Danny Quotes
Pilot
"Grissom's free on bail, Casey slept in his office, and I am having a New York renaissance."
"J.J., Dana's the producer. We like to give her the impression she's charge."
"You ever ride the subway all day long? I mean, just for the fun of it?"
"My future is writing and anchoring a sports program with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's someplace else. For right now, I'm going to forget this conversation ever took place." to JJ
"No, no, I mean it. You should definitely quit your job because that way sports will be good again. Yeah, and your wife, she'll take you back, and you can be a role model for your son. Knowing as we do how, how women and children, you know, admire the bitter and the unemployed. Are you mental?" to Casey
"Yeah, one thing you definitely don't want to do is talk to your friends. You know, I wouldn't do that." to Casey
"I've been here every day, Casey. Every day. And I've kept my mouth shut, because that's what you asked me to do. But if you'd have asked me, I'd have told you that Lisa is an angry, unhappy, punishing woman, and that in ten years there has never been a single moment that has suggest to me she has any affection for you at all.And I have no patience for people like that. Now the people here, they like you. Isaac, Natalie, Kim, Elliot... I don't know who this new guy Jeremy is, but he seems to like you just fine. Have you even noticed that Dana's been keeping J.J. and the network away from you with a whip and a chair? Huh? Have you noticed that she's been risking her job for you every day? And do you really think, my friend, it has that much to do with your talent? These are people who like you, okay? They know what you've been going through, and for three months you've shown us nothing but the back of your hand -- and now you're going to show us the door? Well, excuse me, all right, but the wisdom of your decision isn't entirely clear to me. Yeah, I'm pissed, and you know what? I'm tired of it."
Dan: "Yeah, you know, I was gonna ride the Staten Island ferry for a while, eat a hot dog. You wanna come?"
Casey: "Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's 17 degrees outside with the wind chill, so what I want to do is stand on a boat in the middle of the New York harbor at half past midnight."
Dan:" You have a better idea?"
Casey:"Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don't like and beat the crap out of them."
The Apology
"Actions are immoral. Opinions are not, and I won't apologize for mine. Discussion is good. And for those of us fortunate enough to be the subject of magazine articles, it may be our responsibility from time to time to try and raise the level of debate." to the network brass
“It is possible that one could come away from this article that I don’t believe drugs are a destructive and deadly force on our culture or economy or on the lives of our children. I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam’s a genius I mean literally as a kid he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had he built from a kit he bought with money he got from tutoring other kids in math. He was engergetic and articulate, curious and funny, a great source of pride to our parents. And there is no doubt that he would be living a great life right now, except for that he’s dead. Because when you’re fourteen years old all you ever wanna be in life is your 16 year old brother. I my case that meant smoking a lot of dope. They day that I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver’s license and he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends, drunk and as high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light he ran and he probably never saw the eighteen wheeled truck that put him in the side of a brick bank either. That was eleven years ago tonight and I just wanted to say I’m sorry Sam. You deserved better in my hands, I’m sorry.” Speech to viewers after network made him apologize
The Hungry and the Hunted
“I’m starting to get a little cheesed with people telling me the reason I don’t like soccer is because I don’t understand it. I think I do understand it. I just think it’s a mind numbing bore and any reasonable person would rather be playing it then watching it.” To casey
“He’s making me crazy. He’s been making me crazy all day. It doesn’t work for me I’m more comfortable when I’m making him crazy.” talking about Casey
“Can I get a teamster to hit Casey in the hit with something heavy?” as he and Casey walk near where maintence people are
Intellectual Property
“It’s against the law to be vaguely gay?” to the public affairs woman
“I’ve got the intellectual cops crawling up my butt.” to everyone in the conference room after he learned Happy Birthday was a copy righted song
Dan: “A box of mallowmars”
Casey: “You love mallowmars”
Dan: “All I’m saying you could’ve had the four remaining spice girls serve them to me in hot pants. I still got gipped.”
Mary Pat Shelby
“I have a hard time believing my growing a goatee would pose a lighting problem.” to the show's techinicans
“Yeah but that’s all going to change once I grow a goatee.”
