“So,” Kay teased. “What do you think?” “About what?” Gwen huffed. Rubbing her sore feet. “Ouch! I think my toes are broken.” Kay cackled deviously. “You know…” “No, I don’t know,” Gwen grumbled. But Kay didn’t miss the tiny smile. The twinkle in her eye. “Yes, you do. Tell me. Have I succeeded? Have I cured you from your bout of temporary insanity? Come on,” Kay whined. “He’s…he’s an uncoordinated goof. But…he’s kinda cute,” she admitted grudgingly. Kay flashed her a mega-watt smile. “Cute,” Hank whispered to himself. “Brad Pitt cute? Ben Affleck cute? Say it. You think I’m drop-dead gorgeous.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “Puppy dog cute,” she smirked. Hank’s mouth hung open. “Puppy…puppy dog cute? You think I look like Lassie?” Gwen hobbled over to the refreshment table. “No,” she grinned. “What’s the name of that dog in that movie with Tom Hanks? Him. You definitely look like him.” Kay smiled. Way to burst Uncle Hank’s bubble, Gwen.

She poured herself a glass of punch and scanned the dance floor. Jessica and Reese were still at it. Good. Little sisters were good for something, after all. She didn’t want Reese stuck to her like flypaper. “Oh! Kay! Why aren’t you out there dancing?” Kay bit her lip to stop from shouting what she really wanted to say. ‘Because you’ve suddenly become Miguel’s Siamese twin!’ “Um…Reese is a little bit busy right now,” she said sadly. Staring at her feet. She heard Charity whisper something to Miguel. And she had to bite her lip to contain her grin when she felt Miguel’s hand on her shoulder. “Kay? Kay, would you like to dance?” Yes! Yes! I’d like to dance! “You don’t have to dance with me because you feel sorry for me, Miguel. I’m okay. Really.” “Kay Bennett…I didn’t ask you because I felt sorry for you. I asked you because I want to.” Her dark eyes sparkled at him. And if Miguel hadn’t inherited ALL the stupid genes Theresa didn’t have, he would have seen once and for all that his best buddy loved him. It was like a flashing neon sign. Kay took Miguel’s hand with a sigh. Oh well…nobody ever said she loved Miguel for his I.Q.

“Dance with me.” Whitney’s head snapped around, she found herself staring into the blue eyes of none other than Chris Hall. “Excuse me?” “I said dance with me,” he repeated. Pulling her free from Chad’s arms. Whitney jerked her arm free and glared at him. “No thank you,” she spat. “I already have a wonderful partner,” she said. Smiling rather shyly at Chad. “You heard the lady,” Chad smirked. Pushing Chris backwards. “She don’t want to dance.” Whitney sighed in relief when Chad led her away. To a quiet corner. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome,” Chad grinned. “Hey…would you like something to drink? I’ll be right back.” Whitney’s eyes were glued on his every move as he walked away, and she sighed happily and closed her eyes. Maybe…

“OH WHIT! IT’S SO WONDERFUL! ETHAN IS SUCH A GOOD DANCER! I CAN’T WAIT TO DANCE WITH HIM AT OUR WEDDING!” Whitney’s eyes popped open, and she groaned in frustration. The whole school didn’t just hear that. Did they? “Theresa…Honey…do you have to be so…” “So what, Whit? In love? Lucky? Gorgeous?” she giggled. Whitney bit her lip to the point of pain. Gorgeous? Ha! Her best friend kind of reminded of a toy soldier at this moment. She remembered the glee in Kay’s eyes at the game earlier when half of Harmony had been scared out of their wits. She was sure…”WHITNEY! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!”

“Look…Ethan…just a word of advice,” Luis said. “A word of what?” Ethan grinned stupidly. Luis shook his head. Maybe Theresa wasn’t so far off the mark. Maybe the terrible F-word was working its magic. “Luis,” Sheridan rolled her eyes. “Don’t even think that.” “W-W-hat?” “Nevermind,” she smiled. Blue eyes twinkling in amusement. “Leave him alone,” she whispered in his ear. “Roger decided he liked Theresa more.” “Roger? Who’s Roger?” “Ethan’s brain cell,” Sheridan said blithely. Giggling when Luis gave her a ‘what the hell?’ look. “You heard me right. Ethan’s brain cell is now taking up residence in your sister’s fantasy-filled head. Do you think I should tell Gwen?” Luis started choking on his own laughter. And Ethan’s absentminded “Are you okay?” didn’t help much. Especially when he walked across the dance floor like a horror-flick zombie. With a silly grin on his face. “Do you think we should tell Gwen?” Sheridan laughed as they watched Ethan lift the black veil from Theresa’s painted face. “I DO! I DO!” Theresa squealed. Jumping up and down. “I don’t think we have to. He didn't scream. It MUST be love."

“LUIS,” Sheridan shouted over the music. Very loudly. “I LOVE DANCING WITH YOU. IT’S SO MUCH FUN!” Luis gave her another one of his breathtaking grins. And Sheridan couldn’t help it. “YOU’RE TOO DAMN SEXY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, OFFICER!” Kay burst into hysterical laughter in Miguel’s arms. “Oh god,” she groaned. “Theresa’s rubbing off on her. You know. Kind of like poison oak.” Miguel laughed with her. Charity smiled tightly at them both from the sidelines.

“Jessica? Have you seen My Sunshine?” Jessica rolled her eyes behind Reese’s back. His Sunshine? Boy did her sister have Reese fooled! “Uh…uh…” “I SEE HER!” he grinned. Jessica tripped over her skirt as he pulled her back out onto the dance floor. She blushed a deep crimson color when he started flailing his arms around and shaking his derriere to the music. “Reese!” He looked like he needed a lifeguard, she thought with a laugh. He was drowning.

“Luis,” Sheridan growled. Wrapping her arms around him and pressing herself against him more fully. “DANCE FOR ME, BABY!” Luis’s brown eyes about popped out of their sockets at her next move. She didn’t. She did! “Sheridan,” he stammered. “Did you just…” “Squeeze your ass-ets?” she teased. Golden brow arched at him playfully. Luis stopped her roving hands as they traveled down his chest. Loosening buttons on the way. “In front of the whole…” She cut him off with the kiss to end all kisses. “School,” he gasped. “What’s got into you tonight?” “Hmm. You like?” Sheridan purred.

Whitney laughed. Embarrassed for her. “Man,” Chad chuckled. “Hey Ms. Crane! This dance is strictly PG-13!” Chad pretended to be hurt when Whitney slapped his chest in embarrassment. “OW! What was that for? She’s going to want to hide beneath the nearest rock tomorrow, and you know it.” “CHAD! There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Simone gushed. “Thanks for keeping him company, Whitney.” Whitney stood shell-shocked in the middle of the dance floor as Simone whisked Chad away.

“WHIT! LOOK! I GAVE MY TIARA TO ETHAN! DOESN’T HE LOOK FANTASTIC?” Whitney choked in surprise. Okay…this was going too far. But…Ethan grinned stupidly. She shook her head. The idiot was making NO move to take the crown off. Suddenly she was very worried. First the make-up, the heels, the dress. Now this. “Theresa…Honey. I’m sure Ethan doesn’t like wearing your crown. He must feel so silly. Don’t you, Ethan?” Ethan’s blue eyes sparkled at her. “Actually…no.” People on the dance floor stopped to watch Morticia and RuPaul’s white twin stumble over each other’s feet.

