Hamham Human

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Thank you to Kittypuff for sending this in!

Hamtaro loved his hamster life. But his mind changed one night, when Laura wrote, "Physical education was fun today. We got to run, jump over hurdles, shot put, long jump, and high jump. It was a lot of work, and at first I was bad at throwing the shot put. Travis showed me how, and he gave better directions and advice than Mr. Yoshi. Once I got it, I was great at it!"

Hamtaro blinked as he read the page. Laura dropped her pen and picked up Hamtaro.

"Today was great", started Laura, "but I bet tomorrow will be even better! Good night, Hamtaro.", Laura gently put Hamtaro back into his cage.

"It might be better for you than for me", thought Hamtaro as he dozed off.

The next morning, Hamtaro started to go to the Ham-Ham clubhouse.

"Boy, being human must be fun” , he thought. Walking to the underground door, he kept wondering about how fun life'd be if he was a human.

"Boy, being a human must be fun", said Hamtaro a few hours later. "They get to run, play, and do whatever they want."

Bijou nodded. "I agree. Humans look so fabulous in each type of fashion."

Oxnard sighed. "I wish I could be human to see what it's like."

Dexter rolled his eyes and said, "That would be impossible. Although I'd really like to see what Pashmina would look like as a human."

Howdy gave Dexter a slight whack with his broom. "That's my idea!", he growled angrily.

"Whatever", said Boss. "We can only be humans in our dreams. It's a human thing. I guess we'll never know what it feels like. We can't just wake up in our beds the next morning to find that we're human." Everyone sighed.

"But I guess it's not so bad being a ham-ham", said Pashmina cheerfully. "We don't have to buy our own sunflower seeds, we could just gather them here."

Everyone nodded and agreed. By the time their conversation about human life was over, it was late. The Ham-Hams went home into their cages in their owner's house and fell asleep.

Hamtaro woke up the next day. Pushing his blankets aside, he scanned across his room. There was a cage at his feet. A brown hamster with a pale face and stomach came out. It looked slightly familiar. Small, yellow ribbons were holding some of the hamster's fur into ponytails.

"Good morning, Laura", said Hamtaro, taking a drink of water. When he realized that Laura was a hamster, he quickly spat the water out.

"LAURA?!", gasped Hamtaro. The hamster looked at him and blinked. She was munching on a sunflower seed.

"OH, NO!", yelled Hamtaro. "LAURA'S A HAMSTER!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE STARTED THAT CONVERSATION YESTERDAY!" He was silence by a knock on the door.

"Wake up, Hamtaro", a woman's voice was saying. Hamtaro pulled a shirt over his legs.

"No, that's not the way Laura does it!", mumbled Hamtaro. Using his human instincts, he tried the many combinations of putting on his shirt right. After 10 minutes, he managed to put his clothes on correctly. He ran down to breakfast and ate it. Then he tried to go behind the bed to his tunnel. There was no tunnel there.

"Wait, if I'm human", said Hamtaro, "then the portal doesn't exist. There is no clubhouse. It's time to start acting like a human." He walked out the door and was greeted by a pretty girl with two ponytails.

"Bonjour, Hamtaro! Is that you?", asked the girl in her French accent.

"Bijou?", asked Hamtaro. The girl nodded.

"Maria's a hamster!", cried Bijou. "My owner has been turned into a hamster! Also, does this outfit make me look bad?"

"Not at all, Bijou,"said Hamtaro, gazing at Bijou. Laura's been turned into a hamster! Everyone's acting as if we were human all along! I think we're the only ones sane around here!"

"Hamtaro!", called a voice. 3 girls ran over to Hamtaro. One had mocha-colored hair and was wearing a pink scarf. The second one was quite small and was wearing a yellow sundress. The last one was wearing a sports watch and a pair of jeans. A red ribbon tied her hair into a ponytail. The one with the ponytail jogged over to Bijou's side.

"Hamtaro, it's me, Sandy, remember?"

"Yeah! Things are weird here! I think Oxnard's wish came true!"