“This is the type of thing that friends gear up for.” to Natalie
The Head Coach, Dinner and the Morning mail
“You’re conversationally anal retentive.” to Casey
"Make it someplace that you like. Restaurants - they don't impress women as much as we think they do, and food always tastes good on the first date. You're not in Vegas, and you're not in L.A. - you are in the most magnificent city in the world - it's the city of Gershwin and Cole Porter, Damon Runyon and Fiorello LaGuardia. Surprise her, but make her feel comfortable. Make it different, but make her feel at home. But mostly, make it someplace that you like." advice to Jeremy about where to take Natalie on a date
Dear Louise
“I feel like somebody put a mojo on me. I’m tense, my minds racing like I’m going to blow apart.”
Thespis
“Are you stupid? You turned down late night?” after finding out Casey passed on Conan O'Brien
The Quality of Mercy at 29k
“It’s not fit for man or beast out there, but here I am.” complaining about the weather
Shoe Money Tonight
“I can’t believe how not in the zone I am. It’s really pretty startling how long it takes from being in the zone to being not in the zone.” to Casey in the conference room
“A man’s past is more important to him than his future.” advice to Jeremy who was fighting with Natalie
The Six Southern Gentleman of Tennessee
“I think as a New Years Resolution you should re-dedicate yourself to the idea that this is a team. You play for a team, a team with many players.” after learning Casey didn't know some of the support staff's names
“I can’t believe I come in here with you talking about those six players who stood by Roland Shepard and you don’t have the same respect for the people who work for you. You don’t think that if Luther ever showed you the door there wouldn’t be a hundred people lined up behind you?” to Isaac
Smoky
“You know the biggest difference between women then and women now? You’re on television.” trying to pump up Casey's confidence
“You don’t have to go out with her; she was stripping down right here.” after witnessing an exchange between Casey and Sally
Danny: “It’s a well oiled machine around here and I don’t want anything to interfere with that?”
Casey: “Did a high school girl from East Lansing finish the Boston Marathon in six seconds?”
Danny: “That doesn’t sound right.”
Casey:“It’s not as well oiled as you think.”
“Sally is an alien. At night she peels off her skin and lives on Steve Guttenberg’s boat.” his thoughts on what Sally really is
Small Town
“Wow, you’re a really big wuss.” to Casey who was afraid to go on a blind date
“Where I come from people don’t say things about other people.” to Natalie
“Hey crazy lady, breaking news here are you up for this?”to substitue anchor Bobbi Bernstein
Rebecca
“Can I spread it out for you in a nutshell?”to casey
“My real problem is that I seem to have made no impression on her at all in the elevator.” disappointed about Rebecca's inital reaction to him
”Well you don’t have to hit me over the head. At least you don’t have to do it seven or eight times.” to rebecca
“I’m going to go scrape my self-image off the floor and get ready to do my show.” to Rebecca
“I don’t even know her and no joke I really like her. It’s a little painful to me that I’m not seeing her tonight.” to Casey about Rebecca
Dana and the Deep Blue Sea
“Dana, Casey’s being mean to me.”
“I will not be the subject of your mockery.”
“Is there nothing I wouldn’t do for you?” to Jeremy so Jeremy will do him a favor
“Let me tell you something. First of all I’m a sports anchor not a sports castor. Second of all you married a jerk. I know about Steve Sisko, everybody knows about Steve Sisko. Sister you married a loser and the fact that you think that that man’s low grade brand of manhood is in anyway indicative of my profession is beneath your obvious intelligence and class. What guys like that do to women like you makes me absolutely crazy.” speech to Rebecca
“Sometimes its worth it, taking all the pies in the face. Sometimes you come through it feeling pretty good.” to Casey
Sally
“Casey, I’m so proud of you. You’ve got that rosy glow about you.” after learning Casey had sex
“You slinked my young friend and I have never felt closer to you in my entire life.” after learning what time Casey left after the sex
“We don’t ask, we don’t tell, we don’t do a lot of things women think men do.” trying to find out information on who Casey had sex with
How are things in Glocca Mora?
