“No,” Theresa trembled. How Kay kept from rolling her eyes, Simone would never know. She knew she wanted to. “It’s fine,” Theresa said. Tugging her sleeve back down. “Really.” “Okay,” Kay laughed. Then you won’t mind if I do this,” she said. Gasping in mock horror at the sight of Theresa’s newly revealed arm. “Why…why…I don’t know what to say,” she said. Wow, Simone thought. Tears. Now who was the drama queen? “Don’t worry, Theresa,” she said in a falsely sympathetic voice. “It won’t always look so…so shriveled up and…it IS deathly pale, isn’t it?”
Fat tears spilled out of Theresa’s big brown eyes. “My life is over!” she shrieked. Rushing through the busy halls. And it had to be said…she was better than a professional hitman. “Maybe I should give her a list of people I don’t like,” Kay muttered. With a self-satisfied smile. “She is SO pathetic. It’s like Armageddon or something ‘cause her freakin arm looks like everybody’s does when they get their casts off. Ugh! I’m telling you, Simone. The girl is mental.”
“Kay Bennett. What have you done now?” Kay groaned and turned around to face the owner of that familiar voice. “Ms. Crane. Who? Me? Why I’m a perfect little angel. I didn’t do anything. I’m so offended,” she sniffled. Squeezing crocodile tears out of the corners of her dark eyes. “Where is she? Kay? Do you have to torture Luis’s sister everyday?” “Why not?” Kay shrugged. “It’s SO much FUN. And it’s Luis, huh? Oh Luis,” she swooned. “Miguel tells me his mom caught you and Luis in bed the other day,” she grinned. Delighted when Ms. Crane blushed a deep red hue.
“Nothing happened,” Sheridan sputtered. Off Kay’s disbelieving look, she groaned in frustration. “We had all our clothes on. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!” she yelled. Kay burst into laughter. “Um…and now everybody knows it. How DO you do it? You’re truly extraordinary,” she smirked. Clapping her hands loudly. “Kay,” Simone hissed. Glancing around the hall. The ENTIRE student body was hanging on their very word. Plus a few nosy teachers. Suzie and Mrs. Croweley to name a couple.
Oh god, she thought to herself. Sheridan…you are in so much trouble. Mrs. Croweley doesn’t like you anyway. Suzie’s going to drive you nuts grilling you for details and telling you how crazy you are. And…ugh! She couldn’t take another tongue-lashing from Pilar. Who knew she had it in her? “Look Ms. Crane…I’m sorry,” Kay apologized. “But really. It’s written all over your face. You…oh my god! You don’t just want Miguel’s brother. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she said in surprise. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” a bubbly voice exclaimed. “Oh, Ms. Crane,” Theresa squealed. Hugging her and squeezing every last drop of oxygen from her lungs. “You have to name your first child after me. The wedding! Oh my goodness! The wedding will be so beautiful. Oh…and Ethan! Ethan will be there!” “Ethan, Ethan, Ethan,” Kay mocked. “Somebody put US and HER out of our misery. She’s like the damn Energizer Bunny.”
“Luis and Ms. Crane are getting married! And Ms. Crane is going to name their first child after me! Isn’t that wonderful?” she gushed. Kay rolled her dark eyes and muttered under her breath to Miguel. “I swear, Miguel…I wouldn’t be surprised if an autopsy revealed what I’ve suspected all along. Theresa has hot pink cotton candy for brains.” Miguel snickered. Rushing forward when he saw his mama raise a hand to her head faintly and stumble slightly. “Sheridan is pregnant?!?!”
“Mama! NO!” Luis said emphatically. “I swear, we didn’t…we didn’t…” “They didn’t do IT, Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald,” Kay piped up. Luis looked to her in shock. How the hell did she know? “Right, Ms. Crane?” she asked. Stepping aside and revealing a flushed cheek Sheridan. Oh god, Sheridan thought. I feel like I’m stuck in an episode of some soap opera. This is worse than an episode of that show on NBC. The hideously addictive one with the doll. So Luis and I haven’t made love. Does the whole world have to talk about it?
“Pilar,” Sheridan said quietly. So quietly Kay had to strain her ears to hear her. And strain her ears she did. This was good stuff. “Luis and I…he just held me. That’s all. NOTHING happened.” Luis released a huge sigh of relief when his mama finally smiled. Whew! They were going to have to be more careful in the future. Didn’t want anybody getting the wrong idea, he thought in disappointment. Remembering how good it felt to hold her warm body close through the night.
“Aunt Sheridan,” a male voice called. Good grief. Perfect recipe for disaster. Barbie wannabe practically vaulted in the air for joy. Her whole face lighting up like a mega-watt bulb when she heard Edumb’s voice. “Wait,” she shrieked. Racing down the hall to her room. “I have to look perfect. Dazzle him. Today might be the day he asks me to…” “THERESITA!!!” Pilar yelled in exasperation. “Hi, Pilar,” Gwen breezed. A teasing smile on her lips as she sashayed in the room and got a good look at Sheridan. Sheridan had told her EVERYTHING. But try as she might…she could NOT imagine Pilar lambasting anybody. Who knew there was a fiery Spanish temper behind the quiet, respectful demeanor?