"Ookyoo!" cried the tiny girl, pulling frantically on the first girl's skirt.

"Oui, I remember you, Penelope," said Bijou. She looked at the girl with the wavy mocha-colored hair that was wearing the pink scarf. "I remember you too, Pashmina."

"Thank goodness", said Pashmina with a sigh. "What happened? Why are we humans?" Sandy pulled out her ponytail, and retied it again with her crimson ribbon, except she tied it much tighter so that the ponytail wouldn't come loose. "Well, we'll never know", answered Sandy, also sighing.

"Look, it's Hamtaro and the others!", called a different voice. 3 boys walked over. One was wearing a pair of glasses. One was holding a broom and wore an apron. The last one was wearing a large green cap. It was Dexter, Howdy, and Cappy.

"My, you're looking real lovely today, Pashmina", said Howdy, gliding over to Pashmina.

"No way! I saw her first!", argued Dexter, pushing Howdy away.

"Things are weird so far!", complained Cappy. "One of my owners turned into a hamster."

"The same thing's happening to the rest of us!", replied Sandy. Someone grabbed her shoulder.

"AHHHH!" yipped Sandy. She turned around quickly and saw a familiar boy holding a thick book. Behind him were 3 boys. One looked exactly like Sandy, except it was the male version of her. Another was wearing a panda t-shirt. The last one was fat and his coat pocket was filled with sunflower seeds.

Maxwell looked at Sandy's startled and confused face. "Don't scare me like that", said Sandy nervously.

Maxwell jerked his hand back. "I apologize for frightening you, Sandy", he said. Sandy's eyes widened.

"Maxwell?" she asked softly.
"
Yes, Sandy?"

"It's you, isn't it?"

"Definitely."

"You look better as a human." Sandy giggled. Maxwell blushed. Soon, they were found embracing each other.

Stan ran his fingers through his slicked short hair and slid over to Pashmina and Bijou.

"You chicks look great even as humans!", said Stan, grinning, as he wrapped his arms around them.

"Maxwell, could you excuse me for a second?", asked Sandy, pulling away slightly.

"Certainly", replied Maxwell. Sandy reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her long ribbon. Using her ribbon wand, she wrapped it at her flirting twin. The ribbon wrapped around Stan's waist, and with a slight jerk, Sandy pulled him over.

"Aw, Sandy!" moaned Stan.

"You better watch out for Boss, Dexter, and Howdy", whispered Sandy. "I'm just helping you. I'm saving you from getting a few ugly bruises from them. You don't want to get a black eye, don't you?"

"Gee, thanks, Sandy", said Stan sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "They were starting to like me as a human."

"Bijou!" a voice called. "You look fabulous!" A tall boy wearing a funky hat and holding a shovel met up with the group.

"Merci beaucoup, Boss", giggled Bijou.

"Where's Snoozer?" asked Hamtaro.

"He's still in my house, dozing", groaned Boss. "Anyway, WHY ARE WE HUMANS?! THIS IS SCARY!"

"We know, Boss", said Maxwell. "Something's made Oxnard's wish come true. We've become humans and our owners became our hamsters. But the question is, what made it happen?"

A strum from the guitar startled the group. They turned their heads toward the sound. A boy holding a red guitar slowly played the guitar. He inhaled and opened his eyes.

"When you have a problem", said the boy, (who was actually Jingle), "start at the source."

"Thanks, Jingle", said Hamtaro.

Stan walked over to Pashmina's side. He pulled out a pink rose from his pocket and gave it to her. Behind him an irate Howdy and a furious Dexter steamed behind his back.

"Oh, Stan, that's so sweet of you!" cried Pashmina.

"Anything for you, babe", replied Stan with a large smile. Pashmina returned his grin with her trademark movie-star smile. The group kept looking around and at themselves.

"I wonder when we'll get used to this", wondered Panda.

"I guess we'll never know", answered Cappy.

"Ookyoo!" agreed Penelope.

"Funny, you look just like you did when you were a hamster", said Hamtaro. Everyone laughed.

