Ghosts in the Smoke Part 30

Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely characters, Aaron Sorkin and his friends do.

Sam and Josh are caught in a hotel fire.

Spoilers: Everything up through The Leadership Breakfast (set two days later)

Archive: Anywhere you want, just please e-mail me Partnrpal@aol.com

Ghosts in the Smoke

By Mer

Part 30

White House-Presidential Residence

"Margaret, Leo wanted me to speak with Donna, is she awake right now?" Toby asked as he reached the door to the bedroom that Donna had been forced to lay down in.

"I think she probably is." Margaret said coldly from her position in front of the bedroom door.

"Am I allowed to go in and see her or not?" Toby asked, once he realized that she had made no effort to move away from the doorway.

"I guess you can go and in and see her. But if you upset her Toby…" Margaret's voice trailed off but from the look in her eyes Toby knew she meant business.

"I will try not to upset her any further." Toby replied as gently as he could.

"Fine." Margaret said as she moved from the doorway and let him enter.

Toby went in the room and he found Donna curled up in a ball on the bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and extremely puffy. Her hair was matted down. She looked awful. She looked at Toby with haunted eyes and it made him cringe to see her like that.

"Donna are you okay?" Toby asked softly.

"Funny you should ask such a question. I mean what was it you said last night? That only stupid people like me…" Donna began angrily but Toby cut her off.

"I never meant any of those things that I said last night. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just as worried about Sam as you were about Josh. I'm sorry that I jumped down your throat because…" Toby began but lost his train of thought.

"Because what? Because I love Josh and I haven't told him? Toby, I wish it were that easy. I wish I could just walk up to him tell him how I feel, give him a big kiss on the lips, and then live happily ever after. But I can't do that and you know most of the reasons why. Toby, I owe everything to Josh. He let me keep my job after I gave it to myself. He never once called me stupid for not finishing college. He's become more than just my boss; he's become my best friend. I can't tell him that I love him because he's not ready right now." Donna replied.

"What do you mean he's not ready right now? Donna haven't you seen the way that he looks at you. Don't you notice how much his world revolves around yours?" Toby asked.

"Yes, but Toby aside from the fact that he is in a coma, he was just diagnosed with PTSD. He's still fighting those demons, I know that he's better but he's just not ready for a relationship yet. Especially not one that he might have to fight Leo over, I know that I might not be able to tell him. And you are right it is definitely going to be on my conscious if he dies. But that doesn't mean that I can just give up on him. And you shouldn't either." Donna replied.

"I guess you have some valid points. Donna, I wish that I could tell you that he is going to wake up. I wish that I could promise you that he'll get well enough emotionally for you to tell him how you feel. But I can't do that. I can however apologize for what I said about him last night. I was just angry at the world in general and I took it out on you. I'm just as scared as you are, and I'm sorry for that." Toby apologized and he gave Donna an uncharacteristic hug.

"Don't apologize for being scared, it only shows that you are human after all. Toby, I know that you are worried about Sam too. Toby, go to him and tell him how much he means to you. I might not be able to tell Josh, but you can tell Sam." Donna whispered.

"Josh means a lot to me too you know? I mean I could've let him get fired over the Mary Marsh thing but I didn't…" Toby added.

"I know and hopefully you'll be able to tell Josh soon. But for right now go to Sam. Tell him how much you need his friendship." Donna urged.

"Are you going to be okay?" Toby asked looking her squarely in the eye.

"I don't know. I tried to be strong but then when I saw Sam this morning it just made it all seem worse you know?" Donna asked.

"Yeah I know. I went home last night after Leo kicked me out of the hospital and I tried to drink myself to sleep. But I never did fall asleep and in fact it's only made me feel ten times worse. I just replayed that little outburst over and over in my head and I worried that I might have gone way to far." Toby admitted.

"Well you did cross a line but I forgive you." Donna replied.

"Try and get some sleep okay? I was wrong, Josh does have a lot to want to come back for." Toby whispered.

"Just as long as you promise to talk to Sam. Oh and by the way, maybe not mentioning that you are trying to replace his best friend might help." Donna teased.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Toby replied.

"Now go and talk to Sam. I'll be okay." Donna assured him.

"Okay, just don't sic Margaret the guard dog on me again." Toby joked.

"Sorry about that. Mrs. Bartlet put her there not me." Donna replied.

Leo's Office

"Leo there is someone here to see you." Bonnie called from the hallway.

"I already said that Toby could go to the hospital already." Leo barked.

"Leo, I meant that there is a woman here to see you." Bonnie said as she entered his office.

"By all means send her in then." Leo replied to Margaret's temporary replacement.

"Leo." Sarah Lyman said as she entered his office.

"Sarah, why didn't you tell me that you were coming? I would've sent a car over for you and had you picked up." Leo said once he recovered from the shock.

"I was about to but then I heard the press conference and I figured that you shouldn't be bothered right away." Sarah replied.

"Have you been to the hospital yet? I was going to finish reading this brief and then I had planned on heading back." Leo said.

"No I haven't been to the hospital yet. I'm kinda scared to." Sarah admitted softly.

"Sarah, Josh cares about you. He would want to see you." Leo assured her.

"But I've been a horrible mother to him for all of these years. I mean we have barely even spoken since Noah died. I pushed him away." Sarah sobbed softly.

"But he hasn't given up on you yet." Leo replied gently.

"I wish that I could just talk to him one more time. There are so many things that I wish I could tell him." Sarah sobbed.

"Oh Sarah, Josh hasn't gone anywhere yet." Leo whispered.

"His doctor told me that he is in a deep coma. He said it was because they weren't really paying attention to his head injury." Sarah sobbed.

"Sarah…" Leo said as he pulled her in to a hug.

"I've already buried one child Leo, I don't want to outlive another." Sarah cried.

"I know but a lot has happened since Joanie. They have made many medical advances since then." Leo assured her.

"You know I wasn't even going to come. I mean I was sitting at home watching some of the specials that they were running about him and I realized that those news programs knew more about my son than I do." Sarah sobbed.

"Josh knows that you never meant to shut him out. He knows that you aren't like Noah. He loves you Sarah." Leo stated gently.

"What about his best friend? How is Sam holding up?" Sarah asked suddenly.

"It's not good." Leo admitted.

"You mean Sam is going to die too?" Sarah asked as she finally pulled away from Leo's embrace.

"Oh it's not like that. Sam isn't okay mentally." Leo corrected.

"I guess I can understand how he feels. I mean after Joanie I shut down for awhile. I couldn't even look at Josh without wondering why his life was spared but hers wasn't. I can only imagine what Sam must be going through." Sarah whispered.

"I know that he feels guilty about the whole incident. I can sympathize with him there, it was me after all who made them go there in the first place." Leo replied.

"This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known what was going to happen. The world is full of psycho's Leo." Sarah admonished.

"Yeah so why did I let two of them find Josh in less than six months?" Leo replied.

"Because as much as we might like to, we can't protect our loved ones from everything. Joanie's death taught me that much. Leo, none of this was your fault okay?" Sarah assured him.

"I'll believe that just as soon as you agree that Josh doesn't hate you." Leo countered.

"Ahh a double edged sword." Sarah replied.

"Come on Sarah, we both should go to the hospital and face our fears." Leo urged.

"Maybe later I should stop by and see Sam. I mean I think he might do a little better talking to someone who's been there." Sarah suggested.

"I'll see what I can arrange, but you have to stop by and talk to your son first." Leo stated.

"I will, I'm just not sure that he will be listening." Sarah sighed.

Links

go back to part 29
go back to general stories
go on to part 31
home