Disclaimer: I don’t any of these characters, but this twisted little story is definitely mine. No one else would want to claim responsibility. Oh, and I stole the title from a movie, so that belongs to whoever owns that.

Author’s note: This story takes place in present day in the Buffyverse, but I thought it would be funny if Buffy thought she was still betrothed to Spike, as in Something Blue, for some reason. I came up with this. Enjoy. J

Honeymoon in Vegas

Buffy walked through the graveyard slowly. She was lost in thought about all the things that happened lately. Her mother’s illness, Dawn, and especially Riley. She wished that she would have caught up to him before it was too late. She didn’t know what she would have said but she knew Xander was right. She needed to give him a chance. She could have pushed past the whole vamp suckage thing, maybe, anyway.

She was concentrating so hard on her thoughts that she didn’t even see the vampire that had risen right behind her. He lunged toward her and knocked her to the ground. Startled, she frantically scrambled to get up from beneath him. She managed to kick him off of her and he went flying.

He got back on his feet and she pulled her stake from her jacket pocket. As she raised it, he tackled her once more. The stake plunged through his heart as he landed on top of her. He turned to dust just as Buffy’s head slammed hard into one of the grave markers. She was knocked unconscious.

She lay there for several minutes before finally regaining consciousness. She put her hand to her head and felt a huge lump there. "Ow!" she said as she tried to get up. "This sucks!"

She slowly stood up and steadied herself against the headstone that had made contact with her head. She brushed the ashes off her clothes. "What happened?" She muttered to herself. She didn’t remember how she had gotten there or what happened. "I need to see Spike." She said softly. "He always makes me feel so much better." She sighed.

She headed out of the graveyard to Giles’ house where she knew her love was staying. They were getting married. She was so excited. There was a lot of planning to do though. Hopefully this nasty headache would go away soon, she thought.

She knocked on the door and Giles greeted her. "Hello, Buffy. What are you doing here so late? Is something wrong?" He asked.

"No, things are cool. I just came to see Spikey." She said happily.

"Spikey? What? You mean Spike? Why would he be here, Buffy?" He asked completely bewildered.

"Well, duh, Giles. You are keeping him captive here, aren’t you?" She said annoyed.

"What? That was ages ago. Buffy are you feeling alright?" He asked concerned.

"I’m fine. I just got a little bump on the head, that’s all. I wanted Spike to kiss it and make it better." She said with a smile.

"Oh, dear lord." Giles mumbled. "Buffy, what year is it?"

"What? Um, 1999. Why? Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Giles? You’re looking a little wigged." She asked him.

"Buffy, it’s actually 2001. It seems that you have somehow developed some sort of amnesia." Giles said scratching his head.

"What? That’s crazy. I feel fine, except for a little headache. Are you going to let me see Spike or not?" She pouted not believing him.

"He doesn’t live here anymore Buffy. He hasn’t for quiet some time." Giles said unsure of what to do next.

"Well where does he live?" She asked.

Absently Giles replied, "In a crypt at one of the cemeteries."

"Well, which one? There are a dozen cemeteries." She complained.

"Buffy, this isn’t a good idea. You need to stay here until we can figure out what’s going on." He pleaded with her.

"Oh forget it, Giles. You’re just mad because you don’t approve of our love." She said to him getting irritated. "I’ll find him on my own." She said as she stormed to the door.

"Buffy, wait!" He called after her.

"Don’t try and stop me!" She shouted. "By the way, glad to see that you got your eyesight back." She called over her shoulder as she slammed the door.

Giles slumped down in a chair and held his head in his hands. "Oh dear. This is not going to be good." He muttered.

Buffy walked to the first cemetery on her mental list. She looked around for a crypt where he might be and found nothing. She quickly made her way to another. She saw Xander walking down the street. He had a small grocery bag in his hand. He was getting some midnight snacks from the convenience store.

"Xander!" Buffy yelled, trying to get his attention.

"Hey, Buff. What’s up? Patrolling?" He asked her.

