BuffyvsDracula- Anya: "Right, except for the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing... yucko." Xander: "How would you know?" Anya: "Oh, we hung out a few times. Back in my demon days. You know, once or twice. He's pretty cool. You know, from a whole evil-thing perspective." Xander: "Please. He was no big whoop."

Anya: "I doubt he'd remember me. I was just a silly young thing. I mean, like 700 or so. But he did say that this guy I cursed was doomed forever, which was really sweet, don't you think?"

Xander: "You don't want to come back to my place?" Anya: "It's whites day, remember? The bleach smell makes me nauseous."

"How come I have to be here Slayer-sitting, while the other guys get to look for Dracula?"

real me-Anya: "Look at this now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage." Xander: "That means you're winning." Anya: "Really?" Xander: "Yes, cash equals good." Anya: "Ooh! I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?"



no place like home -Anya: "Please go." Xander: "Anya. The Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that 'please go' just got replaced with 'have a nice day'." Anya: "But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?" Xander: "No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it." Anya: "Hey you! Have a nice day!"

Anya: "You're out of crystal balls. Those babies are really popular with the amateurs. Better re-stock and raise the price 10%. Make it 15%." Giles: "Anya " Anya: "Your cash register looks like squirrels nest in it." Giles: "Anya " Anya: "And the hand of glory packs some pretty raw power. Better institute a 7-day background check " Giles: "Anya Would you like a job?" Anya: "Okay." Giles: "Good. Then we can talk shop tomorrow." Anya: "Okay boss."



family-"We have to bring presents, right? Birth is a present thing?"

Anya: "I'm just so excited! They come in, I help them. They give me money in exchange for goods. You give me money for working for you. I have a place in the world now. I'm part of the system. I'm a workin' gal!" Giles: "Oh, well, yes. Why don't you start organizing the shipping orders?" Anya: "Oh, no, that's boring. I just wanna do the money parts."

Anya: "Thank you for your purchases. We value your patronage!" Giles: "Perhaps you could be a little less effusive, Anya?"

Xander: "Mm, give me sugar. I've come to buy sugar." Anya: "Mm. We value your patronage."

Anya: "Excuse me. What kind?" Beth: "What?" Anya: "What kind of demon is she? There's lots of different kinds. Some are very, very evil. And some have been considered to be useful members of society."



shadow-""That's what I've been saying. I mean, I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter. Which really just goes to show how much I've grown!"

Xander: "Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers." Anya: "Great. Thank you very much for those nightmares."



listening to fear-""I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb."

"Yes, 'cause it seems like we're always dealing with creatures from outer space except that we don't ever do that."

Riley: "No pulse." Anya: "Yep, the space lamb got him."



into the woods- Dawn: "When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this...and Buffy would chase me around the house yelling 'I'm the Slayer! I'm gonna get you!'" Anya: "That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will turn out badly."

Anya: "Well, we could wager this time. You could give me real money. That would be different." Xander: "And after we teach her to gamble, maybe we could all get drunk." Anya: "I don't think they'd server her in a bar. But we could bring something in. Strawberry Schnapps tastes just like ice cream."

Anya: "Who ordered more chicken's feet? The ones we have aren't moving at all." Xander: "That's generally what happens when you cut them off the chicken." Anya: "I'm serious Maybe we should do a holiday promotion - one free with every purchase." Anya: "Oh, yes. Very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon. I can just hear you in private: 'I dislike that Anya. She is newly-human and strangely literal.'" Willow: "What? I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks like that." Anya: "There is nothing wrong with my idea, anyway. I have been very good for this store. If it wasn't for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a quarterly tax statement and wetting himself."

Giles: "Anya - will you mind the store?" Anya: "Sure thing. Have a nice day. Don't get killed!"



triangle-"Xander? If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. Big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like on a bomb in a movie. And there's this whole bunch of colored wires and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one and then at the last second... no... the red one and click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left. Then you don't leave. Like that, okay?"



checkpoint-"Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now."

Buffy: "We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon." Anya: "Willow's a demon?"



blood ties-"I can help with the research. I know way more about demon dimensions than Giles. Well I do."

"Anya:"It's lovely! I wish it was mine! Oh like you weren't all thinking the same thing". Giles:"I'm fairly sure i wasn't i've got one just like that at home"



i was made to love you -Tara: "Willow's good at all that computer stuff, but me not so much. Do you really understand all that?" Anya: "Oh. Well, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like, 'whoa, I'm eleven hundred years old. I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans."