“Here’s what’s interesting about sports. None of this would’ve happened if tennis boy had gotten beaten when he was supposed to.” after being in trouble with Rebecca when he normally would have been on the air
“Rebecca, I’d never make a fool out of you.”
The Sword of Orion
“Thank God none of us work in Sports.” after no one knows whether a pitcher pitched that day
“Listen I know there is a lot of jargon but some of these are pretty self-explanatory.” after Rebecca didn't know what a perfect game was
“Yeah but they were two and a half Steve Sisko years, that’s like twenty-five regular years.” to Rebecca
“I’m going to tear it down for I am Dan, doer of good things were women are concerned.” to Rebecca
“There is a run-down meeting today right? Because it’s kind of hard not to notice that we are the only one’s here.” to Casey in the empty conference room
“There’s really nothing like seeing a guy who’s not done yet. Usually it goes the other way.” trying to get rebecca to watch a game with him
“I’m going to tear down that wall Rebecca. It may take weeks it may take months but I’m going to do it, I’m hunkering down for a long period of wall demolition bit by little bit. I expect the process to be long and excruciating but ultimately worth it.” still trying to get rebecca to date him
Eli’s Coming
“Alright there is something with the stuff you women put in your hair.” to Dana who didn't believe he didn't sleep with Bobbi in spain
“I’m not saying I’m fine in that dramatic way that’s obviously meant to indicate I’m not fine. That’s not what I meant when I said I’m fine.” to Casey after finding rebecca's "ex" husband in her office
“There’s a strangeness about this day. Eli’s coming.” to Casey about the day's vibe
“They say it’s always calmest before the storm. That’s not true. I’m a serious sailor. It isn’t calm before the storm,stuff happens.” to Casey, still feeling a bad vibe
“No let’s not forget it. You know I’ve done enough rotten things to women I like. There’s no question that I’m going straight to hell. I don’t really need you padding the ballot box.” To Bobbi while trying to convince her he didn't sleep with her in Spain
“Are you some nutty, nut girl who’s nuts?” after learning Rebecca wasn't divorced as once thought
“There’s a difference between divorced and separated. One means your divorced and the other means your separated that’s why they have those names.”
“There’s something I forgot to tell you before. If you want to work on your marriage I will in whatever way support that.” trying not to push rebecca too far away
“He’s such a bad guy Rebecca. I’m sorry if that hurts you but I know these things.” about her husband
“If my not calling you made you feel any less than what you are I’m sorry.” To Bobbi after she proved he did sleep with her
Ordnance Tactics
“Dana somebody just tried to blow up this building and you people are walking around like someone didn’t try and blow up the building.” after a bomb scare
“Is this the herd instinct or did we actually get an okay from someone in the building?” still complaining about the scare
“I can’t even find my keys in an hour and twenty minutes.” about the length of time it took for them to look for the bomb
“I will absolutely not stand in the way of another man’s marriage.” to rebecca
“I can see it’s a tense time. I guess glue’s not going to work.” to Sally after she became freaked when he just said hey to her
“If you’ve got some calm people and you wanna make them upset I say were the guys to do it.” deciding with Casey that Natalie and Dana were too calm about recent events
“My girlfriend whom I’ve grown quite fond of this thinking about going back to her husband but that’s just because he treats her bad.” explaining the Rebecca situation to Dana and Natalie
“We’ve found that giving into our fears has made us stronger.” still trying to figure out why Dana and Natalie are so calm
“So if you’re scared, if you’re sad, of your mad you should tell us. It’s entirely possible we’ll be able to say something to make you feel better.” to Dana and Natalie
Ten Wickets
“I’m excited that Rebecca’s back and you’re just a raving lunatic.”to Casey, who was still freaking out about the bomb scare
“Yes I am but I can fake my enthusiasm and you’ll never know the difference.”to Casey
“Honesty and directness are what’s required. I love her it’s that simple. Honesty will win the day.” to Jeremy and Natalie about rebecca
“I want you to know that I would kiss you right now full on the lips but there are people around and that’s unprofessional. Leave people.” after seeing rebecca in the studio
“Unfortunately the rules prohibit that he bat before and after himself and he probably can’t play right field and pitch at the same time.” to rebecca about barry bonds
“I’m on my feet bobbing and weaving, breaking tackles. Nothing but open field.” to Natalie and Jeremy after he learned Rebecca was getting back together with her husband
Napoleon’s Battle Plan
“You think there are people in the building across the street looking at us in our underwear?”