“Hello, Pilar,” Ethan smiled. Kissing her on the cheek in greeting. And avoiding Luis’s brown eyes. Luis couldn’t wipe the tickled smirk from his face. The memory of Wonder Boy here in a dress, heels, and make-up still fresh in his memory. “Make yourself at home, Mr. Crane,” she said politely. Gesturing for him and Gwen both to take a seat. Gwen…now is not the time, Sheridan thought as Gwen practically chased her into the kitchen. “Sheridan,” Gwen grinned. “What is going on here? Details, details.” Are you sure you weren’t adopted, Gwen? You starting to sound an awful lot like Suzie.
“Spill it,” she said. Cornering her so she wouldn’t have any escape. “Alright,” Sheridan huffed. She had to tell somebody. “Half the student body knows about me and Luis being in bed together.” “What?! How!?” “Kay said something, and I blurted out that we didn’t have sex.” “Oh my god,” Gwen laughed. “How humiliating! I mean…I’m sorry,” she apologized when Sheridan glared at her. “Humiliating is right. And what’s even worse…Mrs. Croweley, the teacher that HATES me…she took great pleasure in reporting the embarrassing incident to Principal Reid. I was so mortified, Gwen. My non-sex life is the talk of the ENTIRE town, it seems,” she groaned. Plopping down tiredly in the nearest chair.
“Sheridan…this is where me and you have to have a talk. What the hell is wrong with you? You have one of the sexiest men in Harmony-probably in all of Maine-at your beck and call. And he just held you. Come on. I know you’re not Mother Theresa. What’s going on here? It’s obvious you like him. A lot, I might add. And…judging from the cute little grin on his face every time he looks at you, Sweetie, he more than likes you. What’s holding you back?”
“Gwen,” Sheridan sighed. Covering her face with her hands. “That’s the hold-up. I DO like him. Maybe too much. I’m afraid, Gwen. I don’t want Jean-Luc to happen all over again. That’s why I’m taking it slow with Luis. No matter how much I want to go in there and…” “Whoa! Wait a minute!” Kay said. Bursting through the door and covering her ears. “Virgin ears here.” Gwen laughed. “I’ll be leaving now,” she announced after getting a soda from the fridge. “Bye.” “Bye,” Gwen and Sheridan waved in unison. “Gwen…I have a BIG problem,” Sheridan admitted as soon as Kay was gone. Or at least they thought she was gone. “I think I’m falling in love with Luis.” “I KNEW IT!” “What am I going to do?” Sheridan said. Hiding her face once more. “What am I going to do?”
“No, I’m not,” Sheridan huffed. “Whatever! Denial ain’t a river in Egypt, Ms. Crane. I heard you with my own two ears.” “So you WERE eavesdropping,” Gwen piped up. Grinning broadly. “Come on, Sheridan. It’s not like it’s that big of a secret.” “Yeah, Ms. Crane,” Kay said devilishly. “You might as well wear a flashing neon sign for all your subtlety.” Gwen snickered. She liked this girl. She had chutzpah.
“Argh!” Sheridan screamed into her hands. “Will this day never end?” “Well…I guess a date’s out of the question,” Luis laughed. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said sheepishly. “I just thought you might want to go grab a bite to eat. Hang out,” he said hopefully. That’s it, Ms. Crane, Kay smirked as the older woman transformed right before their very eyes. Seriously…the woman was melting into a ball of mush. And she had the nerve to deny she was head over heels.
“I…I…” “She’d love to,” Gwen gushed. Shoving her forward into Luis’s arms. Laughing when Kay sent her a thumbs up behind Luis’s back. “Is that right?” Luis grinned. Tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear. His fingers lingering on her soft skin. “Yes,” Sheridan breathed. Helpless to stop herself. You’ll both pay for this later, she thought. Glaring at Gwen and Kay as she followed Luis back into the living room to say their goodbyes.
“So…” Kay smiled. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” she said. Holding out her hand. “I’m Kay Bennett.” “Gwen Hotchkiss,” Gwen smiled. Shaking the teen’s hand. “Has she always been that way?” Kay asked curiously. “No,” Gwen answered thoughtfully. “She’s never had a world of confidence. But she wasn’t always so careful with who she gives her heart to. Guess that’s a product of having your heart trampled on one too many times.” “Man,” Kay whispered. “Makes me feel kinda bad for teasing her.” “Don’t,” Gwen smiled. “She’s needs that little push. I happen to think she and Luis are perfect for each other.”
“Well,” Kay sighed several minutes later. Glancing at her wristwatch. “Nice talking to you. But I have to be getting home. Guess I can’t torment the Fairy Tale Princess anymore tonight,” she said sarcastically. “Theresa?” Gwen laughed. Kay grinned. “A word of warning…the chick is psycho. I’m serious. She hears all these little voices in her head telling her FATE wants her to do all these crazy things. Not to mention she’s an accident waiting to happen. She’s singlehandedly taken 23 people out of commission this year alone. Last year the total was…um, 147. I think she’s subconsciously shooting for a new record. Run! Now! And take Dopey with you. Theresa’s more twisted than color tv,” she said in parting. Gwen was rendered speechless.
