KEEPING FAITH

Parts 6-10

by Mrs. Nick B.

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Part 6

The following day Nick headed off early for work. Doctor James had stayed over in one of the guest rooms, since it was too late to go back to Stockton and she wanted to keep a close eye on her newest patients. Jarrod happily burst into the house startling the good doctor.

"Ah, good morning Doctor James, I see from your presence here that my brother Nick was right."

"I.I.I b.b.beg your pardon?" Her hand was at her throat, surprised by his outburst into the house. Agatha James was for the most part a very collected woman, but Jarrod Barkley for some reason, she had yet to fathom, turned her into a stuttering schoolgirl. She hated the reaction he caused her to have and admonished herself inwardly for her weakness.

"My vindictive brother took great satisfaction this morning rousting me from my slumber to inform me of the new additions to the Barkley clan." Jarrod continued, not noticing the fluster in the woman before him. "May I see them?"

"I, ah, I don't know, ah, they are...ah." Jarrod gave her a patient smile and waited for her to complete a sentence.

"Jarrod! Good morning! I bet you came to see the babies." Laura greeted him as she entered from the kitchen and gave Jarrod a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning Laura. Yes I did. Nick told me the good news early this morning."

"Follow me. They're beautiful; wait until you see them. Agatha, Silas is bringing our tea into the game room, I'll meet you there in a minute, just let me bring Jarrod upstairs."

"Yes, of course." Agatha agreed and dashed into the game room, hiding a scarlet face.

* * * * * * * *

Upstairs in Heath's old bedroom, Hope watched as her husband attempted to pin a diaper on one of his children.

"I think we gotta cut the cloth more Hope, it's still way too big." Heath complained.

"Here, try this one, I think it's smaller." Hope, laying in bed, gave Heath another diaper."

"This should work, we can give this diaper to Michael, he's a bit bigger."

"Not by much." Hope chuckled. Heath gave Hope a lopsided grin and leaned over the bed to give her a kiss.

"I love you sweet wife."

"I love you too dear husband."

Heath finished diapering his daughter and held her up for inspection. "Whatcha think?" The diaper slid off exposing the baby's bottom. Hope giggled at the sight and Heath joined in the laughter. "Oopps, sorry Leah. I suspect yer just gonna hafta grow into your three corner pants or your daddy's gonna have to learn to pin better."

"Here, take Michael, he's done, give Leah to me." Heath placed the baby in her mother's arms and took his son who was lying on the bed. A knock on the door brought Heath over to answer it with his son cradled in his arms.

"Good morning Heath. Jarrod is here, can we come in?" Laura asked.

"Yup, looks like Leah's decent again." Heath glanced over to the bed.

"Which one is this?" Jarrod smiled, pointing to the baby in Heath's arms.

"This is Michael Jenkins Barkley," introduced the proud father. "Michael this is yer Uncle Jarrod. Be careful now, he can talk yer ear off about as much as yer Uncle Nick can."

"I see my reputation precedes me. Hello Michael, welcome to the family." Jarrod cooed touching the child's chin with his finger. "Ah, look at that beautiful lady in the bed. I must go over and kiss her."

"This is Leah Margaret Barkley." Hope said proudly holding up her daughter. Jarrod moved over to the bed and bent down to see the little bundle.

"Actually I was talking about you pretty lady." Jarrod kissed Hope's cheek. "Congratulations Hope. She's as beautiful as her mother." For an instant the thought crossed Jarrod's mind that if things had been different between he and Hope that these children might have been his. It was only a few short years ago that he had courted Hope but it wasn't meant to be. He gave an unnoticed sigh of regret.

"Thank you Jarrod."

Jarrod sat himself by the bed. "I must say for a lady who just had twins, you look wonderful."

"I'll agree with that." Heath chimed.

Laura quietly excused herself from the room. She met Victoria in the hallway just outside Heath's room.

"How are the children?"

"Wonderful. Jarrod is in there visiting."

"Good, I think I'll go see him."

"And take another peek at your new grandchildren as well." Laura teased.

"Of course." Victoria smiled proudly. "Silas brought the tea tray into the game room, Agatha is waiting for you."

"Thank you."

"Is anything wrong Laura?"

"Not at all. I just wanted to talk about a few personal things with her. Thank you for understanding Victoria." She gave her forearm a friendly squeeze.

"Of course." Victoria watched as her daughter-in-law whisked down the hallway. She couldn't help being curious when Laura had asked her if she could have a private tea with the doctor, before she left the house. Her daughter-in-law had confessed that she had wanted to consult the doctor some time ago and this was the first opportunity she had to do so. Naturally Victoria acquiesced to Laura's wishes.

* * * * * * * *

Any normal morning would find Laura Barkley dressed in her dark brown riding outfit for her usual morning ride, but today, she wore a summery long pale green dress with short sleeves, and a slightly off the shoulder deep cut bodice. She intended to stay home to help Hope with the children. She knew it would be a few days before Hope and Heath were ready to move back into their own home and she wanted to enjoy the new additions to the family while they were still under her roof. She entered the game room, and greeted the doctor with her usual smile.

"Thank you so much Aggie for taking the time to have tea with me. It's so seldom we get to talk alone, without one of us pressed for time with one appointment or another. Don't you think?" She sat on the red settee and beckoned the doctor to do the same by patting the seat next to her.

"Yes that's true, but lately you seem more pressed for time than I am, unfortunately." Answered the gray eyed doctor, a tone betraying a disappointment for still not having a significant number of patients since Doctor Merar's departure.

Laura patted her hand as she sat beside her. "That will change Aggie, you'll see. People will eventually come to you when they're ill. And when word gets around that you helped to safely deliver Hope and Heath's twins then you will be well on your way to a flourishing practice." She poured the tea. "Cream?"

"Yes please." She held out the dainty rose patent china cup. "Truly if it weren't for Hope and Carol I wouldn't have any patients at all. I have yet to see you in my office Laura." She hinted with her lips poised at the cup rim.

"Well, as I said, we are both so busy. Me with my library and you with your practice."

"Yes. You know of course Doctor Merar gave me your medical records."

"I'm sure that's a weighty file." Laura joked.

"And I've read every page of it."

"You must have been bored doctor."

"On the contrary, I found your medical history most interesting, and I had wondered when you were going to come by and speak to me about it."

"Speak to you? About what pray tell?"

"The headaches. Do you still suffer them?"

"Oh goodness no, at least not like before. I have them quite under control. I have for some time. They only occasionally flare up when I am under stress, but the pills Doctor Merar has given me have helped and I am sure I will come to you when I run out."

"You know of course I will still have to examine you first before I can give them to you."

"But why, you said you read my medical records?"

"True enough, but what kind of doctor would I be if I went by another doctor's diagnosis and not make my own?" Laura sighed.

"I hate being made a fuss over, I'm really very healthy and I am..." She paused when the door opened. Jarrod walked in with Colleen in his arms. The child was holding a shiny gold coin in her hand.

"Mama! Look what Uncle Jarrod gave me!"

"Sorry to interrupt your tea ladies, but this young lady and I have a date, but only with your permission Laura. I was hoping that I could take Colleen for her morning ride. It's such a lovely day and I have my morning free for the time being."

Laura walked over to her daughter and kissed her cheek. "Uncle Jarrod spoils you horribly Colleen Victoria."

"Now that's not true Laura. Colleen is not at all spoiled, she's very well behaved and an absolute angel. Isn't that right my princess?"

"Uncle Jarrod is always right Mama." The little girl said gleefully as she correctly repeated what her Uncle had taught her.

"Hmm, sounds like you prompted the witness counselor." She teased him.

"Me! Prompt a witness?! Never! Now do I have your permission Fair Lady, or do I have to cajole you more?" He said with a wink.

Laura turned to the doctor who had stood the minute Jarrod walked in. "You must remember one thing Agatha about the men in this family, they are all scoundrels to one degree or another. Little Michael will grow into one in time." Laura kissed her daughter's cheek. "Very well, you may take her but please make sure the belt on the saddle is secure."

Since Colleen's unfortunate fall from her pony the year before Uncle Heath had fashioned a leather safety belt for the little girl's saddle.

"I promise, and don't worry I'll have a hold of the lead," turning to the child, "Colleen go upstairs and have Guadalupe help you change into your riding clothes. I'll wait in the parlor for you."

"All right Uncle Jarrod!" She said excitedly as she accepted a kiss from him. After she disappeared from view Jarrod turned his attention toward his sister-in-law.

"I almost forgot to tell you; I have good news. I sold your father's house and I got a pretty penny for it."

"Really? Whom did you sell it to?"

"Actually I sold it to a company located in Nevada. I think they bought it as an investment. They told me they were planning to branch out into California. My guess is they are trying to establish residency here for tax purposes I would suspect."

"Then they don't plan on using the ranch at all?"

"Probably as a rental. Anyway next time you're in town, please come by the office so you can sign the transfer deed. No rush, anytime will do."

"Very well, I will. Thank you Jarrod for handling that for me."

"Not at all, I'm glad we finally got rid of it. I know it's been in back of your mind."

"Yes it has."

"Well, again ladies, sorry for the interruption. Doctor James, good day to you."

"Mister Barkley." She bowed to him as he left them alone again. Laura turned back to her guest and noticed her blushing as she stared at the door Jarrod had just departed from.

"Aggie? Aggie? Agatha?"

"Huh, what?" The doctor was aroused from her stupor.

"You seemed miles away just now. Are you well?"

"Oh yes, I was just ah, noticing Jarrod's blue eyes."

"I beg your pardon?"

"His eyes, they're... ah.... Well, they are the same color as Colleen's. They could almost be father and daughter, they look so much alike." She said, trying unsuccessfully to change the subject.

"Well they're not!" Laura said hotly.

"Oh, I didn't mean to imply that they were! I'm sorry, I only meant that, well, the family resemblance is quite uncanny. How sad he won't have any children of his own. The way he dotes on your daughter I know he would be a wonderful father. It's so unfair, Jarrod should have children, don't you think so?"

"I suppose." Laura gave her a doubtful look. "Agatha, are you smitten with Jarrod?"

"What! Oh my goodness! How could you say such a thing? He's a married man!"

"Yes I know; but the fact is, he is a handsome man. No woman could deny that, even if he is married." She pressed with a teasing smile.

"I have no interest in him! Why my goodness! His wife is my patient after all!"

"Yes, and didn't you say, 'he won't have any children'? Does Carol come to you for those vile herbs she takes?"

"Absolutely not! I don't deal with such things. She has some Chinese chemist in San Fran..., oh my God! I can't believe I betrayed a patient's confidence! What must you think of me?" Agatha blushed furiously as she covered her face with her hands.

"Please don't concern yourself Agatha. I know all about Carol's herbs and potions. She's told me enough about them, as well as that french contraption she uses after..., well, I'm sure you know about it." Laura turned away to hide her blush. She went back to the settee to pour more tea. "I can only surmise that poor Jarrod knows nothing of them. We women can be so devious at times, can't we?" She said covertly.

"Surely you don't indulge in such things?" Asked the doctor.

"Oh good Lord no! Never. I want children, very much so. It's just that I haven't been able to..," She stopped in mid-sentence hesitantly biting her lip "You see Agatha...., doctor, that's why I wanted to speak to you. That's why I arranged this little tea party."

"I don't understand."

