I'll be Parts 4-6

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and the other people at NBC. And the song is not mine either.

I'll be

By Mer

Part 4

I know I already told you that my bad day was bound to get worse by the minute. Well, it did. Not only was I ambushed by Aaron, Donna might be moving away with her boyfriend, I had an unproductive meeting with a Senator, a couple of planes crashed, Donna begged me not to drink, oh yeah and my cousin died. Sounds like a pretty bad day to me. I never should've promised Donna that I wouldn't drink. I deserved to get drunk last night.

I went home around nine last night and I received a call from my aunt. We didn't really get along but she was calling to tell me that Amy had been on the second plane. Amy was my cousin, but she had also been Joanie's best friend. Now my sister, and the person who acted like my sister, were both dead.

I really couldn't get to sleep last night but I tried. I knew that Donna would be worried about bags under my eyes. She would assume that I had been out drinking. I couldn't let her think that so willed myself to sleep. I willed myself into a type of restless sleep that forced me awake every couple of hours or so.

I got up and headed into work. Donna would be proud of me, I was actually going to be early. I couldn't wait to see her. I needed to talk to her about Amy's death. I needed her this morning.

But she wasn't at her desk. I sighed and I headed into my office. I was about to flip the light on when I heard sobbing. I turned to see Donna lying on my couch, curled into a fetal position. What did that bastard do to her? Wait, must comfort first, kill bastard later.

"Donna, what happened?" I asked.

"Robbie was…" Her voice turned into loud sobs.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. Robbie must've been in the plane crash too. Oh man, Donna looks really shattered. I doubt now is the best time to tell her about Amy. So I gathered Donna up in my arms and I rocked her as she cried on my shoulder.



I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you though
I'll be there to carry you
I'll be there

"It's okay." I soothed.

"No it's not." She said pulling away from me.

"What?" I asked a little worried about her outburst.

"Because I think I'm carrying Robbie's child." She shouted.

Her words chilled me. She was carrying Robbie's child. That bastard was going to have a legacy? Wait, can't let Donna know I'm thinking about that. Have to be strong for her right now. Have to make her see that I care about her. Have to tell her that I love her.

"Donna, I love you." I said softly.

"Josh." She said in a warning tone.

"I'm serious. Donnatella Moss, I am in love with you. I've been racking my brain all week trying to figure out how to tell you." I assured her.

"This isn't funny Josh. I have a baby on the way and a dead father, I really don't need your jokes right now." Donna replied.

"Marry me Donna. I love you, so marry me. Marry me and let me help you raise the baby." I stated.

Did those words just come out of my mouth? From the shocked look on Donna's face I guess that means they did. Oh please say yes please say yes. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please say yes.

"You would do that for me?" Donna asked quietly.

"I love you, Donna. I would do anything for you." I replied softly.

"You understand what that means right? You are offering to marry me and help me raise a child that isn't your own. Could you really love a child that you didn't sire?" Donna asked.

"I understand what I'm saying. Donna, I will love any child that comes from you. I want to be the baby's father. A father isn't just the person who sires a child; a father is someone who is a part of that child's life. A person who cares enough to put the child's welfare before their own." I replied.

"Josh, what about Leo? What is he going to say about this?" Donna asked.

"I don't care what Leo thinks. Donna, he told me that I would have a job here as long as he did. If he backs out on that promise then I will just quit." I replied looking deep into her eyes as I said that.

"Yes. I will marry you, Josh." Donna said as tears began to streak down her cheeks.

"No need to cry now." I said as I gently caressed her tears away.

"These are happy tears." Donna explained with a half-smile.

We continued to sit there on the couch. I had my arms around her and it felt so right. I loved her and I truly did want to make her happy. I wanted to hold her for the rest of my life. We sat there for the longest time just holding each other, until Donna broke the silence.

"Where do you want to get married?" Donna asked.

"I was kind of thinking Hawaii." I said, knowing that she had always wanted to go there.

"Seriously?" Donna asked.

"Seriously, I thought we could sneak away this weekend." I replied with a grin.

"I can't believe we are really going to do this." Donna stated.