“Hi, Ms. Crane! Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald!” Luis groaned inwardly. “Reese,” Sheridan smiled. “What a pleasant surprise.” Reese grinned at her and pushed his glasses back further on his nose unconsciously. “So…it’s true,” Reese said with a knowing smile. “You two ARE hot and heavy.” Reese didn’t have time to duck before Sheridan spit her soda out in shock. Luis couldn’t control his laughter. Reese took his glasses off. Squinting. And cleaned the dark liquid off his lenses. “Oh Reese,” Sheridan apologized. “I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay,” Reese waved her off. Beating a path out of there. “Luis! You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“It’s one of the things I lo…like about you,” he quickly amended. Sheridan’s heart leapt to her throat. Did he…was he about to say…”Oh,” she said softly. “Come on,” Luis said suddenly. Slapping a few bills down on the table and grabbing her hand. Pulling her forward. “Luis? Where are we going?” she asked. Out of breath from trying to keep up with his long stride. “The park? Luis…why the park?” “Shh,” Luis said. His voice laced with amusement. Placing a finger on her lips. “I…” “Sheridan. Just trust me. Okay?” “Okay,” she said softly. Nodding her head. The Lighthouse. He’s taking me to the Lighthouse, she realized with a smile. Following him as he led her up the winding stairs. “Luis,” she gasped when they reached the top, and she saw the crests of the waves. The sun setting in the horizon. “It’s so beautiful,” she said in awe. “Yeah…it is,” Luis breathed. Not taking his eyes off her. “Thank you for bringing me here,” she said. Turning to face him. Laughing as the wind whipped her hair about her face. Her laughter died in her throat when she saw the way he was looking at her. “I’m going to kiss you now, Sheridan. Is that alright?’ Alright? Alright! Do you even have to ask? Please do, she thought. The blood rushing in her ears as she opened her mouth to say…
“Yes,” she said breathlessly. After another mind-blowing kiss. From yours truly. That’s it, Sheridan. Admit defeat. You ARE falling in love with the man. And there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Luis laughed at the expression on her face. “Speechless again.” “Argh!” she screamed in frustration. “You love torturing me, don’t you?” “Why yes, I do,” he teased. “You are too easy,” he chuckled. Wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. “Why did you bring me here, Luis?” ehe asked curiously. Several minutes later. Nestled safely in his arms. “I wanted to show you something that I love. Help you get to know me better.” A smile played on her lips as she said, “Tell me more about yourself, Luis.” I want to know everything, she thought. But didn’t say. “Well…” he laughed. “I’ve lived in Harmony my entire life. With my family. I went to Harmony High. Did reasonably well.” “Reasonably well,” she scoffed. “Luis…I work at Harmony High now. I’ve seen all the trophies and plaques with your name on them. Reasonably well my ass.” “And what a fine one it is…ouch…sorry. You set yourself up for that one,” he laughed. Resting his chin atop her head. And staring out at the ocean below.
“What do you want in life, Luis?” “The same things everybody wants, I guess,” he sighed. “A house of my own one day. Filled with children,” he grinned. “And a beautiful wife who loves me just as much as I love her. There’s more, of course. But you get the picture. And you? What do you want out of life, Sheridan?” The same things as you. “A family of my own. Love,” she said wistfully. “That’s all?” “That’s all,” she said softly. Pinning him with her blue gaze. “Why so surprised, Luis? All I want are the simple things. I’d give every cent of the money I have up for the happiness I’ve dreamed of my whole life. Every cent.”
“You would, wouldn’t you?” he asked. Cupping her jaw in the palm of his hand. And coming to a not-so-surprising realization. The funny feeling he got in his chest…the way his heart literally soared at the sight of her beautiful smile…it was the beginnings of love. “Yes,” she said simply. Her eyes fluttering shut as he leaned closer and closer. Sighing with pleasure when his lips touched hers gently. His fingers threaded through her hair. In a heartbeat, she thought. Sinking deeper into him. In a heartbeat.
WHAT are you talking about? “Ethan? Theresa,” she sighed. “Ethan’s 24 years old. I’m sure the LAST thing he wants to do is attend a HIGH SCHOOL Homecoming dance. Besides…what about Gwen?” Theresa just giggled. “Gwen’s not invited, Whitney. This is MY night. She’ll…she’ll just have to get over it.” “I don’t know why I even bother,” Whitney groaned. “You’re hopeLESS.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Kay smirked. Popping up from out of nowhere and making Whitney jump. “You know, Whitney. I always did wonder how you’ve stood her this long. Aren’t you afraid for your life?” Kay said. Cringing as Theresa shoved the girls’ bathroom door open. Totally catching Jenn off-guard. “Oh my god! Oh my god! My nose!” she screamed in horror. “You broke it, dimtwit! Amy warned me about you,” she glared. Moaning pitifully. And hurrying down the hall to the nurse’s station. Her nose high in the air.
“I’m sorry,” Theresa said sheepishly. “Did you see that, Whit? I didn’t break her nose. She walked into the door all by herself,” she said with wide brown eyes. “Puh-leaze,” Kay rolled her eyes. “If you’ll excuse me. I’m not wearing the proper protective gear,” she deadpanned. Maybe you’re on to something, Kay, Whitney thought. This time Theresa plowed poor Principal Reid over. “Um…Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald,” he stammered. “I’ll be on my way now.” Theresa, she wanted to say. Even the Principal’s afraid of you. It was a lost cause. You know…in one ear. Out the other. Or maybe it got lost in what was apparently vacuous space.