“Oh god,” Gwen groaned. “I think I’m going to be sick,” she said with a hand over her mouth. “How embarrassing,” Hank laughed. “Your girlfriend…oops! Did I say that?” “Shut up!” Hank straddled the chair in front of Gwen and smiled at her. “Hey,” he said softly. “I think it’s better you found out sooner rather than later. Least you two aren’t married,” he said gleefully. “Thank God for that,” Gwen whispered to herself. The…um, dressing up was more than a little disturbing.

“May I cut in?” Can’t he hear me screaming ‘NO’ on the inside? Apparently not, Kay realized as Reese puckered up for a kiss when Miguel let her go from his arms. “Sugar Plum…I missed you so much.” AHHH!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! Watching Miguel make a fool of himself in front of Charity was even worse. Why didn’t he look at her like that? Reese twirled her again. And Kay felt like a basketball spinning on someone’s finger. “Reese! Stop it!”

“Sheridan…Sheridan.” Sheridan giggled as Luis tried to peel her off him. “Sheridan,” he said firmly. Horrified as he watched tears spring to her blue eyes and her lips pout at him. Damn. She sure did fight dirty. Without even realizing it, he thought with a helpless smile. “Stop that,” he shushed. “You know I hate to see those pretty eyes so sad. Come here,” he beckoned. She fit in his arms so perfectly. What the hell. So what if he didn’t know which way was up with her tonight? She looped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. Whispered words that made his heart want to burst out of his chest. “I think I love you, Luis.” And passed out cold.

“You wouldn’t,” Kay challenged. Sitting on her hands. A grin a mile wide on her face. “Now will you wake up?” “She’s not going to stop, Sher. Might as well do it,” Gwen laughed. “Very persistent gal. Runs in the family.” Sheridan threw the thick comforter to the side with a few very unladylike curses. Directed at…who else? “Ms. Crane,” Kay said with wide eyes. “I’m going to tell my mommy on you. You said a dirty, dirty, nasty word.” Sheridan staggered to the bathroom clutching her head in agony. “Be nice,” Gwen warned. “She doesn’t do hangovers well.” “Gwen,” Sheridan wailed. “I’m already on it. One steaming hot mug of black coffee coming right up.”

Blood-shot blue eyes stared at her from the mirror. “How did THIS happen?” Kay’s amused voice made her jump. “You mean you don’t know? Ms. Crane,” she teased. “You were really chugging that punch down.” Her toothbrush paused in its motions. “Don’t tell me. Somebody spiked it.” “Not just somebody. Guess. Harmony High’s resident creep in a football uniform.” “Chris Hall.” “Bingo!” “STOP YELLING!” Kay held up her hands defensively. “Okay. Geez. Aren’t you Ms. Suzy Sunshine this morning? Speaking of crazy Suzie’s.” Sheridan rolled her eyes. “Who? Me?” “Speaking of crazy Suzie’s,” Kay continued. “You should have seen her. Thank God Principal Reid was too distracted by her attack on his…um, person…EW!…to notice you passed out. Stone-cold drunk,” Kay smirked. “Luis had to carry you out of the Youth Center.”

Oh my god! Luis! Sheridan’s cheeks burned red. She made a fool of herself in front of the straight-laced cop that had stolen her heart. Stolen her heart? “Um…Kay…did I…did I do anything crazy last night? Anything…you know…that I might be embarrassed of in the light of the day?” Kay made a zipping motion with her fingers. “I’m not saying a word. Not a single word.” The secretive little she-demon. There was definitely something she wasn’t telling her. She winced as the sweatshirt slipped over her head. Damn. Even her hair hurt. Her eyes landed on the pair of gray sweatpants in the far corner of her closet. What the hell. It wasn’t like Luis would want to see her anytime soon. Unless he came by to tell her he could never look at her again.

Gwen and Kay sat on the couch. Heads together. Laughing raucously. “And WHAT may I ask is so funny?” She sank into the armchairs deep cushions with a sigh. “Oh Sheridan…too bad you were passed out. You missed quite a party last night.” “Spill it.” Kay grinned. “Where should I start?” “I don’t think I can stomach the thought of Suzie mauling Principal Reid. Go straight to the best parts.” “Reese and Chad got into a fistfight with Chris Hall.”

Sheridan’s jaw dropped open. “What? How? Why?” “Whiney…I mean Whitney refused to dance with him. Over and over again, I might add. Well, Chris wouldn’t get the message. He grabbed Whitney and tried to force her out on the dance floor. When Whitney said ‘no’, Chad landed the first punch.” Gwen smiled. “I still don’t know how Reese got mixed up in the whole mess.” Kay’s eyes sparkled. “How else? Chris was so sloshed he couldn’t see straight. It was an accident. He broke Reese’s glasses. Who knew Reese was so…oh my god! Reese has muscles!”

Sheridan giggled helplessly. “Duh!” She immediately winced. “Well…tell me more. What else happened?” “Ethan did the most wonderful impersonation of Elvis Presley I ever did see,” Kay said sarcastically. “And Theresa ate it up,” Gwen laughed. “Ms. Crane…someone needs to tell DUMBY. He has absolutely no rhythm. Forrest can’t dance.” Sheridan’s eyes watered over with tears from the laughter. “You’re killing me,” she gasped. “That’s not the half of it,” Kay confided. “Theresa was so overcome with emotion, she threw her bra to him. Hiked up her skirt. And…” “And what?” “Tripped flat on her clown face. But not without taking out a few…DOZEN…people.” Gwen’s brown eyes danced. “I’m telling you, Sher. They went down like dominoes.” “All in a day’s work for the Lethal Weapon,” Kay grinned.

Sheridan wiped the tears from her eyes. “I missed a lot.” Kay and Gwen looked at each other and burst into laughter. “Boy did you ever,” Kay teased. “Kay Bennett…what are you not telling me? I knew it. What happened before I passed out?” “I’ll put it this way,” Gwen said slowly. “If the dashing Officer Lo-Fitz didn’t know you were absolutely gaga over him before…he certainly does now.” Sheridan brought her pillow to her face and screamed into it. It was coming back to her in bits and pieces. “Did I really squeeze his butt in public?” “Just like Charmin,” Kay cracked. “Okay,” she backed down. “Really, really BAD joke. Sorry.” “Did I…did I say something stupid?” “I plead The Fifth on the grounds that you might take out your considerable FRUSTRATION on me,” Kay said seriously. “Kay,” Sheridan warned. “No, M’am.”

The doorbell rang, and Kay swore she saw Sheridan’s eyes cross. “Answer the damn door,” she said between gritted teeth. Gwen got up and hobbled to the door. But not without a very necessary stop to peer out the window. “It’s him. It’s him.” “Oh my god! I can’t let him see me like this!” Sheridan shrieked. Jumping up in a blind panic. Unfortunately for her…”Ouch!” Kay groaned. Another reason on Ms. Crane’s considerable list. “Sorry,” she apologized. Scooping the pair of sneakers into her arms and helping Sheridan to her feet. “Luis,” she smiled brightly. Hopping on one foot to the couch where she collapsed in an exhausted heap. Luis smiled back just as brightly. “Do they have it bad or what?” Gwen pulled Kay into the kitchen with a finger to her lips. “Too bad she doesn’t remember saying it.” “I think we can fix that,” Kay smirked. Stretching a slender arm out and turning the CD player on the counter on. David Cassidy crooned “I Think I Love You” from its speakers. And on the couch in the living room, Sheridan Crane passed out cold for the second time in 24 hours.