"I’m looking for Spike. Do you know where he lives?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah." He said confused.

"Well…Where? Tell me, Xander." She pleaded.

"Buffy, are you okay? You’ve like, been to his place a million times." He said baffled.

"Right…" She said confused. "I forgot. Can you just point me in the right direction?" She asked.

"It’s over there." He said pointing to graveyard across the street.

"Great! Xander, you’re the best!" She hugged him.

"That is one strange girl." Xander muttered as he walked back home with his snacks.

Buffy went to the crypt and opened the door. "Honey, I’m home!" She called out.

"What?" Spike said as he got up from his chair and turned around.

"I’m home darling!" She said excitedly.

"What?" He repeated. "Look, Slayer, I’m not really in the mood for your games tonight." He said to her irritated.

"What games?" She pouted. "And how come you didn’t tell me that you moved." She pouted.

"Moved? I haven’t gone anywhere. Look, if you’re here to kick my ass because of that wonder-boy, Riley, just do it and be done with it." He said irritably.

"Riley? Like I care about him." She said sarcastically. "He knows about us anyway. He’s cool with it." She told him as she moved closer to him.

"He knows about us? What are you bloody talking about, Slayer?" He said completely confused. He knew Riley was aware of his infatuation with the slayer, but he had no idea what she talking about.

"He knows that we’re getting married." She said sadly because he was acting like he didn’t remember. "Why haven’t you kissed me yet?"

"Married?" Spike said to himself. What the hell was she talking about?

"Yes!" She said happily as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Spike stood there completely stunned. She was kissing him. This is what he had been dreaming of and wanting for months. He almost pushed her away, then he decided he would just sit back and enjoy whatever this was.

She pulled away and looked at him dreamily. "Now, that’s better." She murmured into his ear.

He was in heaven. Her breath so warm against his ear. She was still close enough that he could smell her sweet perfume, and the taste of her lips. He was lost in sweet fantasy, when it dawned on him that for some reason she still thought they were under that spell that her witch friend had performed ages ago.

"Uh, Luv?" He started. "What year is this?" He asked her.

"What? You too? Again with the year question. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" She said annoyed.

"It’s just that…" He started, but then thought better of it. He didn’t know why she was acting this way, but he wasn’t going to spoil it. First he would have a little fun. "Never mind." He told her.

Just then, the door to the crypt opened and Harmony walked in. She shrieked when she saw Buffy standing there with Spike.

"Oh God! What is she doing here? Has she come to kill me?" Harmony said frightened.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?" Buffy said angrily.

"I live here, you dummy." Harmony said rolling her eyes.

"She lives here? With you? Spike, Are you cheating on me?" Buffy said grabbing him by the collar.

"Uh, she’s just staying here for awhile. There’s nothing between us." He stammered.

"What, Blondie Bear?" Harmony pouted. "I love you. What do you mean there’s nothing going on?"

"Harm, you need to leave now." Spike told her as he tried to rush her towards the door.

"That’s right. Spike and I are getting married and you’re not invited." Buffy said with a smirk.

"Married? Are you two on drugs or something?" Harmony asked. Then looking at Spike, "I thought we were going to kill her, and stuff. Now you’re marrying her? Hello. She’s the slayer, remember?"

"Just get out Harm. And take all your bloody unicorns with you!" He shouted at her.

"Spikey!" Harmony pleaded with him, "Where am I going to go?"

"I don’t care. Just get out." He said tossing her a duffle bag.

"Yeah, get out Harmony, or I will make it my life’s work to hunt you down!" Buffy said with a smile.

Harmony gasped, "I’ll just come back later for my stuff." Afraid of Buffy, she ran out the door.

"Good. I’m glad she’s gone." Buffy said seductively. "Now come here and kiss me you blonde god."

Spike excitedly grabbed her in his arms and kissed her passionately.

They finally parted and Spike had an idea. "You know, Luv, we should just forget about planning this big wedding. Your friends, they don’t understand our love." He said with a smirk.