“Hey, Whitney,” she heard a voice call. “Your pops is looking for ya,” Chad grinned. “Says it’s important.” Thank you, she said. Lifting her eyes skyward. Even SHE needed a break sometime. “Thanks, Chad,” she smiled. Chad’s eyes followed her form until she disappeared through the doors at the end of the hall. “Oh…oh…oh,” Theresa squealed excitedly. Jumping up and down. “I know that look,” she gushed. “You’re in love with Whitney, aren’t you, Chad? This is so wonderful! We’ll have a double wedding! No…wait…make that a triple wedding. I just KNOW Luis is going to marry Ms. Crane!,” she bubbled.
What the @!#$%^@?!?! Chad didn’t know it was possible for someone’s face to be so…animated. “Girl…what are you smokin’? ‘Cause it must be some pretty good stuff.” “Huh?” Theresa asked cluelessly. Then continued. Full steam ahead. “Theresa! Theresa! Slow down. Take a breath. I’m…not…in…love…with…Whitney,” he said slowly. “Girl…you are TOO much,” he grinned. Theresa’s brown eyes widened. “Oh, Chad. I had no idea you felt that way about me,” she said. Laying a gentle hand on his arm. “But Chad…the ONLY man for me is Ethan. I’ll just die without him. I’m so sorry to break your heart like this. But it’s better you know now,” she said. Before leaving him there with his mouth hanging wide open. He chuckled under his breath. Priceless.
“Hi, Chad,” Ms. Crane said brightly. Passing him in the hall. “You are never going to believe this,” she laughed. “Jenn Foster had to drop out of the Homecoming race because she broke her nose.” Wonder how she got that, Chad wondered. Grinning despite his best efforts not to. “Too bad. Good thing she didn’t see the results yet. She won. But…her loss is Theresa’s gain.” “Man,” Chad laughed. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” “Uh huh,” Ms. Crane laughed. Her blue eyes sparkling. “It’s really amazing. Theresa had the second largest number of votes. 289 of them. Everyone else is too close to call. Won’t she be surprised? See you later, Chad. Mr. Reid wanted me to announce these over the intercom.” Surprised. Hah! The girl was going to go crazy. Although…it could be debated that she was already halfway (who was he kidding? she WAS there) there. No debate needed, he realized minutes later when the results were announced. And the ONLY sound heard was Theresa’s voice. “YES! YES! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR VOTING FOR ME! YOU PICKED THE BEST PERSON FOR THIS PRESTIGIOUS HONOR!” Followed shortly by a voice distinctly Kay’s. “I GIVE UP! HARMONY REALLY IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE!”
“Sheridan,” Pilar said gravely. “Is what Theresita says true? Did she REALLY win Homecoming Queen?” “Mama,” Theresa squealed. Grabbing Pilar’s arm and squeezing the circulation out of it. “Don’t you believe me? I would NEVER lie to you.” Kay smirked when Ms. Crane’s golden brows shot up comically. “Yeah…like I believe THAT for a millisecond,” she muttered under her breath. “It’s true, Mama,” Miguel answered for her. “I saw the results myself,” Ms. Crane smiled nervously. Pilar’s arm almost looked…blue. “Well…I guess she does need a dress to wear. Are you sure…” “Pilar,” Ms. Crane said warmly. Practically wrenching Pilar’s arm from Theresa’s grasp and holding her hands in her own. “They won’t mind. They’d love to help out.” “Maybe Theresita should stay here. And you can pick something out for her.” Not a bad idea, Sheridan thought. It WOULD be safer that way. Against her better judgment, though, she said, “It wouldn’t be as special,” she said. Cringing inside when Theresa jumped for joy. What was she getting herself into?
“Wouldn’t be as special, huh?” Kay grumbled. “I’m NOT sitting in back with her again. Miguel…you do it.” Miguel grinned at them. “Can’t. Football practice. Other plans.” “Ugh! You! You’ll regret this,” Kay muttered. Stomping her foot in disgust. “Kay,” Ms. Crane placated. “She can sit in the back by herself.” “I’m ready, Ms. Crane,” Theresa gushed. A huge bag slung over her slender shoulder. “Um…Theresa? What’s with the bag?” “Oh, this?” Theresa smiled. “That’s my make-up bag. I have to do the full make-up to get the full effect. Don’t you think?”
O..k..a..y, Sheridan thought to herself. “Psycho Revlon Reject. No wonder she sleeps all the time in Lit class. Her eyelids are too heavy. Come on,” Kay encouraged. “You know you want to laugh. Go ahead and do it. She’ll never know you’re laughing AT her.” Sheridan bit her lip to the point of pain trying not to. But she couldn’t help the burst of hysterical laughter that blind-sided her when she saw Theresa gagging in the rear view mirror. “Hey Theresa,” Kay sneered. “You really should try out for the next Survivor. God knows you’ve eaten enough bugs today alone,” she finished. Mumbling under her breath.
