Unwelcomed Changes
By Mer
Part 10
Rosslyn Long Term Care-Josh's Room
"I guess I'll be going now." Sam snickered as he turned to leave the room.
Donna was torn between going after Sam and finding out what happened or staying
with Josh. The look of told guilt on Josh's face told her that she needed to stay with
him. He looked completely shattered. Sam took the opportunity to get away before
Donna yelled at him.
"Josh what to you mean that you wish you had died either of those two nights?" Donna
asked quietly.
"You wouldn't understand." Josh mumbled in a defeated voice, really not wanting to
rehash it out with her.
Donna wasn't sure what to make of how he was acting. She noticed that he was trying
to close himself off from the world again like he had after the shooting. She wondered if
he could even remember that night, or if he was having flashbacks or something.
"Josh, what can you tell me about that night?" Donna asked trying to help him.
"Apparently not enough." Josh replied guiltily.
"Why do you say that? Was it something that Sam said to you?" Donna asked.
"It was something that I'm glad he told me. But no I don't remember a damn thing
about that night." Josh replied but refused to elaborate any further.
"It's okay." Donna replied.
"It is far from okay Donna. I've been in a hospital for two months now and apparently
because I screwed up. I don't remember ever going to the hotel or anything that
happened after the underwear incident. And I'm sorry for that by the way." Josh replied
in a mildly angry voice.
"Josh you could at least look me in the eye when you say that." Donna reprimanded in
a hurt voice.
"I wish I could." Josh muttered crossly, though his anger wasn't directed at Donna.
"What do you mean by that?" Donna asked in a mildly angry voice.
"I can't look you in the eye Donna because I'm blind." Josh replied with a bitter sigh.
"Very funny Josh." Donna commented sarcastically.
"I wasn't joking Donnatella." Josh replied in a tone that Donna knew meant business.
"What? You're blind? Is it permanent?" Donna asked in a soft voice, barely choking the
sentence out.
"They don't know yet, I have to go in for some tests tomorrow. I guess it's a small price
to pay for what I did." Josh replied and he turned away from her.
"What did you do that was so horrible?" Donna asked.
"Which time?" Josh asked angrily.
"Whatever one you want to tell me about." Donna replied softly.
"First there was the fire when I was six and Joanie was babysitting. I burned the damn
house down with my sister in it when the popcorn maker short-circuited. And more
recently, I apparently froze in the stairwell when we were trying to go down. I was the
reason that we were trapped and I was the reason that Joanie died. So I guess
blindness is a small price to pay." Josh replied angrily.
"Josh there was" Donna began but Josh stopped her.
"It was all my fault, trust me." Josh replied.
"Can you even remember either fire?" Donna questioned, unsure if she should be trying
to force the issue out of him.
"Donna please I don't feel like talking about this anymore." Josh replied in a voice that
he used at Christmas.
Donna looked at him and she could tell that he was putting up another wall around
himself. She hated it when he did that, but there really wasn't anything that she could
do to stop it. Josh would only get edgy and mean like Sam had gotten with her earlier,
and she really didn't want to go through that again.
Josh could hear the hesitation in her breathing. He knew that she was debating
whether or not to leave. He didn't want to talk about that anymore, but he didn't want to
be alone either.
"So you're Casey's assistant now, huh?" Josh asked softly, trying to keep her in the
room.
"Yes, but it's not the same." Donna replied.
"Donna, I hope that you at least gave the guy the benefit of the doubt." Josh stated
with a small smile.
"I really tried too." Donna replied quietly.
"Just as long as you didn't bring him coffee then I guess we are okay." Josh joked and
Donna had forgotten how wonderful that sound was.
"I" Donna hesitated.
"I guess it's okay. Though you might just have to bring me coffee now." Josh stated
quietly.
"We will get through this. I'm sure this is only a temporary set back." Donna assured
him.
"I hope you're right." Josh replied softly as he reached out and allowed Donna to give
him a hug.
"I didn't let a bullet or a window stop you, so what makes you think I'm going to let a
fire?" Donna whispered into his hair.
Rosslyn Long-term Care-Sam's Room
Sam got back into his room thinking that he had fended off the wrath at least for a little
bit. He failed to notice, however, that Toby was sitting in a chair beside his bed reading
a newspaper. Toby peered his head over the paper when Sam got back in the room.
Sam could only groan.
"So they tell me that you have a wee bit of an attitude problem." Toby stated casually.
"A wee bit of an attitude problem?" Sam shot back crossly.
"I guess they were right." Toby murmured.
"If you are trying to provoke me, it's working like a charm." Sam yelled angrily at him.
"My, my, it's only been thirty seconds and we've already moved to outright yelling.
Pretty impressive." Toby commented dryly.
"What do you want anyway?" Sam asked as he threw his hands up in defeat.
"I promised you that I was going to be a better friend, so here I am. I'm ready to listen
to anything that you have to say." Toby said as he shocked Sam by giving him a true
smile.
"Oh please." Sam replied as he rolled his eyes.
"So you want to tell me why you drove Donna to tears, and the president rushing for
the hills?" Toby asked causally.
"Donna is easily driven to tears." Sam shot back.
"No she's not." Toby said as he smacked Sam upside the head with his newspaper.
"And furthermore that doesn't explain your actions. So tell me what's up with you
today?"
"Toby, how very un-Toby like of you. I mean you are showing that you have a tender
side." Sam mocked.
"Samuel, if you'd like to see how tender I can be then I suggest that you keep talking
like that." Toby said as he managed a smile through gritted teeth.
"Well there was the fact that I have been replacedby Mandy!!!" Sam exclaimed.
"Anything else?" Toby asked with an eye roll.
"She was only visiting me out of pity anyway and you know it." Sam shot back bitterly.
"You have no idea how untrue that is Sam. Donna used to think of herself as your
friend. You both did favors for each other occasionally and she liked to think that you
were a friend as well as a co-worker. Just because she visited Josh doesn't mean that
she didn't want to visit you too. Sam she read to you, she talked to you, and" Toby
defended but was cut off.
"Why don't you send her name to the pope in for sainthood. I hear they are looking for
a couple of more." Sam retorted.
"You think you can just brush me off can't you? I can play hardball too Sam." Toby
replied.
"Should I be scared?" Sam said as he pretended to quiver in fear.
"I would be if I were you." Toby replied icily.
"Give me one good reason to be afraid of you. I know that you are gruff Toby and that
you don't give a damn about anyone else. Already having knowing that why should I
care what you think about me?" Sam asked.
"Oh you'll care eventually." Toby replied with venom in his voice.
"Really and why is that? Oh please tell me all powerful Toby." Sam mocked.
"If you want your job back from Mandy you have to get it back through me and trust
me, right now I would rather have a member from West Virginia White Pride then you."
Toby replied crossly.
"You wouldn't dare!" Sam shouted.
"Ignore the pun, but play with fire Sam and you're gonna get burned." Toby said as he
smiled and walked out of the room whistling to him self.