss of a child could consume people until they were shells of themselves.
"And we don’t have any guilt or blame. Whoever has Max is the guilty party. And I will blame him with my own two hands if I get the chance."
Julia smiled knowing that she shouldn’t pursue the matter further at this time. But she could see doubt in both Jonathan and Jennifer’s eyes. There was definitely guilt and quite possibly blame as well. "I’m glad to hear that."
Jonathan took Jennifer’s hand. "I’m going back out in the living room and see what the police and FBI have planned." He wasn’t sure to ask her if she wanted to come with him or if she would fine to stay there. And that made him wonder if maybe Julia had a point about how these situation can change people.
"I’ll be out in a minute."
Jonathan smiled and kissed her cheek. "Max is coming home."
Jennifer nodded and hoped to God he was right.
"He’s very devoted to you and Max." Julia said when Jonathan was gone. In some ways, Jennifer thought it was an odd statement. Weren’t all fathers devoted? But she knew it wasn’t true. She knew Jonathan was special and a tinge of guilt lapped at her for pushing him away.
"Yes he is."
"Are you alright Jennifer? You look a little pale?"
Jennifer looked at Julia. She was a stranger. A stranger who’d been in this situation. A stranger who was sent here to offer support. "I was a little hard on him last night."
Julia nodded. She knew. She understood. "Men tend to keep their feelings wrapped up tight."
Jennifer looked up. "That’s just it. Jonathan is a very openly feeling man. He’s so warm and loving. He’s affectionate with Max and me. And I have seen rage in him that would set this house on fire."
"But he doesn’t share his feeling about this."
"No. I can see it in his eyes though. It’s killing him. But he won’t say it. He won’t share it with me, cry with me."
"What did he say to you when you asked?"
"He was angry, not hurt that I questioned his feelings about Max. He said he needed to handle it his own way. I just feel like such a dope, weeping and hurting. The typical woman. He’s right. It doesn’t help get Max home"
"Jennifer, we can’t help how we feel. We can only help how we deal with feelings. Perhaps Jonathan has some sort of difficulty handling painful emotions but maybe now, during the most painful of times, it isn’t the right time to analyze it."
"But he treats me like I am delicate and frail. Like I am going to collapse and he’s going to hold it all together for us. He doesn’t need to do that."
Julia nodded. She could see Jennifer’s frustration. "My best advice would be to support him no matter what. When it’s over, then you can discuss your ability to hold him up when he’s down."
Jennifer took a sip of coffee. The talk seemed to help her but it wasn’t helping Max. "I need to get back to him and see what I can do."
Julia nodded. "I’ll just clean up here."
"Hey sport." Elliot opened the door to Max’s room. "I made some pancakes you want some?"
Max sat at the end of the bed. He had hoped it had all been a bad dream but when he woke up he was still in the boat with Elliot. At least he wasn’t sick. But the boat hadn’t left the dock. "I’m not hungry."
"Suit yourself." Elliot popped a pancake from the plate he was carrying into his mouth. "You slept in your clothes. I told you there were pajamas and clothes in the drawer."
Max didn’t respond.
Elliot knew this wasn’t going to be easy. But nothing worth having ever was. "Say, I have some pictures of your mom and me. I told you I knew her. Do you want to see them?"
"Where is my mom? You said I could see her."
"You will. If everything goes well. You and I need to get to know each other first. Come on." Elliot put an arm around Max and led him out of his room, up the corridor and up some stairs. At the top of the stairs, they entered a large open room. Elliot motioned towards the back of the room where a table was set for breakfast. "Let’s eat and I’ll show you the pictures."
Max was hungry. He hoped he wouldn’t be seen as a traitor for eating this man’s food.
"This one here? This is your mom and me at the beach in Australia. She’s pretty, don’t you think?" Max looked at the picture. His mom looked younger, a lot younger. She was wearing a bikini bathing suit and her hair was different, shorter and curlier. She was pretty and yet, there was something missing. Her eyes didn’t seem as sparkly.
"And this one, was New Years 1976. Wow what a night." Elliot could remember that night like it was yesterday. It was a good time. A time when it seemed like all they did was go from one wild adventure to another. That night in particular, Jennifer allowed him to indulge in some fantasies. Oh, she complained a little, told him she had enough, but that was part of the game. In the end she’d loved it. The bruises didn’t last too long, just long enough to remind of that one perfect night. After that, it all went to hell. Elliot admitted that Jennifer seemed out of sorts before her trip to London. She had been telling him she wanted out. But he knew she was just saying that to manipulate him. And of course, Jonathan Hart. Well she went to him to make Elliot jealous, to spite him. And it worked. He was ready in Australia, when Jonathan bought the game research, to buck up and be the man Jennifer wanted. Things didn’t go quite as planned. Jennifer was still miffed at him. But now it would be different. When she saw him with her son, she’d know that Elliot was the only man for her.
"Your mom is quite a looker isn’t she?"
Max nodded, uncomfortable of thinking of his mom the same way he might think of Brittany Spears.
"We loved each other Max. Your mom and I."
Max could feel his pancakes shift in his stomach. Some how he couldn’t imagine his mom even liking a guy like this.
"We were going to be a family. I tried any way." Elliot remembered how mad she’d been when he refused to use a condom and then ignored her when she refused to have sex with him. But he knew she’d be good mom. And she was loyal. She would have never left if she had his baby.
"It’s different now. She loves my dad." Max knew that for sure. He may only be ten years old but he knew love when he saw it. It wasn’t in his mother’s eyes in the pictures. And it wasn’t in Elliot's eyes now.
Elliot ruffled Max’s hair. "It will be different when she’s here with us."