“But I for one would feel more comfortable if everyone took their pants off. We’re a team.”
“We can differ, that’s okay with me as long as you understand that I’m right. By right I meant honorable.”trying to get casey to tell Dana the truth about Sally
“Oh I find myself incredibly frustrated with you right now.” to Casey who still won't tell Dana
“I am going to do something that some people consider wrong. I am not one of those people. I believe that what I do now is right. I believe it in my guts. My guts are all I have. My guts and my pleasing personality. I’ve always lived by my guts.” to Natalie before he breaks the news about Sally's sex life
“So here’s what we gotta do. I think we gotta live in the now and say okay this has happened. I think we do those things.”to Casey after letting Casey's secret out
“You don’t get to decide what the high road is. You’re not that guy. From time to time I get to decide one on my own.” defending himself against an angry Casey
“Actually I think you’re getting caught in the crossfire of my punishment.” after their pants were with held for the second time
“Hey guys Casey’s feeling a little blue. I think it would pick him up if you complimented him on his underwear.”to the Make-up people
“See you wanna be mad at me right now, but you’re secretly happy.” To Casey who was still mad
What Kind of a Day it as been
“I’d think about taking him out of school. I’m not kidding there’s nothing he can learn in the fourth grade that he can’t pick up in a good minor league farm system.” after learning Casey's son did so well at a little league game
“It’s a world gone mad, Casey.”
“Why would I traumatize the new nanny? I like nannies. I’m thinking about getting one for myself course she’d probably end up going back to her ex-husband.” after Casey accused him of scaring Charlie's nannies away
“Yeah sorry don’t make the buttercup shine.” to Charlie
“You know what else, its actually the first time in history that a song his lied to his father so I would definitely go off on him.”after breaking the news to Casey that Charlie lied about his game stats
“You know Isaac, Casey and I were talking before and we think you’re a bit of a cheese Danish.” after Isaac returned from a stroke after only 6 weeks
Season 2
Special Powers
“Right there do you know what that was? That was another missed opportunity. You miss enough of them and the ballgames over.” To casey who didn't ask Dana out
“I have a modest proposal, make the nets bigger.” how to make soccer more exciting
When Something wicked this way comes
“She was skanking around town all leathered up? Excellent!” talking about Dana who went to a biker themed bachlerette party
“I made an idiot of myself in front of Hillary Clinton.”
“I’m not saying its not going to take perseverance but I will make contact with this woman.” explaining to Casey that he can fix a mistake he told to Hilary Clinton
“You know a lie can make it halfway around the world before the truth even has a chance to put its boots on?”still moaning about the mistake
“I’m just saying English sucks.”
Cliff Gardner
“I believe we are about to get a pep talk.” to Casey
“I always like wine and cheese.” after bringing gifts to apologize to Dana (though instead of cheese it was spackle)
Louise Re-visited
“Did you stay up all night voting for yourself?” noticing almost 160 people had voted on the new poll and only 6 were for him
“Here’s the thing about you. It’s not that you wanna win so bad, its that you won’t admit you wanna win.”
“I have plenty of fans.” sill trying to figure out if Casey was messing with the voting
“I’m nothing but fun!”
“Oh please I have seen you be much more annoying than I’m being right now.” to Casey
“Does it have anything with you being a conniving, scheming, stop at nothing, claw your way to the top, cheats at solitaire, you know guy?” after basically figuring out Casey rigged the votes
”There are rules prohibiting cheating.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t do something. 2.5 million people voted that’s more than most statewide elections. You know how many people voted for me, two-hundred and thirty two so don’t think I’m paranoid that something fishy might be up.” To Casey
Kafelnikov
“Let’s hold on to our horses here. I may not be the framed picture of mental health but doctor girl’s got another thing coming if she thinks I’m going to lie on her couch and you know talk to her.”
