A Tale of Two Muses

All right, let me say this here and now. I LIKE THIS ONE MUCH BETTER THAN THE AVERAGE FAN.

It is what I consider a guilty pleasure, and I have watched it a lot.

Both of the Tara episodes involve a blazing sun.

Gabs is reading one of her scrolls to Xena…thought Xena hadn't read them?

Xena sniffs her underarms.

Why aren't they sweating?

And why don't they put their hair up?

Gabs seems more heat affected than Xena.

Tara wasn't a fave of mine, but mmmm…Andros.

All right, when did Tara take up dancing?

Love Xena's "That's not nice."

And Gabs enthusiastic, "Save some for me!"

Gabs swings the staff and Xena catches it. Was it intended that way? I dunno, but it doesn't look like it was planned.

Xena doesn't even know who she's saving.

"You can take over here." Does Xena say that cause she is afraid of getting hit by Gabs flying stick?

Estefan's clothes need to go. They're tight enough, and the straps around him make them even tighter. Man breasts are not good.

Xena was using some great battle moves.

She knocks two guys together, and then uses them for balance to do a fly woman thing on the wall.

Gabs is a swingin' away too.

And what's up with Estefan's frog man hat?

Xena's reaction to "She danced" is shock at first, then irritated determination.

Tara's all sweet saying goodbye to Telemon and Andros, and then she just tries to skip out on Xena and Gabrielle. Her goodbyes change to "Well, let's go!"

Xena hears Tara's case and decides to help.

Michael Hurst directed this one.

Xena really sticks her neck out for Tara.

Esteban brushes past Xena. She gives a patient smile.

Gabs smiles too, and once Estefan is past her, Xena rolls her eyes.

When Xena and Gabs are getting ready for bed, Xena is off-camera. Xena mumbles something about hating fried food, then there's the sound of a zipper being closed and a toilet flushing. I've found that to be incredibly stupid and non-funny ever since the first time I saw it.

Gabs wants to get up and dance, and Xena stops her by smacking a hand to her chest. Note how the hand lingers there.

Gabs is very restless during this whole episode.

Love the loaner shoes she got!

Philemon looks like a beekeeper to me.

Yay! I'm always so glad to see Autolycus!

He tells Xena, "Got your pigeon. What, did you shoot it from a catapult? It's tail feathers were still smoking."

Xena walks with her arm hooked in Autolycus, and even gives him a little pat.

Autolycus tells her he has a good thing going in Oman and the king isn't aware of it. Xena smugly replies, "He does now…I sent two pigeons…ooo…follow my lead."

Xena smiles the full lipped smile a lot in this reason, which is yet another reason for me to like it.

When Xena is introducing Philemon, she speaks of him reforming warlords, dancers, and evil people. She motions at Gabs for "dancer" and Tara for "evil people".

When Esteban is rambling, Xena chuckles wickedly to herself.

Autolycus asks Xena "This plan of yours…does it involve humiliating that horse's ass?"

Xena gives a great, "Yup!"

"Then I'm in," Autolycus tells her.

Lucy is very animated in this one, and seems to me as if she's having an exceptionally good time.

Why won't Gabs praise Calliopy? Xena tries to get her to put her hands up, and Gabs refuses.

In a way, I can sort of see the obscenity in Telemon's painting. I certainly wouldn't consider it obscene, but I do see some suggestive shapes.

Xena and Gabrielle both spend a lot of time in this one listening to Autolycus and Esteban spout off. The pair get plenty of eye rolls in.

When Tara and Andros try to take off, Xena lays a first class guilt trip on Tara. Very nice work!

Autolycus tells Gabrielle, who has happy feet, "Gabrielle, I sense that there's some pent up energy…some frustrations eating at you…some unresolved desires…I can tell…you need to get-"

"Dancing!" Gabrielle cuts him off with a shout! Whew! Just in time!

I love the song "Candle in the Wind", although I could do without the actual dance number that accompanies it.

Gabrielle really starts to get on my nerve with her nervous dancing all the time..

I wouldn't care so much, except she was deliberately trying to get caught by Philemon.