"Actually it is not official yet." I said as I jumped off the couch.

"Why what's wrong?" Donna asked terrified.

I ignored her and I went and pulled an old box from one of my shelves. I sheltered the box so that she could not see what I was doing. I lifted the lid and I found an old pearl ring that was surrounded by a couple of diamonds. It had belonged to my grandmother. I took the ring over to Donna and I slipped it on her finger.

"Now we are officially engaged." I said as I bent down to kiss her.

"Josh this is beautiful. Where did you get this? You haven't been planning this have you?" Donna asked astonished by the ring's beauty.

"This ring belonged to my grandmother." I said quietly.

"Your grandmother? Oh Josh I can't accept this then." Donna replied.

"Please. My grandfather gave it to me and he told me to give it to the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love you Donna and you would do me a great honor by wearing my grandma's wedding ring." I answered.

"But how? I mean wasn't she at a concentration camp?" Donna asked softly.

"She was, but they both managed to keep it hidden. She didn't want to lose the ring because if she lost him…" My voice trailed off at the thought.

"Then she would always have the ring to symbolize their love." Donna finished.

"Exactly. After the war my grandfather had it engraved. I know you won't be able to read it, but it says our love is too strong to kill. It was a direct shot at the Nazi's." I replied.

"Oh Josh." Donna said as she wrapped her arms around me.

"That's how much I love you." I replied softly.


I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain falling down
When there's no one else around
I'll be

The rest of the day went by in a blur. The walkout was ended because of the planes colliding. The pilots and stewardess's decided that it was better to work then have more people killed because of a replacement pilot error. So everyone was on their way back from Chicago. Donna and I would actually get to leave sooner than I had thought. We could be in Hawaii on Thursday.

I made all of the reservations. I had to be a little covert and use a different last name because if someone caught wind of it, our secret would be out before we even left Washington. I knew that Donna would be unhappy about the secret names, but at least we would be married under our real ones. Oscar and Oprah Kodak were just our assumed ones.

Now getting away would be the hardest part. I had to come up with an escape plan. If they wouldn't let me go to Chicago, I knew that there was no way that they would let me go to Hawaii. I would have to lie about going to Hawaii. The planes crashed around New York and I knew that it was close enough to Washington. I could use the fact that Donna knew somebody who died. We would actually have to go to New York for a while though; Donna would kill me if I used Robbie as an excuse.

"Leo!" I said when I saw him.

"Hey Josh. Everything okay with you?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Leo, Donna lost a friend on that plane crash and…" I trailed off not really wanting to mention Amy.

"I know she died Josh." Leo said interrupting me.

"What?" I asked.

"Amy Hogan was your cousin right?" Leo asked softly.

"Yeah." I said without looking at him.

"I think that you both should go to the Memorial Services and see what you can find out." Leo urged.

"Thank you. And Leo could you keep my cousin out of this?" I asked quietly.

"I know how close she was to Joanie." Leo stated.

"Leo, I really can't do this right now." I begged.

"I know, but talk to someone about it please." Leo pleaded with me.

"Don't worry this isn't going to manifest itself. I swear." I assured him.

"Okay. Oh and talk to C.J. before you go." Leo requested.

Damn, he wanted me to talk to C.J. she could smell a secret a mile away. Okay I know yesterday's conference was flawless, as well as the one I did about the plane's crashing. Maybe the one today was bad, I guess I was too excited to even pay attention. How could I have messed it up? I honestly couldn't even remember it.

"Joshua, there you are my boy." C.J. said as I stepped into her office.

"Evening C.J." I said with a grin.

"I'm glad you didn't make the front page." C.J. said as she waved a paper in front of me.

"I can be a good boy." I joked.

"Josh, I want to say that I'm grateful you were here and not there." C.J. stated suddenly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because then I would never be able to give you this." C.J. said as she handed me a box.

"Gee, C.J. you really shouldn't have." I said.

"Just open it." C.J. urged.

I opened the box and inside of it was a little statue of the Sears Tower. I had complained that by not being able to go with them that I was going to miss seeing the greatest landmark in all of Chicago. C.J. assumed that I had been talking about the Sears Tower.