In the kitchen, Gwen laughed helplessly while Kay groaned in frustration. “Those two…God! Why is she so damn shy around him? He’s only a guy.” “Kay,” Gwen snorted. “Okay,” Kay rolled her eyes. “So he isn’t an ordinary guy. At this rate, my grandchildren will have to endure this…this stupidity. That’s it! We’re going to have to get her drunk again. That’s the only way she’s going to spit it out.” “I don’t know about that,” Gwen smirked. Kay poked her head back around the kitchen door. Hanging on every word.

“Luis,” Sheridan gulped nervously. “Luis…about last night…” “Yeah,” he encouraged. Taking her hand in his and turning it palm side up. “Luis,” she continued. “I may have said some things…” Her blue eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch of his fingertips tracing the lines of her palm. “Yes! Luis!” Gwen cheered as Luis cupped Sheridan’s hand to his cheek and kissed it sweetly. “She’s going to crack,” Kay said gleefully. “Sheridan,” Luis prodded. “You were saying…” “Would you look at that? He so knows what he’s doing.” “Who knows what he’s doing?” “Holy @#$%! Mrs. Crane! You scared me!”

Ivy’s blue green eyes sparkled mischievously. “Ooo. I just love eavesdropping.” Kay’s brows shot to the top of her head. “Really?” Gwen stumbled into the kitchen counter as Ivy wedged herself in between her and Kay. “Hey! You’re hogging up the best spot,” Kay glared. Ivy gave the teen her best ‘Don’t you dare mess with me’ stare. Gwen’s mouth hung open in shock when Kay didn’t back down. “Shh,” Gwen raised a finger to her lips. “Stop fighting. I can’t tell what’s going on.”

“You know,” Sheridan babbled. “I had too much to drink, and I really don’t know what I said. One time when Gwen and I went to a party…I had the bright idea to go skinny-dipping. In front of 50, 60 fully clothed people. It was so embarrassing! Not as embarrassing as this, though,” she muttered under her breath. Luis shook with laughter. “Now that I would kill to see.” “Meow,” Ivy purred. “What I wouldn’t give to see the good Officer…” “Ivy!” Gwen gasped. Kay snarled her nose. “Don’t I see a wedding ring on that finger?” she sassed. “Ugh," she shuddered uncontrollably. "Who wants to see Julian naked? No offense, Ivy.” “None taken,” Ivy grinned. “It is rather…pathetic’s too kind a word.”

“Sheridan. Slow down,” Luis grinned. “You weren’t that bad. In fact…you were the life of the party.” “You’re just being nice,” Sheridan said softly. “No. Really,” Luis laughed. “Kay has the pictures to prove it.” “K-Kay? That girl,” she shook her head. “Uh oh,” Kay grumbled. “Bust-ed.” “You have pictures?” Ivy perked up. “Yeah…but they’re going to cost you. I can sell them to you for…$50.” “What the…$50! For pictures?” “They’re really good pictures,” Gwen smirked. “Luis…I…I have a history of making a fool of myself when I’m with you. I can’t even look at you without blushing,” she blushed. “I like that about you,” Luis laughed. “Uh huh, Sheridan. All those naughty thoughts and fantasies filling your head. No wonder she has trouble staying conscious. He is drop-dead gorgeous,” Ivy sighed. Visions of Sam flashing before her eyes. "Geez,” Kay hissed. “You haven’t…you know…in a very long time, have you? And they say teens have sex on the brain. Obviously they haven’t met you.”

“Did you mean it?” Luis asked seriously. Staring into Sheridan’s blue eyes. Sheridan opened her mouth to speak but no words would NOT come out. ‘Hell, yes!’ she wanted to shout. But all that would come out was a tiny squeak. “Cause if you meant it…I…” “What? What, Luis?” she whispered softly. Barely able to breathe. “I think…I think…” “Okay, Elmer Fudd,” Kay rolled her eyes. “He’s just as bad as her.” “Shut up,” Gwen hushed. Ivy crossed her fingers. “I think I l-l-…” “DIOS MIO! LUIS! MIJO! IT’S TERRIBLE, MIJO,” Pilar burst through the cottage door in tears. Julian seconds behind her. Chugging a stiff brandy. “Mama? What is it, Mama?” Luis asked. Jumping to his feet. Sheridan slumped against the couch cushions wearily. Dammit, dammit, dammit, she screamed silently. Always an interruption. Ivy, Kay, AND Gwen jerked their heads back. “Your sister,” Julian spat. “Theresa? What about Theresa?” Pilar shoved the newspaper into Luis’s hands.

“THERESA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sheridan took the newspaper from his hands, and her blue eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “Oh god,” she groaned. “They didn’t.” “They DID,” Luis roared. ‘What?’ Ivy mouthed. Kay shrugged her shoulders. “Come on,” Kay whispered. “Come on. Read it. Read it.” “Crane Heir elopes with Bride of Chucky!” “Oh my god!” Kay snickered. THUD! “Poor Ethan. I’m so sorry, Gwen. But hey…now you’re free to go after Uncle Hank. He’s a great guy. Really. Gwen? Gwen!” Ivy stepped over Gwen’s prone body, stomped out of the kitchen and snatched the newspaper out of Sheridan’s hands. “Where is he? I’m going to kill that son of mine! She isn’t even out of high school!” "Ivy," Sheridan gasped in surprise. "Where did you come from?" Ivy ignored her and stalked out the door. Luis close behind her. And of course, Sheridan *had* to go. She had a few choice words for Ethan. “Hey! Wait up for me!” Kay called. “Sorry, Gwen. I can’t miss this!” she apologized. Before racing off after the angry mob.

"Ethan Sam…Ivy Dear," Julian muttered sarcastically. "Don't you mean Ethan Julian Crane?" "Not now, Julian," Ivy barked impatiently. "Ethan! Unlock this door this instant!" Pilar bowed her head and prayed softly in Spanish. "Would you put a plug in it!" Julian spat. "So annoying," he confided to Sheridan. "Sheridan Dear," he grumbled. "You haven't run off and eloped with Officer Enchilada have you?" "JULIAN!" "OOOOOWWWW!" Julian screamed like a woman when Sheridan shoved him in the chest. "His name is Luis. L…U…I…S," Sheridan spelled. "What did I miss? Did I miss anything?" Julian looked down his nose at Kay. "And who might I ask are you? The Little Match Girl?" "Well, well," Kay snarled. "If it isn't the Dirty Old Man."

Ivy's fists pounded on Ethan's bedroom door. "Mot…ouch!" "Serves him right," Kay whispered. Grinning broadly when Ivy's fist connected soundly with Ethan's head. "Did you hear that? Maybe I should start calling him the Hollow Man. There's nothing in there. I mean there can't be. He married her," she shuddered. Sheridan raised a hand to her mouth at the sight of Theresa. "Aww. Isn't it sweet? Your nephew finally got the life-size Barbie he always wanted." Luis glared at Kay. "Okay," Kay grumbled. "Sorry." "Mommy," Ethan pouted. "Why did you hit me?" Kay's eyes almost rolled all the way back in her head. "EEEEEEEEETTTTTTHHHHHAAANNNNN!!!!! Your family's here to welcome me into the family. Isn't that nice of them?" she bubbled.

"Mija!" Pilar gasped in shame. "Where are your clothes?" "Mama," Theresa twittered. Batting her big brown eyes at Ethan. "It's my honeymoon." "Yeah, Pilar. It's her honeymoon," Julian added gleefully. "Yuck," Kay groaned. "No wonder she hasn't had any." "Huh?" Sheridan asked cluelessly. "Theresa…you look wuvly," Julian slurred. "Oh thank you, Mr. Crane!" Theresa gushed. Hugging his neck tightly. "THERESITA!" "Theresa!" "Aww. Luis…are you jealous?" "Ethan my boy," Julian grinned. Giving his son a thumbs up sign. "Not too bright, is she? Those are the best kind. How is she in…the you know."