“Would you look at her? Skipping. I think Pilar dropped her on her head when she was a baby.” “Kay,” Sheridan said. Shaking her head. “Never mind,” she said quickly. In what must have surely been a once in a lifetime occurrence, Julian had answered the door. And he was currently leering outrageously at Theresa. “Something about you looks familiar,” he grinned. “Julian,” Sheridan warned in a low voice. “This is Theresa. She’s a STUDENT at Harmony High.” “Jailbait,” Kay piped up. “Catwoman,” he exclaimed in shock. “Catwoman?” Kay mouthed. “Long story that I am NOT telling you,” Sheridan said. Ushering her inside.
“Theresa! Are you okay?” “Wow,” Kay said sarcastically. “What is that? A 2 second record?” “I’m alright, Ms. Crane. Really I am. I was just…” Looking at that new picture of Ethan. And Gwen. “Gwitch,” Theresa said in a low growl. “What did you say?” Sheridan asked incredulously. It sounded like one of two things. Neither of them good. “Oh, nothing, Ms. Crane,” Theresa said all doe-eyed. “My arm still itches sometimes,” she supplied. Frantically clawing at her arm. “Um…Theresa,” Kay smirked. “Wrong arm there, Einstein.:” “Ow. I’m going to report you to the proper authorities. Seems you take great pleasure in causing me physical harm.” “You wouldn’t dare,” Sheridan bluffed. Blue eyes flashing. “Would I?” Kay teased. Dark eyes sparkling with mischief. “AH!!!” “Theresa!” they exclaimed in unison.
“Ms. Crane,” she heard the younger girl call out in a voice filled with irritation. Peeking her dark head out the door. “You better come quick. The Terror has struck again.” “Terror?” Gwen laughed. “Where do you come up with this stuff?” “Dunno,” Kay shrugged. Stepping into the room. “Wow!” Gwen breathed. “I think you should pick that one. You’re going to knock some lucky guy’s socks off.” “Really?” Kay asked. Twirling around self-consciously in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of the room. “Really,” Gwen said. “In fact…I think I have the perfect earrings to go with that dress,” she said. Walking over to Ethan’s armoire and rifling through a small jewelry box on the top. “Here,” she smiled. Presenting the pair of earrings to Kay. Kay snatched them greedily from her hands and fastened them on her earlobes. “You’re right. They ARE perfect. Thanks,” she smiled.
“What’s going on in there?” Gwen said with a nod of her head. “Oh,” Kay groaned. Throwing herself on the bed beside Gwen. “Spinderella ripped one of those expensive gowns in two. Can you believe her? She stepped into the dress-didn’t bother slipping it over her head-and ripped it down the middle. Did I mention she’s a klepto, too? Yeah…the klepto klutz. Keeps stuffing little ‘mementos’ into that two-ton make-up suitcase of hers.” Gwen snickered helplessly. “Stop. Stop. I can’t hear anymore of this. I’m never going to be able to look into her eyes again.” “She HATES you, you know. Thinks of you as an obstacle in the way of her destiny. Which according to Termite is to marry Ethan, suck him dry, and have a mansion full of filthy bubble-brained kids.” “It’s just a crush,” Gwen sighed. “Whatever,” Kay muttered. Either this chick was blind. Or she was way confident in Forrest Junior’s wuv.
“Sheridan,” Gwen said in a relieved voice. “Everything okay?” Sheridan sighed and plopped herself down on the bed between Gwen and Kay. “Well…Amanda didn’t like those dresses too much anyway.” Gwen arched a brow at her curiously. “Destroyed. Completely and utterly destroyed,” Sheridan informed her. “Where IS Ethan, by the way?” she asked. Resting her weary blond head on Gwen’s shoulder. “At the office. He should be here by now…Ethan,” she said happily. Jumping to her feet and hugging his neck. “How was your day? How was work?” “Okay,” Ethan grumbled. “Aunt Sheridan? Why are you,” he paused. Casting a wary glance Kay’s way. He couldn’t quite pinpoint it. It was all a little too foggy. But he seemed to remember something to do with her, a camera, and red high heels. “What are you doing here?”
“Ethan!” Theresa squealed. Sprinting…well, Theresa fashion, of course-through the open door. Arms wide open. “Does he look like a deer caught in the headlights or what?” Kay smirked. “I bet his feeble brain is sending off signals to run.” “Theresa,” Ethan said slowly. Catching her before she fell. “Figures,” Kay mumbled. Sometimes I wonder…nah. NO ONE would purposely act THAT stupid for an imbecile like HIM. “Oh, Ethan,” Theresa bubbled. “It’s FATE. You caught me. You’re my hero.” “Ugh!” Kay groaned. Rolling her eyes. “Girlfriend standing right here.” Theresa ignored her. Staring at Ethan dreamily. “Somebody get her into therapy. NOW,” she hissed. Stalking out of the room. “I can’t watch any more of this.” I don’t think I can fight the urge to slap some sense into her any longer. “Theresa,” Sheridan said. Trying desperately to interrupt the weird moment. Could she be anymore obvious? If she were Gwen…Well. You’re not Gwen, Sheridan. Oh god. Did Ethan HAVE to be so clueless? “Theresa,” she repeated again. “I think that dress looks lovely. You should definitely pick that one. What do you think, Gwen?”