“I’m not crazy right? The lights did just go out?”
Shane
"I'm undergoing some kind of nervous collaspe." to Casey
"Do you think it would be okay if I just sat down for awhile? There may be periods of time in the conversation when I don't say anything funny. And there may periods of time I don't say anything at all." To Casey after realizing earlier he needed therapy
Kyle Whitaker's Got Two Sacks
"For seven hundred dollars a month I should be getting the shrink, two rooms and a bath." to his shrink
"I'm a charming guy Abby, it's not something I can control." to his shrink
"The girls in Dan's World of Fantasy and Psychosis." to substitute anchor Tina Lake
The Reunion
"Know before you wade hip deep into this that I don't really care what your problem is." to Casey
"Casey anything that I could summon up the engery to speak about would be greater than your cheese grater experience."
"Do you know how many times you'd have to kill me before I'd name a soccer player Athlete of the Century?" in the conference room
"Well, for a lot of us, the nonsense began a long time ago, so, you know, welcome to the world." to Casey
A Girl Named Pixley
"Get some rest you're gonna need it because we're coming back in twenty three hours." on air
"Jealousy.It will rear it's ugly head. It will rear its ugly head and you know eat Tokyo." to Casey
The Giants Win the Pennant, The Giants win the pennant
Dan: "Everyone should know this. In 1951, there wasn't a more passionate rivalry in sports than the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Giants. Giants fans hated Dodger fans, Dodger fans hated Giants fans. Fathers passed it on to sons. In August, the Giants were thirteen and a half games out of first place. (Dave nods, not interested) That's insurmountable. Your season's over, but--mnh mnh! The Giants come back from thirteen and a half games, fall into a first place tie with guess who? (Dave shrugs) The Brooklyn Dodgers. Now they play a play-off game to see who gets to go to the World Series, and the Dodgers have it won, right? (he grows more even more passionate and mimes swinging a bat) Until a guy named Bobby Thomson hits what they called the Shot Heard 'Round the World. I-I used to listen to this tape-- there's this famous announcer's call. Maybe the most famous ever. (imitating radio announcer) "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!" His name was Russ Hodges, and he-he just kept going, the guy just kept going on. "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!" (shakes Dave by the shoulders) I-I think I listened to a tape of Russ Hodges making that call, I don't know, every night for I think four or five years."
Dave: "You really like sports don't you Dan?"
Dan:"Yeah."
Jeremy: "A forty-ninth anniversary tribute?"
Dan: "There's a law it's gotta come on fives and tens?"
"I spoke to Isaac, and yes, you were right, he was at the game, though he also confirmed that him and I have a bond that far exceeds his and yours." to Jeremy
Dan: "Forget that he's meeting all kinds of women, that was gonna happen. But the one he wanted was you anyway."
Dana: "Wanted?"
Dan:"All this is doing is making him feel a lot less like the man he is, which is why he left Lisa in the first place. I know what he wants, and I gotta say, he's done a pretty good job of going after it, which isn't, like, the most natural thing in the world for Casey to do. And I know what you want. And all I've seen you do is hide behind this psychotic behavior all dressed up as cute. He wanted you, and he told you every possible way he could. You've just been hanging out in the men's room."
The Cut Man Cometh
Casey:"Who knows more than we do about boxing?"
Dan: "Boxers."
Casey:" Besides them. "
Dan: "Boxing experts."
Casey: "Besides them."
Dan: "Boxing fans."
Casey: "Besides them."
Dan: "No one."
Casey: Damn straight
"We've got Chuck "The Cut Man" Kimmel in Atlantic City, and for those of you still watching at home, please give us a call and tell us why." to viewers
The sweet smell of air
Casey:"I have some concerns."
Dan: "Well, it wouldn't be a day unless you had some concerns"
Casey:"And please don't tell me that it doesn't matter what I do, that I'm his father and that he'll be impressed with me no matter what."
Dan:"He's ten, Casey. He's gonna be mortified by you no matter what."
later that day
Casey: "I did what I do, Dan. I did what I do."
