This is absolutely one of my least favorite episodes. It's not that it's a bad episode, necessarily, but I watch X:WP for Xena, not Xena trapped in Callisto's body.
It's probably a perfectly good episode, but I tune in to see Lucy. I would have loved to see how she handled this one! The episode starts with Callisto waking Gabs. That would have gotten the bard's attention, having Callisto in her face the first thing in the morning. attention! "Could you dye your hair?" Hee hee! Gabs is getting pretty quick with that staff...she spotted and pointed out the envelope on Joxer lightning fast. Xena is getting pretty good at getting Joxer out of the way, without being TOO obvious. Gabs is sure wound up! First she says "bastards", then she wants to kick some "ass". I can't remember her ever talking like that before. She may want to fight, but Gabs still has the good sense not to argue with Xena. Ares is looking mighty rough! How did they get his eyes to look so red? When Ares lost his powers, why did he lose his clothes too? What's up with Callisto/ Xena's eternal fall in Tartarus? Gabrielle is cranky! And funny! Great try on the pinch...and great backup...if the pinch doesn't get 'em, Gabrielle punches! I also get a kick out of her spunky, "Get your hands off me!" Xena wants Gabs to recite Elysian Fields? Sounds like something a parent would do! Gabs is furious with Xena, but that doesn't seem to bother Xena at all. I had to laugh at the justice when Gabs calls Callisto an "irritating blonde." Xena just doesn't look as graceful in Callisto's body, when she's dropping in on the bad guy to get his invitation. Those warlords were certainly a motley looking group! "If anyone's going to waste the warrior princess, it'll be me." Hmmm.... That scream Xena lets out...puzzles me. Would Xena really do that, even in Callisto's body? I like Joxer's acting afraid though...makes me think of his superb acting job with Queen Gabrielle in Kindred Spirits. Gee...the boat they're on...looks like every other boat from the series. Poor Ares...having to fight off seasickness...these gods really don't adjust well to being mortal. Xena severed a guy's voicebox because he had a dirty mouth? That just doesn't seem in character to me, for some reason. And she depantsed a warlord? Is that a word? At any rate, that DOES seem in character for her. She depantsed a Cyclops afterall! Ares just figured out what a hangover is...the hard way! Xena/Callisto found a little amusement in Ares being called a "pitiful excuse for a warrior." Ares is used to enflaming passions? What boat were Gabs and Joxer on? Where and how did they get it? Why would Sisyphus be pushing a rock up a hill? I remember that story from mythology. The pusher would get almost to the top, and the rock would tumble to the bottom of the hill again. Was Sisyphus such a bad man that he would merit such a severe punishment? Callisto, who had to have been far more wicked didn't even get that kind of damnation! (NOTE: After wathing a particular episodes of Who Wants to Be A Milliionaire?, I now realize this legend is true.) Didn't this Sisyphus used to be a doctor on Trapper John, MD? Now, he almost looks Chinese. Gabrielle is the bright spot of this episode. She's usually so sunshiny in nature, and now, she's surly. Where Xena uses "ha's" and "ya's", Callisto merely grunts. Xena's also seeking attention. It was "me me me me me me me". "It's really rubbing me the wrong way." Hee hee. How is Ares so familiar with Xena's touch? Let's just hope it's a fervent imagination! "Remind me to take a long bath when I get my body back!"...Great line by Xena/Callisto! "A kindler, gentler god of war"....now why does that sound familiar? Ares describes Xena's touch as "warm, firm, passionate, and gentle". Sounds like he's been reading fan fiction! Why is Ares being so gentle with her? After Joxer has been dragging his sword for a while and jabbering, Gabrielle snaps. "Oh shut up! Shut up!" Renee's delivery is impeccable, and makes me laugh like crazy every time! Absolutely one of my favorite lines from the whole series. Joxer and Gabrielle are more interesting in this episode than Xena and Ares. Boy, Xena's double is awfully skinny! "Now forget the monster; it's a big noise-making thinamajig, like him." At the end, when Xena gets her body back, the footage used is stock footage from the show's opening. This is the only episode in which there is no new footage of Lucy. And thus, ends a rather unmemorable episode of Xena: Warrior Princess. Here's what Gary had to say: This is the second of a two-parter where Xena is still trapped in the body of Callisto because of Ares' dirty tricks. The story opens with Xena(looking like Cal) and Gabby coming into a town. Everyone there is irritable,and Gabby is becoming more irascable by the moment. Gabby gets in a fight at once over squabbling fish merchants vying for her business. Xena stops her and sits at the bar. They meet Ares,who is no longer a god. Someone has stolen his sword,and now he is mortal. Note: In other episodes,he loses his godhood by having it written out of existence in THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER,and gives it up saving Gabby and bringing Eve back to life in MOTHERHOOD. Ares explains that without a god of war to keep people in line,there will be chaos everywhere. The fighting villagers and a truly vicious Gabby prove this. Xena receives an invitation to go to an island to try to win Ares sword and become the next God of War. There are ten in all,including Ares himself. He and Xena steal an invitation to get themselves aboard the ship to the island. Subplot: The Gabby-Joxer feude. Gabby is angry at him for any and all reasons,and Joxer is as dumb as ever,pestering Gabby all the time. When the ten warlords arrive,they hear a loud animal-noise,and they are told by their