“Definitely,” Gwen said in a low voice. Studying Ethan curiously. “Do YOU like it, Ethan?” Theresa asked demurely. Ha! Demurely? “Y-Y-Y-esss,” he stammered. “It looks very…you look nice,” he gulped. “Oh thank you!” Theresa gushed happily. “Then you WILL be my date for the Homecoming Dance. Ethan, you’ve made me SSSSOOOO happy,” she twittered. Skipping…more like tripping-down the hall. Argh, Kay thought. Dodging her and glaring at Mr. Crane as he leered at Theresa. “What are you looking at, you dirty old man?” she sneered. Theresa did have her dress tucked into her pantyhose But still... Sticking her tongue out at him. “Ugh! The nerve!” she exclaimed. Appalled when he stuck his tongue back at her. “Take my advice,” she whispered in Gwen’s ear. “Dump him. NOW. I have the PERFECT man for you.”
“Here she comes,” Kay whispered. “Miss Air-head America,” she crooned. “She probably voted for herself 289 times. No one I’ve talked to has admitted to voting for her. They’re all afraid of her. I bet you twenty bucks she hyperventilates when they crown her at the game tonight. If I were you, Simone…just bring a helmet. You might need it,” Kay laughed evilly. “I know I’m bringing mine. See you later, Simone. I have something very important I have to do,” she said. Walking down the hall to meet Miguel. Simone sighed when Kay’s face fell upon seeing Charity. Her best friend was going to get her heart broken. Those two…you never saw one without the other. Especially lately. She pulled her French book out of her locker and headed on to class. Smiling at Ms. Crane in the doorway.
“Miguel,” Kay smiled. Totally ignoring Charity. “I was wondering…you know how we always go to the Homecoming Dance together…” Miguel grinned at her, and Kay felt her heart flutter in her chest. “Do you want me to…” “Sure, Kay,” Miguel interrupted. “You and your date can meet me and Charity at my house. I taking Charity to meet Mama.” “I’d love it if you and Reese came with us, Kay,” Charity said sweetly. “You two make such an adorable couple.” “Reese,” Kay choked. “Yes, my Sugar Plum,” Reese said on cue. Scaring her out of her wits when he wrapped his arms around her. “Ow,” she grumbled. Rubbing her head. “I can’t wait. You’re going to be so beautiful, my Darling Kay,” Reese grinned. Leaning forward for a kiss. “Aww,” Charity sighed. Kay had the sudden urge to hurl. “Reese,” she warned. Holding a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m coming down with something. Don’t want to give you my germs,” she said. Rushing off to French class. She really was going to be sick. Miguel and…Pollyanna?
“Kay,” Ms. Crane said softly. Taking her aside halfway after class. “Are you feeling okay? You haven’t said one word the entire period.” “Oh yeah,” Kay muttered. “I…you wouldn’t understand. You got the guy you want eating out of the palm of your hand. Mine doesn’t even know I’m a girl. Or that I have a pulse.” “Kay,” Sheridan said gently. “That’s not true. Miguel most definitely knows you’re alive. And that you’re a girl. He just…he just sees you as a friend. His best friend. He still loves you.” “Not the way I want him to,” Kay whispered. Sheridan hugged Kay’s shoulders. “Miguel isn’t the ONLY boy on the planet. You have lots of guys interested in you, Kay Bennett. You’re just too focused on Miguel to see it. And you have one very, very sweet guy in particular at your beck and call.” “Reese?” Kay scoffed. “Too Urkel-ish.” Sheridan laughed. “Reese is not that bad. He adores you, and he has a good heart. He does go a little overboard,” she admitted. “But I think if you gave him half a chance…Kay…just know he isn’t always going to be there. Don’t be so quick to push him away. You’ll never find out how wonderful he can be,” she said. Jessica’s face in her mind’s eye. She gave Kay a friendly pat on the shoulder. “I have to go make a phone call. Think about what I said. Okay?” “Okay,” Kay grumbled. “Reese? Ms. Crane…you’re so twitterpated you can’t see straight,” she mumbled. Grabbing her book bag and rushing out the door.
“AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” Oh great. As if my day could get any worse. “Oh my goodness! I broke a nail!” Theresa shrieked in sheer panic. “This is all you fault,” she cried. Trembling at the horror of it all. “I have to look perfect for Ethan tonight. And now I won’t,” she wailed. Good grief, she thought. An evil idea forming in her head. “Theresa,” she said in a falsely sweet voice. Barely containing the urge to shudder. All she needed now was a lollipop to stick in her mouth. “Don’t cry. It’s alright. How can Ethan not think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world? ‘Cause we all know it’s true, don’t we?” Theresa’s face brightened into a ridiculous smile as she nodded her head. The rollers in her hair bobbing up and down. “And you know what? Don’t worry about the chipped fingernail. EVERYBODY wants to be like you, Theresa. BE you. You’ll start a new trend. Come on,” she said. Offering her a hand. “I’ll help you fix your make-up. You don’t want everybody to see you looking like a raccoon, do you?” Theresa jutted out her lower lip and shook her head. Taking Kay’s hand. “There, there,” Kay said softly. Rolling her eyes as she led Theresa inside Ms. Crane’s empty classroom.