"This is great C.J., but I meant Wrigley Field." I said with a laugh.

"What? That is the greatest landmark in the city? A baseball stadium!" C.J. exclaimed.

"Uh huh. Oh by the way Donna and I are going to New York for a few days to attend the memorial services and to see what we can find out." I said as she was still puzzled about what I had said.

"You guys and your sports." C.J. murmured.

"See ya later." I said as I walked out of her office.

Now it was time to gather Donna, make an appearance in New York and sneak away to get married. I couldn't wait to have her be Mrs. Josh Lyman. Actually, I would probably be Mr. Donna Moss.

Part 5-five days later

Josh told me about the plan to attend the memorial and then get married. I thought that it was really sweet that he would go there with me. I had already planned on going alone, because I figured that Leo would tell him no. But I guess he figured that Josh would be okay as long as I was there with him.

The memorial service was a little surreal. I was surrounded by a bunch of people who were crying there eyes out and I couldn't help but get emotional myself. Josh let me cry on his shoulder. I noticed that he looked upset too. Again, I thought that he was being sweet.

After the service we snuck off to Hawaii. I couldn't believe that he gave me such a stupid made up name. Oprah Kodak, oh yeah that sounds like a normal name. But no one seemed to notice. That first night Josh slept on the couch. He said that we had better leave the sleeping together part for after the wedding.

When I woke up the next morning he was gone. I began to panic but I found a note that he had written. He mentioned that it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. I smiled at that. Then I also found a box that was labeled wedding traditions. Josh had gone all out. All I could think about was when did he have the time to do all of this?

Inside the box was a pearl necklace with a piece of paper saying that it was something borrowed. Then there was a blue barrette with the words something blue. Like I hadn't figured that one out. Then there was a receipt to pick out a dress at this one dress shop, and yes it was the something new. At the bottom of the box was a drawing of the ring and the words something old.

As I was putting the stuff away, I found another note. It gave me directions to where we were going to get married. He also said that I could still back out at any time and he would understand. Man, he was just the sweetest guy.

I hurried and went down to the dress shop. I picked out a beautiful but simple white dress. I went up to purchase it and the lady asked me if my name was Oprah.

"Yes." I replied trying to hide my laughter.

"Well, Oscar told me to tell you that Rosa's Floral Shop will have your bouquet ready." She said as she gave me a wink.

I went back to hotel and I got dressed. Then I headed to Rosa's Floral Shop. An old woman smiled as soon as I opened the door. She went running in the back. When she came back out she brought with her a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and two leis.

"Your ride will be here any minute." She assured me.

Sure enough a horse drawn carriage arrived to pick me up. Man, Josh was turning out to be really, really romantic. The carriage took me to a secluded area near this gorgeous waterfall. When I stepped out of the carriage and the wedding march began to play.

Josh was waiting for me. He had this huge smile on his face. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to do this. All I could was that I was actually marrying Josh Lyman. My friend, my boss, and I couldn't be happier.

After a beautiful ceremony he took me to this romantic dinner. My head was spinning. Josh was being so sweet and so kind. I knew that I wouldn't be sorry for saying yes. Josh was going to be the father of my baby. He was going to be there for me the rest of my life.

The dinner was followed by a night filled with romantic lovemaking. I felt like I was on cloud nine. Josh was the first one to fall asleep. I couldn't sleep because I was still so happy. I was lost in thought when I heard Josh calling out in his sleep. He was having a nasty nightmare.

I tried to wake him up but I couldn't. I could tell that he was dreaming about the shooting. Since I couldn't wake him up I just wrapped my arms around him tighter. I held him and soothed him until his breathing returned to normal. My poor sweet Josh needed me, and I was glad that I could help him.


And when you're there with no one to hold
I'll be the arms that reach for you

But that all happened a few days ago, now I was sitting at my desk while Josh talked to Leo. He was telling him all about the fact that we were married. Josh came back and he had slumped shoulders. I was afraid of what they meant.