"I just can't wait to go back to my house!" cried Bijou. "I've got tons of outfits to try on!"

"It looks like we're all happy here", chirped Panda.

"Sandy, would you like to come over and read this new book I've got?" asked Maxwell.

"Sure, Maxwell", replied Sandy, blushing.

"I've got an idea!" suggested Bijou. "Let's all have a sleepover party at my house! I've seen Maria do that all the time. Let's bring our owners, too! It's just a celebration of finally seeing what humans can do."

"Pashmina, what do you think of this outfit?" asked Bijou.

"Bijou, ever since you've become a human, you've been wearing so many outfits that your closet looks like the explosion at the mall."

"I guess fashion is her passion", giggled Sandy.

"Ookwee!" agreed Penelope.

"Relax, it's just a party", said Pashmina.

"I know, but Hamtaro will be there. What will he think of me?"

"He'll just think you're a great friend." Bijou's closet was a large room stuffed with expensive clothing and accessories. There was even a full-length mirror. It was only 20 minutes until the party, and Bijou wanted to make a good impression of herself.

"What color am I like?" asked Bijou.

"Well..." said Pashmina and Sandy slowly. The only color they've ever seen Bijou in was blue and white.

"Blue and white?" suggested Pashmina.

"Great idea!" said Bijou with a smile. She ran back into her closet and dragged out a few skirts and shirts. Then, she stopped. "Aren't you guys getting dressed?"

"Ookyoo?" asked Penelope, confused.

"I mean, you want to impress your boy-hams, don't you?"

"Well..." said Pashmina and Sandy together again, looking at each other nervously. If they said no, Bijou would still try to make them force down into a "decent" outfit.

"I guess a few shirts could do", sighed Sandy, giving up.

The boys were all at Bijou's door. The only problem was that Boss was in the front and he was too nervous to even give the door a slight knock.

"Boss-man? What are you waiting for?" asked Stan.

"I'm going to do it!" growled Boss.

"That's what you said a few minutes ago", said Howdy.

"To be precise, it's 4 minutes, 52 seconds, 7 milliseconds, and 15 nanoseconds", calculated Maxwell.

"Same difference", grumbled Howdy. Boss was about to give the door a slight pound, but his fist froze in the air.

"I'll do it, Boss", volunteered Cappy.

"No!" hissed Boss. "I'm the boss of you, so I'll do it!" Instead of his fist pounding against the door or pressing the doorbell, his fist still disobeyed Boss by freezing in place. All of the boys except for Boss sighed.

"Bijou, I'm going to get the boys", said Sandy. "They're 10 minutes late. I'm starting to worry."

"We'll come along with you", replied Pashmina.

"Ookwee!" said Penelope triumphantly. They raced to the front door and Sandy pulled the door open. To their surprise, all of them were there.

"O... kay...", said Pashmina slowly.

"Hey, Pashmina-babe", said Stan, walking in.

"Yuck, stop flirting", teased Sandy. Stan rolled his eyes at his sister. The group darted upstairs and into Bijou's room. There, they did the same thing they did at the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. Stan still flirted with Pashmina while Dexter and Howdy sent glares to Stan. Maxwell and Sandy curled up at a corner and snuggled together while reading a book. Cappy was still looking around Bijou's room to find something he could put on his head.

"Bonjour, Hamtaro!" cried Bijou, jogging over to him. "Do you like this outfit?"

"Sure thing, Bijou", said Hamtaro, smiling. "It looks great on you!" Bijou blushed, but Boss cut in.

"Bijou, ma cherie!"

"Boss, I didn't know you spoke French!", said Hamtaro, astonished.

"Bijou", said Boss. "You look very beautiful tonight."

"Merci, Boss", said Bijou. She ignored Boss and had an engaging conversation with Hamtaro. Boss tried to compliment her or ask her any questions, but Bijou answered Boss and then started talking to Hamtaro again. Boss walked gloomily to a corner and sulked.

"Boss, what's wrong?" asked Cappy.

"Nothing, Cappy-boy", replied Boss.

