Title: Muscle Boy

Author: Jeanny

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: Please. jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Spoilers: Season 1 Through Ariel

Distribution: I don't mind, just credit me and let me know where it's going.

Summary: Jayne has a few thoughts about his role on Serenity...and a certain girl. (Kaylee/Jayne, at least in Jayne's POV). A response to the Fast Loose & Lovely Pulp Fan Fic Project Challenge (http://www.fandomnation.com/fastloose.html).

Disclaimer: Firefly isn't mine and I don't own the characters. This is my first Firefly fic, too, so please be kind(ish).

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She ain't never gonna know it, but I noticed her right off. Sure, Inara made me look once or twice. I ain't never seen a genuine Companion before her, and she's like something outta one of them books my momma useta whip me for havin', but she's not the kind for me. Too fancy and such. Don't cotton to fancy. Never have.

Course the Captain set me straight right off where she was concerned. I was good enough to join his crew, eat his slop, get my part of the take, even have my own bed I don't hafta share...but I wasn't good enough to share anything with her. Not a word, not a kiss, definitely not a screw. No, Captain said, I'd better stay away from his mei mei. Or else we were gonna have words. Meaning we weren't gonna be doin' any talking, mind. I'm not as dumb as I look. Thought I might just be taking him on about it, but t'weren't no use, was it? She wasn't gonna pay no mind to me anyhow. Girl's too sweet for the likes of me.

Mei mei.

That's how the Captain thinks of her. That's how they all think of her. Betcha she thinks nobody sees her any different, not even that fancy doctor she's all on about. That boy's too good for her, or so he thinks. She thinks he's right, which is why I'm gonna kill him someday. Someday soon, I hope. S'gonna be a good day. Nobody tells my Kaylee she ain't as good as anyone. She ain't no mei mei. She's a...a woman...a beautiful...she's my girl.

Course I know she ain't really mine - haven't you been listening? She ain't never gonna be mine, I just...I wanna protect her, y'know? Don't wanna see her hurt, see her all crushed under that fancy boy's heel like so much gorram dirt. Don't wanna see her sullied by rutting in that filth with the likes of me, neither. Just wanna hear her laugh, see her smile. I scowl back at her because I can't let her know, not her or any of the others, how it makes my heart feel all light and fluffy-like. I ain't supposed t'have a heart, y'know. Ain't supposed t'care about nothin' and nobody. `cause that's my job. I'm the one whose gotta kill what needs killin' without gettin' all weepy bout it. S'what keeps me on this ship, and being on the ship keeps me near her, so I ain't gonna mind.

Now I know what you're thinkin'. Why'd I do it? Why'd I turn in Doctor Fancy Pants and his gorram crazy sis to the Alliance for money if all I want is to be near her? Why would I risk losing my place on the ship, my place near her? Well, I ain't got a good answer for that. I ain't as dumb as I look, but that don't mean I ain't dumb. Didn't think it would go down like that. Thought I could make it work, get me a bunch a' money, and nobody'd be the wiser, especially her. And while it was gonna damn near kill me to see her shed a tear over his shee niou hide, she'd get over him right quick and things would get back to the way they shoulda been all along. Kaylee'd be smiling at me and I'd...I'd scowl at her, say somethin kinda mean and go kill someone for the Captain cause that's my place.

So I made a mistake, and I gotta live with that, but it's alright. I'm still here, she's here, and she smiles at me. Once in a while I even smile back, mostly when she ain't lookin' cause I gotta reputation for being a mean sonuvabitch to keep. I'm plum grateful to the Captain, it's better than I deserve for betraying him. For betraying her, though I didn't think of it like that at the time. And I know one thing that makes it alright. The doc's sis's a certified nut, the boy's out of his gorram mind taking on the Alliance, and this whole thing ain't gonna end well. When the shee goes down, I'll be there to keep it from hitting Kaylee, and then things'll get back to normal for real.

See, told you I ain't as dumb as I look.

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Feedback is always welcome. :)