And when you feel your faith is running low
I'll be there to believe in you

"Leo would like to see you." Josh said as he approached my desk.

"Is this a good thing?" I asked.

"Just go and see him." Josh urged.

I rushed to Leo's office. On my way there I glanced back at Josh and I could swear that he had a huge grin on his face. But I wasn't sure. No, Josh couldn't have been grinning he wasn't having a good day. When he had a bad day, it took a lot for him to grin. I must be losing my mind.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked innocently.

"I guess congratulations are in order." Leo said with a sigh.

"Yes, Josh and I got married." I said with a huge smile.

"Are you sure that he is going to make you happy?" Leo asked.

"He already has." I smiled.

"I just wished that he hadn't of lied to sneak away. I mean it was pretty lame for him to use the memorial services as an excuse." Leo said with a tinge of annoyance.


When all you find are lies
I'll be the truth you need

"We did go to the memorial services. I lost a dear friend in that crash." I said, the smile falling from my face.

"But you were married in Hawaii." Leo protested.

"Yes, but we made a stop in New York first. Honest Leo, Josh wasn't lying about that. In fact he didn't lie to you at all. Granted, he excluded our Hawaii trip, but he didn't lie about it." I said in an angry tone.

"Okay, I stand corrected. Donna, this doesn't really make me very happy. I talked to the president about it and he said that we would have to let…" Leo began.

"You are not firing Josh over this!" I exclaimed.

"I wasn't going to say that." Leo assured me.

"Well, then I guess I will clear out my desk." I replied.

"Donna if you would've just let me finish I would've told you that we are very happy for both of you. We are going to let you both continue to work here as long as it doesn't become a problem." Leo said.

"Oh thank you, thank you." I replied as I jumped up to hug him.

"Don't hug me yet, C.J. is going to be royally pissed that she wasn't at least invited." Leo joked.

"Sam's going to mad too." I replied.

"And Toby will be mad because we are making such a big deal out of this." Leo added.

"Yeah. Hey Leo did you get a chance to watch that tape I left on your desk?" I asked.

"Why is it your honeymoon video?" He joked.

"No, but it is a video of a press conference that Josh gave. I really think you ought to watch it." I said seriously.

"Did he mess something up that I missed?" Leo asked with a scowl.

"No. Just watch and see for yourself." I said as I turned to leave.

"By the way are you Donna Moss-Lyman now or are you just Donna Lyman? I have to know for personnel." Leo asked.

"Donna Lyman, I think Josh would kill me otherwise." I replied with a laugh.

"It would be a good fight to watch." Leo stated.

I turned and I went back to Josh's office. He had already gathered Toby, C.J., Sam, and Charlie in his office. His eyes lit up as I walked in.

"May I now present to you, Mrs. Josh Lyman?" Josh asked as everyone's jaws dropped to the floor.

I gave Josh a kiss on the lips. I could hear some shocked noises coming from the four of them. I pulled away and stood side by side with my husband.

"I can't believe you guys actually got married." C.J. said in a shocked voice.

"Hey, didn't you promise me that I could be your best man if you ever got married?" Sam protested.

"Now Zoey is going to get the wrong idea." Charlie muttered.

"It's about damn time. Do you have any other pressing business?" Toby asked.

"Sorry Toby I didn't realize I was interrupting something important." Josh joked as I punched him in the shoulder.

"Trying to change him already." Sam joked.

"That hurt by the way." Josh replied.

"Well, I believe that you deserved it. Congrats, but if you'll excuse me I have a boring senator to meet with." Toby said and he left the room.

"He's just jealous that you didn't invite him." Charlie joked.

"I can't believe that you didn't tell me. Joshua, you are in so much trouble. I thought Donna had a boyfriend." C.J. complained.

"C'mon guys we should leave them alone. They are going to need it. I hear the president is already planning to talk to them about the sanctity of marriage or something." Charlie warned.

"Oh boy, first day back and already a long lecture. Glad I'm not you." Sam joked as they all walked out.

"How come you let Leo believe that you had lied?" I asked.

"I didn't, he never even mentioned it to me." Josh said with a sigh.