"I know when something's wrong. And something's wrong. Now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. J-just leave me alone, okay?" "Whatever you wish, Boss-man." Cappy walked away to play with Penelope.

Sandy pulled out her loose ribbon and tied her hair back up again. She was on the last page of Maxwell's book. When she was done reading, she said", Maxwell, that's a great story."

"I'm glad you think so, Sandy", replied Maxwell, smiling. "Want to read another one?"

"Okay." They were cuddled up, with Maxwell's arm around Sandy, reading a new book.

"Stan, what if I told you that I liked you?" asked Pashmina, smiling.

"Well, I'd be happy?" guessed Stan.

"Okay, then... I like you", said Pashmina, this time blushing.

"I knew you did", replied Stan, returning back her smile.

"Shhh!" hissed Pashmina. "Dexter and Howdy are coming." They both held their breath at the same time as Howdy and Dexter walked past them. Pashmina sighed in relief. Stan ran his hand through Pashmina's wavy hair. He looked up at Sandy. Sandy wasn't even paying attention to him.

Hamtaro woke up the next morning on his bed. The party had been a blur. Sure, it was fun, but everyone went home at 9:30 PM. Hamtaro leaped out of bed and got dressed.

The days flew by, similar to the first. First, Hamtaro would wake up, get dressed, brush his teeth, wash his face, eat breakfast, and go out the front door. Bijou would greet him there, and the rest of the girls would meet him in the park. The rest of the guys would meet the group near the school, and they'd start their day. Hamtaro had never been this happy, until...

"SCHOOL?!" moaned Hamtaro that night.

"Yes, son, you're starting school tomorrow", said Mrs. Haruna. "If you don't want to walk, we've arranged carpool with your friends. School isn't so bad. It's not like an academy or boarding school, it's just a regular day of learning and fun."

"Wow, school! I can hardly wait!" Hamtaro never went to school, so he agreed to go. He could hardly wait to see what it's like.

"Hamtaro!" cried Bijou when Hamtaro opened his front door. She was wearing some sort of "snazzy" school outfit. A shoulder backpack was resting on her shoulder, filled with school supplies.

"All right, Bijou, to the park!" cried Hamtaro. As their group grew with their friends, Hamtaro heard some kind of bell ringing.

"Oh, no! We're late!" groaned Hamtaro, running onto the school campus. Inside the school hall, Hamtaro ran to a man and asked", Where is room 512?"

"Cheer up", replied the man. "It's over here." He pointed down the hall.

"Thanks!" yelled Hamtaro, bursting down the hall with his friends.

"513! There's your classroom, Penelope!" said Pashmina quickly. Penelope nodded and ran through the door.

"Who are you guys?" asked the teacher. "You're late."

"I'm Hamtaro", said Hamtaro. He pointed to Bijou. "This is-"

"Bijou," interrupted Bijou. Everyone recited their names and rushed to their empty desks. Mr. Akuryou wrote something in his attendance book and teacher's status report.

"I'm Mr. Akuryou", said the teacher. "You guys are late, but since it's the first day of school, I'll let you by."

"Thanks", chorused the group.

"Pop quiz!" yelled Mr. Akuryou. The students grabbed their pencils and a sheet of paper out and started writing the answer as soon as Mr. Akuryou called out the number.

"Eleven to the 10th power!"

"Eleven to the 10th power! I never learned that!" thought Hamtaro. His mind was racing, but using his human instincts, he wrote down the answer, according to what "he had learned in the past."

"8.5 divided by 3.4 minus .01 to the 5th power!"

Hamtaro felt like he had a headache. Feeling his forehead, he did the math on his paper and quickly wrote down the answer.

"I don't get this!" whispered Bijou to Pashmina.

"Bijou! Pashmina! No talking!" ordered Mr. Akuryou. Hamtaro felt like crying. Bijou and Pashmina sat still, dazed.

"14 times 56."

"14 times 56?" whispered Bijou again, this time to Hamtaro.

"Bijou! Do I have to tell you again? NO TALKING! Talk again and you owe me detention!"