Anya: "Anyway, I took the money from working for Giles, and I tripled it." Tara: "Tripled? Like, first money, then money money money?" Anya: "Yes. I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope."

Tara: "You, you can do all this stuff with a regular computer?" Anya: "I'll show you. You can also see the website I designed for the magic shop. Huge photo of me."

Anya: "I let them do that. Dance together. That was me." Tara: "Very nice of you." Willow: "A good deed." Anya: "Yes. I'm expecting a big karmic reward any second now."

"She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely."

"Xander got hypnotized by the strange girl. I am remaining calm, however."

"Ooh, can we throw him out the window like the robot did? 'Cause that was neat."



the body-Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?

Willow: (appalled) Oh my god will you shut your mouth? Just not open it please?

Anya: What am I doing?

Willow: How can you act like that?

Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot, is that the helpful thing to do

Xander: Guys

Willow: The way you behave

Anya: Well nobody will tell me

Willow:Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!

Anya: But I don't understand!

Anya: I don't understand how this all happens, how we go through this, I mean I knew her and then she's, there's just a body, I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead, it's stupid, it's mortal and stupid, Xander's crying and not talking and I was having fruit punch and I thought that Joyce would never have any more fruit punch and she'd never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain(starts crying)

Willow: (softly) We don't know. How it works. Or why.



intervention- Tara: "Oh yeah, Willow wants to watch this thing on The History Channel tonight -- Salem witch trial stuff, which is only gonna get her all upset." Anya: "I was there. It really wasn't that bad. See if you were really a witch you'd do a spell to escape. So really it was only bad for the falsely accused, and, well, they never have a good time."

Xander: "I wish Giles had told us they were back from the desert. I wish I knew what went on there." Anya: "Oh, you know, Slayer-Watcher stuff. Probably some silly ritual with an enchanted prarie dog or something."

tough love-Xander: "Honey. Old saying: A watched customer never buys." Anya: "They would if they were patriotic!" Xander: (sotto voce to Willow) "O.k., I'm going in." (to Anya) "'Patriotic'?" Anya: "Yes! I've recently come to realize that there is more to me than just being human. I'm also an American." Giles: "Yes, I suppose you are, in a manner of speaking. I mean, you were born here -- your mortal self." Anya: (to Giles) "Well that's right, foreigner!" (to Willow & Xander) "So I've been reading a lot about the Good 'Ol Us of A, embracing the extraordinarily precious ideology that has helped to shape and define it." Willow: "Democracy?" Anya: "Capitalism!"

Anya: "Look at 'em! Perusing the shelves, undressing the merchandise with their eyeballs! All ogle, no cash. It's not just annoying, it's Un-American." Giles: "Appalling. Almost as if they no longer believe money can buy happiness."

Anya: "Oh! And you know what else is un-American? French people!" Willow: "You don't say." Anya: "From what I hear, they don't tip. French old people, now that's really the bottom of the barrel." Xander: "An! Hows about we try being just a bit less prejudiced and a bit more inclusive. Not us -- just you."

spiral-Giles: "There must be something in the Book of Tarnis that we've missed. Something that we can use against Glory."
Anya: "Piano!"
Xander: "Because that's what we used to kill that big demon that one time... no, wait, that was a rocket launcher. An, what are you talking about?"
Anya: "We should drop a piano on her. Well, it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment."
Giles: "Yes, or perhaps we could paint a convincing tunnel on the side of a mountain."

the weight of the world-"Willow: "Wish me luck?"
Anya: (cheerfully) "Good luck!"
Willow: "Thanks."

Willow: "We should move her. Unless we shouldn't. Should we?"
Anya: Couldn't that make it worse? I think I read that somewhere..."
Xander: I am so large with not knowing."

the gift- Anya: "Willow! I'll bet you've got some dark spell abrewin'. Make her a toad? Little hoppy toad? Hit it with a hammer?"

Anya: "God! Who would put something like that there! Is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke? As if things aren't bad enough!... This is an omen."
Xander: "Sshhh."
Anya: "No, no, no, it's an omen. It's a higher power telling me through bunnies that we're all gonna die!"