Ten minutes later, she leaned back on her heels. Pleased as punch at her work of art. She slyly slipped the blue, red, and black permanent markers back in her book bag. “I’m finished,” she announced. “You can open your eyes now, Theresa.” She always did think Theresa would make a good clown. She already had the bumbling part down. “How do I look?” Theresa bubbled. Her smile making her look all the more absurd. “Fantastic, Darling,” Kay drawled. “The envy of the entire school.” “Oh, thank you!” Theresa giggled. Throwing her arms around Kay’s neck exuberantly. Oh, you’ll be thanking me alright, Theresita, Kay thought. Biting her lip to keep from laughing. Ah. I needed that, she thought. Jumping down from Ms. Crane’s desk. Scribbling a quick note she knew would make Ms. Crane blush a deep red as soon as she saw it. She threw her head back in the air and cackled deviously. The woman might just have a heart attack. Maybe she should…nah. Where was the fun in that? Ms. Crane was strong. She could handle it. She’d just have to hope she wouldn’t kill her before the Dance. Miguel…eat your heart out, she thought with a smile. She was going to show him. And by the end of the night…he’d leave sweet little Chwarity flat on her face.
“The reason she can’t be a chaperone at the Homecoming Dance.” “Because…” “Mom,” Kay said sweetly. “They already have enough chaperones. Don’t they, Uncle Hank? That’s what they told you when you volunteered.” “What the…um…yeah. That’s EXACTLY what they told me, Grace. And I’m sure Sam wants all that DEE-LIC-EEOUS tomato soup cake to himself. Right, Bro?” Hank grinned wickedly. Slapping Sam’s shoulder on the way out the door and ignoring the daggers his big brother was shooting his way. “Wait up, you guys,” Jessica called. Scurrying out the front door. “You forgot me,” she mumbled. Racing to catch up to the trio.
“You owe me big time,” Hank said as he strode alongside the two girls. Jessica nipping at his heels. “Come on, Uncle Hank,” Kay grinned. “I think YOU owe ME.” Hank stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and looked at her curiously. Kay groaned. “Which is worse? Your autopsy reading death by tomato soup or spending a few hours with a bunch of hormonal teens? Besides,” she grinned. “I have someone very special I want you to meet.” Hank’s brown eyes lit up with interest. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Is it a woman?” Kay rolled her eyes. “Who did you think I wanted you to meet? Yeah, it’s a woman. Never mind. I understand. Poor little Uncle Hanky hasn’t been on a date for a very, very long time,” she teased. “I’ve been on dates,” Hank blustered. But Kay wasn’t buying it. “Don’t worry, Uncle Hank,” Jessica said sweetly. “We all know you’re a great guy,” she consoled. “Stop…” “We’re here,” Kay breezed. Knocking on the Lopez-Fitzgeralds’ door.
“Come in,” Luis said distractedly. Tugging at the neck of his suit shirt in annoyance. “Whoa, Luis! Going all out, Buddy. For a Homecoming Dance?” “He wants to look nice for Ms. Crane,” Theresa sniffled. Hank did a double take. Kay couldn’t fight the gigantic smile that tugged at the corners of her lips when she saw Theresa and was reminded of the fiasco at the game earlier in the evening. There Theresa was. Bubbling with excitement. Practically jumping up and down, in fact. When Mr. Crane announced her as this year’s Homecoming Queen. And made a FATEful slip-up. Calling her Ms. Tammy Faye…er, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald as last year’s queen crowned her. Theresa stopped mid-hyperventilation. Her brown eyes widening like saucers. And promptly passed out when she saw her reflection in her trophy. “Why the funeral shroud? Is that like a new thing at these shindigs?”
Simone and Kay burst into raucous laughter, and Luis couldn’t help but smirk at his best friend’s remark. Pilar threw her hands up in the air. “MIJA! It’s not that bad. Really. The lights in the Youth Center will be dim and…” Whitney stared at her feet. She didn’t want to give Kay the satisfaction of seeing her smile. The doorbell rang again, and Kay threw the door open. Certain she would come face to face with Miguel. All decked out. Instead she saw…REESE. “These are for you,” he grinned. His glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. She took the crumpled bouquet from his hands and handed it to Jessica. “Thank you,” she said between clenched teeth. “Jessica…put those in some water for me. Reese, you didn’t have to,” she said. Cringing as her eyes took him in. In all his powder blue glory. Great, she thought. He plucked those flowers right out of Mrs. Doolittle’s front yard. And…this was the real kicker…he looked like Brainy Smurf.
“Knock, knock,” a voice called from behind him. And Kay smirked when Luis nearly killed Reese in order to reach Ms. Crane’s side. “Wow,” he mumbled in disbelief. “Wow…you look…you look…” “Good grief!” Kay exclaimed. Crossing her arms across her middle. “Spit it out! She looks like a million bucks. That’s what you wanted to say. Right?” Sheridan’s lips twisted into a smile as she smoothed her hands down the skirt of her dress. “You look beautiful,” Luis whispered in her ear. Placing a gentle kiss on her cheek and making her shiver in delight. “How did you ever find a dress to match the color of your eyes?” Kay held a finger to her throat and pretended to gag. “Real original, Buddy,” Hank laughed. “Like you haven’t used that li…Hello,” he whistled. “Who is that?”