I love Xena's mocking the kids…"Some of you think that dance is a way to express your inner feelings…that it's an art. Well, Philemon has asked me to show you a real art…the art of WAR!"

The first move she's going to teach the young people is defending their perimeter. "It ensures that anyone who gets in your space loses an arm, a leg, or an another vital body part! Ha ha!" Xena ALWAYS likes to talk about nonspecific body parts.

It's funny to see her making fun.

Her staff demonstration is pretty cool. I wonder how long it took Lucy to get it down?

Xena says "My lovely assistant and I will put it all together."

Xena and Gabs had obviously been practicing this routine.

Gabs is sure a happy little camper when she's dancing with Xena. She's beaming!

Okay, we're supposed to believe Xena does the splits and hurts herself. The only way I can see that happening would be if she just plain landed wrong.

Her expression, especially when she makes it back to her feet are the best though!

Gabs or Xena are always on the stage with Philepon. You'd think someone would get suspicious.

I would have thought some of the parents would have spoken up sooner, but I guess they were afraid.

Xena has trouble saying Lykinos's name.

She was certainly right when she said he wasn't a very good security guard.

I love the music in the finale, very light and cheery…a good beat you can dance to.

Okay, the ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I still like it. It's great to see Xena and Gabs let themselves go.

Autolycus grabs Xena, and it's highly reminiscent of Miss Artiphyce grabbing her in Here She Comes, Miss Amphipolis. She looks totally shocked at first, and then she has a good time.

She really lets loose after a while…it's a lot of fun!

At the end, she gets tired of Gabs dancing, so she does one of her vertical flips as a show stopper. She and Gabs burst out laughing, and Xena slides an arm around her.

Ever since the first time I saw this one, I felt that final scene was more Lucy and Renee than Xena and Gabrielle. I would almost bet that the last shot was unscripted, but is too beautiful not to include.

I guess I liked this one so much because Xena was relaxed in it, but was never made to look stupid. Tara wasn't in it enough to ruin it, and I liked the male guest stars with the exception of Esteban. It's definitely a good one to watch if you want a light hearted romp.


And here are Gary’s thoughts:


First, let's get this straight...There was ONLY ONE muse spoken about in this episode...Calliope, and she is the muse of eloquence and epic poetry...NOT DANCE.

The story opens with Xena and Gabby in the desert, a long way from home. Xena smells her arm pit (I love the smell of warrior-sweat in the morning) and Gabby is speaking in poetic terms as she notices she needs her boots repaired.

This is more of Gabby's feet-stuff. We saw her in ARMY that she twisted her ankle; again in King Con; she had foot-rot in SICKNESS, and we will see more of her barefoot in the next bunch of shows.

Tara is dancing, and is caught by the magistrate and militia....he says dancing is forbidden by Calliope, and Tara must be punished. She has broken the "goddess' law". Again, a muse is not a goddess.

Xena and Gabby arrive to see a woman (Tara) about to get ten lashes. Xena and Gabby start a fight and kick butt. Xena frees Tara and recognizes her. Xena, after pounding the militia, says she doesn't want to hurt anybody (too late) and learns that dancing is the crime that Tara will be punished for. Note: Xena, as usual, goes into a strange area with different religions and laws and ignores them, and takes matters into her own hands...she is meddlesome.

Gabby did some fancy staff work, but the thugs just line up by twos to get pounded...too much staged-fighting.

Some Christian religion forbids dancing, and we will see Christian-bashing by Autolycus in this show.

Banishment is the new punishment...a lot of the townspeople say "um" so they do not have to get paid as having a speaking role.

Talemon is a storekeeper with a son names Andros, who loves Tara. Tara says goodbye and leaves with Xena and Gabby. In the desert, Tara wants to sneak back to town and says ever since she was little, she loved to dance. You'd never know it when she was pounding Gabby in FORGIVEN.

Gabby says she came from a town "just like it." Huh? We saw dancing in Bitter Suite in Potodeia. Since when was her town oppressive?

Magistrate: Esteban..."we must preserve our traditions." Get it, Xena?

The three girls come back and Tara says she is sorry and it will not happen again. (A LIE) Xena says if it does, then Tara can be punished any way they want. Big change there.

