Indiana Shana Meets Odin
Disclaimer:
Shana adjusted the controls on her time machine to go to Odin's castle.If
Xena could get in,anybody could.She wanted to know why Xena was able to do
some serious butt-kicking on Odin.
With a shimmering light,her time machine appeared in Odin's great hall.She
stepped out of the phone-booth sized machine and gazed at her surroundings.
Shana:Jeeze...what a place...and COLD,too.
Valkyrie:Who are you and how did you get here?
S:I hear that question a LOT.
V:Talk,before I kill you.
S:I'm Shana from Indiana,and I came here thru space and time to see Odin.
V:Do you have an appointment?
S:You need an appointment to see a god?
V:HERE you do.
S:No,but I want to interview him for my website.I think he was treated badly
by Xena.
V:Oh,HER!That witch!She killed a lot of my fellow Valks 35 years ago,and
treated Odin like scum.
S:So,can I see him?
V:I'll check.
Shana waited a few minutes.
V: Odin will see you now.Follow me.
Shana was escorted by four Valks to Odin's throne room.
V: Here's the intruder,Odin.
Odin: Hey,where's Indiana?
S:Pretty far west of here.
O:Oh,okay...so why are you here?Just to ask questions? You don't want the
Rhinegold?
S:No,just an interview for my site.
O:Your "sight?"...a fair trade...
S:No,my WEB site...like a scroll.
Okay...I had to really give those Rhine Maidens a good talking-to for
showing Xena where the gold was.Cripes...now I'm telling YOU!
S: Why didn't you keep it here?
O:Hey,they are in a UNION...it's in their contract to keep watch over
it.But,man,are they dense...playing all day in the water.I always like it
when they have to break thru the ice in the wintertime...heh-heh.Serves them
right.
S:Will you tell the Valk to stop pointing her sword at me? I come in peace.
O:(to Valk)...Leave us.Say,Shana,do you want to be a Valk? Nice revealing
outfits...flying horses....How about becoming a Rhine Maiden...even MORE
revealing outfits...
S; No thanks...not my style. So,you nailed yourself to a tree because you
didn't like the futility of life and death on earth?
Oh,yeah...I messed up on that one.When Xena,a complete stranger told me
off,I felt like an idiot---and ME,a GOD!
S:All we ever see you do is talk tough and let Xena walk all over you.
O:Well,I was married a few times---I was used to that,heh-heh.
S:Sorry about that,but you love Grinhilda now,right?
O:Yes,she's pretty neat.But,mind you,she looked like a real mess when she
was Grendel's mom. I mean,a walking TREE?She looked a lot like Hope's
son,only with branches.
S:She was pregnant with your son at the time...he became a monster too.I'm
surprised you know about Hope and the Destroyer.
O: Sure,I hear the news from Greece.Xena kills lots of people's sons.
S:So,Xena steals the gold,makes a ring,then Grinhilda is a monster,and you
can't do anything about it?
O: Well,I ride around waving an ax,scaring my worshippers.Did you see what
Xena did to my ax? She cut the handle off with her Chakram!
S:She does that a lot.
O:Do you know her personally?
S:No...I write about her and Gabrielle.
O:Gabrielle is the blonde? She'd fit well around here..I like blondes.
What's with her wearing a bikini IN THE SNOW?
S:She doesn't seem to mind the cold.
O:Hmmmmm...well,anyway,what are you getting at?
S:How is it you are a powerful god and Xena can fool you with fake
tears,create a monster that terrorizes the area for 35 years,humiliates
you,and kills the Valks? I mean,you couldn't even stop her from stealing the
Golden Apples.
O: Well,I have an off-year now and then. TPTB just wrote me as an idiot,not
the fierce scary god in reality. Besides,did you see Xena in the Valk
outfit?Jeeze! What a looker! I couldn't think straight.
S: So,the Golden Apples are like the Greek's Ambrosia?
O: Yes,but Grinhilda told her about them! What a traitor---I had to give her
a good spanking after Xena left with Gabby.I think she liked it...know what
I mean?
S: I really don't want to know.Why didn't we hear about the Apples until the
end of the show? It seemed like a convenient way of giving Ares and
Aphrodite back their powers.
O:Oh,those "writers" at RenPics...they can't stick to a story line.Gods are
supposed to be powerful. Xena kicked my butt in the castle...and on the way
down the mountain---what a bummer.
S: How did she do that?
O:Tapert never said.She can't kill gods now,but CAN stomp them.
S: And Ares and Aphrodite never said thanks to you,right?
O:Yeah,those ingrates! I think Tapert thinks we Norse gods are wimps.
S: Aren't you portrayed in mythology as having one eye?
O:Oh,yeah,but they wanted me this way. Historians have a problem with
accuracy.
S;Also,isn't Beowulf the one who killed Grendel and Grendel's mother in the
sagas,and was killed himself in the process?
O:Yes; I wondered why they had him here at all.He kept making eyes at
Gabby...I mean,sure,she's CUTE,but in a bikini in the SNOW?And
Aphrodite,too...I just can't buy that.
S: I know...being from Greece,you'd think she would be cold.
O: Anything else? I've got to get back to my girlfriends...er...I mean,the
Valkyries.
S: What will you do if you ever see Xena again?
O:I think I'll be taking a cruise down the Rhine.
S: Thanks a lot...i have to write this up.
Shana pushed the red button in the time machine and went back to the
present.In her leisure time,she would lounge around and add this to her
website.
The End
Indiana Shana Finally Meets Xena
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