Pausing for a brief moment to make sure everything was ready, Anya
mindlessly petted the naked quivering and fear filled young man tied
down to the rough stone alter. She double checked the placement of
the candles and the amount of herbs in the twin brass pots. The
ancient Mesopotamian knife was in place and the silver chalice of
holy water was waiting. She had a copy of the spell on crackling thin
rice paper that she herself had written with a mix of vampire blood
(courtesy of Spike), linseed oil, and dark red clay from the earth.
And she had the sparkling dust that was all that remained of the
crushed gem that had once been the source of her demonic vengeance
power.
All was in readiness. Taking a deep breath, she began the spell that
would summon D'Hoffryn and restore the gem and her powers along with
it.
******
Xander was almost frantic with worry. Anya had been missing for a
week now and no one had seen any sign of her. Not the other members
of the Scooby Gang, and not any of her other friends and associates.
No one.
And while it wasn't *too* odd for Anya to just up and go, she NEVER
left without talking to him about it first. Not once in all the time
they had been dating had she disappeared without word. She usually
tried to talk him into going with her, or took the time to issue
*massive* warnings about what she would do if he wasn't faithful to
her while she was gone.
But not this time.
They had a date set up and she never showed. Nor did she call. She
was just... gone. Nothing seemed to be missing from her apartment
when he had checked it the next day... or the day after that... or
even earlier today. Not a thing was taken. No clothes, no money, no
food... It was almost as if she had vanished from Sunnydale with
nothing but the clothes on her back. Even Willy didn't know where she
was.
Right now, all that mattered was Anya's safety. Xander was hurrying
to Giles's for a Scooby meeting about what to do to track her down. A
week was too long for *anyone* to go missing in Sunnydale without it
being a BAD thing, so they were going to get organized and start a
search.
Turning the corner to Giles's, Xander practically ran over Spike. The
blonde vampire's nimble agility was the only thing that kept them
both going down in a tumbled heap.
"Bloody hell whelp! Watch where you're going. Could kill a bloke that
way. Or at least rumple his clothes a bit."
Xander looked over at the smirk on the vampire's face and a
horrifying thought rushed into his brain, almost knocking him to his
knees. He could feel his heart begin to race and icy panic clutched
at him.
"Spike! Have you seen Anya?!"
He grabbed at the blonde's duster and shook his lean form. Spike
looked faintly scandalized by the contact and tried to brush Xander's
hands away. However, Xander had a death grip on the leather jacket
and the chip wouldn't let Spike rip the boys arms off.
"Hey! Watch it mate! That's my coat you've got your grubby hands on.
Have you lost your bloody mind?"
Xander ground his teeth together and took a deep, but not so calming,
breath.
"Spike! Have. You. Seen. Anya?"
The blonde vampire blinked in confusion.
"No. Why? Should I have?"
Xander let go of Spike's jacket and his shoulders slumped in defeat,
a lost expression coming over his features.
"She's gone missing. I haven't heard from her or seen her in a week
now. I know that you two have some sort of bizarre demon friendship
thing going on and I hoped that maybe she said something to you about
where she was headed. Or... if some vamp had turned her... well, that
you might know that too."
Xander watched a dark and slightly frightening look cross Spike's
pale face. There wasn't too many people that Spike liked and that
liked him in return. Xander could count those people on one hand and
still have fingers left over. He and Anya were on that list. And
Xander knew that of those few people, Anya had been at the very top
of that list. She had been the demonic equivalent of his best friend.
They were both painfully misplaced creatures of darkness and evil
that were trapped between the natural world and the preternatural
world. And that had cemented a bond between them.
"No. I *haven't* seen her. And I haven't come across anyone talking
about her either. She's been gone a full week, you said?"
Xander nodded. Spike's frown deepened.
"That's a long time in Sunnydale."
Xander nodded again.
"I know."
The blonde vampire's face screwed up in thought.
"What's everyone doing to find the chit?"
Xander sighed a sad lonely sigh and gestured for the blonde to follow
him to Giles's. Along the way he told Spike about the meeting to
organize a search and invited him to help out. The vampire didn't say
anything, he just nodded his head. He could always ask for something
or demand reparation from the Watcher for his help in order to cover
his reputation as the Big Bad, but that wasn't needed for Xander. The
young mortal knew of his friendship with his girlfriend, and
surprisingly enough, the whelp approved of it.
******
It had been another two weeks and there was still no signs of Anya.