Dan: "You screwed up your romantic life in front of fifth-graders?"
Dana get your gun
"I'm gonna to miss a once in a lifetime opportunity tomorrow night so you can see a movie?" to Casey
Dan: "You can have my first-born son. Just take tomorrow night's show."
Casey:"So I'd have to work tomorrow and raise your child."
"I'm saying there have been medical advances that allow you people to work well into the fourth or fifth trimester." to Dana about a pregnant anchor
"No, it's my day off 'cause you're going scarf shopping and Kim's getting boinked in a Park view suite." to Casey who doesn't want to work with Dan's replacement.
The Local Weather
"It's Jeremy and a porn star, of course it's his reaction to his break up with Natalie." to his therapist
"If you're good enough to come in second place you are good enough to become disappointed by it." To his therapist
Draft Day Part 1: It Can't Rain at Indian Wells
Dan: "You know Golf is 50 % mental"
Natalie:"I'm beginning to think you are too."
"You know Casey I'm getting a little tired of you being senior camp counselor around here. I come to work. I do my job and I do it well. Maybe not well enough to come in 92nd but I do it well enough."
Casey: "If you aren't here I then can't use you."
Danny: "When did I become Ed McMahon to you."
Draft Day Part 2: The Fall of Ryan O'Brian
"You owe me an apology jackass and until I get one you can keep your reviews to yourself." to Casey
"I know it's so hard taking off your Eagle Scout uniform because you look so snappy in it. But I never wanted your help, I never needed your help. And God knows that I never asked for it." to Casey
April is the Cruelest Month
"That's all for us but like your next door neighbor we just won't go away..." to the viewers
"I was hoping on saying a few words before we started. I know I've spoken to all you individually but it's worth saying again out loud that my behavior last week both on and off the air was regrettable. I appreciate those who have forgiven me and I understand those who haven't yet. I say these are fractious times, professionally, personally and socially...It seems to me that more and more we've come to expect less and less from each other and I want us to start bucking that trend. We need each other badly. I need you all badly." to everyone but the absent Casey
La Forza Del Destino
"You know, in times like these, the last days of a war, the last days before going off to a war... you know what people do? They sleep with each other." to Kim and some of the other production staff
"Let me tell you something, Casey. I wouldn't mind living in L.A. You know what you got out there? Sunshine. You got sunshine, you got the Pacific Ocean, you got driving around with the top down. " to Casey about a job offer
"Okay, just so I get this straight, is there someone here who is my secretary and I've just never known it?" (who learned Kim wasn't his secretary
Dan: "Three years, I always thought she was my secretary."
Casey:"She was good."
Dan: "Yep. So, while we're tying up loose ends, do we share an office, or am I just here a lot?"
Casey: "You're just here a lot."
Dan: "I have my own office?"
Casey: "Yeah."
Dan: "Where?"
Casey: (sighs) "That's my confession."
Dan:"What?"
Casey:"This is your office. Mine's someplace else."
Dan:"You're kidding."
Casey: "Nope."
Dan: "Where?"
Casey: "I dunno. I just always liked this one."
Dan: "All right, well, it seemed to work out okay."
Casey: "Yeah."
Dan: "Next place, we should share an office again."
Casey: "Yeah."
Dan: "And we should have someone who pretends to be our secretary."
Casey: "Yeah."
Quo Vadimus
"Casey, I can't possibly concentrate. No human being could be expected to concentrate under these kinds of circumstances." who learned Rebecca sent him flowers.
"Walks out of my life a year ago, she walks back in with cards and a flower, and Casey, I ask you- How can I be expected to concentrate?" still moaning about the flowers.
"You're divorced, I mean, not just in Rebecca Land."
"I just got hit in the head with a ladder, I gotta buy you food now?" To Rebecca
"They made us a job offer in L.A., but Casey's gonna stay here. And I think I'm not. If it turns out Sports Night's over, I'm gonna have to make that decision, and frankly, I don't want you factoring into that. " to Rebecca
"Well, looks like we're stuck with each other for a little while. Let's go to the American League." to viewers
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