"As I said, I haven't been able to give my husband children."

"You mean little Colleen isn't...?"

"Certainly not!" She cried out indignantly. "Colleen is most assuredly Nick's child!"

"I'm sorry, forgive me. I misunderstood." The doctor dipped her head in embarrassment and sat back down on the settee.

"I meant, since Colleen. It's been over four years now, I should have been expecting again by now."

"Well, there are many reasons why you have yet to conceive. Possibly your relations with your husband are not frequent enough."

"Oh they're frequent enough, of that you can rest assure." The unmarried doctor attempted to hide her coloring cheeks and forced a professional expression to surface.

"Then possibly your feminine cycle is off."

"No, I am like clockwork, twenty-eight days to the day, always, and without fail." Laura said with a tinge of disappointment.

"How very fortunate for you. Not all women could boast of such a female calendar."

"I know, in that I am quite fortunate; but therein lies the problem." Laura daintily sipped her tea.

"I'm sorry, you lost me." The doctor placed her now empty teacup on the table before her. She folded her hands on her lap to show that Laura had her undivided attention. Inwardly she wished the conversation, which now seemed to have turned into a medical consultation, had taken place in her office so that her medical notes were at hand.

Laura was seldom at a loss for words but now she found that speaking about the intimacy she shared with her husband with the unmarried woman doctor to be awkward indeed. Not that she hadn't spoken of such things in the past: first she had spoken to Nick's mother before her wedding, then later she spoke about certain intimate details with Nick's former paramour Belle Blakesen, the saloon hostess; but now to be speaking to this doctor was a little disconcerting.

"Laura, please do go on. Despite my unfortunate revelation previously, I assure you what you say will not go any further. I promise."

"Oh doctor, it's not that, truly. It's just that, it's a bit embarrassing to talk about."

"Take your time."

"You see, Nick and I would love to have more children and often Nick says to me..." She paused, closing her eyes, surprised at her own shyness toward the subject. "He says, 'lets make a baby'." She spoke in an almost inaudible whisper. "And when that time of the month comes around again, we are both disappointed."

"And he expresses his disappointment by drinking." The doctor said tersely.

"I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to; I've seen it."

"How dare you judge him!" Laura's voice became shrilled. "What do you mean you've seen it? Seen what?!" Her blue eyes glowed with anger toward the doctor. Laura considered this woman her friend but her volatile temper flared when anyone dared to criticize her Nick in any way. However the doctor resolutely carried on.

"When I arrived here last night, your inebriated husband met me at the door."

"It was a long day! He was worried about Hope!" Laura defended hotly.

"Really? When I arrived he didn't know why I was here until I reminded him of Hope."

"He was exhausted, perhaps he had a momentary lapse of memory." She continued her defense.

The doctor placed a calming hand on her friend who was feeling the effects of rising anger. "Dear Laura, a momentary lapse of memory is often due to excessive drinking. I know you feel that your husband can do no wrong, so therefore you must be at fault; but dear, it doesn't work that way. I have met so many women who fall into that same trap. Women who are unhappy in their marriages with abusive or drunkard husbands."

"I am not unhappy and my husband is not abusive or a drunkard and I won't have you speak of him that way!" Laura stood from her seat and walked away from her now unwelcome guest. A loud heralding of Laura's name from the foyer stopped any further conversation between the two women. The booming sound caused the dark auburn haired woman to startle.

"Oh my God, does he always enter the house like that?" Laura smiled at the doctor with a glow of pride.

"Always. Excuse me." She quickly exited the room to answer her husband's summons.

"Ahh, there you are! I thought you would be home." A smile curled his lips when Nick caught sight of the low cut bodice on his wife's summery pale green dress. "Well look at you. I don't believe I've seen you in that before."

"This thing, it's really an old house dress, nothing special." Her eyes crinkled at his approving smile.

"You sure fill it out well Milady." His arms reached around to gather her waist in an embrace.

"You haven't called me that in ages." She rewarded him with a kiss on his cheek.

"Really? Well, you know you'll always be my lady." He leaned down to give her a deeper kiss.

"What are you doing home? It's too early for lunch." She said after reluctantly breaking away from his kiss.

"I did come home to talk to Heath but now seeing you in that dress I'm having other thoughts." He traced a gloved finger along the top of the low cut bodice. A not too subtle cough cautioned them that they were not alone. Nick's glance met the coughing intruder. "Oh, I see you're still here." Nick still refused to address the woman as doctor and he knew that she would object verbally to being called Miss James so he settled it in his mind by calling her nothing at all.

"Yes Mr. Barkley I'm still here. I was just enjoying tea with your good wife. But if you'll excuse me now I will attend to my patients upstairs." Nick's eyes followed the young woman up the stairs. When she had disappeared into the curtained hallway, Nick's eyes trailed back to his wife.

"When is she leaving?"

"Today, once Heath and Hope feel comfortable with the twins."

"Good, I hope it's soon."

"Don't you like her?"

"It's the other way around; she doesn't like me." Nick said resolutely.

"I'm sure that's not true."

He headed into the parlor glancing back to answer. "Trust me, it is, I can tell these things." He began to pour a whiskey from a decanter. Laura moved quickly and stopped his arm from raising the amber liquid to his lips.

"Nick, it's a bit early for a drink don't you think?"

"It's only one. I'm working up a sweat out there. I'm doing Heath's job as well as my own."

"I understand that sweetheart, but wouldn't a lemonade quench your thirst just as well?"

"What is this, ya joined the Ladies Temperance League too now?" He snarled.

"Don't be silly, of course not. I just thought a lemonade would be more satisfying."

"Yeah, well, it's not!" He brought the hot mixture to his lips and drank it down. Laura chewed on her bottom lip, her mind searching for another course of action.

* * * * * * * *

Several days later:

"Pretty please Uncle Heath?"

"Honey I'm afraid we can't." Heath was on his haunches speaking to his niece. Colleen's small arms were clamped around his neck, and she blinked doefully into his eyes.

"But ya got two." Her plea made Heath chuckle quietly.

"Sweetie I know but we want them both."

"We'll take Leah, she cries alot more than Michael that way you can sleep at night."

"Well, now I appreciate the kind thought Colleen honey, I really do, but your Aunt Hope is just as partial to Leah as she is to Michael so I don't think she'll go for it."

"Talk to her. You can do it. Please Uncle Heath." She begged with a tighter squeeze around his neck.

"Now I'll tell ya what I will do, I'll make you a promise. I promise I'll bring Michael and Leah here every Sunday and you can play with them and sometimes your Mama will bring you to our house and you can play with them there. How's that?"

Before she could answer the front door opened and her father's voice was heard. "Hey, is that my pixie face with her arms around another fellar?! What's going on here?!"

"Papa!!" The blue eyed child released her Uncle from the choking grasp and ran into her father's waiting arms. He scooped her up and washed her face with kisses. Heath stood and smiled as he watched his brother. He looked forward to the day when his own children would be old enough to greet him in the same fashion when he came home from a long day of work.

"So what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into today little girl?" He asked smiling at his daughter.

"No trouble Papa, honest, but ya gotta talk to Uncle Heath." Nick gave his blond brother a questioning look. Heath answered with a lopsided grin.

"What's this about?"

"I want Uncle Heath to leave Leah so she can be my baby sister. Talk to him Papa, make him do it." At such a young age, Colleen believed there wasn't anything her father couldn't do and Nick hated to destroy his daughter's illusion.

"Colleen, Uncle Heath and Aunt Hope are not going to give you one of the twins. Now we've talked about this last night."

"But I want a baby to play with. They got two why can't we have one?"

Heath started up the stairs. "If you'll excuse me I've heard this argument already. I'm gonna get my family for the trip home."

Nick carried his daughter to the parlor and sat down with her on his lap. Colleen jutted out her bottom lip with her azure eyes threatening tears.

"Now I want you to listen to me young lady. You can't have Uncle Heath's babies for your own. They belong to Uncle Heath and Aunt Hope."

"Why can't I have a baby to play with too?"

"Don't you have enough toys to play with?"

"But I don't have a baby to play with, just pretend babies. Papa why can't we have a baby?"

"Someday Colleen, maybe someday. We can't always have what we want you know. Where's your mother?"

"She's upstairs helping Aunt Hope get the babies ready. Make them stay Papa, please? You can do it!"

"Honey I can't make them stay, besides they have their own house to go to."

"But this house is big enough."

"I know but they want to live in their own house."

"It's not fair!" She leaned back on her father's lap and crossed her arms over her chest, imitating her father's familiar stance. Nick sighed as he forced himself to gather in more patience.

"Life's not always fair Colleen, and you can't always get what you want. Now stop that pouting and go play in your room." He said exasperated.

"But you promised to take me for a ride on Starlite!"

"I'm keeping my promise, you can have a ride after we eat, now get upstairs." He set her down on the floor. She still held her arms across her chest.

"I'm mad!"

"Fine, go be mad in your room. Scoot, now." The little girl stood defiantly and stamped her feet on the floor. Her curls bouncing wildly as she did so.

"Darn, darn, darn!"

"Colleen. Now! Move!" Her eyes overflowed with tears as she rushed upstairs to her room. Nick gave an exasperated sigh as he stood, moved over to the bar table and poured himself a generous drink. "I really needed this today." He mumbled to himself.

Victoria entered the room carrying a large basket. "Hello sweetheart. I didn't know you were home."

"Hello Mother, what's all that?"

"I put together some food stuffs for Heath and Hope to take on their way. Their taking the twins home today and I thought it would be good if they didn't have to worry about fixing something to eat."

"They don't want to eat here before they leave?"

"No, I suspect Hope is anxious to get settled back in her own home. They hired a baby nurse from the Mission who is wonderful with babies. Poor Hope will need all the help she can get with two babies."

"Yeah, I guess so." He swallowed the remainder of his drink

"What's wrong dear?"

"Nothin', just tired, it was a long day. Coco didn't seem himself today so we took things a little slow."

"Dear Coco, he's getting on poor dear." She set the large basket on a nearby table.

"Yeah well, we all are." He refreshed his drink.

"Why didn't you take Big Duke today?"

"I would have but he's still nursing that left leg of his."

"Still? I thought he would have been better by now."

"Yeah, I think I'm going to have the vet look after it tomorrow."

Sounds from upstairs interrupted any further talk as the newest Barkleys came down in the arms of their parents for their trip home.

Part 7

C.B. Holister was a statuesque woman with brilliant blue eyes, and flowing blonde locks. Men's heads often turned when she walked by. She had grace and elegance to spare, but most people were put off by the mere fact that she was an educated woman, an attorney, who was quick-witted and known for her sharp tongue. Many couldn't understand why Jarrod Barkley was attracted enough to make her his wife, but he was never one to be intimidated by an intelligent woman and that was to his credit. Jarrod loved the challenge of bantering with his beautiful wife and felt fortunate that she would agree to their marriage. Carol Baelee Holister was a woman who truly belonged to a more modern world but fate chose to place her in the wrong century.

C.B. walked around her desk, shaking her head as she read the letter in her hand.

C. B. Holister

Barkley-Holister Law Offices

Stockton, California

Dear Carol,

Sorry for the delay in answering your inquiry. Even though I am no longer a doctor there I still retain my doctor-patient confidentiality. I cannot help you with your request about Mrs. Sally Driscoll's past injuries or how they came about. Without her written release I am bound by this confidence; as an attorney I know you will appreciate my position. I will caution you about your pursuit in this matter. It could be unwise for both you and Mrs. Driscoll. Thank you for understanding.