"You swear?" I asked.

"I swear." Josh assured me.

"Josh, I wanted to ask you about something." I said as my voice got that serious tone to it.

Josh's face paled. I don't know what was running through his mind. I thought that we should at least discuss his nightmares. But the look on his face made it seem like he was worried about something else.

"Donna what's wrong? What did I do?" Josh asked.

"It's not something you did. Josh how long have you been having nightmares?" I asked.

"I don't know on and off since the shooting, I guess. Stanley says that they are normal. I don't even remember them anymore. They used to paralyze me with fear. They don't anymore." He assured me.

"You had one the other night and I couldn't wake you up." I said softly.

"I'm sorry." Josh replied.

"You can talk about them with me. I mean if they ever start to bother you again, will you promise that you will tell me." I asked.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to." Josh replied with a shrug.

"You can tell me anything. I'm here to help you." I smiled.


When you need someone to run to
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you though
I'll be there to carry you
I'll be there
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain falling down
When there's no one else around
I'll be

Part 6

I had been a married man for a few days now and I was loving it. For the time being we lived at Donna's apartment. She said that there wasn't enough room in my apartment, to which I had kind of agreed. We went house hunting and Donna saw this quaint little house that she adored. The problem was that it needed a lot of work. What she didn't know that I went and put a down payment on it. I had plans of secretly fixing it up and surprising her with it.

"Josh are you sure that Donna won't figure out we aren't at a meeting?" Sam protested as he was scraping paint off a wall.

"Yeah Josh, how you get her to believe you?" C.J. asked.

"I have my ways." I laughed devilishly.

I looked around and all the members of the senior staff were helping me fix the house up. Even Leo had agreed to help. President Bartlett knew that he wouldn't be able to sneak away so he sent Zoey and Charlie in his place. Everyone looked like they were having fun. They all agreed to come and help whenever they found a free moment, today was only the first day but they were all working hard at stripping the paint off the walls.

"Do you think that Donna would appreciate a picture of all of us hard at work?" Zoey asked and was answered by moans.

"I am not getting my picture taken." Toby stated angrily.

"Ah, Toby lighten up, being covered in paint chips suit you." Leo joked.

"Too bad that your father isn't here to see you." Charlie said as he picked a couple of paint chips out of Zoey's hair.

"Believe me I'm sure he has someone spying on us." I joked.

"Oh is that why there is a video camera here?" Sam said as he pointed to a camcorder on the counter.

"That is not a video camera." Leo protested.

"Oh really then what is it Leo?" C.J. asked.

"It's a…" Leo's voice trailed off.

"I knew it, I knew I never should have agreed to this." Toby complained.

"But Toby…" C.J. began.

"We wouldn't what you left behind to spill the beans on our plan." I finished.

"Like I would tell anyone." Toby protested.

"Ginger would." Sam joked.

"Oh and Cathy is Ms. Quiet?" Toby retorted.

"No, but she asked for the day off." Sam responded.

"Joshua, would you please explain to me why this has to be a surprise?" Toby whined.

"Because he wants to…yeah Josh why does this have to be a surprise?" C.J. asked.

"I know, I know." Sam said jumping up and down like a little boy.

"Okay, why Sam?" Charlie asked as he almost doubled over with laughter.

"He wants to surprise her to show that he can do some things on his own." Sam replied.

"Not exactly." I replied as Sam's face fell.

"But, but…" Sam protested as the room filled with laughter.

"I think Josh wants to surprise her with a house to show how much he has appreciated everything she has done for him." Leo offered.

"Well, if that's the reason then couldn't you have sprung for a bigger house?" C.J. piped up.

"It's the one she really wanted." I protested.

"Hey we should be grateful, can you imagine how long it would take to re-paint a mansion?" Zoey joked.

"I would help spring for professionals." Toby replied with a laugh.

We broke for lunch a few minutes later. Leo had money for pizza that he said came from the president. It was kind of fun to sit around on the floor with some of my closest friends knowing how much Donna would appreciate their efforts. The video camera hadn't been on but we decided to make a video of our progress to show how hard we worked. Toby was reluctant, but he said it might be kind of fun to watch later on.