"I know. Giles tried to tell me I had some sort of amnesia, or something."

"Giles knows about this?" Spike said worried that he would show up and ruin everything.

"Yeah, of course. Everybody knows were getting married."

"No, I mean, you saw him tonight?"

"Yes. He wouldn’t even tell me where you lived." She said annoyed.

"You know what we should do? We should just go to Las Vegas and elope." He said thinking quickly. He didn’t want her snap out of whatever this was before he had a chance to be with her.

"Oh! That’s so romantic! Our love is a forbidden one, you know. This is perfect!" She threw her arms around him.

"We should go now if we want to make it before sunrise." He said grabbing her arm and heading for the door.

"This is so exciting!" She cried.

They jumped in his car and sped the entire way there. They pulled into the big city just as the sky was turning pink from the sunrise. They jumped out of the car and ran into one of large casinos that boasted a wedding chapel.

They had made it just in time. "That was a close one." He told her. "I almost got fried by the bloody sun."

"Oh! That would have been awful! I can’t live without you, Spike." She said as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

"I’m right here, baby." He said softly. "I don’t know how much time we have, so we better find the chapel." He said pulling her along with him.

"What’s the rush?" She asked.

"I don’t want you to come to your senses…I mean, we don’t want anyone to find out and try and stop us." He corrected himself.

"Right, let’s go." She said happily.

They found the wedding chapel and were relieved that it was open twenty-four hours. They filled out the necessary paperwork and sat down to wait.

"Spike. I don’t want to get married without a dress." She said noticing that she was still wearing her dirty clothes from the night before.

"Well, Luv, maybe there’s a shop open here. Go look for something while were waiting." He told her. "But hurry, you don’t want to be late."

"I wouldn’t miss this!" She kissed him as she got up to go look for gift shops.

Spike sat back and ran his fingers through his hair. What the hell was he doing? She was going to kill him for sure when she finally regained her memory. He just couldn’t help himself. She was so perfect and beautiful. He was head over heels in love with her and he was enjoying pretending that she loved him too.

He hoped that deep down maybe she wouldn’t regain her memory at all or that if she did, she might somehow still love him. It was insane, but he wasn’t willing to let the charade end. He was evil after all. And what could be more evil than this? He thought.

Buffy only found one shop that was open at this early hour. It was a gothic looking shop with candles and incense. The only clothes that they had were tie dyed t-shirts and several black dresses.

"Um, don’t you have anything in white?" She asked the salesgirl who had a nose ring and blue hair.

"Uh, sorry sister. We don’t get much call for white in here." She said distractedly.

"Fine." She said picking out a pretty, long black velvet dress. It was nice, but not exactly good for a wedding. But she was marrying a vampire, so it was probably perfect. It was either that, or a tie-dyed tank top and shorts.

She paid for it and put it on in the dressing room. She quickly made her way back to the chapel.

"You look beautiful." Spike exclaimed. And it was true. She was a vision. Not her usual taste in clothes, but he rather liked the change.

"Thanks sweetie! Are they ready for us?" She asked.

"Yeah. Let’s go." He took her arm.

They entered the chapel and the lady who was to be one of the witnesses handed Buffy some red roses. She took them and smiled. They proceed up the isle to the waiting justice of the peace.

He began the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

Buffy just smiled nervously at Spike. He held his breath. Well, he didn’t really have to breathe, but he held it anyway.

"Do you Buffy, take William to be your lawful wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes, I do." She beamed at him.

"Do you, William take Buffy to be your wife as long as you both shall live?"

"For always and ever, I do." He said looking into her eyes.

"The rings please." The justice of the peace said.

"Oh no!" Buffy exclaimed. "We don’t have any rings." She said sadly.

"I got it covered." Spike told her pulling two little gumball machine capsules out of his pocket. "This was all I found, but it’ll do."

She laughed. "You are so great!"

They exchanged their gumball machine rings and the ceremony concluded.

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Spike grabbed her and they kissed passionately for several minutes. The justice of the peace cleared his throat loudly.