Howard T. Merar, M.D.

San Diego, California

Carol crumpled the letter in her hands and threw it into the wastebasket. "I still have an ace up my sleeve doctor. Thanks anyway."

For weeks now C.B. had been cultivating a trusting relationship with Sally Driscoll with one idea in mind; to make her a test case for the Bannard bill that she helped write, that was soon to be introduced in the state house in Sacramento.

Several times Carol had attempted to talk to the frazzled woman but she was always busy or her husband was within earshot in the back room. She had to find some way to make Sally Driscoll trust her. Carol always made her conversations light and friendly with the washerwoman. She spoke about her pro bono work with women's legal issues, explaining to the laundress that pro bono meant free to women who might need legal advice. Still, Sally Driscoll didn't bite at the attorney's bait.

Not one to give up easily, Carol devised another plan; this one was to have the woman come to her. She sent her secretary with a note to please have Mrs. Driscoll deliver Jarrod's laundered shirts to her office, and included in the note was a promise of a generous tip. The lady attorney hated being devious, but she was at her wits end; the Women and Children's Protection bill needed to be ready for introduction to the Senate before their summer recess.

* * * * * * * *

Sally stared forlornly into the cracked mirror hanging over the dresser. She pushed back the strands of dull hair that fell out of her tied back bun. She was only twenty-four but the lines around her sleep deprived eyes told a different story and added ten years. The bruise on her face had finally turned from black and blue to a greenish yellow, and if she had a sunbonnet she could have covered the mark her husband had gifted her the week before when she was too tired to service him. He was so angry he gave her the back of his hand and when that didn't satisfy his frustration he pummeled her into unconsciousness. When she awoke several hours later she crawled on her hands and knees into the bed they shared. Sam staggered in some time later reeking of cigars, liquor and cheap perfume from a midnight tryst at the local saloon. He had attempted to grope her but thankfully passed out before he could undo the buttons of his breeches and unceremoniously climb on top of her just as he did so many nights before.

She was hungry and normally she wouldn't venture out during the day, especially to the other side of town, where the more affluent residents of Stockton worked and lived, but hunger had made her swallow her pride. Sally hadn't eaten more than bread and tea for several days. Sam drank up most if not all of her earnings from her laundry duties and did his eating in the saloon because there wasn't any food in the house.

Mr. Swenson, the grocer, apologized but couldn't extend any more credit on the Driscoll's account, so it was a mixed blessing when Mrs. Barkley's secretary entered the little laundry shop with a note to deliver her husband's readied shirts to the law office. The promise of a tip made Sally's mouth water with the thought of a small slab of salt pork bought with that extra money.

* * * * * * * *

The timid rap on the door was heard only by the strain of ears but Carol had seen Mrs. Driscoll's arrival from her window and waited anxiously for the expectant knock. She had dismissed her secretary earlier as she wanted to be sure that Mrs. Driscoll would not be intimidated by another's presence. The laundress was greeted with a pleasant smile from the lady lawyer.

"Sally, how wonderful to see you again. Please come in. You are so kind to do me this favor and deliver my husband's shirts here. I can't tell you how easy you've made it for me. I have just been barraged with paper work today."

"I'm glad ta be of service to ya Mrs. Barkley." Sally placed the brown wrapped bundle on a nearby chair and turned to leave.

"Now Sally I thought we were friends and we agreed we would call each other by our first names. Please, you promised to call me Carol." She closed the door behind the washerwoman, forcing her to take several steps into the room.

"Ah, yes Ma'am, but..."

"Now, no buts, Carol, please. Won't you join me in a midday snack? I usually find myself famished this time of the day, don't you? Please sit down." Carol sat herself in a chair in front of her desk; a matching chair stood beside her with a small wooden serving table nearby. Sally Driscoll was hard pressed to keep her hunger at bay when she saw a silver tray laden with a generous array of small tea sandwiches and a variety of cakes.

"Oh no, I couldn't... I really must be goin'." She fought the dizziness brought on by an empty stomach.

"Please, I wish you would. I had the Stockton Inn deliver all this food special for a client I was expecting, but I just received a note that he wasn't coming and now I just couldn't let this food go to waste, and it wouldn't do me any good to bring it home because my husband is away on business and I would just have to throw it out. It would be such a shame, please don't force me to do that."

Well, maybe just a bit. Thank you." She leaned down to pick up one of the sandwiches.

"Oh no, please Sally, sit down. Surely you can spare a few minutes from your busy schedule. You would do me a great favor to sit and share tea with me. My sister-in-law who works at the library sometimes visits and we have a lovely conversation, but she's busy and I haven't conversed with one living soul today and I am heading to an empty house tonight. Please just sit and talk for a short while."

"Well, I suppose I could sit for a minute. Thank you kindly." Carol offered the tray to her. The shy woman timidly took one of the cakes. Although she wanted more, Sally was careful to take small bites. She felt very hungry, but she wanted to savor every morsel. Carol turned her face away when she spied the longing look in the poor woman's eyes.

"How do you take your tea Sally? I have cream, lemon, sugar?"

"Cream would be fine thank you." Carol poured the tea in dainty china cups. Sally very cautiously took the cup and saucer. Her hand nervously shook so she placed another hand under the saucer, which made it awkward for her to eat the sandwich.

"Oh forgive me, where's my manners? I neglected to give you a napkin." Carol slipped the napkin onto the woman's lap so she could rest the sandwich and saucer. Once she found the woman comfortable with her burden she began her seemingly guiltless questions. "Have you always lived in Stockton?"

"No, my people hail from Arizona."

"Oh isn't that interesting my sister-in-law Laura, is from Arizona originally. Do you know her?"

"No ma'am, not personally I ain't never had the pleasure. Though I seen her around. She's the gal at the library, she ain't the teacher right?"

"Yes, that's correct. My other sister-in-law, Hope, recently had twins. She's the teacher. Do you have children Sally?"

"Oh goodness no, not me." She shook her head animatedly for the first time since she walked into the office.

"You don't like children I take it?"

"Oh no, I like children fine, just, well, me and Sam never were blessed with 'em." She averted her eyes, staring into the half drunk tea.

"How long have you and Mister Driscoll been married?"

"Goin' on ta three years now." She looked intently at the tea cakes on the tray. Carol raised the tray up once again offering her more. But the woman shook her head, even though she had unconsciously licked her lips.

"Oh please have another. I would hate to see them wasted. Please help me eat these." Carol entreated.

"I suppose one wouldn't hurt my dinner." She lied and gingerly reached for a tea cake.

"How did you and your husband meet?"

"He came ta our town. He was prize fightin' then. I was a waitress at the..." She hesitated.

"The local cafe?"

"Actually it was the Ruby Rose." Carol gave her a non-judgemental smile, and it urged the woman on. "My Sam, he was winnin' lots of purses then and he was really tossin' his money around and ya know how people are; well, I told him he should save some of that money for when he wasn't doing so well, ya know. And Sam he sorta took a shine ta me, said I wasn't like any gal he ever met and well before ya know it we was married. I traveled around some with him after that." While she spoke she absently ate two more tea cakes. "I had a little nest egg that we lived on during the lean times and then Sam kinda liked Stockton as he's been here before and thought it might be nice iffen we settled here. Ya see, he had some friends here and they was gonna invest in a gymnasium, sort of, ta teach the art of boxin' ta boys."

"Like a school for fisticuffs?"

"Yes, like that, but the men my Sam got together with were sorta just big talkers and when it came down to the real work, well.... Anyway I started taking in washin' and sewin' ta make ends meet."

"And Sam? What does he do?"

"He sweeps out the livery stable some; looks after the horses, you know, things like that."

"Does he still plan to have that school for boys?"

"No Ma'am, we haven't a nest egg anymore. I guess I ain't really good at saving. Sam's always on me about not being able to run a house like a good wife should."

"Sam doesn't think you're a good wife because you can't save money?"

"Oh well, it ain't easy with the way things go up all the time. Prices are pretty high these days; it's not always easy."

Carol picked up the teapot. Her mind searching for a clear avenue to broach the subject of her husband's abuse, "More tea Sally?"

"Yes please, it's very good." She raised the tea cup to her hostess.

"Thank you. It's one of my few domestic talents. I do make a good pot of tea." A genuine smile came over Sally's face as she began to feel comfortable in the elegant woman's presence. The smile made the bruise on her face more pronounced and C.B. took it as a sign.

"That bruise on your face looks like it still hurts; does it?"

"Oh no, not at all!" She self-consciously covered it with the palm of her hand. "I'm kinda clumsy at times, is all. Really it's nothin'."

"Do you get hurt often Sally?"

"I'm just clumsy." She apologized. C.B. gave her a hard stare. Sally sat back rigidly. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"Should I?"

"It's not what ya think you know!"

"What do I think Sally?" C.B. spoke as calmly as she could, trying to hide her excitement at getting to the heart of the matter so quickly.

"Ya know if I don't get back ta work I'll be very behind." She stood from the chair. Carol reached out to stop her. Sally winced at her touch. "Please don't touch me. I don't like being touched."

"Your husband touches you doesn't he?"

"Of course he does, he's my husband. I... I .. need to go. Please."

"You don't have to go Sally. You don't have to let him touch you if you don't want to. I can help you, please let me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She quickly moved toward the door but Carol stood and blocked her exit.

"Please let me help you. You don't need to suffer his beatings. I can help you have him arrested."

"My husband doesn't beat me! Someone's been tellin' ya lies."

"Really? Then how did you get that mark on your face Sally?"

"I fell, that's all. My Sam never touched me, he wouldn't!"

"Dr. Merar knows different though doesn't he? He's treated you many times for bruises, black eyes, broken bones..."

"I tell ya I'm clumsy! I never told Doc Merar any such thing! Never! It was his own ideas, he never got it from me! Never."

"Sally I'm an attorney; whatever you say to me will never leave this room. Sam will never know. I can protect you. Together we can go to the sheriff's office right now and swear out a complaint. I will hide you where you'll be safe from Sam. You'll never have to be hurt by him again."

"I don't know what you're talking about! Please let me leave!" She tried to grab the doorknob but Carol grasped her forearm and she cried out in pain. Sally faltered on her feet and held on to the wall to keep from falling. "OWW, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you! Please let me see your arm."

"No!" She pulled away, but Carol reached out again.

"Please, I promise not to hurt you. Let me see it, I'll be very gentle." The frightened woman held out her forearm. Carol unbuttoned the sleeve of the woman's dress and pushed it up. She winced at the sight. Sally's arm had deep cuts from a knife and the struggle between the women had opened up several of the wounds. Under the new cuts were dark ugly healed marks from past abrasions. "You can't tell me that was an accident. That looks like it was done with a knife."

The woman collapsed on the floor, weeping. "Please don't touch me, please. It hurts too much." But Carol did touch Sally. She sat on the floor and held her in a gentle embrace, and the two women wept together.

* * * * * * * *

Not far from the Barkley-Holister law offices was the Stockton Public Library and two women were also sharing their miseries. The gray haired woman angrily slammed the books down on the desk, causing the other, sitting behind the desk, to jump up with a start.

"Good Lord Dora! What's wrong with you?" Laura said brusquely pulling off her glasses.

