Dana Quotes

Pilot

"Excuse me, if anyone needs me, I'll be hurtling myself out the window. "

"I love producing Sports Night. I live from 11 to midnight and the rush is so huge that I don't come down until 3 o'clock in the morning. I love doing Sports Night, and you used to, too!" to Casey

"Jeremy, Jeremy, this is television, things happen. If you want to work here, you've gonna have to not spontaneously wig out. " during his interview

Intellectual property

"Every time your life starts to spin out of control, you come after me, and you make me feel like you feel a certain way when you really don't. You did it in college, you did it in Dallas, you did it in L.A. and you're doing it now. I don't think you're cute. I don't think you're funny, I don't think you're smart and sometimes I don't think you're very nice." to Casey

Mary Pat Shelby

"I think you'd look like Colonel Sanders." on what Dan would look like with a goatee

"SportsCenter... Fox Sports News... And here comes Sports Night, led by Dana Whitacker in the number three car... Talking to myself and that can't be a good sign..."


"I'm aware of the moral questions posed by this, but I'm also aware of the fact that this is a third place show that doesn't deserve to be. But I can't educate viewers to that fact unless they're watching us in the first place, so your pedantic scolding aside, I'll do anything short of a wet T-shirt contest to get us there and these days, the wet T-shirt contest isn't looking so bad to me. You see what I'm saying?" to Casey about their in studio guest

Thespis

"We've had our share of technical difficulties tonight, as well as some paranormal intereference, but we think once we got done with the top half hour, we should be out of the mythological penalty box, if you will." to Isaac after being plagued by a "ghost"

Quality of Mercy at 29k

"How about this? If I shot you out of a missile slio, you'd have to go 29,000 feet in order to clear the peak of Everest, land on a pile of rocks in Tibet and shut the hell up." to Jeremy

Six Southern Gentleman

Dana: "Jeremy, tell me what's happening in Chattanooga. Tell me quickly, tell me succinctly. Bullet points. We're on the air in less than two minutes, so don't give me a valedictory address. Talk to me as if I'm a small child. Tell me what's happening in Chattanooga"
Jeremy: "I don't know what's happening in Chattanooga."

Dana: "Tell me a little more than that."

Smoky

"I think your job stinks. You get to create your own show and make all the decisions and have a big staff and make a lot of money. That's not for me, Isaac. I like to answer to people. I don't want to create. When I get a thought in my head, I want it to die right there." response to Isaac saying he wants to groom her for his job

"My name's Dana, you unbelievable moron. You've known me for fifteen years. Flirt with me. Tell me why you like me better than Sally." while Casey was trying to practice flirt with her

"I don't think your ever going to have sex again. I gotta go." after Casey still didn't flirt right

Small Town

"Hey, you know what might be fun? If you didn't talk for like, a minute and a half." to Casey

Rebecca

"At this meeting after the show, are any of these people gonna get fired? 'Cause I don't care if they do." to Isaac after she is annoyed with the staff

"The truth is I have a job that involves me, and stimulates me and rewards me and takes up a lot of my time and I'm not willing to do my job just a little bit. I want to do all of it. It's part of me and I am different without it. That is who I am and that is who you need to love.".-to Casey about how to get Gordon not to break up with her

Dana and the Deep Blue Sea

"Would it be possible to have one ten o'clock meeting that doesn't degenerate into dork recess?" to the tech's.

Sally

" I can grow. I'm ripe for growth, I'm nothing if not potential." to Isaac who doesn't think she can keep a secret

"Well, that's an interesting theory and you'd be completely right except for the fact that you're totally wrong."

How are things in glocca mora?

"You know what's happening tonight? The world in which I'm confident is running right smack into the world in which I'm not."

Eli's Coming

"Damn right there's an economy of language. I got the job done in two words. I think we can make another cut . . . yes! We don't need "back"! We can cut the "back"!" to Casey about a Welcome Back sign

"Let me tell you something. I put nothing in my hair, I was born with this hair and not enough people know that." to Dan after he thought Dana and Bobbi were crazy because of their hair

"I find Casey to be judgemental and in my case, I find him to be hyper-judgemental." To Natalie

Ten Wickets

"You know, you're almost tempted to consider the possibility that I'm just going stark raving mad.

"There are three things that I'm doing. I'm losing things, I'm forgetting things . . . and there's the third one.

Napoleon's battle Plan

"Please lower your voice. I do not want your tawdry tales of office lust infecting my newsroom." to Casey after learning about his relationship with Sally

"Guys, you're gonna have to to do the first two blocks without your pants. Casey, you should feel right at home.