They both parted and looked at him. "Uh, sorry." Buffy said sheepishly.

"Where’s the hotel check in?" Spike asked quickly. " We need to get on with the honeymoon."

"Yes, of course you do. Over there." He said pointing beyond the chapel doors.

They both rushed out the door with Buffy giggling excitedly.

"Oh! This is the happiest day of my life!"

"Mine too, Luv." He said hoping that she would never regain her senses and kill him for this.

They proceeded to check in and they ran for the elevator. They kissed the entire way up to the twentieth floor. When they reached their room, Spike picked her up to carry her over the threshold. Luckily, all the drapes were drawn when they entered, so it was dark.

He carried her to the bed and began to remove her black dress. She started ripping his clothes from his body. They were both so filled with so much passion and longing. Spike had been dreaming of making love to her for months, but Buffy, she had no idea what she was doing. Spike momentarily felt a pang of guilt, but it was quickly pushed away when Buffy began licking her way down his now naked body. He moaned and forgot about everything.

They made love all day. He had never wanted anyone more than her. She was exquisite. He wanted it to last forever. When night finally fell, he held her in his arms tightly as she finally drifted off to sleep. He kissed the top of her head and fell asleep too, still dreaming about making love to her.

Buffy woke up slowly the next morning. She had no idea where she was. Her head was throbbing. She tried to move and noticed that someone’s arms were around her. She wasn’t alone. She thought about Riley. Had he come back? She looked at the sleeping person next to her. He was obscured by the sheet over his head. She saw a glimpse of bright blonde hair. Oh god! She thought looking around noticing that she wasn’t at home, but in some sort of hotel room.

She quickly ripped back the covers on the bed revealing a sleeping, naked Spike next to her. She screamed. And then noticed she was naked too. She grabbed the sheet as Spike jumped up in bed, startled by her scream.

"What’s wrong, Luv?" He asked, still half asleep.

"What’s wrong?!" She screamed. "What the hell have you done to me Spike? Oh God! What the hell did we do?" She wrapped the sheet around herself and began pacing the room.

"Shit." He muttered to himself. She was back. The regular Buffy was back and she was pissed. Not that he was surprised.

"Look, I can explain…" He started. He couldn’t really, but he had to think of something.

"You had better explain, or I’m…I’m…" She started frantically.

"Or what?" He asked knowing he shouldn’t be toying with her, but he couldn’t help himself.

"Or I’m going to kill you!" She said searching through the clothes that were on the floor. "I know I must have a stake in here some where." She said to herself.

"Sorry, sweetie. You must have forgotten to pack one." He said with a smirk.

She looked at him exasperated. She noticed that he was still lying there naked and she couldn’t help but be impressed. She smiled slightly at the sight, then shook the thought out of her head. "Spike, for God’s sake, put some clothes on!" She shouted at him.

He laughed, "You didn’t seem to mind last night."

She went over to him and punched him in the face. "Shut up!" She screamed. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She was here in some hotel with Spike, naked, and she didn’t remember anything. The last thing she remembered was walking in the graveyard thinking about Riley.

"Ow! That hurt!" Spike said holding his nose. "You didn’t have to bloody hit me!" Not that he blamed her. He was going to pay for this. But it had been worth it, he thought.

"Agh! Spike, please, tell me what happened. Why are we here? Where are we anyway?" She asked as she slumped down in a chair still clutching the sheet to her body.

"Well, Slayer, we got married." He said calmly.

"Married? Are you insane? I would never marry you. What did you do to me? Is this another spell or something?" She asked.

"No, well not exactly. More like the old spell decided to resurface a bit." He said trying to explain.

"What do you mean? The one Willow did?"

"Yeah, I guess. Look you came to me, you said we were getting married, so I decided to play along." He told her bracing himself for her wrath.

Suddenly the memories came back to her. She remembered hitting her head, seeing Giles, going to Spike’s crypt, threatening Harmony, driving to Las Vegas… Oh god, they were in Vegas! She remembered the chapel, the dress, and the honeymoon… She felt sick. This was so awful.