"I might ask you the same thing Laura Barkley! Do you have any idea what these books are about? How could you possibly accept them?"

"I accept all book donations, you know that. But they don't go on those shelves for the public without one of us knowing what the books are about. Now I gave you those books to review. I haven't read them yet. That was your job. Now calm down and tell me what you found out about them."

"Where did you get these?"

"They are originally from England. The person who donated them assured me that they were considered classic literature in England."

"Well then, the English have a problem with what they consider classic literature!" The pinched faced woman sat down in front of the desk, crimson with anger.

"Would you like some tea Dora? I think it will help calm you down and we can discuss this rationally."

"I don't want tea. We need to talk about this."

"Very well Dora let's talk." A knock on the door interrupted any further discussion.

"Excuse me," She apologized to the angry librarian. "Come in please."

Heath Barkley stuck his head in, a tantalizing grin featured on his face. "I ain't interrupting some female take over of the town am I?"

"No Heath, fortunately we had that meeting yesterday at our secret underground armory."

"Ohh, sorry; I woulda come and sat in for Hope; she hates missing those strategy planning meetings."

"Congratulations on your children Mister Barkley." Dora Hamon smiled at the handsome new father. She remembered her own children, now grown, when they were just babies. "Are they sleeping through the night yet?"

"Not yet, it's just another thing we're lookin' forward to in the not too distant future, God willin'." Heath said with a wink. Laura stood up from her desk. She unconsciously spread the offending books on her desk.

"Dora, lets discuss this later, please." Laura led the woman to her office door. Heath held it opened for her, then as the ladies stood at the door he moved over to Laura's desk.

"You can be rest assured we will discuss this later. I can't imagine you would dare think to let those books on our shelves!" Dora complained.

"Dora I told you I haven't had a chance to look them over."

"Well, just wait until you do! Just wait!"

"Yes Dora, I promise you I will look at the books." Laura closed the door, shaking her head. "Honestly that woman."

Heath sat with one leg on the corner of Laura's desk staring at one of the books in question. Laura watched curiously as he turned the book upside down then right side up again, then turned it sideways. She furrowed her brow as she watched her brother-in-law.

"Heath? What are doing?" He didn't look up from the book as he spoke.

"Laura, exactly which shelf are you planning to put this book on?"

"I don't know. I haven't read that book yet." She stood with her arms folded in front of her.

"Good, don't." He slapped the book closed and stared at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"It ain't for your eyes. A lady shouldn't be lookin' at this."

"Well, Dora Hamon did. In fact that's why she was so upset before you came in. Exactly what is wrong with it?"

"I'm not surprised she was upset; ya don't see pictures like that everyday."

Laura moves toward Heath with a smile. "Now I have to see it!" Heath pulled the book away from her grasp.

"No you don't!"

"Heath! Stop! Come on, it can't be that bad." She grabbed at his arm as he lifted the book high up in the air. "Come on Heath! Let me see it!" She laughed as she grabbed at his shirt sleeve.

"No! Now stop! Go away!" He shielded her advances with his free arm. The two started laughing at what had become a childish game.

"Heath! It's my book!"

"Whatdya mean it's your book? What's a nice girl like you doin' with a book like this? Huh?" He mocked accusingly. "You should be ashamed Laura Meredith Barkley."

"Oh now I know you're teasing; it's not that bad. Give it to me!" Heath made a stop motion with his hand.

"All right! But don't say I didn't warn ya!" He handed her the book in question. She opened to where his finger bookmarked it, and gave out a loud gasp. It was a drawing a man and a woman having oral sex with the woman, facing forward, standing on her head.

"OH MY GOD!" She shouted as Heath peered over her shoulder.

"Tried ta warn ya. Those people are really limber huh?" She loudly slammed the book shut.

"OH MY GOD! No wonder Dora was upset!"

"Just what kinda books you women read at those meetings of yours?"

"Well certainly not this!" She vehemently defended herself.

"Boy howdy I hope not, cause I ain't lettin' Hope go ta no more, if that's one of them."

"I do have to talk to Dora later about this."

"Where did you get that?"

"That friend of Jarrod's Mister Landelle."

"I don't trust him."

"Why?"

"I don't know, just a feelin' I guess. Don't care much for the fact he hit Nick either."

"I know, I think he relished the idea of doing it."

"Ya think?"

"Yes. Did you know he followed me upstairs when I put Colleen back to bed? She left her bed during the party. He scared the life out of me." She said clutching her throat.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, just frightened me. When he came here he was obviously flirting with me, but I had the strangest feeling about him."

"What do you mean?"

"His flirting was like a, like a threat. I can't explain it. Oh I guess I was being too sensitive. I'm sure it was just my imagination." Heath grasped her hand in earnest.

"Now don't go thinkin' like that. Go with your feelings. Stay away from him."

"I'm sure he didn't really mean any harm, besides Nick came by and he left soon after that."

"Good, and speaking of Nick is he the reason you wanted to see me today?"

"Yes. It's about Hero. How is he coming with his training?"

"Let me tell you it's no easy feat trying to do this right under Nick's nose. Nothing gets past him concerning that ranch; if it wasn't for some of the ranch hands helping me we woulda been caught long ago."

"Stop complaining, we haven't been caught yet. When do you think he'll be ready?"

"He's ready now. That horse is smart. He senses what a rider wants and does it. I'll tell ya, he's gonna be ready for the next round up."

"That's good to hear. Nick needs a good horse."

"Yeah, I know he doesn't cotton to giving up Coco, and Big Duke is out of commission for a while according to the doc."

"He's riding Daisy today, but he still favors Coco, and you know Nick, he hates to give up on anything."

"So I take it you don't want to wait for your anniversary to give Nick the horse?"

"Well, I was hoping I could but Coco is not doing well lately. I just hate to see my knight without his trusty steed, and I think Hero would be a worthy replacement."

"No doubt about it, Hero is a fine piece of horse flesh. Nick's gonna love him."

"Thank you so much Heath for working with my horse. I know it wasn't easy for you to sneak around Nick and all, as well as do your own work. I owe you." She leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Well my birthday's coming up and Hope being busy with the twins and all, I sure have a hankerin' for some good raisin bread." His wink was followed by a crooked grin.

"It's a deal."

"At least four loaves."

"Don't push your luck!" Heath chuckled and stood up from leaning on the desk.

"Well if you don't have any more of your naughty books for me ta look over I guess I'll get back to the ranch. See ya." Heath slid on his hat.

"You're such a scoundrel Heath Barkley."

"So ya keep tellin' me." Heath winked as he left.

Part 8

Fifteen years he had been sheriff of Stockton. Another five and he was planning on retiring. He and Edith were looking forward to that time. Fred Madden knew there were easier jobs in the world than being a sheriff, and it was hardest on the sheriff's wife because she had to wait for her man to come home, hopefully in one piece; but for the most part Stockton was not a bad town, most of the residents were peaceful enough, except for a few rowdies that got out of hand on a Saturday night, or when the trail hands came in with a month's wages to drink up at the local saloons.

Tonight Fred Madden was doing the rounds alone. Billy, his deputy, was in Modesto delivering a prisoner there for trial. Usually Billy and he split up doing the rounds at night with the sheriff taking the low end of town where the poorer folk lived. Billy always took the waterfront. Fred wasn't as young as he used to be and he felt Billy could take care of any sailors who got out of hand there.

Out of sheer habit Fred started the low end first. He prayed that no one would have to be taken in this Saturday night because that meant he had to sleep at the jail rather than home with his wife, and he was looking forward to sleeping in a nice warm bed with Edith by his side. Tonight looked to be his lucky night. It was already two o'clock. The saloons were closed and the town was quiet. He walked by each storefront and office checking for forgotten unlocked doors when a single shot rang out in the still night. Stray dogs began to bark and the horses at the livery stable whinnied. The experienced sheriff knew the shot came from behind the stable. His thick legs began to jog toward the echoed sound. He cursed his knees as they creaked with every lumbering hard footfall. Behind the livery stable lights blinked on in the little shanty shacks, a few curious heads peered out from behind ragged curtains. A plump black woman came out behind a roughened door when she spied the sheriff and pointed a crooked finger to the shack two doors down.

The sheriff wasn't surprised. He had been there before. Sam Driscoll often came home liquored up and it looked as if this night was no exception. Fred drew his gun and slowly opened the door. Sam sometimes shot up the house when he was angry. Fred called out his warning.

"Driscoll! It's Sheriff Madden! Put your gun down! I'm coming in!"

No answer. He cautiously strolled in, his eyes adjusting to the poor light that came from the back room of the cottage. The room didn't have a door but a canvas covering nailed to the doorframe. Fred slowly pulled it back and again called out a warning.

"I'm coming in Sam! I better hear you drop that gun!" The sound of a gun hitting the floor gave the sheriff much needed relief. Gingerly Fred walked in with his gun still drawn. He squinted, adjusting again to the meager light. On the far right corner was an old brass bed covered with rumpled sheets. A man's hand dangled from the bed as in sleep with the only difference being blood dripping silently from its fingertips. His first instinct was to run to the victim but his professionalism told him to look for the shooter instead. His head turned to a small dark figure huddled in the corner. Fred held his breath. He thought at first it was another victim but the figure moved and sobbing sounds touched his old ears.

"Mrs. Driscoll? Is that you? Are you hurt Mrs. Driscoll?" Fred re-holstered his gun and grabbing a lit candle from a nearby soap box that served as a table, he held it up to the woman's form. Her arms were locked around her folded legs and tears made a trail from hideously bruised cheeks. The sheriff thought she was almost unrecognizable. Sally Driscoll had two black eyes, fresh blood dripping from her nose and a swollen upper lip. Her dress had been torn from the upper torso showing a flimsy chemise dotted with dry blood. She cowered in the corner. Fred noticed one of her bare feet was twisted in an odd angle.

Fred knelt down to the woman's eye level. "Mrs. Driscoll? Can you tell me what happened here?"

"My husband's dead." She sobbed.

"I know that ma'am. Can you tell me who did this?"

"I did it... I killed Sam..." Her sobs became louder and she buried her face in the crook of her arms.

* * * * * * * *

A searching hand reached across the bed but it found his pillow empty. Normally she wouldn't have worried about her husband but this evening his unusual quiet told her he had some weighty issue on his mind. For several nights he hadn't been sleeping well and she guessed he was downstairs having a nightcap. She always found it difficult to sleep without him beside her so Laura Barkley decided to join her husband. She slipped into her robe and slippers.

Nick was not to be found in the usual places so she entered the kitchen. It was there she noticed a dim light flickering from the barn across the yard. She tightened the sash on her robe and headed to the barn, not thinking to care of what unknown danger might be lurking outside. The source of the dim light was a kerosene lamp hung on a hook near Coco's stall. She found her husband sitting forlornly in front of the stall, leaning his back against a bale of hay, fingering the loose strands that were spread on the ground. She first called out to him so as not to startle him from his reverie, but he jerked a startled head toward her voice just the same.

"What are you doing coming out here all alone?" He said in a tone more harsh than he had intended.

"You weren't in bed and I saw the light here."

"It was dangerous for you to come out here in the middle of the night! Suppose there was some thief in here?" He chided.

"Thieves don't usually light a lamp when they're planning on stealing something. Mind if I join you?"

"Did you check on Colleen?"