Xander: "Hey, I happen to be"
Spike: "... a glorified bricklayer?"
Xander: "I'm also a swell bowler."
Anya: "Has his own shoes!"
Spike: "The gods themselves do tremble."

Buffy: "Dawn, listen to me. Listen: I love you. I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles I... tell Giles I figured it out, and I'm o.k. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live... for me."

Bargaining (part1&2)- Giles: "Anya, this register report for January looks a bit off. Pull the files again." Anya: "Are you mad at me?" Giles: "Mad? No, I'm-I'm-" Anya: "Well then why are you torturing me? You know, I used to punish people like this when I was a demon. I made them double-check spreadsheets for all eternity." Giles: "I'm sorry if you resent my authority, but I won't feel comfortable leaving here until I know that absolutely everything-" Anya: "You're taking the Ramadan effigy?!" Giles: "It's not inventory, it's my personal collection." Anya: "Oh, huh. Aren't you Mister Dicey Semantics. So, what, you think you can just take anything you want? Give it!" Giles: "No, you give it! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Xander: "Okay, when I'm marveling at the immaturity..."

Tara: "The urn of Osiris." Willow: "You really found it." Anya: "Yeah. It wasn't easy. I went through every supplier the Magic Box has." Willow: "You used a Magic Box supplier? What if Giles finds out?" Anya: "He's too busy not leaving to pay attention to me. Besides, I ended up getting it on eBay." Tara: "You found the last known urn of Osiris on eBay?" Anya: "Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited edition Backstreet Boys lunchbox for a... a friend."

Xander: "Tomorrow? I don't know." Anya: "Um, Di-Discovery Channel has monkeys. And our tape machine's all wonky." Willow: "Guys, I need you on board here." Xander: "It's just... It feels wrong." Tara: "It is wrong. It's against all the laws of nature, and practically impossible to do, but it's what we agreed to. If-if you guys are changing your minds-" Willow: "Nobody's changing their minds. Period." Xander: "Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?" Anya: "You did." Tara: "You said Willow should be boss." Anya: "And then you said 'let's vote,' and it was unanimous... Tara: "...and then you made her this little plaque, that said 'Boss of Us,' you put little sparkles on it..." Xander: "Valid points, all. But we... I mean... we were just talking then." Willow: "Xander, I can do this, I promise. But not without you."

Tara: "It's better if we stay together." Willow: "Aw, you got butterflies, baby?" Tara: "More like bats." Anya: "Y-you wanna look at the money? I find it always calms me." Tara: "That's okay, thanks." Willow: "You tell those bats that everything is gonna be all right. I promise. We couldn't be more prepared." Tara: "I know, I just wish it was time, I- I can't stand worrying about it anymore." Anya: "Um... well, it's your lucky day then. I have something that will distract you." Willow: "What?" Xander: "'I've gone. Not one for long good-byes. I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles.'"

Anya: "Xander." Tara: "They're all right." Anya: "Then where are they? Why aren't they here?" Tara: "I don't know." Anya: "They could be hurt. Xander could be lying somewhere broken and bleeding, calling out my name." Tara: "Anya." Anya: "Like that, oh god! What if, what if they're really hurt, what if they're dead?" Tara: "They're not." Anya: "How do you know?" Tara: "Because he's with Willow. And if something... happened, I'd know. And so would you." Anya: "You think?" Tara: "I'm sure of it. They're fine. They're both fine."

afterlife- Willow: "I-it was Buffy, right? We, we saw her and it was really Buffy?" Anya: "I think we screwed it up. She's broken." Willow: "No! She's not broken! She's just... disoriented from being... tormented in some hell dimension. Probably tortured and... It's like, we don't even know how much time has passed there for her, uh, possibly years. That's not something you just get over. Oh my God. What if she never gets over it?" Anya: "And you think of this now?"

Anya: "Well, yeah. I mean... jet-lag from hell has gotta be, you know, jet-lag from hell."

Anya: "Xander, are you up? I can't sleep. Play a word game with me. Xander, are you awake? Okay, I'm going to describe an adjective with accurate but misleading clues, and then you have to guess what it is. Xander? Xander?" Xander: "Huh? What? Do what?" Anya: "That oughta do it."

Anya: "I found one of those 24-hour places for coffee. Remember that bookstore? Well they became one of those books-and-coffee places, and now they're just coffee. It's like evolution, only without the getting-better part. Uh, coffee, coffee, coffee, um, hot chocolate for Dawn. You're too young for coffee." Dawn: "Idiot." Anya: "You can have my coffee."