"I can’t believe that you did this to me, Spike. How could you go along with this? Why didn’t you stop me?" She said.

"Well, I was having too much fun." He said softly.

"Oh yeah. Great fun. You can’t kill me, but you can sure mess with my life. You’re sick. All of this just to hurt me."

"That’s not why I did it. Buffy, I guess, part of me just wanted it to be real." He said sadly.

She couldn’t believe her ears. Why would he want this to be real?

"You wanted this to be real?" She asked.

"Yes, Slayer. I love you. As sick and twisted as it sounds, I love you." He said quietly, not actually believing he admitted it to her.

"What? You love me? You mean in the ‘I love to kill you’ kind of way?" She asked dumbfounded.

"No, more like the, ‘I love you so much I want to kill myself’ kind of way." He told her hanging his head in shame.

"What? Did you bump your head too?" She asked.

"No, but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind."

"This is just great. I’m in Vegas, naked with my mortal enemy, a vampire, who now says that he loves me. My life couldn’t be more perfect." She proclaimed loudly to herself.

"Oh and don’t forget that you’re married to that enemy too." He said with a smile.

"Don’t remind me. I need to get out of here. Where are my clothes?" She said searching around.

"Well, I don’t know where your other clothes are, but your wedding dress is over there." He said pointing to the black dress on the floor.

"This is my wedding dress?" She said picking up the black velvet dress. "Black. How fitting." She sighed to herself.

She pulled it on and turned to him. "Well, get dressed. You’re taking me home." She said throwing his pants to him.

"I can’t, dear wife of mine. It’s morning. I can’t go outside now. I’ll turn to dust." He said sarcastically.

"Well, that would certainly solve a lot. Easier than a divorce." She said to him with a wicked smile.

"Right. Forget it. You’ll just have to wait until tonight." He said with a wicked smile of his own.

"This is nuts. I’ll just take a bus. Anything to get out of here." She said grabbing her bag and searching through it for her wallet. She opened it and found it empty.

"Great, I don’t have any money. Spike, I need some money."

"Like I have any money. We spent it all on our glorious wedding and this hotel room." He told her.

"This isn’t happening." She said sadly realizing that she was stuck. "Fine. I’ll wait, but put some clothes on!" She told him noticing again that he was still sitting there naked.

"Afraid you won’t be able to control yourself?" He laughed.

"Hardly. I might throw up." She said trying to convince herself that being with him was revolting when all she really wanted to do was jump back into bed with him.

"Oh, that’s not what you said last night. You know, you really are quite the firecracker in bed." He was enjoying watching her squirm.

"Shut up before I hit you again." She began to remember more clearly what that had done all day yesterday. She remembered how incredible he made her feel. She had never felt such passion for anyone before. Sure, she wasn’t exactly in her right mind at the time, but she couldn’t help but still feel attracted to him.

"Why should I shut up? Is it because you actually enjoyed it?"

"I didn’t enjoy it. It was horrible. You are horrible. I hate you!" She said just a little too loudly.

"I think she protests too much. I think you liked it and I think you like me." He said standing up and walking over to her still not wearing anything.

"I don’t like you. Nobody likes you." She said nervously. He was getting too close to her and she could feel the heat rise in her body.

"Well, you still want me, don’t you?" He said as he put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

"No." She said breathing hard. " I despise you."

"I despise you more, my love." He said kissing her hard.

His lips tasted her sweetness again and he was in heaven once more. She tried in vain to push him away, but her arms were weak with passion. She did want him. She wanted him more than anything else at that moment. She gave in.

They fell back onto the bed again. They stayed there until nightfall.

"This is so wrong." She sighed.

"No it’s not. We’re married, you know." He smiled.

"How am going to explain this one?" She said.

"I don’t know. You can always pretend that you’ve still lost your mind."

"Pretend? I have lost it, Spike." She said looking at him.

"Doesn’t it feel wonderful?" He said as he kissed her.

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