When the rent came due and she wasn't there to pay it, her landlord
had threatened to toss all of her things away. Xander tried to take
them back to his efficiency apartment in the basement of his parents
house, but they said that it would be just as if Anya had moved in
and so they would be justified in doubling his monthly rent. Not
being able to afford that jump in increase, Xander had been on the
edge of panic. He didn't want Anya's things to be destroyed or thrown
away, but he couldn't afford to take over her rent and move into her
place, nor could he afford his parents doubling his own. The solution
to his dilemma came from a surprising source.
Spike.
With an embarrassed shrug, some sarcastic eye rolling and several
threats of favors Xander would have to do to repay his generosity,
Spike offered to store all of Anya's things in his crypt.
Xander spent most of one day packing away her clothes and jewelry,
her books and cd's, and various nick-knacks into cardboard boxes. He
lugged them all over, one by one to Spike's place at the cemetery.
The food she'd left behind, he either tossed away or took for himself.
None of the rest of the Scooby Gang offered to help. However, Buffy
did inform him of his stupidity in trusting Spike with Anya's things.
After a brief argument, she had shrugged and walked away with a
comment about how it would be his fault if the blonde vampire did
nasty things with Anya's unmentionables. Xander spent the next three
days feeling off balance due to mental visions of Spike wearing
Anya's lacy underthings.
Two and a half weeks later, with still no word from Anya, Xander
finally broke down and swallowed his pride enough to ask help from
the one person he'd never wanted to hear from again. He picked up the
phone and dialed the number he had memorized during the past several
days of internal debate. After three rings, it was picked up and an
overly cheerful voice assaulted his ears.
"Angel Investigations. We help the helpless."
He sighed.
"Hi Cordy. It's me. Xander."
A piercing squeal of happiness stabbed him in the brain by way of his
ear drum.
"Cordy! Calm down."
A slight grin crossed his face.
"Yes. It's good to talk to you too... What?... Um, yeah. Willow's
good... Yes, Giles is good... No, no one has staked Spike yet...
Hmmm?... Oh. Uh, I'm... ahhh. Look. I sorta need to talk to Angel. Is
he there?... What?... Yeah, I'll hold."
Irritating elevator muzak began to drone over the phone and Xander
sighed. It figured that the broody dark one would choose this type of
feature for his phone system. Xander figured that Angel probably
liked to pick up the phone and listen to it himself as a form of self-
punishment. It was a brutal and cruel, yet non bloody ruin the
furniture, type of pain. After an eternity of instrumental hell, the
muzak shut off and Angel picked up an extension.
"Um... hey Angel. I... uh, have a favor to ask. I *know* I'm not
you're favorite person and all... but it's not *really* for me."
Xander blinked in confusion.
"What? *Yes* Buffy's okay. Can't we discuss *my* problem for just a
second and then if you want, we'll talk all about what's going on
with the Buffster. Cool?"
Xander took a deep breath to organize his thoughts and then he told
Angel everything he knew.
"I know you have a bunch of contacts. With the law, the PTB and the
demon underworld. I was hoping that you could, I don't know... ask
around about Anya or something. See if maybe someone has heard
anything. See, she's been missing for... oh, about two months now. No
one knows where she went and no one has heard from her. She just up
and disappeared into thin air. I've been searching for her this whole
time, but she is *not* in Sunnydale. With the humans *or* the demons.
Between Spike and I, we would have found her by now if she was here."
"What?... Oh, yeah sure. I'll send a copy of her picture to you right
away. Not a problem at all actually."
Then, true to form, Angel turned the conversation towards Buffy and
everything the Slayer had been up to recently. Xander didn't really
want to talk to him, but he figured it was the least he could do
since Angel said he'd check with his sources about Anya.
*******
A month later, Anya showed up for a Scooby meeting at Giles's house
without any warning. Her power center was back and she was in demon
form. Everyone reacted very negatively to her reappearance except for
Xander and Spike.
The blonde vampire leered her up and down from head to toe and
congratulated her on her return to the vengeance business and then
asked her to remove the chip from his skull. His choice of language
in describing the bit of metal and plastic inside his head was...
colorful to say the least.
Xander however, just let out a breathy "Thank you God" and dashed
over to enfold her in a crushing hug. He pulled her into his arms and
pressed her face into his chest while nuzzling his own into her hair.
His dark eyes were filled with unshed tears and he was whispering
while rocking slightly.