"What Father?" Ethan asked dumbly. "In the…" "Alright! Alright! Forgive me for saying this…but I SO do NOT want to hear this!" Sheridan yelled. "I know the feeling," Kay agreed. "Dizziness. Overwhelming nausea. Hysterical blindness. Fear for the all mankind's future. Oh my god! Just think if they have children. The world is going to Hell in a Handbasket." "That's impossible," Luis ground out. “No, it’s not, Luis.” Theresa grinned proudly. “I’m a woman now.” Pilar sobbed quietly. "Come on, Theresa. We're getting this 'marriage' annulled. You’re under-aged." “And she’s NEVER been in her right mind,” Kay added. "NO! LUIS! You can't. No," Theresa screamed hysterically as Luis pulled her by the arm.

"Fa…Father! What's Wuis doing?" "He's taking your little Chiquita Banana, Son. Stand up to him. Don't let him do such a thing." "JULIAN!" Ivy screamed. "Are you even hearing what you're spewing?" "Aunt Sweridan," Ethan pouted. "Don't let Wuis do this to us. We're in wuv," he slurred. "Ther…she adores me," he said in a hushed whisper. "She says she's wuved me ever since she met me." "Is that what she said?" Kay scoffed. "She's loved you? Listen Forrest…where I come from…we call it a Fatal Attraction. You should be scared. Very scared, Dumby. This is one of those 'run for your life' moments."

"Don't do this, Luis! Please! Please don't! I love him! I've loved him my whole life!" Theresa cried. "Luis…is she okay?" Sheridan asked worriedly. "That?" Kay groaned. "No…she is NOT having a Grand Mal seizure. It just looks like it." "Mommy…mommy, I'm scared," Ethan cowered. Theresa threw herself down on her knees. "ETHAN! ETHAN! TELL THEM! YOU LOVE ME!" "Filthy, stinking drunks," Kay muttered. "No," Sheridan said in a puzzled voice. "Ethan, maybe. But I don't think…" "Theresa's NOT drunk," Luis sighed.

"Ethan?" Sheridan smacked her nephew upside the head. "The lights are on, but nobody's home," Kay smirked. "You can say that again." "Gwen! I'm so glad you're alright. Ooo. Does that hurt?" Gwen rolled her eyes and rubbed the goose egg on the back of her head. "Not as much as it could," she answered. Staring into Ethan's clueless blue eyes. “Gwen…don’t worry. This marriage…it won’t last,” Ivy consoled. “Ethan belongs with you.” “I’m not so sure,” Gwen said softly. “Ethan?” “Hen?” Kay and Sheridan snickered helplessly. “Do you love her? Does she make you happy?” “Yeah,” Ethan said stupidly. “He’s my whole world,” Theresa babbled. “I’d die without him. I really would,” she cried earnestly. “Damn,” Kay swore softly. “If only…” “Okay,” Gwen smiled. “O-O-O-kay?” Ethan stuttered. “Okay! Okay! Oh! Thank you, Gwen! Thank you!”

Luis shook his head helplessly. Why fight it? “IT’S FATE, ETHAN! IT’S FATE! WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! FOREVER AND ALWAYS! DESTINED!” “Come on, Pilar,” Sheridan said. Placing a comforting arm around Pilar’s waist. “God help you,” Kay said in all seriousness. “God help you. Hurry up, Gwen. Let’s go drown your sorrows,” Kay said gleefully. “I knew you were smart. You have to hook up with Uncle Hank.” Gwen’s laughter echoed in the halls. “Soon!” “Dear Lord!” Julian cringed. “It’s not necessary to…” Ivy grew faint as she watched her son swap spit with Pilar’s unbalanced daughter. “Julian,” she said weakly. “I need a stiff drink.” Julian’s ears perked up. And he smiled devilishly. He was always up for another drink.

“NO! Really…we’re just going to talk. We NEED to talk. On second thought,” she said in a panicked voice, “I WILL go with you two.” “No, you don’t,” Kay grinned. “You’re staying right here.” “Bye, Luis,” Gwen called. Luis raised a hand in goodbye. “Consider yourself lucky, Gwen,” Kay could be heard saying as the door shut behind them. “You didn’t want the Lethal Weapon stalking you two all your unhappily married lives, did you?”

Sheridan’s lips twisted into a smile. “That girl.” “She’s something else, isn’t she?” Luis agreed. Patting the space on the plush sofa beside him. “I do believe we have something to discuss,” he smiled. Sheridan fidgeted with the rings around her fingers. “I still can’t believe they did it. Eloped! Luis…you know what this means, don’t you?” Luis’s brown eyes sparkled at her as he took her hand in his. “We’re related.” Sheridan sighed and leaned back against the pillows. “You’ll be Uncle Luis to Ethan’s children,” she smirked. “Oh god,” Luis groaned. “Can we talk about something else?” “Sure,” Sheridan said softly. Squeezing his hand. “Anything?” Luis queried. “Anything,” she whispered.

“Sheridan…look at me,” Luis requested. Sheridan’s blue eyes met his steadily. “Did you mean it? Did you mean what you said at the dance?” “I…I…Luis…I…” “Shh,” he hushed. Brushing his knuckles across her cheek. Great, Sheridan. Doesn’t the man realize you’re melting into a gooey pile of mush right before his very eyes? Luis grinned at the irregular sound of her breathing. He affected her as much as she affected him. “Luis…” “Don’t tell me. Show me,” he breathed. She kissed him with a sigh. And delved her fingers deeper into his black hair. Luis smiled against her lips and took a ragged breath. “Are things a little clearer now?”

“What?” she gasped. Resting her head against his chest. “Sheridan…” His eyes fluttered shut at gentle touch. The tickle of her nails as her hands slipped under his shirt. “Why Officer,” she teased. “Now who’s the one speechless?” He chuckled. Brown eyes smiling at her. His hands rested at her waist. Sheridan bit her lip when she felt his warm touch on her bare back. “I love the sweats,” Luis grinned. “Very…sexy…look…for…you,” he said between teasing kisses to her lips. Her brow. “And I thought the red dress was your favorite,” she pouted playfully.

Luis lowered her onto her back and threaded his fingers through her short golden curls. “Ms. Crane,” he said seriously. “Everything you wear is my favorite.” “Luis,” Sheridan whispered. Tracing the line of his jaw with her fingertips. “I didn’t mean it.” Luis pulled his hand free. “No…Luis…I don’t think I love you,” Sheridan admitted. Tears clinging to her lashes. “I KNOW I love you,” she said sincerely. Kissing his palm. “You make me crazy,” she laughed nervously. “I’m a complete mess around you. But I love it. I love you.”

Luis broke out into a slow grin. And he pulled her into his arms in a fierce hug. “So…I bring out the worst in you, is that it?” he teased. Sheridan smacked his chest playfully. But he grabbed her hand in his. “If that’s the worst…I can’t wait to see the best. You’re amazing. Mess or not,” he whispered. Wiping her happy tears away. Kissing the tip of her nose. He cupped her face lovingly. “Ms. Crane…I love you, too,” he smiled. “Oh Luis!” she cried. Throwing her arms around his neck. “Say it again. Say it again.” Luis laughed and kissed her lips gently. “I…Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald…am crazy in love with you…Sheridan Crane. How’s that?” Sheridan cut him off with a kiss.

“HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HAL-LE-LU-JAH!" "IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!” Gwen shouted.