Anya: "Did I look like that? I hope I didn't look like that." Willow: "No, I'm sure you looked really glamorous cutting up your face."

Dawn: "Xander! Drive faster!" Xander: "I can't!" Dawn: "I could drive faster and I can't drive!" Anya: "She's right, you're like a snail. A snail who's driving a car very slowly. Come on, give it the lead foot! We've got to help Buffy with that demon you sent after her!" Xander: "I did not send the demon, I was possessed. The demon used me to eavesdrop on our conversation." Anya: "Great, so now what? We have to talk in some sort of anti-demon secret code?" Xander: "Ood-gay idea-yay, An-yay." Dawn: "Stop talking wrong in Pig Latin and drive! Buffy's in trouble!"

flooded- Anya: "Um... i-i-if you wanna pay every bill here, and every bill coming, and... have enough to start a nice college fund for Dawn? Start charging." Buffy: "For what?" Anya: "Slaying vampires! Well, you're providing a valuable service to the whole community. I say cash in." Buffy: "Well, that's an idea... you would have. Any other suggestions?" Anya: "Well, I mean, it's, it's not so crazy." Dawn: "Yes it is! You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives." Anya: "Spiderman does." Dawn: "He does not!" Anya: "Does too." Dawn: "Does no- Xander?" Xander: "Action is his reward."

Xander: "What's wrong with you?" Anya: "Why don't you ask your best friend Spiderman? You know, if you're not going to support me-" Xander: "I'm supportive! I'm totally supportive! I'm a flying buttress of support!" Anya: "No you're not." Xander: "This is because I haven't told them yet about the engagement, isn't it?" Anya: "No. Maybe. Yes! It's painful and confusing! I mean, first you, you give me this beautiful ring... and then I can't even wear it in public. I mean, do you know how depressing that is?" Xander: "Anya, I promise, your waiting days are almost over. I, I know it's frustrating ... but the way I understand this marriage thing, it's kind of a forever deal." Anya: "Not if you never get started. I mean, don't you want to get married?" Xander: "Yes." Anya: "So then why won't you tell them?" Xander: "Because... I'm still getting used to the miracle of a steady paycheck. And getting out of my parents' house. And this... this husband thing... it's a big step. Or... a lot of little ones. And... and I love you so much... I just want... every step to be just right." Anya: "Really? ...Hey! You tricked me! Just now, w-with your fancy talk and, and lips! You keep doing this, and I keep forgetting, and you keep stalling!"

Anya: "Giles! We're so glad to see you. We missed you. You can't have the store back." Giles: "I know." Anya: "You signed papers."

lifeserial- Buffy: Yes! And then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam! Giles: Yes...um...quite right....

(Nametag): Hello! My name is _Buffy_ Ask me about my curses!

Anya: Don't worry. Don't be nervous. Just do what I do: Picture yourself naked!

alltheway- Dawn: You do this every night? Anya: Every time I close out the cash register. The dance of capitalist superiority.

Xander: I'm gonna marry that girl. Buffy: What? She's 15 and my sister, so don't even-- oh.

Dawn: Can I try it on? Anya: Oh, absolutely not.

Xander: You got to know what to call 'em before they hit college. Giles: Rupert is an exceptionally strong name. Anya: (laughing) Yeah, if we want our progeny to eat paste and have their lunch money stolen.

Buffy: How's your face? Giles: Oh, still ruggedly handsome. Grandpa, indeed. Ow.

Vamp: Uh, excuse me. Can we fight now? Buffy: Hey, didn't anyone come here to just make out? (couple raises their hands) Buffy: Aw, that's sweet. You run. (to vamp) You scream.

once more with feeling- Buffy: So did anybody... last night, you know, did anybody, um... burst into song? Xander: Merciful Zeus! Willow: We thought it was just us! (all speaking at once) Giles: Well, I sang, but I had my guitar at the hotel. That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see, and the synchronized dancing from the room-service chaps. Willow: It was bizarre. Tara: We were talking, and then it was like... Buffy: Like you were in a musical? Willow: We did a whole duet about dueling mushrooms... Anya: ...and we were arguing and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies, and a dance with coconuts. Willow: ...with the couscous. Xander: It was very disturbing.

Buffy: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish, yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.