"Anya, oh Anya. I'm *so* glad you're okay. I was worried and I missed
you and I'm *so* glad you're back."
Gently, Anya pushed herself back so that she could see up into
Xander's face and gave a little frown of confusion.
"But... Xander. How can you be happy to see me? I've got my power
back. I'm a demon again."
Xander gave a little shrug and planted a soft kiss on the tip of her
wrinkled nose.
"That doesn't matter. I still love you. I'm happy for you, but I've
missed you."
Anya flashed him a bright and happy smile for a minute, but then it
faded away again. She frowned, looking sort of sad.
"Xander... I... have to break up with you. I can't date you anymore.
Not like this."
Xander started to protest, but she placed a finger over his lips to
stop the words before they could even escape.
"Know that I *do* love you. I always will. Just as you love me and, I
hope, always will. However, I now know that, even though you *love*
me, you're not *in* love with me. There's a difference."
Xander tried to protest again and once more, she stopped him before
he could even start.
"I could never give you what it is you *really* want nor what you
*need*. You know this, even if you won't admit it. After a while, the
resentment would build up, you'd do something stupid and I'd have to
punish you. Neither of us wants that. So... I'm going to curse you.
It's for the best really, and I hope someday you can find it in your
heart to forgive me."
Xander pulled away, a hurt and confused look on his face.
"Anya! No! Wait!"
But it was too late. Anya pointed at him and whispered a soft word
under her breath. A bright green light enveloped Xanders body. The
light flared so brightly that everyone was forced to close their eyes
and turn their heads away and Xander's scream of pain echoed
throughout the room. When the light faded, they all blinked the spots
from their eyes to see Xander still standing there. Same dark sad
eyes, same baggy clothing, same pouty lips.
The only difference was, a moment ago, Xander was a young man... now
he was most definitely a female. A *beautiful* female.
Long dark curly hair. His expressive eyes peered out from a softer
rounder face. He was the same height, but his shoulders weren't as
broad and his hips were wider and curved. And he had the full rounded
breasts of a woman, not the flat muscular chest of a man.
Xander looked down at himself in his new and improved body, screamed
in a high pitched voice filled with mindless panic and then fainted
dead away.
The rest of the room just stared at him in extreme shock and horror.
Anya pulled everyone's attention back towards her with a few soft
words spoken with absolute authority.
"Spike. I'll remove the chip, but you have to *promise* me that
you'll protect Xander. She's *very* important to me and I *do* love
her, you know."
Spike turned to look at her with a flabbergasted expression on his
pale face. He didn't seem as if he even comprehended what she had
said. He was in too much shock. However, he instantly nodded his head
in agreement with the demonness.
"I promise."
Anya nodded and pointed at him. A wave of glowing red sparkles washed
over him and he swayed on his feet with vertigo.
"Done."
Then Anya turned to face Giles, Buffy and Willow. The soft and
somewhat friendly expression on her face vanished. She scowled at
them.
"I curse you. All three of you. For what you *didn't* do. For all the
pain and agony that Xander was forced to suffer at the hands of his
parents when you could have stopped them. For all the times you
pushed him aside and made him feel like dirt. For all the times you
should have been his friends, but refused to be. I curse you all."
Anya pointed at Giles.
"See no evil!"
The ex-Watcher's eyes turned a sickly opaque white and the older man
stumbled as he suddenly reached out blindly with both arms. Willow
tried to dash over to help him, but Anya's curse caught her next.
"Speak no evil!"
The red-headed witch suddenly collapsed to her knees clutching at her
throat. A panicked looked came into her bright green eyes and her
lips formed desperate words, but no sound emerged at all.
Finally, Anya pointed at the Slayer.
"Hear no evil!"
And the blonde girl dropped into the chair behind her and clutched at
her ears.
"What is that! It's *so* loud! Make it stop. *Please*!"
Spike looked over to Anya, mild fear etched in his eyes.
"Wha... what is she hearing?"
Anya shrugged.
"Her own heartbeat. That's the only thing she'll ever hear for the
rest of her life."
With that, Anya walked over and knelt down next to the dark haired
girl on the floor. She brushed her fingers lightly over the soft pale
skin.
"Xander... Xander... Sweety, wake up."
Xander stretched a little and rolled over slightly and grinned
sleepily up at her.
"Anya I had this *weird* dream and..."