Sheridan collapsed against him in a fit of giggles. And Luis groaned.

“KKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"GGGGGGGGWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AH! My nose! I think it's broken! ETHAN! ETHAN, WHERE ARE YOU?" Theresa's arms flailed wildly. "Theresa," Ivy gasped. "What on earth are you doing here?" "I thought it'd be nice if we had a big family breakfast," she pouted. "Gag me," Julian mouthed. Ivy grabbed a box of Kleenez from her nightstand. "Thank you, Mrs. Crane," Theresa smiled. Holding the tissue to her nose. "Theresa!" Ethan skidded past the bedroom door. "Theresa! Are you okay? What happened?" "Nothing," Theresa shook her head. "Oh! Ethan! I'm dizzy," she swooned. Ivy rolled her eyes when Ethan swept his teen-age bride up in his arms. "Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

Theresa's big brown eyes welled up with tears. Crocodile tears, Ivy'd bet. And her lower lip jutted out in the most ridiculous pout she had ever seen. "I want us to be one big, happy family," she sniffled. Ethan's brows shot up. "My family? Theresa…you have NO idea…" "Ethan," she trembled. "Please." "Mother…" HELP, he mouthed. "Get your clothes on before I go blind, Julian. We have a family breakfast to attend." "Why don't you just shoot me now?" Julian moaned.

"Ethan! Ethan!" Theresa squealed as they descended the stairs. "Someone's at the door! Can I go answer it? Please. Pretty please." "Pilar's never been so THRILLED about her domestic duties," Julian mumbled. "Ouch! What was that for?" "Oh…no particular reason," Ivy grinned devilishly. Pulling her robe tighter across her waist. "GOOD MORNING!" Theresa gushed. Sheridan jumped on the other side. A hand over her heart. "Theresa," she laughed nervously. "You…surprised me." Actually…well, it wouldn't be too nice to tell the newest member of your family they scared you.

"MS. CRANE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! WE'RE RELATED NOW!" "Um…Theresa," Sheridan gasped. Trying desperately to pry her arms loose from her neck. "I…can't…breathe." "Sorry," Theresa apologized. "Aunt Sheridan," Ethan cried. Sheridan bit her lip. By the looks of things…Ethan's alcoholic fog was clearing. He looked scared to death. "What are you doing here so early?" "Good God," Julian blustered when his eyes found the clock. "The dew is still on the grass! I never get up before 11 on Sundays!" Sheridan rolled her eyes at her brother. "I came by to see if you and Theresa wanted to go to church with me and…Do you want to go or not?"

"We'd be delighted," Ivy answered for them all. "WE MOST CERTAINLY WOULD NOT!" Julian roared. "Oh, Ethan!" Theresa bubbled. "I can't wait to show off my new husband to all my friends!" Ethan shrugged his shoulders. But Sheridan could tell the idea appealed to him greatly. "We'll go," he smiled. "Great! I'll just wait for you in the living room."

"Would you can it?" Sheridan groaned. "What's the matter with you, Julian? Afraid the saints and angels will turn you away at the door?" Julian crossed his arms in annoyance. "You're smothering me, Diddums," he snarled at Ivy. Ivy pointed at Theresa practically in her lap. "Do I look like I can help that?" she hissed. "Theresa, Dear. Don't you think that is enough..." "Mrs. Crane! I know! I have too much blush on and not enough eye shadow. Thank you! You're the greatest mother-in-law a girl could have!"

"I'm in HELL," Julian muttered. Fishing his flask of liquor out of his suit pocket. Sheridan snickered beside Ethan. "Aunt Sheridan...what am I going to do?" The limo slowed to a stop, and the door opened. "M'lady." Sheridan beamed and took Luis's hand. "I'm in HEAVEN," she sighed. "Sorry," she mouthed to Ivy. And she couldn't resist the urges of her inner child...she stuck her tongue out at her stuffy, older brother. "Help! Help!" Julian cried as the limo door slammed shut in his face.

"Kay!" Simone scolded. "If Ethan wants to stay married to Theresa that's his choice." "More like fatal mistake," Kay crossed her arms. "Do you know what she's doing now? Handing out invitations to a Christmas party at the Crane Mansion. A slumber party. In her and Ethan's bedroom. I'll let you in on a little secret, Simone," Kay whispered conspiratorially. "She has NSYNC posters plastered all over the wall up there. All the boy bands. And good ole hubby, too." "How?" Simone sputtered. Kay shrugged her shoulders. A devious twinkle in her dark eyes. "The door's always open. Apparently any lunatic can get in," she said. Casting a pointed look Theresa's way. "Theresa hardly got the Dynasty fantasy she's been dreaming of. It's more like the Addams Family over there."

"Kay," Miguel chuckled. "It's not that bad." "Sure...sure..this from the boy who's new favorite activity is to mooch off the baddies in town. How do Julian and sweet Charity get along?" Miguel's brown eyes glazed over at the sound of Charity's name. "Charity...I have to go find her." “Bye…Zombie Boy,” Kay sighed. Thank the good Lord I finally got over you, Miguel. Oh sure…you’re still nice to look at. And my oldest friend. Simone smiled at the Toothache Twosome. “They’re so…” “Sweet. I know, Simone. And I’m happy for them.” Simone looked at her incredulously. “Really,” Kay said. “Miguel IS a dreamboat. Yeah…with the personality of a plank of wood.” “Kay Bennett! Are you sure you’re not sick?” Kay slapped Simone’s hand away from her forehead. “I’m 100%. Look Simone…hate to run. But…” Simone raised a shaky hand to her OWN forehead as she watched Kay fall into step beside Reese and traipse into Ms. Crane’s classroom. “Toto…I have a feeling we aren’t in Kansas anymore,” she muttered under her breath.

The bell rang, and students scattered to and fro. Rushing to their respective classes. It WAS Finals Week, after all. “Alright class…this is it,” Sheridan smiled. Perching herself on the edge of her desk. “The end. Fini,” she said in a stage whisper. Whoops and hollers sounded from the back of the classroom, and the pout on Sheridan’s lips lasted maybe a full 10 seconds. “I love you, too, Bradley,” she grinned. Batting her eyelashes. She hopped down from her desk. Grabbing a stack of papers a mountain high. “Jeez, Ms. Crane,” Kay grumbled. “Are those our lumps of coal?” a tiny, timid brunette from the back corner winced. “You guys,” Sheridan laughed. “It’s Christmas. And I don’t look like The Grinch. Do I?” “No. I’d say…you look more like an elf,” Kay snickered. “With a gigantic hickey on your neck,” she hissed. Cracking up when Sheridan blushed a deep red to match her festive outfit.

The Final? Well…it was a cinch. Kay really couldn’t believe how easy it was. She actually got kind of choked up when she handed in her paper. “Kay,” Sheridan teased. “Is that…wait…let me look a little bit closer. Yes, it is,” she smiled. “I’m going to miss you, too.” “Okay. Okay,” Kay raised her dark brows. “I liked your class. A lot more than I thought I would.” “So…,” Sheridan ventured. Waving goodbye to Miguel and Charity. “Does that mean you’ll be taking the second session next semester?” “Anything’s possible,” Kay grinned. “Besides…someone has to keep you on your toes. Hey! What was that for?” Kay cried when Sheridan thumped her on the backside with her very own test. “Child abuse! Don’t think I won’t do it,” she challenged. The twinkle in Sheridan’s blue eyes told Kay she was on to her game. “Wow! It only took you half a year.” “Go on, Kay. Shoo!” Sheridan laughed. Following her out the open door. Right into Theresa’s path.