"Josh, can I talk to you a moment?" Leo asked as I grabbed a piece of pizza.

"Sure, why don't we go back to the bedroom?" I replied.

"Josh, I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you." Leo stated.

"Why thank you." I replied with a cocky smile.

"No, I mean I am proud of what you said at the briefing." Leo clarified.

"How did you know about that?" I asked.

"Donna left the video on my desk. Josh, I want to apologize to you." Leo said seriously.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"I think I may have been the leak." Leo said in an apologetic voice.

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad that it's finally out. It can't hurt me anymore." I said with a proud voice.

"I am also proud of you for marrying Donna. I know that sneaking away to get married is a pretty big step. I also knew that when you came and told me that you were willing to anything to keep her happy. I think that you were even willing to give us all up for her." Leo stated.

"Yes, I was. I was so afraid that you would ask her to be fired. I wasn't about to let that happen." I answered.

"How are you, Josh? I mean with losing Amy and all?" Leo asked quietly.

"I know that this sounds ridiculous but Amy's death helped me realize that I loved Donna. Amy wasn't married and she didn't have any kids. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be alone. Donna has always been there for me, and I have always cared about her which is probably why my relationships have all sucked." I replied.

"After you were shot no one could believe it. We didn't know what to do. Donna was the one who offered to stay near you. She was the one who gave us updates and who later kept us from making you come back to work too soon. I knew that she loved you I just wasn't sure that the feeling was mutual." Leo admitted.

"I have loved her for a while now. I was just too stupid to see it." I replied.

"Yeah, C.J. always said that you would never have a clue." Leo laughed.

"Hey, I think I found the clue." I protested.

"Yeah, because a neon sign fell on your head." Leo replied.

"I can see where I am not loved." I pouted.

"Josh, if we didn't love you we wouldn't be here. Only you could get us to do free manual labor." Leo pointed out.

"Yeah I guess." I said as I flashed him a cocky grin again.

"I never thought I could watch your ego expand by the second." Leo joked.

"Hey that was my piece of pizza." We could hear Sam yell.

"Yeah well, you spilled Mt. Dew on mine." Toby replied.

"I think we had better get back before we spend the next couple of hours cleaning up after a food fight." I stated.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Leo responded.

We worked for the rest of the afternoon until I had to leave to go and pick up Donna. Everyone was exhausted but they each signed their names on a calendar for when they could come back and help some more. C.J. had helped me make a chore list and a supply list. Everyone agreed to work off the lists, so that everything would eventually get done.

"And just where have you been?" Donna asked as I strolled back in to the office.

"At a meeting." I replied with a serious look.

"Uh huh, which is why the person you were supposed to be meeting with has called twice for you." Donna replied with mild annoyance.

"Donna, it's top secret I can't tell you yet honest." I replied.

"But you will tell me eventually?" Donna asked in a childish voice.

"Only if you are a good girl." I replied with a grin.

"Oh please." Donna said as she rolled her eyes.

"Come let's go home." I said as I held out her coat.

"I don't really think of my apartment as much of a home." Donna replied.

"Well, it's our house for now." I answered.

It was killing me not to tell her. She would probably be upset that I was missing all of the house hints that she was throwing at me. I had to laugh at that one. In a couple of months or so, she would have the house that she dreamed off. But for now, she would have to be kept in the dark. Besides, I heard that paint fumes were bad for pregnant women.

A cold February drizzle was coming down as we walked out to my car. Donna just laughed and she twirled around in the rain.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Enjoying the weather. Come on Josh, dance with me." She begged.

"I guess." I replied as I set my book bag in the car.


I'll be the sun
When your heart's filled with rain
I'll be the one
To chase the rain away

We danced around in the rain. I was just happy to be with her. I loved her enough to dance around in the cold. Donna smiled and she giggled as she pulled me closer. We danced to the silent music that played in our heads.


I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you though
I'll be there to carry you
I'll be there
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain falling down
When there's no one else around
I'll be

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