Xena and Gabby bed down in the store-room. Xena, on a toilet, groans that she hates foreign food....she is never home, so it is almost always foreign. She flushes a toilet and ZIPS up her leathers. Gabby is lying down and wiggles as if dancing. Now SHE has always wanted to dance and is obsessed with it. She says that since it is not allowed, she wants to dance all the more.

Shoe repair: Barefoot Gabby takes her boots to the shoe guy, who has to loan her some hideous boots while hers are fixed. He says Pilippon the Reformer is coming. Gabby says the town doesn't need another holier-than-thou preacher. WAIT! Who IS the preacher? Esteban is the MAGISTRATE. Gabby dances to the blacksmith's hammer noises.

Autolycus arrives in disguise as Philepon, the Reformer. He is dressed in black with a weird hat and veil combo. He meets Xena, who sent for him via carrier-pigeon. How did she know where he was and since when does he have pigeons? They home in on where they live.

He was in Oman on another caper, and Xena spoiled that. He must now work for free. Esteban meets Auto and the organ music, which was way too much, keeps playing. Auto uses a Southern U.S. voice and has the mannerisms of a Southern Baptist...almost like the "healer" ones we see.

Auto: Does your plan include humiliating that horse's ass?
Xena: Yup.

Another great writing example for Season 4 and forward.

The speech: dancing is bad...it is a tent-revival thing with thunder...he again calls Calliope a goddess...she is a muse, with nothing to do with dancing.

Xena: Praise her!
Gabby: No!

Auto to Est: Are you doing all you can?
He says embroidery, dancing, painting, and holding hands are all sinful. He says it in a mocking Southern voice that I found offensive, since I have relatives in the South.

Auto: 'Extremism in the name of piety is no vice". They overuse the word, since Xena asks Talemon if he thought Auto was 'extreme'. Politics in the U.S are always associated with 'extremism' and are usually directed towards the Christian religion.

Talemon does not buy this repressive talk.

Filler: another dance scene with Tara and Andros...pretty good dancing for a place that forbids it. The music was interesting with the candle-light. Andros wants Tara to leave with him. Tara looks great with (my weakness) long dark hair and dark eyes.

Gabby keeps trying to dance in public under Est's nose. Talemon tells Xena that Tara and his son are gone.

In a ruins, Xena is ahead of the pair. How does she know where they are in a strange town? Xena: There you go again...(to Tara). She tells Tara and Andros to stay, that running away as Andros' brother did is cowardice...she just called the guy a coward, plus his brother!

Xena says sticking around and caring for those you love is the way to go. Why did you leave your village and mom, Xena? Practice what you preach.

It looked hard for Gabby to dance in steel-toed boots.

Xena: military training instead of dancing is for "the children". These are ADULTS, not little kids, for the gods' sake! Esteban: military stuff may not go down well with the voters.

Xena holds drill instruction...she looks a bit weird doing this, and the "children" take to it quickly. They copy her moves exactly, the first time. She wants them to learn the art of WAR.

Xena and Gabby do a staff-dance, which was kinda cute. If there was no dancing in Potodeia, where did Gabby learn to dance?... with the Amazons?

Town meeting: Talemon hates the military stuff and will run for office against Est. He says things must change (a ban on dancing for 60 years) or the kids will leave and the town will die.

Election day: an arrow is fired at Auto, but Xena deflects it. She guesses that Est. ordered it done because he feared "anarchy" with change. In other words, he would be out of a job.

Big dance scene: Gabby starts it off, since Xena wants to prove that if Est. does not fear change, well, here it IS! Quickly, everyone joins in, even Auto, who takes off the ridiculous hat and says he sees the light and dancing is now okay.

Xena and Auto look good dancing close. They do other maneuvers, but that was the best one. Now the whole town dances except Est and his henchman. For a place that has had no dancing in 60 years, everybody dances in unison or does a lot of fancy footwork. Xena and Gabby are really enjoying the dancing in the freeze-frame.

This episode showed me that RenPics had lost its way with wasting Tara and Auto on a flimsy premise. Plus, I did not like the constant religion-bashing...it took away from the show. If Auto and Tara had been together in a caper there, it would have been better and a lot more plausible.


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