“Ms….Sheridan…Ms. Crane…Oh! You’re family now. You don’t mind me calling you Sheridan. Do you?” Theresa bubbled. Extending a…er, helping hand. Sheridan winced as she rubbed her elbow gingerly. “No. I don’t mind. But Theresa…I’d prefer it if you’d call me Ms. Crane during school.” “No problem,” Theresa nodded her head vigorously. Kay made goofy faces behind Theresa’s back. “Ms. Crane,” Theresa gushed. “I’m having a Christmas party. Maybe Ethan’s told you about it already.” Sheridan opened her mouth to say ‘no’, but Theresa plowed ahead. “Anyway…it’s just…me and the girls. And I…you’re invited,” she said with a silly grin. “Please say you’ll come,” Theresa pleaded. Shoving the hot pink invitation in Sheridan’s hand. “You’re Ethan’s favorite aunt, and my brother…Luis is crazy for you. I want to get to know you better,” Theresa said breathlessly. Bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I…uh…Theresa…I…” “OH! THANK YOU SO MUCH!” Theresa squealed. Hugging Sheridan tightly before skipping back down the hall. Kay snatched the invitation from Sheridan’s hand. “Barbie! I bet you all play Truth or Dare and fill out all those stupid polls from Seventeen magazine. And to think…for a split second there I was upset I didn’t rank high enough with the Lethal Weapon to score an invite. See ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!” Kay shot over her shoulder as she hurried to her next class.

center> Chapter 49

“Hhhhhhhaaaaaaavvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee yoursssssseeeeellllllllfffffffffff a Merry little Christmas,” Julian bellowed over his brandy glass. “Aww. Mr. Crane…,” Theresa bubbled. “I love your Santa hat.” “Tank you,” Julian slurred. “Theresa,” Ethan whined. “A slumber party? A slumber party?” he shook his head. “THIS is what I have to look forward to in my last days,” Ivy muttered under her breath. “Theresa, dear,” she said sweetly. “Would you like some eggnog?” “Oh! Yes, I would,” Theresa said enthusiastically. Ivy poured her a glass and held it out to her. “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! They’re here! They’re here!” Theresa squealed. Ivy rolled her eyes and raised the glass to her own lips. “Diddums,” Julian practically purred in her ear. “Want to thake dis party upthairs? I can thing for you. Your wish is my command. What thong would you like to hear?” Julian asked. The bell attached to his red cap made the most annoying noise as his head bobbed up and down. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Ivy gagged. “Ches-NUTS,” Julian’s voice came out as a high squeak as her knee met with a..um…sensitive place. “Roasting on an open fire,” he finished weakly.

“Jenn! You came!” Theresa jumped up and down excitedly. The look on her face matched the deer in the headlights look that seemed to be a permanent expression on Ethan’s face these past two months. “Amy! Lisa!” “You forgot me!” Kay squealed. Holding her arms out wide. “But…but…” “I’m Ms. Crane’s guest. Aren’t I, Ms. Crane?” Theresa smiled giddily at the sight of Sheridan. “The slumber party wouldn’t be complete without you,” she sighed. “And I brought Simone along as my guest. She’s never seen the inside of the Mansion before,” Kay piped up obnoxiously. Dragging Simone inside. “Julian? What’s wrong with you?” Sheridan asked curiously when she caught sight of her brother hunched over in the corner. “Little Julian isn’t feeling well,” Ivy said dryly. “Little Julian? Mrs. Crane! I didn’t know you and Mr. Crane had a son named Little Julian. Aww….how cute!” Julian swore under his breath as Ivy’s eggnog dripped into his eyes. “Mother!” Ethan exclaimed. “How come you never told me about another brother?” Sheridan rolled her eyes. “This is going to be a long night,” Kay mumbled beside her. “Hey! Where’s the kitchen?”

The doorbell rang, and Theresa scrambled to answer it. “Theresa!” Whitney laughed at the sight of her best friend’s impersonation of a gymnast doing the splits. Theresa grabbed hold of Whitney’s hand. And they knocked heads on the way up. “Sis,” Luis shook his head. “Can’t you keep yourself out of trouble?” Theresa’s brown eyes lit up. “Luis! Wait a minute…why are you here? This party is only for girls. No boys allowed.” Luis’s brown eyes searched the room over for Sheridan. “Uh…I came to keep Ethan company,” Luis came up with a quick answer. “Oh Luis! I’m so happy you want to get closer to Ethan. We really are one big happy family,” Theresa gushed. “Hi Luis,” Ethan said boredly. Luis could practically see the word “HELP” flashing like a neon sign on the kid’s forehead. But hey! It wasn’t his problem. Ethan was the Harvard-educated lawyer. Let him figure this one out on his own. “Sheridan!” Luis lit up like a…well…a Christmas tree when he saw her. “Ooo,” Kay grinned evilly. “This party IS going to be fun. The things we can do, Simone.” “Kay…”

“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!” Theresa sang gleefully. Stringing popcorn for the tree. “This is going to look so pretty, isn’t it?” “Yeah,” Ethan said. Popping another kernel into his mouth. Theresa held up her homemade decoration. “That’s weird. It never gets any bigger.” Whitney bit her lip to keep from laughing when Ethan’s face blushed a bright red. “A family trait, I see?” Luis teased. “But red is definitely your color. Doesn’t do too much for the good ole brother-in-law.” “Luis,” Sheridan elbowed him. “Be nice.” “They’re like Dumb and Dumber,” Simone said boredly. “But I can’t tell who’s who?” “Where’s Ivy?” Kay questioned. “I think I saw her…you know what, Kay? I don’t know where she went.” “Come on, Simone. Let’s go upstairs.” Simone looked back at the dwindling circle of people. “…then after we get back from caroling, we’ll come back and watch NSYNC’S Christmas special. Won’t it be so fun, Whit?” “Okay,” Simone agreed readily. “I think they have the right idea,” Sheridan giggled. Watching Kay and Simone disappear up the stairs. “Ms. Crane? Where’s the bathroom?” Lisa, Jenn, and Amy chimed.

“Luis,” Sheridan gasped as her back hit the door. The upstairs bathroom door to be exact. “What?” Luis mumbled against her neck. “Not here,” she managed to squeak. “Come on, Ms. Crane,” Luis whined. “This is so much more fun than…” “Luis!” Sheridan scolded. “Your own sister!” Luis grinned at her. “Yeah, well…” Sheridan laughed and threaded her fingers through his. “Come on. I’ll show you my old room.” “Ooo. Your old room. The possibilities.” “Shut up,” Sheridan giggled against his lips. “Shh,” Luis put a finger to his lips. “I think someone’s outside.” “Kay! Kay Bennett! Where are you taking me? You’re going to get me in trouble again, aren’t you?” Sheridan and Luis scooted down the hall unnoticed. “Bingo!” Kay yelled triumphantly. “What?” Simone asked dumbly. “I don’t get it.” “This is Theresa’s bathroom.” “What? How? Doesn’t she share a bathroom with Ethan?” “Nope,” Kay shook her head. “Only enough room for her eyeshadow. Her lipstick and blush are in here. With all her other stuff.” “Kay! What is that? Oh my…” Kay cackled devilishly as she put krazy glue around the edges of Theresa’s wand of lipstick. “With any luck…she’ll never be able to say another word.” “Permanent ink in her blush! Kay Bennett…you really are evil incarnate.” “Simone…you wound me.”