What kind of day it has been

"Well, I don't know if it works, but it looks incredibly good." about her new camera

"You're mad at me? You spend six months making me feel guilty for liking my job. then propose to me, then two days later, you tell me you slept with the woman who wants my job? I say fine. I say fine! Then six days after that, you tell me you wanna break off the engagement. Here's the thing. I think only one of us should be angry at a time, and I have a hunch it's gonna be me." To Gordon

"This is a cheap excuse to get out of marrying me which you never wanted to do in the third place.And the only reason you proposed in the second place was out of guilt for having slept with Sally in the first place." to Gordon

"You're breaking off the engagement because I wasn't mad enough when I found out you were sleeping around? Let's do the whole thing all over again and this time I'll beat the living crap out of you." to Gordon

"No, it's not at the cleaners, you idiot! There's no such thing as an overnight ring cleaners. Gordon and I broke up which is just the most recent in a series of recent humiliations and I'm okay with it! I can take it, but this is really the living end. I have seen enough to know that I have seen enough! Now I want something good to happen. I want something good to happen before the day is over and I will be the judge of what's good." to Casey, then everyone

"Well, Casey, it's pretty complicated. This is a sophisticated instrument and it's not any one thing and it would be difficult to explain to someone who didn't have at least an intermediate background in photography. But by and large, it's that I put the film in backwards"

Season 2

Special Powers

"Hello, my name is Dana Whitaker and I'm the executive producer of Sports Night. And I'm interrupting this broadcast to tell you that Casey took gymnastics after took for seven years. How's he lookin' to ya now, girls?" "on camera" after she realized they weren't on the air yet. When something wicked this way comes

Dana: "Of course he had a better body than you. He was a professional male stripper."
Casey: "Let me tell you something, men know how to answer that question when asked."


“ I can top that. Instead of doing all that I propose we postpone our first date for six months while you date other women.” her crazy dating plan for Casey

Cliff Gardner

“I thought last night was as bad as we could get. Turns out we had unexplored potential for stiffness.” about how stiff the show was

“I’m having them arrested Danny. I’m telling their parents. I’m telling the teacher. I’m going to go to my room and lock the door.” after he objected to the network wanting to give them notes

“Casey, I want you to date other women. I don’t want you to enjoy it.”

"At this point you have two choices: fire me or shut the hell up." to the network people

“ Do what you want but for five minutes you’ll be talking to an empty room” to the network people

Louise Re-visited

“Something interesting happened at dinner tonight. I took off my panties.” to Natalie

“Natalie, remind me to give you a beating in the morning.”

Kafelnikov

“I’m just saying that you must have gotten beaten up a lot in high school.” to Jeremy

“Okay I’m just going to run to the ATM, pick up some bottled water and canned goods. I’ll be right back.” to Jeremy after the computers crashed during the Y2K test

The Reunion

"I'm not done being your bis sister yet, and it sounds to me like these are the moments big sisters get paid for, so what do you say I be the only person in your life that isn't pissed at you right now?" to her brother

A Girl named Pixley

"I want you to come back here in thirty minutes with either some ideas or a carton containing the contents of your desk."

"Natalie, I'm about to make this man the most famous seventh-place archer in the history of sports! I think the very least he could do is die in a timely manner . . . and be gay." about an archer they were going to do a story on

The Cutman Cometh

"It was never my intention to make you feel as if there was something wrong with you that needed to be fixed." to Casey

The sweet smell of air

"Well, your head's a perfect rectangle. Maybe that'll impress the kids. " to Casey who was looking for some kind of talent to show at his son's school

Dana Get Your Gun

"First off, it's my office. Second off... who cares what second off is? It's my office." after finding Sam in her office

April is the Cruelest Month

"I really don't care Casey. I would give all I had this moment for my biggest problem to be your ego."

Bells and a siren

Natalie: "Paper you know is combustable."
Dana: "What do I look like Fireman Bob?"

La Forza Del Destino

"'Cause people are bidding on us. They're in rooms right now, they're on cell phones, they're crunching numbers, something good is coming, and you don't change the luck." on why they should keep going to the bar Anthony's

"You gotta allow for the possibility that there's someone out there that needs a hole in the head." on who would want their show

Quo Vadimus

" 'Cause... Isaac doesn't trust that when he tells me something, I can be cool. He thinks it's going to spread around, and the information will get all twisted, and I'm going to show him he's wrong." as to why she can't tell Dan and casey a secret she already let out

"Okay. I'm going to lunch. Would you ask Dan and Casey what it's going to take for me to read some draft copy." to Natalie

"The show didn't fail. (pause) The man I work for, a guy named Isaac Jaffee... he took a chance on me, and I didn't rise to meet his... expectations. And there are people who work for me who needed me to be a better field captain. The show didn't fail. But I do feel responsible, and that's gonna have to be all right with you." to Calvin Trager, before she knew who he was

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