Sheridan gave him a funny look. “I hope you don’t mind, Luis. I brought Ethan with me. And Gwen took your advice. She volunteered to be a chaperone at the dance tonight.” Ethan produced another bouquet of roses. This time pink roses. “These are for Theresa. Where is she?” “I’ll go get her,” Whitney volunteered. “Kay,” Simone whispered. “Ms. Hotchkiss is definitely checking your uncle out.” “Yeah…she is, isn’t she?” Kay smirked. “I knew she wasn’t completely stupid. Chalk her being with Ethan up to temporary insanity, Simone. Looks like Phase I of my plan is off to a great start.” “OH, ETHAN!” Theresa said breathlessly. Momentarily forgetting her woeful appearance, she raced across the room and launched herself into Ethan’s arms. Oblivious of her audience. Oblivious? Ha! Well…the point could be argued she was ALWAYS oblivious. “You look so handsome!” she gushed. And nervous. And fumbling. And like a dumbass, Kay’s brain supplied. Where was Miguel? “Miguel just called. He said he and Charity would meet you at the dance. Now hurry along,” Pilar smiled. “They’re waiting for you.” Oh yeah, Kay thought. Slipping out of Reese’s reach. This party was off to a great start already. Well…she’d just have to fix that, wouldn’t she?
“Oh Miguel,” Charity sighed. “Thank you so much for inviting me. I’ve never been to a dance before,” she said shyly. “You’re welcome,” Miguel smiled. “I wouldn’t want to ask anyone but you.” “Gag me,” Kay grumbled. Watching the pair in disgust from a dimly lit corner of the Youth Center. “I feel like I’m stuck in a Leave it to Beaver nightmare.” She adjusted the spaghetti straps of her gown. So far things were NOT going as planned. Not at all. However…it was kinda fun watching her uncle make a play for Ethan Crane’s girlfriend. Oh boy did he need help, she thought.
“So…,” Hank grinned. A sparkle in his brown eyes. “Would the lady like to dance?” Gwen fought the uncontrollable urge to laugh. “In these heels?” she smirked. She might as well have been Lady Liberty. She towered above the guy. “Are you calling me short?” Hank gasped in mock offense. Gwen let loose a very unlady-like snort. “Short doesn’t even begin to describe it. But I have to give you credit where credit is due. You’re persistent. Alright. I’ll dance with you if you promise you’ll stop hounding me about it.” Hank grabbed her by the waist and twirled her out into the dance floor. “Ready Ginger?”
“Yo, Whitney.” Whitney’s brown eyes lit up, and Theresa gave her a very knowing smile. “Theresa…don’t you even say it. Don’t you dare,” Whitney warned. Before turning around. “Hi, Chad,” she said demurely. Chad held his hand out. “Luis is taking care of things while I take a break. What do you say? Dance with me?” “I…I don’t know,” Whitney said uncertainly. Her eyes darting around the room. What if Simone saw her? “She’d love to,” Theresa bubbled. Shoving Whitney forward. Chad caught her by the waist, and Whitney lost herself in his eyes. “Um…we better go dance now,” Chad whispered.
“Jessica…have you seen my Sugar Dumpling?” Jessica’s blue eyes twinkled as she fixed Reese’s crooked bow tie. “I think she went to the ladies’ room.” “Oh,” Reese nodded. “She must really have to go. This is her 5th glass of punch,” he said. Eyes comically wide behind the black frames of his glasses. “That’s a lot of punch,” he laughed. Jessica smiled at him. Her 5th glass. Kay had yet to take a single sip of punch tonight. That was just an excuse to avoid the awkward boy in front of her. “Forget the punch, Reese,” she said. Taking the glass from his hands and setting it on the table beside her. “Let’s have fun.”
“Oh my god,” Sheridan giggled as she watched Reese and Jessica out on the dance floor. If that was Kay…Kay would crawl under the nearest rock and die. Where was Kay? Kay was forgotten as soon as she felt his breath on her neck. “How would you like to show them how it’s done?” She twisted around in his arms and floored him with a brilliant smile. “A little salsa…a little rumba…maybe even a tango or two.” “Luis,” she whispered. Batting her lashes at him playfully. Toying with the collar of his shirt. That simple touch electrifying his senses. “We can’t do that,” she laughed. “We’re the chaperones. And besides…I don’t think I can control myself once I’m in your arms. Strange things happen to me.” “Oh really?” he said with the utmost interest. Wrapping his arms around her waist. “What kind of things?”
“Get a room, why don’t you?” Kay rolled her eyes in passing. Sheridan’s cheeks flushed bright red when she spotted Suzie across the Youth Center. Giving her a thumbs up sign. Then she laid eyes on Theresa and Ethan. “Theresa seems to have forgotten all about the little ‘incident’,” she said in wonderment. Luis followed her gaze to the couple on the dance floor. His little sister was all over Ethan Crane. He shook his head. As far as Theresa was concerned, nothing else mattered. Ethan Crane was her whole world. Who really cared if she looked like the Grim Reaper’s bride? Come to think of it…his little sister kinda reminded of a certain killer doll with her makeover. “I can’t believe Gwen’s taking this so…so calmly.” “Ms. Crane,” Luis laughed heartily. Crooking his finger out in front of him. “I’d say Gwen is otherwise occupied.” Sheridan gasped for air between belly laughs. “Oh he’s bad. So bad,” she wheezed as she watched Hank trample on Gwen’s feet. “Looks like they’re giving Reese and Jessica a run for their money. Some party, huh?” “Some party,” Luis smiled. His eyes never leaving her. Some party indeed.