"She's fast asleep; and why aren't you my Love?" She scooted down and sat beside him by the bale.

"Couldn't sleep is all."

"Neither could I." She waited quietly by his side for him to speak. They sat and watched Coco as he slept in his stall, occasionally moving about to take a nibble on some oats his master had given him in a hanging feedbag. Finally Nick interrupted the silence between them.

"When I was a little kid, barely out of diapers my father would take me for a ride on a very pretty little filly named Mae. She was chocolate with a flaxen mane and tail. She was a beauty and she was my first love." Laura smiled and let him continue uninterrupted.

"You see, even then I couldn't resist beautiful blondes." He teased. They took each other's hand and laced their fingers together. "Mae was a sweetheart of a horse and my father wanted a colt out of her. The first colt was as magnificent as she was. He was called Seven."

"Why Seven?" She asked.

"He had the good fortune to be born on my seventh birthday. Seven was a very strong, tough gelding, and proud. He really had an attitude. Father enjoyed riding him. Jarrod loved to ride him too. One day Jarrod took him to school but Seven wasn't happy there. Somehow he got untied from the post and Father found him back in his stall. Jarrod was so mad; he had to walk half way home before one of the ranch hands picked him up."

Nick chuckled at the memory. Laura rubbed his hand to urge him to continue. "After Seven, Mae had another colt and we called him Mister. You should have seen him. He was perfect. Mister was very large, but he had a very sweet nature. I enjoyed riding him. Mother rode him a lot too. Everyone loved Mister. He was a perfect mount in every way. A real sweetheart of a horse. The last colt Mae gave us was Coco. Finally he was to be my horse, and mine alone. Providing of course I could train him according to my father's wishes. Coco is the spitting image of Mae except where Mae had a star on her nose, Coco has a strip."

Laura circled her arms around his trim waist and fitted her head in the hollow of his shoulder. Her eyes closed sleepily. "Please go on. I love to hear about when you were a boy."

Nick kissed the top of her head, his hand absently rubbing her shoulder. "Maybe we should go inside, you're going to fall asleep on me."

"No, I promise I won't, please go on. I'm listening."

"Alright, since ya promised." He softly chuckled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "When Coco was about three weeks old I let him and his Mama out to roam the back pasture. You should have seen them. They romped and played together like two young colts. Mother and son spent the whole day, lazing about, grazing and taking naps in the tall grass. I felt honored almost to be able to watch the happy sight. The pair were beautiful together. Later when I brought them in Mae wasn't acting right. She seemed sick with the colic. I could tell she was suffering. I called my father out to the barn. At that time we had a hand named Pete who served as a veterinarian when needed, though he didn't have the book learning he sure knew a lot about animals. Pete took one look at Mae and knew it was bad. Between the three of us we did everything humanly possible but Mae went down so fast. We knew then we had to make the decision to put her down. We all said our good byes, but after she did the most remarkable thing I ever saw. Mae tried to nurse Coco one last time before she went."

Nick raised his fingers to his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose to keep threatening tears away. Laura's arms tightened around his waist as her own eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Mae was in too much pain to let her milk down for him. What a fine, noble animal she was, and a good mother. After she was gone I led Coco back to his own stall. The poor little fellar was exhausted. I sat with him in the stall and cried like a baby and ya know what Coco did; he came over and laid his head down right in my lap. We grieved for sweet Mae together that night."

Laura finally understood that Coco was the reason for Nick's melancholy. She knew that Heath had been gently trying to persuade Nick to put Coco out to pasture but it was very hard for Nick to do. All his knowledge of horses knew that he must, but the love in his heart would be harder to convince. Nick was never one to give up on anything or anyone that he loved and Laura's heart broke because she knew what a difficult decision it would be for him.

"Coco still needed to be nursed so we tried with a bottle but he wouldn't feed. He was still so very sad and missed his mama. We kept trying the bottle but it was no use. So we tried a bucket but he only knew how to nurse. Finally Pete thought up this rig he put together. We used the blacksmith's bellow and he rigged a sort of contraption on it with a piece of soft leather and that finally worked. We fed him like that for about two months, eventually teaching him to eat from a bucket. We weaned him by the time he was three months. It seemed like it took forever but between my father, me and Pete we got Coco eating mashed grain mixed with milk until he was about five months old."

Nick face lit up as another memory crept into his head. "When Coco was still a colt I used to let him have the run of the yard when I was outside doing my chores. He loved to follow me around. Sometimes he would explore the yard just following me around like a puppy dog. He used to bother the chickens when he did that. They would rush away clucking whenever Coco came around to inspect them. He would watch them peck the dirt and he would scare them by snorting the ground. There were chicken feathers everywhere!" Nick laughed. "When Coco got tired of that game he would high-tail it, running all around the length of the house and come right back to me; and he kept doing it until I gave him a treat. He never got tired of that game."

"When did you start riding him?"

"Not for a while. He hated having anyone on his back, even if it was me. He used to throw me at least twice a day. He was a stubborn cuss! Just like me I guess." Nick grinned. "We were a perfect match."

"And you still are."

"No," Nick shook his head, "Not anymore. It's time I let old Coco go. He's been a good and faithful horse, but he needs his rest. Tomorrow we'll take our last ride together."

Laura didn't answer; instead she gave her husband a tight embrace and kissed his cheek. She knew tomorrow would be a very hard day for her very soft hearted husband.

* * * * * * * *

Silas was looking out of the kitchen window at the grey mid-morning sky when he heard her little feet scamper onto the kitchen chair.

"Those clouds will be openin' up any minute, thats fo' sure." He turned to look at the child. "And what yo' doin' here young Missy?"

"Mama says we're gonna make cookies for Papa!" The child smiled gleefully at the servant.

"Cookies for Papa huh? Well, this is the first I hears of it. Are yo sure yer Mama's not goin' ta the Library?" Silas walked toward the kitchen sink to fill a tea kettle.

"No, not today. Mama wants to surprise Papa. Do we have raisins Uncle Silas?"

"I 'spect so, lemme go see." Laura walked into the kitchen.

"I'm so sorry Silas, I hope you don't mind us invading your kitchen today. I promise we'll clean it up when we're finished." She gave him a reassuring hug.

"That's fine Missus, just fine. Is everything alright?" Silas knew that Nick's wife only baked when she was worried or nervous about something, and he suspected this was the case today.

"Everything's fine Silas, I just wanted to make a special treat for Nick today."

"Papa loves oatmeal raisin cookies!"

"That's right, and I's got some raisins right here!" Silas reached up into a kitchen cupboard and pulled down a small sack.

Colleen clapped her hands together. "HOORAY!" Papa's going be so happy."

"Let's hope so. Let's get out the mixing bowls." Her mother chimed in.

"And I'll get the baking pans!" Silas volunteered.

* * * * * * * *

Victoria Barkley always enjoyed tending to her roses. She was tying the rose stems to sticks when her granddaughter joined her outside in front of the house.

"Grandlee, look at the cookies I made! See?" The child held a small dish with several cookies on it.

"Don't they look delicious? Who helped you?"

"Mama. We made them for Papa."

"Really? For Papa?"

"Try some." The child offered, holding the plate up higher. Victoria pulled off her gardener's gloves and took one of the cookies.

"Won't you join me Colleen?"

"Mama said I couldn't have more than one before lunch. I already had one. Why are you tying the roses Grandlee?"

"It looks like a storm's coming and I want to tie them so I won't loose them in the wind and rain. But I have time to sit with you and enjoy a cookie. Come, let's sit on the veranda."

Colleen led her Grandmother by the hand to one of the sofas on the veranda. Laura walked out onto the veranda holding a tea tray.

"Thought you might enjoy some tea to go along with the cookies Victoria."

"How thoughtful Laura, thank you." She set the tea tray down on a small white wrought iron table. "You will join us?"

"Of course. How's the cookie?"

"Delicious. What made you decide to bake? Something wrong?"

"You know me too well Victoria." She chuckled softly. She sat down next to her mother-in-law. "Colleen, would you get me some napkins. I seemed to have forgotten them in the kitchen."

The two women watched as the child scampered into the house again.

"It's Nick." She began. "Last night I found him in the barn sitting with Coco. He told me that he decided to put Coco out to pasture after today. I know it was silly to make cookies but I felt I had to do something for him, if only that."

"Poor Nick. He loves that horse so much, but it is for the best. I wonder which horse he's going to use now?" Sighed Victoria.

"For some months now I've had Heath training my horse Hero to be a cutting horse and Heath told me he's coming along very well. I planned on giving Hero to Nick on our anniversary but it looks like Nick needs a good horse now and Heath said that Hero is well on his way to becoming an excellent mount and I know Nick can take over without a problem."

"That's very generous of you but didn't Nick give Hero to you as a gift four years ago?"

"Yes, but I don't need a horse, Tipper is fine for me. I had every intention of giving Hero to Nick; that's why I asked Heath to work with him without Nick knowing about it."

The sound of a horse galloping up the road to the house turned the women's attention.

"That's Heath." Victoria said as she stood up.

"Nick's supposed to be with him." Grave fears showed on the younger woman's face.

Heath rode up to the house and stood in front of the two concerned faces.

"What is it Heath?" Laura said breathlessly. Heath pulled off his hat and wiped the sweat from his brow with his sleeve.

"It's Nick.." Heath raised his hand up before she could speak another word. "Easy now, he's all right. I left him near Tanner's Dam. I just came back to get him a fresh mount."

"Is there something wrong with Coco?"

"Coco's not.... Well, he collapsed."

"Oh my God, no! Poor Nick. Did he have to put him down?" Victoria spoke clutching her throat.

"No, Coco spared him that." Victoria's gray eyes misted over. Laura bit her bottom lip in an unsuccessful attempt to keep tears from wetting her cheeks.

"Please saddle Hero for Nick. I'm going to him."

"Nick's in a bad way Laura." Heath's unruffled demeanor did little to hide the concern for his brother.

"I know, that's why I'm going to him. I'll change my clothes." The worry shone from her blue eyes but she was determined to go.

"I'm going with you." Heath declared, but Laura didn't acknowledge him as she rushed into the house.

* * * * * * * *

She rode along with Heath, leading Hero by her side. At Tanner's Dam Heath pointed to a slumped dark figure sitting on a rock.

"There he is just where I left him. He hasn't moved from that spot. Coco is just a few feet away in front of Nick."

"Thank you Heath. Why don't you go home to your wife and children?"

"I don't know if I should leave you here Laura, Nick can be hard to handle."

"No one knows that better than I do Heath. Please leave me alone with him, I'll be alright."

Heath gazed over the greying horizon. The sky shrieked a threatening clap of thunder "It's going to rain any minute. You shouldn't stay out here too long."

"We won't. I'll get him home."

"You better know now, he's been drinking Laura. He doesn't think I know but he's been carrying a flask in his saddlebag for some time now."

Heath had been covering for his brother for months, doing his work as well as overseeing Nick's. The drinking was affecting Nick's job more than ever. Heath had thought about discussing the problem with the family but he had hoped to avoid it by talking to Nick instead; but the words fell on deaf ears since his brother wouldn't even acknowledge that he had been drinking at all.

"Thank you for telling me Heath." She spurred Tipper closer. Heath stayed behind and watched warily. She quietly dismounted and knelt beside her husband; placing a hand on his shoulder she kissed his tear-stained cheek. Nick bent his head down with shaken sobs. Laura held him to her bosom while he wept in her comforting arms.