“But Whit! Where’d they all go?” Theresa trembled. “Theresa…Honey…” “I know!” Theresa shouted for joy. “Don’t you get it, Whit? Hide and seek! How come I always have to be the one that seeks?” “Mrs. Crane…” Theresa bubbled when Ivy descended the stairs on shaky legs. “Shoo. Hide. I’ll find you.” Ivy arched a golden brow at her daughter-in-law. Hiding didn’t sound like such a bad idea. “Okay, Dear. Close your eyes,” Ivy played along. When Theresa opened her brown eyes…she was all alone. “This is so much fun!” she cried. Bounding up the stairs. Two at a time. Until the top step jumped right up and hit her in the face. “Ow!” “Dammit!” Jenn hissed down the hall. “The Terminator is on the loose again.” Lisa and Amy’s faces were ghostly pale with fear. “In here,” Jenn motioned. Julian blinked his eyes once. Twice. Three times. “Julian…you muthst have been a good boy. A very good boy,” he grinned idiotically. Hugging himself. “Come in, come in.” Jenn shrugged her shoulders, and Amy and Lisa crept closer and closer. Amy snickered. “Love your Grinch boxers, Mr. Crane.” “Grinch boxers! Oh my god! I…I…I think I’m going to be si--------------------------“ Lisa heaved. “Not on the carpet,” Julian winced. Too late. Oh! What the hell! “Girls…would you care for a drink?” Jenn’s eyes went wide. An adult…practically begging them to drink alcohol. “Sure thing, Mr. Crane,” she smiled. Flopping down on the bed beside him.

“Ethan! Ethan! Where are you?” Whitney called. “Great, Whitney,” she muttered under her breath. “That’s it. Get lost in this big ole mansion.” The Christmas lights blinked outside. A thousand flashes of brilliant color. And Whitney suddenly had an idea. She rubbed her arms roughly at the gust of cold air when she pushed the window open and climbed outside. “Ethan! Mrs. Crane!” “Shut the window, Whitney! Hurry! Quick!” Ethan said in a blind panic. Ivy clutched the thick blanket around her shoulders. “Nice view, isn’t it?” The lights of Harmony twinkled back at them. “Yes. It is,” Whitney agreed. “OH! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!” Theresa babbled to herself. Ethan shrank back from the window. Not daring to breathe. “Coast clear,” he finally whispered. Exhaling a huge sigh of relief. “I think we’re safe for now,” Ivy agreed. “Marshmallow, Whitney? You’re Dr. Russell’s daughter, aren’t you?” Whitney could only nod dumbly when Ivy produced a thermos of hot chocolate and some mugs. “She never finds us out here,” Ivy said simply.

Sheridan knelt on her knees in front of Luis. “Sher…I feel…I don’t know...” “Shut up, Luis,” Sheridan laughed. Kissing him teasingly on the lips. Luis moaned and kissed her back. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Luis panted. “We waited this long…we can wait a little while longer…” “Luis,” Sheridan smiled. A finger on his swollen lips. “We’ve waited too long. You’re killing me,” she groaned. Running her hands up and down his muscled chest. “I love you. I want to make love to you. With you. As long as I’m with you…that’s all that matters. YOU make it perfect. Not the place. Not the time. Not the..” Luis cut her off with a kiss. One more passionate than the one before it. And eased her back against the pillows. “I love you,” he smiled tenderly in the darkness. Slipping his hands underneath her red sweater and bringing the material up with them. “COME OUT! COME OUT! WHEREVER YOU ARE!” Sheridan shook with laughter. Luis grabbed one of the stuffed animals from the mountain high pile they’d scattered in the floor earlier and crammed it into her mouth to stifle her giggles. She only laughed harder. “AHA!” Theresa threw open the door. “FOUND YOU! Oh my goodness!” she said. Covering her eyes at Sheridan’s appearance. “Ms. Crane…I’m so sorry.”

Simone watched. Entranced as the last of Theresa’s ‘normal’ make-up whirled down the commode. “That’s it,” Kay sighed in satisfaction. “Now she has no other choices…she’ll have to wear this,” she brandished the krazy glue lipstick and permanent ink stained blush. “And only this. She’s going to freak out the little kids at Midnight Mass. She’s going to scare the whole town @!$%less.” Simone dangled her feet back and forth from the bathroom counter. “This bathroom is the size of our kitchen. Can you imagine living like this? It’s so unfair.” “I know,” Kay growled. “The Lethal Weapon stumbles onto all this. But I’m not jealous, Simone. She’s married to Forrest. Thank God she put him out of commission. I I shudder to think…married to that Dimbulb.” Simone giggled and kicked her feet back and forth. “Jeez, Simone. You’re getting as bad as her,” Kay teased. Stooping down to turn the waist basket right side up. “Hey! What’s this…OH MY GOD! NO FREAKING WAY!” “Kay? What? You’re scaring me,” Simone said in a complete panic. “Ew,” she scrunched up her nose. “It’s a…” “…pregnancy test,” Kay finished. “A pregnancy test? A PREGNANCY TEST! Kay! There’s a plus sign.” “I should just kill myself now. The Terror’s pregnant. This whole world’s going to Hell in a handbasket.”

“WHAT did you say?” Ivy demanded.

“A what?” Luis roared. Ivy’s blue green eyes flashed at him. “A pregnancy test,” Simone whispered. “And it’s positive,” Kay grumbled. “With the kind of gene pool this kid’ll have…Come on, Simone. We have to get to the church quick.” Simone stared at her open-mouthed. “But…” “I’m telling you, Simone. I’m afraid for my life. We have to get to the church.” “Why?” “To pray!” Kay shuddered. “This is awful. This is a nightmare.” Sheridan finally shut HER open mouth. “THERESA!” Luis’s voice echoed down the endless halls. “Luis,” Sheridan placated. “She and Ethan ARE married.” Ivy lifted a shaky hand to her brow. “And it could be…” “THERESA!” A loud crash sounded from…Julian’s room. “I think we found her,” Sheridan said. “Maybe not,” she muttered as Jenn, Lisa, and Amy flew by them “AAAHHHH!!!” “Girls! Oh girls!” Julian called. Staggering out of his bedroom. “Come back! I thought you wanted to be Santa’s elves.” “JULIAN! YOU PIG!” Ivy screeched. “Whitney? Have you seen Theresa?” Luis questioned. Whitney rubbed her arms briskly. “She and Ethan left early for Midnight Mass. Wait a minute…what’s going on?” “I’m not too sure,” Sheridan answered her. Running after Luis. Ivy and Whitney raced after her. Julian stumbled down the stairs. Santa costume and all. “Where’s my reindeer when I need them?”

“Would you stop following me like a lost puppy?” Gwen grumbled. Crossing her arms and walking ahead of Hank. “It’s been like this for the past two months. I should have Luis arrest you for stalking,” she said matter-of-factly. Hank’s grin was so bright…”What? Do I have…what?” she asked anxiously. “Hank…it’s cold out here. And I’m going to be late for…” “Do you really think I’m cute?” Gwen rolled her brown eyes without thinking. “YOU! Always fishing for compliments.” Hank caught her by the arm before she could stalk off. “Do you have fun with me?” he asked. Creeping closer. Gwen was getting more flustered by the minute. “Do you…” “W-W-W-hat?” Gwen gulped. The height difference wasn’t so bad, she told herself. It was kind of nice. Being eye-level with someone. Without shoes, of course. “You have nice eyes,” she blurted. “You didn’t answer my questions,” Hank smirked. Lifting his hand to her cheek. A soft sigh left Gwen’s lips as his knuckles grazed her cheek. “W-W-W-hat are you doing?” she stammered as his lips inched closer to hers. “Okay…okay…I find you…somewhat attractive,” she muttered. Pushing him away weakly. “Not good enough,” Hank shook his head. Brown eyes twinkling as he leaned in closer. “You’re…dammit Hank! What’s going…” Gwen leaned her forehead against his and took a shaky breath. After one the best kisses of her life. She was sure they could work their way up to mind-blowing with lots of practice. “Yes,” she admitted grudgingly. “To?” “All of the above,” she sighed. Hank grinned in delight. “I love mistletoe, don’t you?”

