Other Sports Night Quotes

Quotes from characters that weren't on the show very long, or didn't have enough to warrant their own page. Arranged by episode

Season One

Smoky
Kim: "When I become senior assistant is there a union regulation about making Elliott my manslave?" to Isaac

Dana and the deep blue sea

Rebecca: "Is everyone who works on your show deranged?" To Jeremy

Rebecca:"I am serious, Danny, if you turn out to be a jackass, I am gonna - no kidding, as God is my witness - I am going to do something bad to you with numbers."

Sword of Orion

Rebecca:"Have people ever tried to kill you?"
Dan:"Yeah, but I defend myself with my superior wit and guile."


Rebecca:"You like me right now, and you love sports, and I think when you see those two things in a room together at the same time, I'm going to look a little less like what you want." to Dan

Ordanace tactics

JJ:"I want to do my job. I want to help you, which is my job. And I want to do it all without being treated like the guy who ran over your dog, how's that?"

Napoleon's Battle Plan

Sally:"Dana, listen to me. You're not mad that I slept with Gordon. You don't care that I slept with Gordon. You're mad that I slept with Casey."

What Kind of Day Has it been

Elliot:"If you love something you gotta set it free, Dan."
Dan: "That's good advice, dude. Thanks."


Gordon:" You say, "fine"? I sleep with Sally, you say, "fine"? Casey sleeps with Sally, you have a level-three nervous breakdown." to Dana

Season Two

When Something Wicked this way comes

Sam: "You shouldn't think that just because I'm looking at you while you're talking to me, that I'm necessarily listening to or caring about what you're saying. It's just something I do to be polite." To Dan


Sam: "I honestly don't give a damn if any of you work here or not." to Dana, Casey and Dan

Cliff gardner

Sam: "Men like the sound of women whispering in their ear, they get playful." To Dana


Sam:"I don't have to like you, you don't have to like me. I have two priorities. The first is getting from the beginning of the day to the end of the day without having a drink. The second is raising this show's ratings to the point where it's no longer in danger of what almost happened here today. Trust me, I won't make fools out of you." to everyone

Louise Revisited

Sam:"If Dan mentions the internet poll one more time I'm going to cram a motherboard up his butt."


Sam: "This isn't TV camp. I come in and I do my job better than anyone else. I stopped trying to make friends a long time ago." To everyone


Sam:"I've noticed you people have an ability to chatter at someone with energy and enthusiasm regardless of whether they seem interested or not." to Dana

The Giants Win the Pennant, The Giants win the Pennant

Sally:"I don't sleep my way up the ladder." To Sam


Sam: "I talked to a woman named Susie earlier and it seems she's the preferred vacation spot for the men you date." To Dana

Shane

Abby:"Danny you have to get hip to the fact that I didn't get my license in the Virgin Islands." during a therapy session

Cut man cometh

Jay Rydell:"You shouldn't wear your hair so short, you're startin' to look a little gay."
Danny:"Thanks for the fashion tip Dad. That means a lot coming from you."


Chuck "Cutman" Kimmell:"I hate to correct you on your own show Casey but there are 52 states counting Alaska and Rhode Island"

The Sweet smell of air

Sam: "Dana, I have been through alcohol, marriage and network television. If you want to kill me, you're gonna need some kryptonite."

Dana get your gun

Sam:"You've gotta learn to separate the stuff from the stuff." to Dana

And the Crowd Goes Wild

Elliott:"It's a poor workman who blames his tools, Casey."

Celebrities

Jenny: "Do you think your career progress is being thwarted by the inability to make a parallelogram?" to Jeremy

The Local Weather

Jenny:" And I learned when I was young if I get wet I'll dry off. I learned not to be troubled by water falling from the sky. I learned that when I was young the things that frightened me might not be so frightening after all... that possibly, the only reason I was frightened was because I was young." to Jeremy

Quo Vadimus

Trager:"Yeah. It's a good show, Dana. Anybody who can't make money off Sports Night should get out of the money-making business."


Trager:" I just wrote a check for 18 billion dollars, Dana. My scouting says you don't keep a secret so good."

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