Heath wheeled his horse away from the couple.

She held her husband as he cried and kissed the top of his head as a mother would to console a weeping child. Before her was the body of the faithful chocolate colored horse. Memories of watching Nick ride the great steed flooded her mind. They once raced their mounts together. She knew her younger horse could easily overtake Coco but she pulled back so that Nick and his mount could win. Nick had great pride and love for the old horse and she often dreaded the thought of the day when he would have to say good-bye to his beloved trail companion. 'How like Coco', she thought, 'to spare Nick the agony of having to put him down. A noble horse indeed.'

* * * * * * * *

The darkening clouds could no longer hold their contents and the first large drops of rain began. First two, three then more drops joined the chorus as it soaked the earth beneath them.

"Nick, it's beginning to rain, we have to leave." She pulled at his shoulder but he wouldn't budge; instead he held his arm up to stop her.

"Go ahead. Leave me here."

"Don't be ridiculous I'm not going to leave you here; you'll catch your death! Please Nick, let's go home."

"No, go without me. Go now before it gets worse."

"I'm not leaving you here! Please stop being so..."

Her next words were silenced by the crash of thunder, making the horses fearful as they pulled from their tether. Laura turned toward the mounts to see Hero push back into her horse Tipper and both were now free. Laura rushed to grab Hero's reins but the frightened animal reared back on his hind legs. The commotion behind him alerted Nick to the danger and he sprang to grab his wife from the raised hooves. The two fell and rolled down the rain-soaked embankment. Gravity stopped them and Nick pulled himself up, glaring down at the blonde woman.

"Are you out of your mind? Are you trying to get yourself killed? You know better than that!"

He allowed Laura to free herself from under him so that now they were both sitting on the soggy earth.

"Why didn't you stop them from bolting?!" She screamed to be heard above the deluge of rain pounding the ground.

"Because I'm no fool! Only a fool would try to do what you did! You have done some dumb stunts in your life lady but that one takes the cake! Without a doubt that takes the cake!"

"At least I tried! You just sat there like a bump on a log!" She angrily waved her arms.

"At least you tried?! You tried?!" He shouted over the thunder. "You tried to get yourself killed that's what you tried!" He pushed himself up from the ground mumbling. "Damn fool stunt! Blasted woman!" He began to walk away from her.

"Where are you going?" Her voice shrilled. She struggled to get her footing on the slippery grass. He glanced back at her.

"Come on damnit!" He waved his arm. She began to follow but tripped and fell down with a splash.

"Damn!" She muttered. "NICK!" He went back and helped her up from the wet ground.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, so now you ask!"

"Oh for chrissakes! Come on!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him.

"You don't expect us to walk all the way home do you? It's a good five miles from here!"

"I know! That's why we're heading there!" He pointed his finger toward where he had been walking.

"And just what is over there?"

"A line shack. It's about fifty yards that way!"

"A LINE SHACK!"

"You got any better ideas?" She let him lead her by the hand as they trudged through the wet brush.

"If you had listened to me we would have been half way home by now! But no, you had to have a big scene! It's always your way! Everyone has to do things your way and listen to you!

Big bad Nick Barkley!" She complained bitterly.

He stopped and angrily turned toward her. "Laura?"

"What?" Her voice not quite so self assured, she stopped walking to avoid bumping into him.

"Enough." He spoke the single word through gritted teeth so calmly that she knew her silence was the best course of action. She swallowed her pride and let him lead her away.

Part 9

They were both drenched to the skin by the time they arrived at the line shack. Nick pushed the door open with the force of his shoulder. It was a one room shack that had a wood stove at the back of the room. A crude table and chair stood in the middle of the roughen wood planked floor. Several shelves to the left of the room had a few cans of food, a frying pan and a coffee pot. The opposite side of the room had a bed with a straw mattress, a bear skin blanket and several woolen blankets folded on the bed with one feather pillow. Dust clung over every inch of the room. Nick's first thought was the wood box that was by the stove.

"If we're lucky that wood box will be full." He opened the box and smiled. "Plenty of wood." Nick searched the shelf where he knew a box of wooden matches and some old newspapers would be saved for use in the stove. "We didn't use this part of the ranch for the cattle to feed so this line shack is still well stocked. While I start a fire you get those wet clothes off."

Laura stood in the middle of the room dripping, her arms trying in vain to rub the chill from her bones. She opened her mouth to speak but her teeth chattered uncontrollably and no words would come out. Nick began to feed the stove with wood and bits of paper then lit the match. He turned toward his wife and smiled for the first time that day. "Well now, we'll be warm in..."

He stopped short when he saw her. She had difficulty pulling off her wet clothes because they clung to her skin and her hands seemed too numb to work. The anger he felt before kept him from looking back while they walked through the rain, and now he felt guilty when he noticed the blue color on her lips and her fingertips were white and wrinkled. She was shivering involuntarily. "Oh my God, look at you! You're freezing."

He quickly reached out and pulled off the remainder of her clothes and hurried to cover her with one of the woolen blankets on the bed. He pushed the only chair in the room near the stove and sat her down. Her lips were still too cold to speak but her sapphire eyes spoke of gratitude unsaid.

"Aw sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were this bad. You just sit right here and get warm. I'm going to get the other blanket and dry your hair.

"Y.y.y.oou.u." She managed to shiver out.

"I will, don't you worry about me. I'll get out of my wet clothes but I want to take care of you first." He squeezed out the excess water from her hair then wiped the wetness with a corner of the blanket he was going to use for himself later. "You know I got some whiskey with me, not much, but it will get your insides warm." He reached into the inside of his vest pocket and pulled out a small silver flask. He opened the top and swiped the palm of his hand over the top.

"Sorry we don't have any clean glasses to drink from here."

It was the first she had ever seen of the silver flask and she wondered how long he had it in his possession. She pushed out a hand from underneath the blanket and drank the foul tasting hot mixture. She always hated the taste of whiskey, preferring instead the sweeter taste of brandy but it did warm her insides quickly enough and the satisfaction she had that it was less he was able to drink motivated her to take another sip.

"Hey, easy with that. I'm cold too you know." He took the flask from her and she gave him a quick angry glare.

"You.u.u... had.d.d....e.e.e.enough." She shivered.

He thought better than to argue as he placed the flask inside his vest pocket. He hung up her wet clothes on pegs on the wall and then proceeded to shed his own very wet clothing.

Once he wrapped himself in a blanket he pulled the bed closer to the stove. "We can get under the bear skin and keep ourselves warm. You get in; come on I'll help you." He took her arm and helped lay her on the bed, taking care to cover her up with the warm bear skin. "Would you like some coffee? I know we have some here. We don't have any cream or sugar but at least it will be hot."

She nodded yes even though she didn't want it. 'At least,' she thought, 'he could drink it rather than the whiskey.'

Nick took the coffee pot and held it outside the door to catch the rain water. It didn't take long to fill the pot. Once he had prepared it for coffee he set it on the stove top and joined her under the bear skin blanket.

"Well now, you're starting to feel warmer already." He wrapped his arms around her. She tucked her head under his chin. "You're kinda quiet, are you alright? Laura?"

"I'm.m.m still.l.l cold.d.d." She felt another shiver go down her spine. He hugged her tighter.

"I'll take care of that." He squeezed her tighter and gave her a kiss on her still damp hair. Soon their own exhaustion overtook them and they both fell asleep.

* * * * * * * *

Ciego, the Barkley's gardener, knocked on the kitchen door when he saw his daughter alone in the kitchen boiling water for tea. Guadalupe quickly opened the door to let her father in from the rain.

"Papa, what's wrong?"

"I no wanna come in da front door 'cause I no wanna mess up da rug. Is Senor Heath here?"

"Si, with Senora Barkley."

"Go, tell him, your papa needs ta talk ta him, go quickly Mi querido."

"What's wrong Papa?"

"Hurry, go now Mi querido!” The young teen rushed out of the kitchen. When she came back to the kitchen both Heath and Victoria came with her. A worried look stamped on both faces.

"Ciego, what is it?" Victoria's heart was already thudding wildly against her chest.

“Senora Barkley, da horses come back alone."

"What horses Ciego?" Asked Heath.

"Tipper y Héroe. Both come home, no rider. Senora Nick gone."

"Oh no! Heath what could have happened to them?"

"Relax Mother, the horses probably got spooked and ran off." Heath said reassuringly.

"But Nick and Laura's out in that storm." She cried.

"I'm sure they took shelter somewhere. There's a line shack not far from where they were. They're probably hold up there."

"Do you think so Heath?"

“Sure, they’re fine. When the storm is over I’ll take fresh horses over to them. They’ll be fine, don’t you go frettin’ over them. Nick knows enough to come out of the rain, and if he doesn’t Laura does.” Heath joked with a twisted grin.

“Of course, I’m sure you’re right. I better see to Colleen, I don’t want her to worry.”

“Come on Ciego, I’ll help you bed down those horses.” Heath grabbed a rain slicker from a peg hanging in the mud room and joined Ciego in the barn.

* * * * * * * *

Just as the tapping of the rain on the tarpaper roof had lulled him to sleep it now woke him up and he beamed when he found himself alone with her curled in his arms asleep. He often fantasized being in bed all day with nothing to do but make love, and here it was now realized. What better to do on a rainy day? For once no concerns about the ranch or even being interrupted by their little doe-eyed pride and joy. He began to awaken her with a kiss on her closed eyelids and then each toasty pink cheek. With eyes still shut she smiled at his tender touch. His lips led down to soft welcoming lips as he delicately urged them open to accept his probing tongue, and then he whispered those dreaded words and the romantic spell was broken. "Let's make a baby."

"NO!" With a force that surprised even her, she propelled him off the bed with a push.

"What the...?" He sat spread eagle with only his arms for support on the cold wooden floor. "What the hell has gotten into you?" He blared as she sat with bent knees on the bed.

"I've had it with you!" She wailed.

"What are you talkin' about? What did I do?"

"You! I'm sick of it and I won't take it from you ever again!" She gathered up the blanket and wrapped herself in it as she stood from the bed. She walked over to the stove. Her blue eyes glared angrily at him still sprawled on the floor. "Every time! Every time you say it! Every damn time!"

"Say what? What did I say? Tell me!" He loudly pleaded, confused at what he felt was an unjustified outburst. He couldn't understand her strange behavior. Wasn't he being romantic enough, didn't he give her all the right signals and touched her the way he knew she liked to be touched. What could he be doing wrong? As hard as he thought he couldn't see he was doing anything wrong so he looked at her just as bewildered as before. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?! How can you dare ask me that!" His confusion changed to a knowing smile.

"Ah hah! I know what's wrong! You're pregnant! That's why you're acting crazy!"

"Pregnant? Is that all you ever think about? Is that all I am to you? A baby maker! Is that what I am to you oh big dark stallion? A brood mare!"

"Huh? A brood mare? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're lucky, you're so damn lucky!" She said waving a pointed finger at him. "Because if it wasn't raining I would walk out that door, and never, EVER speak to you again!"

"What the hell did I do wrong now?"

She walked to the cupboards and searched, finding them empty she angrily turned toward his direction. He was now standing, a blanket wrapped around him in a toga fashion.

"Why in the world would anyone make coffee if there wasn't any cups to drink it?"