“Mama,” Theresa bubbled. Looping her arm through Pilar’s. “This is the best Christmas ever! All my dreams have finally come true.” Pilar smiled at her young daughter. She WAS ridiculously happy. Theresa let go of Pilar’s arm and skipped ahead. “ETHAN! Let’s make snow angels!” “Theresita!” Pilar called. To deaf ears. Charity giggled at her side. “She’s such a…” “Child?” Miguel laughed. “Come on, Charity. Let’s go get a seat.” “Pilar,” Eve greeted. “So nice to see you. Theresa’s still on cloud 9, I see.” T.C. looked away in slight embarrassment. “Where’s Luis?” “Right here,” Luis answered. “Mama? Have you seen Theresa? It’s very important I talk to her.” “Mijo…what about? Sheridan?” Sheridan’s blue eyes shied away from Pilar’s scrutiny. “I’m afraid this news is not for the faint of heart,” Ivy quipped. “MR. CRANE! IS THAT YOU?” “Oh dear god…,” Eve muttered in disbelief. “A Santa suit? I knew you liked to…role-play…but isn’t this taking it a tad too far?” “What did you…Eve? How did you…” UH OH! “Oh! Mr. Crane!” Grace cooed. “The kids are going to LOVE you. How wonderful!” Sam glared at Julian. “You, you naughty boy, are getting a lump of coal in your stocking,” Julian blustered. Playing the part. “Eve? How did you know…” “T.C…Honey…I think it’s time we went inside and got a seat.”

Julian stumbled down the aisle. Ivy hung her head in mortification when he slumped in the pew beside her. “WHY are we here, Diddums?” he hiccuped. “Mr. Crane’s looking a bit green around the gills, don’t you think Simone?” Kay giggled. “I would too. I mean…if I just found out my daughter-in-law-with hot pink cotton candy for brains-was about to pop out the spawn of Forrest Gump’s twin, I wouldn’t just be green around the gills. I…” Simone shifted restlessly in her seat. “There’s Gwen!” Kay grinned. “With Uncle Hank! They’re holding hands! Actually…she’s trying to shake his off. But…they still make a cute couple. I was thinking…” “This seat taken?” Chad interrupted. A smirk on his lips. The peanut gallery. “No,” Whitney smiled. “Simone doesn’t mind. Do you, Simone?” “Do I mind? NO!” Simone rushed. Kay clamped a hand over her mouth. “Simone! Father Lonagin’s blind. Not deaf!” “HELP ME!” All heads turned to witness Victim #89…900-something topple to the ground. Well…to say it was a domino effect was a huge understatement. “Look at that…Lethal Weapon’s tears are good for something,” Kay snickered. “She put out the fire.” Chad and Simone laughed so hard the pew shook. Whitney couldn’t help a tiny smile.

Sheridan threaded her fingers through Luis’s. “Oh Luis…it’s so beautiful. I hate to think I’ve missed this for so long.” Luis lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “You won’t have to miss it. Ever again,” he promised. Sheridan cuddled closer. And Luis felt this amazing feeling wash over him. This was right. This was…what he wanted to do forever. Hold her. Be this happy. “Sheridan,” he whispered in her ear. Unable to stop himself. “This is the best Christmas.” Her blue eyes smiled up at him. “It is,” she said softly. “I want all my Christmases to be like this,” he said. Reaching over and taking both her hands in his. “Luis,” she laughed self-consciously. “What are you doing? And why are you doing it in the middle of Christmas Mass?” Luis’s brown eyes looked away in embarrassment. “Everyone’s looking. Aren’t they?” Kay gave them a thumbs-up sign. And Theresa bounced giddily. When did the girl not bounce with excitement, Sheridan wondered. Pilar watched them with careful eyes. “Yes,” she blushed. “No one’s paying attention to Father Lonagin.” “We can’t have that,” Luis smiled. Tugging her after him down the aisle. Kay, Simone, Chad, Whitney…everyone nearly broke their necks trying to see what was happening. Except Theresa, that is. Theresa…well, she just jumped to her feet and skipped down the aisle after them. “Theresita,” Pilar hissed. “Come back.”

“Luis,” Sheridan stared at his handsome face in open astonishment as he led her outside. Under the stars. And softly falling snow. “What is this all about?” “Sheridan…Marry me,” Luis blurted. “M-M-Marry you,” Sheridan sputtered. “You want me to marry you?” Luis’s face fell. “You don’t want to. It’s too soon. I’m sorry. I mean…I don’t even have a ring for you. I was…it’s just…your face in the candlelight. The sparkle in your eyes. The feeling I get when I’m with you, Sheridan,” he said quietly. Brushing a snowflake from her blond hair. “There’s never been anything like it. And I know there never will. I want to capture this feeling. So that it never ends. But I shouldn’t have…I jumped the gun. We haven’t known each other that long. I’m sorry…” “Luis,” Sheridan laughed lightheartedly. Happy tears shimmering in her blue eyes. “It’s okay, Sheridan. Really. I understand. I…” “YES! Yes, I’ll marry you,” Sheridan exclaimed. Throwing her arms around Luis’s neck. “Yes?” “Yes,” she repeated. “Have you ever seen ‘Jerry Maguire’, Luis?” A slow grin spread over Luis’s face. “You had me from ‘hello’,” Sheridan kissed his lips gently. Her radiant smile making her glow. “Really?” Luis teased. “Really,” Sheridan kissed him again.

“Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!” Theresa burst back through the church’s doors yelling. Father Lonagin paused mid-sermon, and all eyes turned to the exuberant girl. “LUIS JUST ASKED MS. CRANE TO MARRY HIM. AND SHE SAID ‘YES’!” “YES!” Kay shouted. “Sorry, Father Lonagin,” she apologized. Father Lonagin smiled. “No need. Such news as this…is good news indeed. And calls for celebration. AFTER Midnight Mass,” he said gently. “Sheridan must be so happy,” Gwen smiled at Hank. “Luis, too. Are you happy?” he asked. Brown eyes studying her. She thought about their earlier kiss. “Yeah…I’m happy.” Grace beamed from ear to ear. And Sam couldn’t help a smile himself. Maybe not all Cranes were bad. “Ethan,” Theresa bubbled. Plopping down beside him. “Isn’t this the best news?” “Best news?” Julian grumbled. “My sister. Married to Officer Low-Lopez-Fitzgerald,” he amended at Ethan’s pointed look. “I’m sure nothing can top that,” he mumbled. Voice dripping with sarcasm. “Think again, Julian,” Ivy said. Not without a small measure of glee at his pending hours and days and months and years of torture. “Luis is not the only new member of the Crane family.” Julian puffed out his chest. Looking utterly ridiculous dressed as old Saint Nick. “Really, Diddums? What can possibly ruin my Christmas more?” Ivy crossed her arms about her chest. “I’m pregnant,” she announced with a shudder. “PREG-----PREG---“. And all the little children of Harmony screamed in horror when Santa Claus passed out cold. “MOMMY! WHAT ABOUT MY PRESENTS?”