The next two days were agonizingly long. The FBI and police worked their angles, keeping Jennifer and Jonathan informed but not allowing them to do more than sit and wait. Jonathan was not one to sit and wait. No he was a doer. He needed to be active, to feel like he was doing something to help. While Jennifer wasn’t one to rush out into danger, she didn’t like the sitting and waiting either.
"What can we do?" Jennifer asked as she watched Jonathan pace around the bedroom.
"I don’t know." Jonathan stopped for a minute and ran his hand through his hair. He looked to Jennifer. She was waiting for his lead but he didn’t know what to do or where to start. It was making him crazy. His stomach tightened as he realized he was nearing the edge. He was going to loose it if he didn’t do something, anything.
Jennifer watched Jonathan. She’d never seen this level of negative energy. He looked like he was going to explode or collapse, she wasn’t sure. "Darling?" Jennifer walked to him. Reaching out she placed her hand on his arm. He flinched and pulled away. It tore at Jennifer. She wouldn’t have never guessed a little move like that could hurt so much.
She bit her bottom lip as she tried to stop the tears from coming. Jonathan turned to her as he realized what he did. "I’m sorry. I just can’t …"
Jennifer nodded. "Okay." Clearing her throat she continued. "I think I might take a shower."
"That’s a good idea."
Jonathan watched Jennifer leave to take a shower. "Jerk." He said to himself. He knew he should go to her. But he couldn’t trust himself to keep it together. She thought she could support him, be there for him and in most cases she could. But this was different. Jonathan felt on edge, like every nerve was poised to scream out and strike. And then what? He’d throw things and Max would still be gone. After the energy was released all that would be left is a sobbing shell of a man. How would he find Max then? No he couldn’t go to her and he hated himself for it.
Jennifer let the hot steaming water pelt her body. She tried not to think about the horrible turn her life had taken. Her son was gone, her husband here but equally as distant. Well, that wasn’t quite right. Some moments he seemed to be quite attentive to her wanting to comfort her but not sure how. And then other times, he seemed almost afraid to touch her, afraid of himself. And Jennifer didn’t know what to do about it.
She decided to focus on the case. That was something she had some experience at. The first baffling thing was how Max could disappear. She knew Agent Quinn didn’t believe her but she knew Max would have never gone willingly with anyone without calling. But how could he have been taken unwillingly without anyone noticing? So maybe he went willingly because he was threatened? Or maybe he was approached by someone he was taught to trust like a policeman? That had to be it. He had to have been tricked. But by whom and why?
Jennifer indulged in a little pampering when she got out of the shower. It helped relax her to put on lotion and do her hair. And when relaxed, she seemed to have clearer thinking. Once dressed, she would go to Jonathan and talk to him about her theory. Maybe he would have more ideas to add to it.
While Jennifer showered, Jonathan headed down stairs. He first headed to the bar thinking a good stiff drink might help settle his nerves. Then he decided that dulling his senses might not be the best thing. He headed to the kitchen to get a glass of juice. He found Julia doing the dishes.
"Where’s Ruthie?" he asked as he headed to the fridge.
"She said she had to do some grocery shopping. I told her I would finish these." Julia looked to Jonathan from the corner of her eye. "She seems to be taking this pretty hard too."
Jonathan found a glass and poured some juice. "She’s known Max since he was a baby. He’s kind of a grandson I guess to her."
Julia nodded. "She seems a little worried about you though."
"Really?" Jonathan sat down at the table and called for Freeway Jr their dog.
"She and Jennifer."
Jonathan eyed Julia suspiciously. Of course Ruthie would worry, it was in her nature. But bringing up Jennifer seemed like perhaps Julia was trying to provoke Jonathan.
"We are all under a lot of stress right now."
"Where is Jennifer?" Julia could tell Jonathan was on to her so she backed off for a moment.
"She’s taking a shower."
"Oh good. I’m glad she is taking care of herself. It will help her think clearer."
"I wish she’d get some sleep. She’s only gotten a few hours a sleep over the last few nights."
"You’re worried about her?"
"I don’t know if its worry."
"It’s something you can do though. You are stuck here at the mercy of the FBI and police and feel helpless. But, taking care of Jennifer is something you can do."
"Keen observation Dr. Freud."
Julia laughed and sat down at the table with him. "I have a feeling she feels the same."
Jonathan remembered how Jennifer reached out to him and he shied away. The memory sent a burn of shame through him. "I wish I could give her what she wants but I can’t."
"Won’t." Julia’s voice was calm but it was clear her word was a challenge. "She only wants to know how you feel. She doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by her grief by herself."
"She’s not alone. She never will be. But, I don’t have to let my feelings out to be there for her."
"Its not a matter of being there for her, it’s a matter of sharing with her."
Jonathan shifted in his seat. "There would be nothing left of me if I did."
"Really? Why is that? Usually letting our feelings out clears the mind and soul allowing us to gain a better perspective and think more clearly. What do you feel Jonathan?"
"I feel like if I release even on little bit of the anger or hurt or fear, that I will destroy everything I hold dear."
Julia’s eyes widened in surprise. "I don’t understand."
"Once it was out, there’d be nothing left."
"Of who?"
"Of me." Jonathan rubbed his hands over his eyes. "I can’t be there for Max and Jennifer if I lose control of my feelings. And right now, I feel like I’m on the edge of doing just that."
"So why don’t you tell her that?"
"I can’t."
Jennifer stood outside the door to the kitchen. She wasn’t sure if she was more angry or heart broken at what she heard. She heard Jonathan talking to Julia, expressing feelings. Maybe not the total intensity and depth of feelings but he was talking to Julia not her. Jennifer turned away from the kitchen. She grabbed her coat and headed to the door.
"Mrs. Hart? Where you going?" the officer asked routinely.
"Out." She said closing the door behind her.