"Huh?" His face screwed up in a confused gape.

"I'm thirsty! I want a drink! You made coffee but there aren't any cups to pour it into. How were you expecting us to drink your damn coffee?" She stood holding the blanket tightly around her, her face crimson with fury.

"You're angry because there are no cups for coffee?"

"NO!"

"This is a line shack, the men who come here usually have a cup in their saddlebags. That's why there are no cups here! I thought we could just drink from the pot."

"Drink from the pot. That was your plan, to drink from the pot."

"Yeah, why not? You drank from the bottle before. Hey where is that?" His eyes searched around the room for the silver flask he had before. Laura saw the flask protruding out from the vest he hung on the chair.

"You mean this?" She held the flask and unscrewed the top.

"Yeah, there it is. Give it to me."

"Be glad to." Once the top was off she turned the silver flask upside down and poured the contents onto the floor. He rushed to grab it but she pulled away.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" He roared.

"Now that it's empty you can pour your coffee in it!" She smirked and threw the empty container at him. He caught it in his hands then tipped it back to catch the last drop.

"Damnit! Nothing! Just what the hell has come over you all of a sudden?" He threw the flask across the room.

"All of a sudden?" She repeated. "Oh trust me, it's not all of a sudden. This has been brewing for some time, much like your muddy coffee! It's finally boiled over!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about? What boiled over?"

"Me! Nick Barkley! Me! I boiled over! You have finally added that last straw!"

He held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, I give up. I'm not going to argue with you if I don't know what we're arguing about! You're going to have to tell me, otherwise I'm not going to talk about this anymore!" He turned his back and busied himself with placing more wood in the stove. She watched him quietly now, her eyes filling with hot tears. The few minutes of silence between them seemed to pass into an eternity.

"You don't make love to me anymore." She finally spoke through glistening tears.

He stopped feeding the stove and stared her way. "What?"

"You haven't for a long time now Nick, not for a very long time."

An anguished look spread across his visage. "How can you say that to me? I love you, I've always loved you."

"I didn't say you don't love me, I said you never make love to me anymore." She couldn't bear to watch the pained look on his face and she stared guiltily at the floor. She wished now she hadn't said it, but knew she couldn't keep it from him a moment longer. She'd been dreading this inevitable conversation, because she felt her heart was too full of guilt and anger at herself "Forgive me, I didn't mean to tell you like this." She whispered.

"Forgive you? I don't understand what you mean. What did you do that you need my forgiveness?" Nick's mind swirled in bitter confusion. Didn't she love him anymore? What did he do to cause it, if that was the case? Was there someone else? No! His heart wouldn't dare entertain that thought, not his Laura, never; but his confusion increased when she burst into sobbing tears.

"It's all been my fault." She whimpered.

"What? Please tell me what you're talking about." He clutched her to himself, and rested his chin on her head as she wept. She looked up into his saddened eyes, still surrounded by his powerful arms.

"When you say, lets make a baby and, and it doesn't happen. I see the sadness in your eyes and I know I failed. Each time I've failed."

"NO, no, you must never think that, never!"

"I have Nick. I want so much to have another baby with you. I went to Agatha to be examined. We talked."

"What did she say?" He tried to hide the fear from his voice.

"She said I was healthy, that there wasn't any reason I shouldn't conceive."

"There you see, it's only a matter of time. There's no need to worry about it. We can continue on as we have been..." He pulled her into another hug.

"No, that's not what she said. We spoke for sometime." She said encouraged at having his undivided attention.

"You mean you talked to her about us? About...me?" He didn't bother hiding the stiffness in his voice.

"Yes." She replied hesitantly then quickly added, " Nick, I had to. She's my doctor."

"She's not mine!" The anger in his voice flooded the room and she winced as he pulled away from her.

"Honey, please listen before you become angry."

"You know that woman hates me!"

"Nick, she doesn't hate you. She merely suggested that maybe we, well, that you should abstain from drinking."

"WHAT?" His voice hardened, he turned to face her again. "Why did you speak about our personal lives to a stranger? A woman!"

"Please listen Nick. Doctor James suggested that if you refrained from drinking for a time." She hastened to add. "..Then perhaps we would be better able to conceive."

"What does she know?"

"She's a doctor."

"She's a quack! And you've no business going to her and telling her about what goes on in our bedroom!"

"Believe me Nick, it wasn't easy for me to speak of these things but I was desperate. I only want to please you."

"You already please me. There's no need to go to.., to a ...well, I don't know what!" He emphasized waving his hand in frustration then raking his fingers through his dark hair. "Chrissakes Laura, I can't believe you did this to me, to us!"

She bit her lip as more tears came. "I'm sorry Nick, I... I didn't know what else to do."

"Didn't know what else to do?" He loudly repeated causing her to flinch. "Talk to me! Your husband!"

"How could I? You didn't want to talk, all you did was drink our problems away."

"You saying I'm a drunk?!" She averted her eyes as her answer. "Just because a man has a few drinks after he's done a full day's back breaking work don't mean he's a damn drunk!"

"I didn't say that." She answered demurely.

"You didn't have to!" He moved toward the window and stared out. The rain continued to race down the dirty window pane making it impossible to see the blackening world outside. The anger he felt inside was choking him. He knew he could say hurtful things right back at her, God's knows he wanted to hurt her! Just as she hurt him. 'I'm not a drunk! How could she think that about me? I have a few when I get home. I deserve it! I work hard! Damn her! What does she know? His mind mulled over scenes in his head.

* * * * * * * *

"Nick what's eatin' you?"

"What?"

"Ya never drank on the job before."

"What makes you think I'm drinkin' on the job? You're crazy Heath, get back to work and leave me be!"

"Well iffen you're not drinkin' on the job then whatcha got in your saddlebag? Rubbin' alcohol for Coco?"

* * * * * * * *

"Let's make a baby."

Is that all you ever think about? Is that all I am to you? A baby maker! A brood mare!"

"You don't make love to me anymore."

* * * * * * * *

The pitch-dark window began to glare back with dark angry eyes and a scowling, drained face. He leaned his forehead onto the cold glass. Laura went to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Nick?"

"I'm not a drunk Laura. I'm not!" He said without turning her way.

"Then why Nick? Why are you drinking? Heath told me you've been drinking on the job. Anybody else, you would have fired them on the spot. What's going on Nick? Is it me? Have I done something to cause this?"

He turned slowly and embraced her. "It's not you. I'm the one. I thought I could keep it inside. I didn't want you to be touched by this."

"Oh Nick, don't you know by now whatever hurts you hurts me? We're a part of each other. Isn't that what marriage is about?"

"I can't tell you, not this."

"You don't trust me."

"Don't say that! It's not true!"

"Nick, what's going on here? Why are you drinking? I know you well enough to know that you only drink heavily when something is eating you. As your wife I have the right to know what it is. Please Nick." She pleaded.

"I'm ashamed to tell you."

"Nothing you could tell me would make me think any less of you. I love you Nick. That will never change. Never."

He gave a deep sigh then began, "A couple of years ago Heath and I were into a saloon in Bakersfield. We decided to have a few drinks after we finished the cattle drive. There was this girl in the saloon."

"Oh God." Laura began to blink back tears as she averted her eyes. Nick took her in his arms.

"Oh no, honey, it's wasn't like that! I would never do that to you, never."

"Then what?"

"This girl I'm talking about, she was sitting at a table with the man, and she was crying her heart out. Me and Heath didn't mean to listen but it was a small place and well, the fellar she was with started yelling at her. Ya see, the girl tells him she's in a family way and she tells him he's the father. So he starts giving this speech to everyone within earshot."

"A speech? About what?"

"He starts telling everyone that a man never knows if he's the father of a child 'cause it's only the woman who knows for sure and he wasn't taking any responsibility for no kid that he wasn't sure was his own."

"That's awful, but I still don't understand what this has to do with us."

Nick stared at her not speaking.

"What are you saying?! Do you believe that Colleen isn't yours?! How could you?!" Unsteady from the shock of his revelation forced her to sit down on the bed. Nick immediately sat beside her. "Oh my God, oh my God..." She repeated over and over again with her hands covering her mouth. He took her hands in his and held them tightly.

"Listen to me, please listen to me. It's not your fault, it's... Aw damn how can I explain this?"

"It's Jarrod isn't it? All this time, you've believed it. All this time. Even after I told you it didn't happen. You saw me kissing him but that's all! How could you believe it? How could you...Oh my God! You must hate me!"

"No, no, that's not true, I love you, I love you more than life itself, I'll always love you. I don't blame you, and I don't blame Jarrod, not really."

She pulled her hands free of his and clasped them over her mouth. "Oh my God. How can you say that? How can you say you love me and believe that I would betray you? I don't understand."

"Because there's only a small piece of me that believes it. I look at Colleen and I know she's mine. She has so much of me in her. That defiant little temper, the way she fills a room with life, and the way she loves everyone. I adore that kid, and I love you for giving her to me."

"I don't know how we can stay as husband and wife if there's a small piece of your heart that believes I've betrayed you with your brother. Is that why you are always saying 'Lets make a baby?' Because you feel you need to prove something to yourself?"

"Hearing you say that makes me ashamed of myself. I'm sorry this was ever brought up. I love you. I don't want our marriage to end."

"How can we have a marriage if you don't have faith in our love for each other?" She stood up from the bed, emotionally drained. "I'm very tired Nick. I need to sleep." He stood from the bed and she crawled under the fur cover, her back turned toward him.

Nick joined her under the covers and wrapped his hands on her shoulders. He gently kissed her behind the ear. "I'm so sorry Milady, please forgive me." Silent tears fell from both pairs of eyes and not another word was spoken between them.

Part 10

The office of the Nevada-California Trust Company was located across the street from the Governor's Mansion. The strategy of having the NCTC office near the mansion rather than the State House where the state's business was conducted was not a coincidence but a carefully planned tactic. It was so much easier to have the ear of one man in power than an entire legislature of men with their own agendas to fulfill. And 'Black Jack' Landelle, as the politicos called him behind his back, had paid dearly for the Governor's ear. In the last election Governor George Stone was almost unseated by his Republican opponent, but Simon 'Black Jack' Landelle had saved the sitting governor by blackmailing the Republican candidate with tawdry rumors of a back street romance. The rumors were eventually revealed as untrue, but not soon enough and the incumbent governor had won the election and was now firmly locked in Black Jack's debt.

"Why in blazes would I appoint Jarrod Barkley as one of my prosecuting attorneys? We are politically worlds apart! He has opposed me at every turn with the Chinese problem and he is forever lobbying to overturn the Chinese Exclusion Act."

"I agree Governor Stone, but he is with you on prison reform. He and his mother Mrs. Victoria Barkley, have worked tirelessly in bringing about prison reform and setting up the parole board and we all know that is close to your heart."

"True enough, Barkley and I do see eye to eye in some things."

"And with Barkley's tenure as a prosecuting attorney he certainly won't have time to lobby against your policies."

"Yes, but there's still that wife of his. She has been after Bannard to introduce the women's rights issue."

"Bannard is an old fool. She knows full well he's planning on retiring soon."

"Which is why she is pushing her agenda. Women in politics, disgusting! She should be home having babies, not bothering in men's affairs."

"With her husband as prosecutor she would have to take over his clients. Thus she will be too busy to push Bannard with her useless agenda."