Dawn: Oh, my god. You will never believe what happened at school today. Buffy: Everybody started singing and dancing? Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl. Anya: Oh my god, did it sing?

Xander: So what'd you sing about? Dawn: Math.

Giles: Well, I'm a hair's-breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment, so I'm open to anything.

Tara: Lot of homework? Dawn: Ah, math. It seemed cooler when we were singing about it.

Spike: Strong. Someday, he'll be a real boy.

Anya: Dawn may have had the wrong idea in summoning this creature, but I've seen some of these Underworld child-bride deals, and they never end well. Maybe once.

Buffy: So, Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.

Sweet: What if I kill you? Buffy: Trust me, won't help. Sweet: Oh, that's gloomy. Buffy: That's life.

Spike: You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing, get your kumba-yayas out. Buffy: I don't want to. Spike: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones. tabula rasa- Loan Shark: There are a lot of things I would like, Mr. Spike. A house in Bel Air with a generously-sized swimming pool. And, of course, the 40 Siamese that you owe me. Spike: Take it easy, you'll get your kittens.

Anya: Do you think she walked around on clouds, wearing, like, Birkenstocks, and played a harp? 'Cause those are just not flattering. You know, the clunky sandals, not a harp. I mean, who doesn't look good with a harp?

Xander: We need to spend more time with her. Just hang out. Maybe have weekly dinners over here, or, uh, a book club. Short books. Videos!

Giles: I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing... except I seem to be British, don't I? Oh, and a man. With glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.

Spike: You don't suppose you and I... we're not related, are we? Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance. Giles: And you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and disappointment. (indicates self) Older brother? Spike: (snickers) Father. Oh god, how I must hate you. Giles: What did I do? Spike: There's always something. And what's with the trollop? Anya: Hey! Giles: Her? Spike: I saw you sleeping together. Giles: _Resting_ together.

Willow: I'm Willow Rosenberg. Huh, Willow. Funny name.

Spike: Rupert. (laughs) Giles: You're not too old to put across my knee, you know, sonny.

Spike: You never showed me affection like that. I'd wager.

Giles: Perhaps we should try another book? Anya: No. This book made the little fluffers, this book's gonna send them back. I've got it this time. Okay, "Himble abri. Abri voyon." (another bunny pops into existence) Giles: Yes, dear.

Giles: Clearly, that is not a helpful book, darling. Come down and we'll go about fixing this in a sensible fashion. Anya: Sensible? You think it's sensible for me to go down into that pit of cotton-top hell, and let them hippety-hop all over my vulnerable flesh?

Giles: Get a different book! Put that book down, do you hear! Not.. that... book!

Giles: Look what you've done, you lunatic woman! Anya: Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks-he's-so-great kind of jerk... and I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you! (hits him with book) Giles: Ow! God, no wonder I'm leaving you.

Giles: I'm so sorry, dear. Anya: No, Rupy, I'm sorry. You were right. That was the wrong book. smashed- Anya: Oh, for crying out loud! This is bizarre. You're all "la la la!" with the magic and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up and left you, and now everyone's scared to say anything to you. Except me. (to Xander) Is this the thing I do that you were commenting... Xander: Uh-huh.

Anya: The text I wanted, Giles took it with him. He has this thing that owning a book makes it, like, his property.

Xander: Aha! I got it! Here's our villain right here. (pause) What? Anya: That's a D & D manual, sweetie.

Xander: It seems like we've been through every book. Anya: Yeah, even the ones that weren't so boring you wanted to kill yourself. Xander: We have those?

Buffy: It's Willow - she of the level head. Anya: Well, those are the ones you have to watch out for the most. Responsible types. Buffy: Right. She might go crazy and start alphabetizing everything.

wrecked- Anya: And' *I'm* bizarre? At least I didn't dump you to hang out with an ex-rat.

Amy: I like your coat. When does the Slayer find time to shop?

Tara: God, I just closed my eyes for a minute. Dawn: And now there's cartoons. Plus a mother of all-night wedgies. Tara: Uh-oh. Dawn: It's not tragic. I'm sure as soon as I stand up...

gone- Xander: What happened to Buffy? She's gone. Anya: She's right here. Table four. I put her with your family. Xander: Great. Except, we don't hate Buffy. Let's put her back at table one. Anya: Well, where do I put D'Hoffryn? Xander: We're not inviting D'Hoffryn. Anya: We have to, he's my ex-boss! You're inviting your work buddies.