Bijou slumped into her chair and fumbled with her pencil, nearly in tears.

Boss stared at the teacher angrily, gritting his teeth. He slammed his pencil down and grumbled, “LEAVE BIJOU ALONE!!!!"

"Boss!" cried Mr. Akuryou. "You're getting in trouble on the first day of school. I guess after school, you are going to have an extremely long and harsh talk with the principal."

Hamtaro felt a tap on his back by Pashmina's pencil. Hamtaro turned and Pashmina slipped a note into Hamtaro's hand.

"The teacher is mean. Bijou didn't do anything," was what the note said. A shadow fell over Hamtaro. A hand snatched away the note.

"I'll be taking that!" was Mr. Akuryou's response. "Passing notes when you are supposed to work. I tell you, this is NOT kindergarten. I run a tighter ship around here. Haven't you read my classroom policy? No talking during tests, no gum, no note passing, no horse playing, and respect others!"

"I'm sorry!" cried Hamtaro.

"Saying sorry isn't good enough. After class, you and Bijou need to write me an apology letter. If this happens again, then you will owe me a detention."

A few torturing weeks passed painfully. One morning, Hamtaro sighed, looking at Laura. Laura blinked at him. Hamtaro missed the way Laura always wrote in her journal every night, and that she'd share stories with him.

"Laura", thought Hamtaro. "I wish you were back. Things just aren't the same without you."

Hamtaro slowly got dressed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, ate breakfast and prepared for school. As he opened the door, he found a depressed Bijou standing there.

"Let's go to the park", muttered Hamtaro gloomily. After they reunited with the group, all of them burst, "I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"I miss my clubhouse!" cried Boss.

"I miss my hamster wheel", sighed Oxnard.

"Ookyoo!" moaned Penelope.

"I miss Laura!" yelled Hamtaro.

"I'M SORRY!" wailed Oxnard. "I WISH WE WERE HAMSTERS AGAIN!"

“Hamsters again... hamsters again... hamsters again..." Those words echoed in Hamtaro's mind. Hamtaro found that his eyes were closed. Opening them back up again he realized that he was n the Ham-Ham clubhouse. Looking around them, he heard them moaning. Penelope was on Cappy's head, who was next to Boss, who was laying down. Howdy's arm slumped over Boss's stomach. Dexter, who was next to Howdy, was lying forward. Stan's arm drooped on Dexter's back, and Pashmina was leaning on Stan. Sandy's head was resting on Maxwell's stomach, Snoozer was sleeping next to Maxwell, Jingle and his guitar resting next to snoozer, Oxnard laying on his side, Panda sitting, and Bijou leaning on Hamtaro's arm. Hamtaro looked at Bijou, then the other side of him, which was Cappy and Penelope. The Ham-Hams started waking up.

"Where are we?" asked Panda.

"I think we're at the clubhouse", answered Cappy.

"Ookyoo!" confirmed Penelope.

"Wow, what a weird dream", said Pashmina. "Talk about a nightmare."

"Zuzuzu", mumbled Snoozer.

"What did you dream about?" asked Boss.

"I dreamed that all of us were human."

"Wow!" giggled Sandy. "It's like, the same with me!"

"Me too!" chorused Cappy.

"I think we all shared the same dream", said Bijou.

"I don't think it was just a dream", said Maxwell. "It seemed real enough to me."

"Whatever it is", said Hamtaro, "I'm just glad to be my own ham-ham self!"

"I second that!" cried Dexter.

"Hamtaro, I had the weirdest dream", said Laura that night. "I dreamt that I was a hamster and you were a human!"

"Same here, Laura", thought Hamtaro, "but it wasn't just a dream."

"Hamtaro, today was fun, but tomorrow will be even better!" declared Laura, putting her journal and pen away.

"You said it, Laura!" thought Hamtaro.

"Good night, Hamtaro", yawned Laura, putting Hamtaro into his cage and closing it.

"Good night, Laura!" thought Hamtaro. "Sweet dreams!"