"I suppose. Besides he would only be the prosecuting attorney for Stockton and the surrounding towns in the county. He could be useful there coming election. I didn't do well in that county in the last election, maybe with Barkley there he could swing those votes my way."

"Now you're thinking Governor. As I always say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

"Do you think he'll take the job?"

"Barkley is salivating over having a foothold in politics. This would be a perfect venue for him."

"Yes, I've always suspected he's coveted the Governor's mansion."

"Many men have. Can't fault him for that."

"You haven't Landelle."

"I prefer being in the background; helping where I can." His smile revealed a satisfied gleam.

"Where is Barkley, Frisco?" Asked the Governor.

"Actually he's here in Sacramento. I'm meeting with him in my office about two this afternoon, with the Assistant Attorney General."

"Why you old scoundrel. You've planned this all along haven't you?"

"Governor please, I'm only here to serve you and our glorious state." Landelle gave him a wry smile.

"What's in it for you Simon?"

"Just satisfaction dear Governor, just satisfaction." The smile on the handsome face of Simon Jacques Landelle sent ice water coursing through the old governor's veins. George Stone, the 15th governor of the great state of California, almost felt sorry for whoever was the real reason for Black Jack Landelle's sardonic smile.

* * * * * * * *

Jarrod Barkley was anxious to get back home since he had been gone for a week. He was planning on leaving on the train back to Stockton that evening, but when he was summoned to Simon Landelle’s office for a meeting with the assistant attorney general for what Landelle called a “very profitable opportunity,” naturally Jarrod acquiesced. He removed his hat as he walked toward the woman sitting behind the large oak desk. The office of the Nevada-California Land Trust Company was as lavish and ornate as the man who owned it.

“Good afternoon, I’m Jarrod Barkley I believe Mister Landelle is expecting me.”

“Oh yes sir, please have a seat. I'll tell Mr. Landelle you’re here Mr. Barkley.”

“Thank you.” Jarrod chose to stand and wait. He impatiently rolled his hat in his hand, while the receptionist sheepishly knocked on the dark oak door, and then walked in. She was out within seconds and ushered the gentleman lawyer in.

Jarrod entered the office which was elaborating decorated with rich green brocade fabric on the chairs, and matched the heavy drapes on the windows that reached from floor to ceiling. The walls had hunting trophies of animal heads known only to the jungles of Africa staring down forlornly at the occupants of the large room.

“Jarrod! Welcome, good to see you again. How’s the family? Well I hope?” Landelle asked.

“Yes, thank you for asking. All well.”

“Your sister-in-law, if I remember she was with child, is she still?”

“Oh yes, Hope, my brother Heath’s wife, she had twins, a boy and girl.”

“Twins! Wonderful, wonderful. The Barkley clan is certainly growing.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Jarrod I don’t think you’ve ever met our fine assistant attorney general have you?” Simon led Jarrod lightly by the shoulder and introduced the other man in the room.

“No, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.” He offered his hand to the taller curly haired man with expressive light blue eyes.

“Jarrod, this is our assistant A.G., Jason Browne. Jason, Jarrod Barkley.”

Jason gave him a dazzling white smile and vigorously shook his offered hand. “My pleasure Mister Barkley, I’ve heard much about you, it’s so good to finally meet you Sir.”

“And I you sir. Please, do call me Jarrod.”

“Certainly. Will do.”

“Yes, we should all be on first name basis, after all, I think we will be very good friends.” Landelle chimed in. “Please sit down Jarrod. I know you’re anxious to get back home and I am very grateful that you delayed your trip to have this meeting. Jason and I don’t want to keep you longer than we have to.”

“Well, I’m at your disposal until tomorrow morning, that is when I've booked passage home.” Jarrod added politely.

“Well good, then after we've concluded our business here maybe you’ll join me for dinner and drinks at a favorite restaurant of mine near the Capital building.”

* * * * * * * *

Heath tiredly placed his gun belt on a peg by the kitchen door. He grinned when the smell of dinner met his nose. His wife Hope sat by the kitchen stove working on a needlepoint pattern of a lighthouse scene.

"Boy howdy, ain't nothing like a the smell of good home cooking and a beautiful wife to come home to after a tired, back breaking day." He knelt beside her, took her hands in his and kissed each one.

"My poor husband, did you have a back breaking day again today?" She cajoled.

"I surely did. Do ya feel bad for me?" Heath teased with a sideways grin and then sat beside her on the floor.

"My heart is just torn with sorrow for you dear husband." She patted his shoulder and he captured her hand and kissed the Claddagh ring on her left hand that served as a wedding band.

"Was Nick very bossy today?"

"Well, now, I got a surprise when I went to the main house this morning. Nick had packed up his little family and took off to Indian Springs, no warning, leaving me to do all the work."

"Oh I'm so glad."

"Glad?"

"Well, not for you of course sweetheart, I know it's more work for you, but Nick and Laura needed to get away."

"I suppose. But we got a cattle drive to prepare for coming in a little more than a week and the round up is still not finished."

"Now, I'm sure Nick realizes that and he'll be back in plenty of time for the cattle drive and I know you have more than enough people to take care of the round up, but if you don't you can always hire more hands."

"Now where am I going to hire more hands? There's not a manjack in this valley who isn't already working on some spread."

"You can always hire women." Heath gave her a sideways glance.

"No more of those ladies meetings at the library for you dear wife." Hope giggled at his threat.

"Come, why don't you go wash up for supper whilst I set the table. We might be able to have a nice quiet dinner before the babies wake up."

"Yup, that would be nice." He took her hands and helped her up from the chair, but rather than letting her go he grasped her waist and kissed her. "Wish we could go away."

"Next time it will be us and you'll have the satisfaction of leaving Nick with all the work." She said rubbing his strong shoulder as she kissed his cheek.

Heath washed his hands in the kitchen sink, and then helped his wife set the table. "Ya know, it seems to me you weren't very surprised when I told you about them going to Indian Springs."

"I wasn't." She said as she stirred the pot. "The two of them really need this time together Heath and I don't think we should begrudge them."

"I don't, but if it gets you to wash my back I'll try anything once." He pushed away the loose bun from her neck and kissed her.

"Heath Barkley, I think you're looking for more than your back scrubbed."

"Uh huh." He answered with a dreamy gleam in his eye.

"Enough, lets eat before the little ones wake up for their dinner."

The two settled down at the kitchen table for an informal dinner. Heath poured a glass of milk for his wife who was still breast feeding and a glass of wine for himself.

"Hmm, this stew tastes good." He said between tastes.

"I'm glad you like it. Here's some bread." She passed him the bread basket. Heath watched his wife as she drank her milk.

"Hope?"

"Yes Heath."

"Do you miss being a teacher?"

"I look forward to being our children's teacher."

"I know, but do you miss teaching, as a profession, I mean?"

"I suppose I do, but I really don't have much time to think about it, not with my three loves to keep me busy." She smiled satisfied.

"I heard they hired a new teacher for this year." He continued.

"Yes I know, a Mister Clive Peyton, from Santa Fe I hear."

"Oh, Mother told you then?"

"Yes, and she also told me that the school committee is paying Mister Peyton twice the salary they paid me."

"Yeah, so?"

"Heath?!"

"What's the matter?"

"How can you say that to me?! He's getting twice what they paid me!"

"Yeah, honey, but he's a man." Heath looked down at his meal and tried to hide an amused grin.

"Heath Barkley!" She finally noticed the wicked twinkle in his eye. "Well, you might as well know now Heath, I'm suing the Stockton school committee." She cast her eyes down at her meal, hiding her own grin. Heath let his spoon drop with a clang on the dish.

"You what? My mother is on that school committee. You're suing my mother?!"

"Uh huh, Victoria was the one who suggested it. I already spoke to Carol about it, she says I have a good case."

"But you're suing my mother."

"Relax darling, it's nothing personal. Your mother understands." Hope let a giggle escape. "I wish you could see your face!"

"Huh? You mean you're only joshin'?"

"Yes, I'm not suing the school committee."

"Oh, thank God."

"Carol's negotiating a settlement for me. They are going to give me all the back pay since I started working as a teacher that will equal Mister Peyton's salary. I plan to put the money away for the twins education."

"You did that on purpose!"

Yes, I did didn't I?" Heath picks up a piece of bread and throws it in his wife's direction.

"I'll get you later when they're asleep."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Hope said with a wink.

* * * * * * * *

Indian Springs was always a vacation getaway for the Barkleys ever since they were children, and they usually went to the lodge at the end of June, but after the confrontation between Nick and Laura at the line shack, they had decided they needed to get away and talk out their feelings. In deference to his wife, Nick had stopped drinking all together and not a drop of liquor was brought on the trip. It was a difficult choice for Nick but one he knew was crucial to the survival of his marriage. The estranged couple shared pleasantries in front of their child but the first two evenings at Milady's Camp found the couple in separate bedrooms.

Nick sat on a fallen log at the water’s edge showing his young daughter how to bait a fishhook.

“Papa that’s yucky.” Her blue eyes scrunched over a wrinkled button nose.

“Whadaya mean it’s yucky? You sound just like your mother. How do you expect to catch a fish without bait?”

“Nope, I don’t like it, too yucky! I’m keeping my worm!”

“And just what are you going to do with it?”

“Play with it.” The child smiled, as she shifted the squirmy animal from one tiny hand to the other.

“Now that’s yucky!” He gave out a hardy laugh. Nick adored spending time with his daughter, and he found the moments with her released some of the frustration and stress he felt on this trip. The rancher was an impatient soul and he had hoped to have much of their problems resolved by now. He missed not sharing a bed with his wife, after five years of married life it was difficult for him to sleep without his Laura by his side. He wouldn't even mind going to bed angry as long as she was there. She was so much a part of him that sleep now became impossible.

Laura joined them at the shore, a shawl covered her shoulders, and a sneeze announced her presence. “Oh, excuse me.” Nick turned toward her.

“Did you get any sleep?” Neither one found it easy to sleep under the circumstances set before them.

“Yes, I did. How’s supper coming?”

“Colleen prefers to make friends with her bait, so it may take a while before I can catch enough fish for us. Why the shawl, are you cold?”

“Just a bit.” Nick stood up and joined her. He placed a hand on her forehead.

“What are you doing? Stop that.” She pushed his hand away.

“I think you’re coming down with something. You feel warm to me.”

“I'm fine.” She dismissed him.

“I think you need to see a doctor."

“I have a little cold that’s all."

"Come on." He said taking her elbow. "Pixie face, your mama and I are gonna sit on the porch and watch you."

"Yes Papa. I’m gonna play with Henry."

"Henry?" Her mother asked

"My pet worm Mama. See?" She held up the squirming black worm between her fingers.

"Pet worm. Ya callin' him Henry, fine, you do that." Nick said leading his wife to the porch swing.

"Not many children have pet worms." Laura smiled.

"Especially ones named Henry."

They settled themselves on the porch swing. Nick spread his arm across the back of the swing, but Laura sat away from him, her arms clutching her shawl tightly around her bosom. They sat quietly for a few minutes and watched the child play on the shore of the river.

"How long are we going to go on like this?"

"I don't know." She answered, biting her bottom lip.

"I miss you." Nick said sincerely. Laura turned her face away and wiped a tear from her eye.

She missed him beside her in bed as well.

To be continued…