host,Sysiphus,that is the Barrakas,a monster someone has to kill. Whoever kills it will be the next War-god. Sys escaped from Tartaras,and he arranges the situation at the castle. Weapons are given supposedly to fight the monster,but Xena knows they are for killing each other. Fights break out and like the old movie,Ten Little Indians,the contestants are killed off one by one. Gabby and Joxer go into a drainage tunnel to do battle with the monster,which is nothing but a fan for air.The scene at the beach where Gabby hits Joxer and their constant bickering in the tunnel are funny. After the usual fighting,of course Ares gets his godhood back and Sys goes back to Tartaras. He does not switch Xena's and Cal's bodies at once,but leaves. Gabby and Xena walk along the beach and then the bodies are switched. Ares has kept his word. This was pretty much a formula episode,with the usual tough talk by all concerned,and some scary scenes in the castle,with Ares hanging upside-down over flames while the walls close in on him. He is of course saved by Xena. I liked Gabby's turn towards being totally in a fighting mood...it was a good change,and she enjoyed being "like Xena" a lot. Problem: Xena says Sys would hide the sword in plain sight.In fact,one warlord had it,and Xena kills him early on. Ares does not recognize his own sword,and later,Xena says she knows where it is....with the warlord she killed. You would think Ares would know his own symbol of power. And here's Andrew's take on it: Callisto - sorry, Xena - joins a contest to select a new God of War, aided by the recently deposed Ares. Gabrielle, in the meantime, has to resist the ever-increasing urge to kill Joxer. Nothing new there... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * XENA AND GABRIELLE Xena is still trapped in Callisto's body, which is obviously giving Gabrielle problems - note her plaintive request, "Couldn't you dye your hair?" Xena wants to keep Joxer out of trouble, so she asks him to guard the surrounding villages from the warlords who are passing through. Gabrielle, meanwhile, is growing increasingly aggressive. I love her off-camera line in the tavern, "Hey, who do you have to punch to get a drink around here?" She even gets to call Xena an "irritating blonde"! Xena warns her about losing control, clearly remembering how she started her own long, downward spiral. I've said it before but I'll say it again - Hudson Leick makes a great Xena! Even better, she gets to play Xena playing Callisto, so we hear both her scream and her cat hiss. Watch out for the scene where Ares thinks he's afraid of a rat and Xena tells him "No, that's surprise - you'll know when it's fear." Hudson perfectly mimics Lucy Lawless's expression, doing it again as Ares complains about how terrible it is being mortal. She says she found playing Xena very difficult, but she makes it look easy. Xena learns that Callisto was on VERY friendly terms with Ares in INTIMATE STRANGER, saying "When I get my body back, I gotta remember to take a long bath!" As an aside, it's clear that Xena cheats in the riddle game in A DAY IN THE LIFE. She says that she killed Theodorus, but her body was just a tool - it was Callisto who willed the actual killing. If we all played by Xena's rules, a drunk driver who killed someone would go free and his car would be put in jail! I love Renee O'Connor's "Psycho Gabby" act - she's constantly reciting the "Elysian Fields" poem to try to calm down, but being with Joxer makes it very hard for her to keep her cool. Her maniacal laughter as she charges through the caves is hilarious! Xena congratulates Gabrielle at the end of the episode for fighting her anger, reinforcing the bond between them. Note Xena's slight limp after she's returned to her own body - Lucy clearly hadn't fully recovered from her accident. GENERAL OBSERVATIONS Ares has REALLY gone downhill - have you ever noticed that when Xenaverse gods lose their powers, they generally react by getting drunk? It's an interesting theory - without a sitting God of War most people lose control of their anger (hence the amusing fight in the marketplace), but professional warriors who are used to channelling it into fighting keep their focus. Watch out for Virilius. He's may look as big and dumb as an ox, but he's easily the smartest of the warlords summoned by Sisyphus, except Xena of course. Sisyphus was first seen, played by a different actor, in DEATH IN CHAINS. Since then he's died and gone to Tartarus. Ares' comment "I thought Hades had him pushing a rock uphill for eternity" ties in with Greek mythology. Every time Sisyphus neared the top of the hill the rock would roll back down, forcing him to start over again. Joxer's "duel" with the fly is very funny, prompting to Gabrielle to remark "You've snapped, haven't you?" The two of them provide most of the laughs in this episode. Sneaky old Hades! I thought he'd someone else get through the net, but it turns out he let Sisyphus go to get back at Ares after the latter helped Callisto in INTIMATE STRANGER. Ares shows that he has some honour, keeping his promise to return Xena to her own body. It's quite clear that her opinion of him means a lot to the God of War. LITTLE PROBLEMSSo all you have to do is steal Ares' sword and he loses all his powers? You'd REALLY think he'd keep a closer eye on it, wouldn't you? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * This story is in a much lighter vein than INTIMATE STRANGER, but features another brilliant performance from Hudson Leick - I was amazed at how quickly I came to think of her as Xena, and was almost disappointed when Lucy Lawless reappeared at the end (sorry, Shana!). Also noteworthy is the "Laurel and Hardy" act of Joxer and Gabrielle, and Kevin Smith has the chance to explore Ares' more "human" side. All in all, a most enjoyable episode.