Josh Quotes Season 1

“Lady, the God you pray to is too busy getting indicted for tax fraud.”

“LBJ never would’ve taken this kind of crap from Democrats in Congress. He’d have said, ‘You’re voting my way, in exchange for which, it is possible that I might remember your name, pal.’ We need to win. And I mean win. We need to take a curtain call and a victory lap. And that’s how we get momentum. We get it by being tough. We give away nothing.”

“See, you won with 52 percent, but the President took your district with 59. And I think it’s high time we come back and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We’re gonna have a party, Congressman. You should come, it’s gonna be great. And when the watermelon’s done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo. You guys got a band gazebo? Doesn’t matter. We’ll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that’s where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant D.A. we like. And you should have your camera with you, you should get a picture of that, ’cause that’s gonna be the moment you’re finished in Democratic politics. President Bartlet’s a good man, he’s got a good heart, he doesn’t hold a grudge. That’s what he pays me for.”

“You know, I realize as an adult, not everyone shares my view of the world. And with an issue as hot as gun control I’m prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid. But we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?”

“You know, I’m so sick of Congress I could vomit.”

“I’d say it’s roughly the equivalent of fighting the war against tobacco by banning certain color matchbook covers.”

“Do you think you have to be crazy to create something powerful?”

“I want to be a comfort to my friends in tragedy and I want to be able to celebrate with them in triumph. And for all the times in between, I just want to be able to look them in the eye...I want to be with my friends, my family, and these women.”

“We talk about enemies more than we used to.”

“So, five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it’s time to share.”

“I would think that in this day and age people would be more comfortable knowing that they will not now, nor will they ever, be forced to turn over evidence against themselves.”

“Hell, I mean, just the law of large numbers says we gotta win one one of these days, right? Let’s make it a good one.”

“You’re Leo McGarry. You won’t be taken down by this small fraction of a man. I won’t permit it.”

“Let me tell you something, mi compadre. You guys have been coddled. I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not your camp counselor, and I’m not your 6th grade teacher you had a crush on. I’m a graduate of Harvard and Yale, and I believe that my powers of debate can rise to meet the Socratic wonder that is the White House press corps.”

“Why don’t you take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass?”

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