Anya: Oh, I got it! Xander: Really? Anya: Yeah, we'll put D'Hoffryn at your parents' table, and move your Uncle Rory to table five near the bar. Xander: Ahn honey, we're looking for invisibility spells here. Anya: Well, obviously I haven't found anything yet. At least nothing that would explain why things near Buffy become invisible.

doublemeat palace- Halfrek: Tell me more about Xander. Anya: You keep asking about him. Do you think I'm making a mistake? Halfrek: Do you? Anya: Well, no! Xander, he... He's very kind, and brave... he has the sweetest smile and the nicest body, and... he loves me. I mean, sometimes it isn't easy, but, he does. Halfrek: Who told you that it isn't easy to love you? Anya: Well, you know, I'll do something, or say something, and, and then he has to say stuff like, 'it's incorrect for you to appreciate money so much,' or, or, 'Observe: here is how a real human would behave.' Halfrek: Oh, so he corrects you? Anya: Well, no, it's just... um... well, no, I mean, now I'm all confused, I mean, wha, do you think there's something wrong with, with the way he treats me? Halfrek: Do you? Anya: Okay, you have to stop doing that. I love Xander. Halfrek: Even though he thinks he knows better than you? Anya: B-but he doesn't, he doesn't think that. Halfrek: Okay. I'm sorry. I was just curious. You know, you don't have to say another thing about it if you're not comfortable. Anya: B-but I am! I mean... it's not like I'm hiding any deficiencies or anything.

as you were- Xander: Why did we ever agree to have your friends, who are demons, and my family, who are monsters, stay at our place? Anya: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy. Xander: Without the laughs. We should have eloped. Anya: No! I've been through too much planning this wedding, and it is going to happen. It is going to be our perfect, perfect day if I have to kill every one of our guests and half this town to do it.

Anya: You know, if you love Riley Finn so much, maybe you should just marry him. Xander: He's taken. And that's not the point. Anya: So you think that their marriage is better than ours, is that it? Xander: No! But granted, I have a hard time imagining Nick and Nora Fury hiding out from their own relatives in the bathroom. And I have no idea what Riley and Mrs. Riley's wedding was like. Anya: Well, you haven't shut up about them. Xander: Well, they have a great marriage! And it bummed Buffy out, but I can see it. And Anya... I really have no clue what their wedding was like. Anya: So our wedding... is not our marriage. Xander: Separate things. One fills me with a dread akin to public speaking engagements. Anya: And that would be the wedding. Xander: Which will be over soon. Anya: But our marriage... Xander: That lasts forever.

hell's bell's-Anya: Are you guys even listening? I need feedback, people. Tara: Sorry. Please continue with the vows. Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to... love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?' 'However, I do entrust you with...' What? Is something funny? Tara: No, n-nothing, sweetie, just, just keep still. Anya: Okay. Blah, blah, blah, misogynistic. Blah, blah, 'I do however entrust you... um, with my heart. Take care of my heart, won't you please? Take care of it because, it's all that I have. And, if you let me, I'll take care of your heart too. I'll protect it and tend to it, like a little stray.' Wait, no. 'Like a, a little mangy stray that needs a home.' No, that's not it either.

Anya: Okay. Okay. For the last time. 'I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you and I'll always love you. And... before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really... and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and... you knew me. You saw me, and it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.'

two to go-

Anya: I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want. Xander: Again with the comfort. Look, we both know things might get ugly at, uh, Wiccapalooza. And if it gets really bad... Anya: Let me guess. You'll propose? Xander: I need to know if you're gonna turn on me. Use this little shindig as an excuse for some sweet revenge. Anya: There is nothing in this world that could give me greater or more lasting satisfaction than to reap bloody vengeance upon you, Xander Harris. But I can't. Not officially, not magically. So smile, it's your lucky day. You got away with it, I can't hurt you. Xander: Right, 'cause you varnishing the table with Spike, how could that possibly have hurt? It may have chafed... Anya: That wasn't vengeance. It was solace.

grave-

Anya: Giles! Giles, don't die. Not yet. There are things I want to tell you. Thanks a lot for coming. It was good of you to teleport all this way- Though in retrospect it would have been better if you hadn't come and given Willow all that magick that made her like ten times more powerful. That would have been a plus.



Somw quotes are from