We trust you will enjoy your visit. It is excellent reading for a rainy day. I see you have endeavored to seek Mr. Bertram Wooster's Page. Ah, very good reading, indeed. Although, he is presently engaged to our Mr. Jeeves and is unlikely to terminate his service for any reason. But please, do enjoy, his is our particular favorite on these rainy days.
Wooster: "If you ask me Jeeves, art is responsible for most of the trouble in the world."
Jeeves: "It's an interesting theory, Sir. Would you care to expatiate upon it?"
Wooster: "As a matter of fact, no Jeeves. No The thought just occures to me, you know, as thoughts do."
Wooster: "You can't go around London asking people to pretend to be Gussie Fink-Nottle...Well, you can, I suppose. But what a hell of a life."
Wooster: "Madeline Bassett labors under the delusion that I am madly in love with her. Well, when a girl thinks you're in love with her and comes to you and says that she's returning her betrothed to store and is prepared to sign up with you instead - what can you do except marry her? You have to be civil."
Wooster: "For your information, Catsmeat, Jeeves takes a size 14 hat, eats tons of fish and moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform."
Aunt Agatha is trying to marry Bertie off on yet another girl. Bertie is not so thrilled.
Wooster: "You're not suggesting that I just turn up at this Deverill Hall Place and ask to marry their Gertie?"
Aunt Agatha: "Her mother confided to me that Gertrude was being pursued by some quite unsuitable sort of..actor, of all things. I said to her, 'She's just the girl for Bertie.'"
Wooster: "And that's that's another thing. If this Gertrude Winkworth and I should, by some remote chance hit it off, we'd be known by all and Sundry as Bertie and Gertie. Like some dashed musical act."
Wooster: "My Aunt Agatha is sitting out there just waiting to pounce. She thinks acting is the next thing to devil worship."
Jeeves: "I endeavor to give satisfaction, Sir"
Jeeves: "I'm sure that your cool head and undoubted thespian powers will see you through the day, Sir."
Bertie Wooster is pretending that he and Jeeves are chums (for the Communitsts at his table) - NOT master and servant. Wooster tries to get some hot water.
Wooster: "I don't know what you've been doing to the cooker, Comrade Jeeves, but I don't seem to be able to get the gas lit."
Jeeves gets up and whispers as he slinks by: "It's electric, Sir."
-Jeeves and Wooster
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