Xander's voice trailed off when he heard the feminine sounds coming
from his mouth. With a startled gasp, she looked down at her
transformed body in horror. Anya chuckled lightly.
"No... it wasn't a dream. I'm really a demon again. And now... I'm
going to go visit your parents. They have a *lot* to make up for.
Remember... I *do* love you."
And with that Anya disappeared.
Xander turned frightened and confused eyes up to the blonde vampire
standing next to him.
"Spike? What just happened?"
*******
Spike grumbled to himself and kicked a rock that was lying in his
path. It had been one strange night... even for the Hellmouth. Some
of it had been *very* good. For example, his chip was removed, his
friend was officially found - alive, and the Slayer had been
seriously and permanently injured. Mayhem had reigned supreme.
All of that had been laid at his feet by said best friend on one
single, and some would say easy, condition. Protect, the now female,
Xander. Fine, he would... if he could find the chit.
It had taken about an hour to sort out the hysterical and panicked
Scooby Gang and to explain to Xander everything that he'd missed
while unconscious. Spike's enjoyment of the Slayer, the ex-Watcher
and the witch's plight had been dampened somewhat when they had
turned on Xander, exclaiming that all of the mess had been *his*
fault. That their pain was on *his* head and whatever Anya did to his
parents would also be his burden of guilt to carry.
Spike rolled his eyes heavenward and sighed.
At *that* little bit of news, some pieces in Xander's head had
clicked together and the young woman had dashed out of Giles's house
and into the night. Unarmed. Spike would have followed her
immediately, but the Slayer picked that moment to take out her
frustration and pain on *him*. It had only been a combination of him
being able to fight back once again and her center of balance being
off due to her sudden hearing problems that allowed him to escape her
wrath. But by then, it was too late.
Spike had headed over to Xander's house only to find it in flames. He
could smell the scent of charred flesh under the heavier smell of
burning wood and melting plastic and he hoped it was the chit's
parents and not Xander herself. Hoping that she had not gotten
herself burned to death, Spike began to prowl Sunnydale looking for
her. Unfortunately, he couldn't find her.
Spike was beginning to worry. The sun was almost up and he had no
idea where Xander was. She could even be dead. He had no idea what
Anya would do if he failed at his end of the bargain. Possible give
him back the chip... possibly worse. Spike didn't even want to
*think* about what could be worse than the chip.
Picking up his speed to avoid the sun, Spike crossed the cemetery
grounds until a strangely familiar scent hit him. It was... Xander,
but... not. It was more earthy and had less of a sharp bite to it. It
was... feminine. Breathing in deeply to catch as much of the elusive
scent as he could, Spike tracked it... to his own crypt.
Warily pushing the heavy door open, he peered inside. And let out an
explosive breath he hadn't even been aware that he was holding.
There, curled up in his tattered old blanket, on top of the stone
tomb, lay Xander. Her legs were pulled in tightly and her long arms
were wrapped around them and she was shivering against the cold.
Spike sighed. Closing the door, he lit a few candles and then walked
over to the girl on his bed. He ran a hand down her arm gently.
"Pet?"
No response at all. It was as if Xander didn't even know Spike was
there.
Spike sat down on the edge of the stone tomb and carefully pulled the
young girl up into his arms. Slowly, he brushed the long dark curls
away from her face and peered down at her with his gentlest and
calmest expression. He looked into her dark eyes and felt a shiver
race up his spine. Xander's eyes were empty and her expression was
blank.
Feeling uncomfortable, Spike wondered if Xander had lost her mind
from all the trauma and shocks she'd suffered through today. Hoping
to get *some* reaction, Spike easily picked her up and carried her
over to his lounge chair. He sat down on it and held her in his lap.
She made no sound and she didn't resist his positioning of her body
so he could hold her tighter. Once situated, he began to stroke her
hair and talk to her in a soft and soothing voice that he had
perfected after decades with Dru.
After almost an hour, Xander finally turned haunted dark eyes up to
his face and a single tear slid down her cheek. Her expression was
one of defeated horror and agony. It was a look that he had seen
before... it was the expression on the face of a victim who had been
tortured to the very breaking point... but had yet to fall. One more
hard hit was all it would take. Spike shivered at the temptation...
but at the last minute, he remembered Anya's warning to him.
Protect Xander. Always.
Swallowing his demons instincts back down, Spike gently pulled her
closer and nestled her head against his shoulder.
"Shhh... it's all right. I'm here with you. I'll always be here for
you. Always..."
END
