I'm not too crazy about this one, although it does have a few good moments.
Why does Gabrielle have a laurel on her head at the beginning? Xena is still going for the bangless look…darn it. So Xena's into Yoga now? She has taken up an Indian pose. When Gabs drops her hands in disgust, there is the sound of a needle of a record player being scratched across a record. Xena says Gabs going back for the scroll would make them both happy. Gabs thanks her, and Xena tells her, "Don't mention it." "Okay," comes Gabs' quick reply. Xena's kinda hurt by that, "Rats." She says it was just a figure of speech, and "It's just you and me now, Argo." Gabs says she doesn't have a lot of money. Milo gives Gabs a big hand sucking kiss. How did Gabs know it was her scroll so quickly? Gabs learned all about peace in India? But those episodes were so violent! Love Zera's "What would you do if I told you I found the Golden Fleece, and her name is Gabrielle?' Here are the names of the plays: Sophocles "The Women of Trachis"
In town, there is the theatre district, with today's music playing
unrealistically. A playwright offers Gabby his arm, which a few girls were
hanging onto. Gabby says 'not in your lifetime.'
She meets Joxer, who never seems to have a job; he gets tossed out of a bar.
He sees Gabby's outfit, and says "it's a nice----" Gabby supplies "sari"
and Joxer says, "no...don't apologize...it looks good". He asks too if her
tattoos hurt.
She tells him of the scroll when Zera and Milo arrive....another Milo so
soon? He is not like the one in POMIRA and has a small part as a toady to
the con-woman Zera. Zera sees Gabby and says that the scroll must belong to
her....Gabby asks where she found it.....in the outhouse.
Note: TPTB are out of ideas at this point in the series. We saw Gabby's
scroll used as toilet paper in DAY and in SICKNESS, where Joxer says "there
are plenty of scrolls for everybody" as he becomes a toilet paper dispenser.
Plus this ep, we see what TPTB think of Gabby's work as a bard. No wonder
she hardly writes in the rest of the series.
Zera convinces Gabby to use the scroll as a play. The world needs to hear
her message of peace, and Gabby's ego agrees to do it. She thinks it will
get warlords to repent when they hear of the peace in India...wait until
today, Gabby, to see how much peace there is in that region.
The toady loves Zera and wants to kiss her. She rebuffs him as she tells of
her plan. She will get warlords to back the play, and when it fails---it has
to--- she will keep the money. The only way she can lose, and lose her life,
is if it succeeds. She will have to pay the warlords off and there will not
be enough money. If Gabby dies in the end, so much the better.
Gabby gets to use the Apollo theatre, which is run-down, but Gabby thinks
some cleaning and painting will make it better. There are the redundant pratfalls by Joxer accompanied with the scream of a cat...funny the first time...not the other times.
Gabby is to be the director and Joxer, her assistant. The warlords surprisingly love the theatre.
Casting: we see a lot of Xena and Gabby look-alikes trying out for the parts.
One girl, Polina, does a flip and gets the job. Gabby ends up as herself
because nobody knows her subtlety. Zera, bored, zones out with earplugs
during this.
Minia arrives, overacting, and says the girl can't even shoe a mule. The girl points at her and says, "shoo!" Accurate. Minia will play a villainess.
Enter the Centaur, Dustinus Hoffmanus. He is pompous and will not play a
four-footed creature. He ends up as a man on a horse. Cute. Gabby will do
anything to have him in the play.
Minia eyes him seductively....Gawd! He IS hung like a horse, I guess.
Gabby respects Sophocles, who has a play opposite hers. Joxer promotes the show by nailing up posters. Were we surprised when he hits his finger with the hammer?
Now he becomes the producer. He falls and there is the cat-noise again.
Why are Ares and Callisto look-alikes in the play?
Rehearsal: Gabby and her boring message of peace. There is King Whatsis, and
Minia is with him. Humungus arrives and is instantly convinced to mend his
ways. Boring.
The cast, except for Gabby, knows this 'message of peace' is not going to
make it. They want blood, guts, and babes. One guy says 'big boys in
boxers.'
Gabby loses control and talks of her "vision." Joxer shows her the changes
he made...short skirts and a dummy with fake paper blood.
Zera and Milo: Again , she fears the play may be good.
Gabby meditates and sees that the play must not change. She tells the cast
and they apologize. She later sees Sophocles' play across the street and
watches a Las Vegas spectacle, with blood and scantily-clad women. She knows
that is the way. Her message must be heard, no matter how it is presented.
She comes back and wants more blood, skin, action...the audience will get
what it wants...a hatred for life..."kill 'em all!"
Gabby tells Zera she needs more money but is refused. Joxer yells that the
play is sold out...cat-noise again. The play tells of Xena's weaknesses, so
Zera tells Cleon, another warlord, that if he invests, he will learn how to
beat Xena.
Hot tub rehearsal: Polina: "I'm really wet!"
For more of this girls-in-the-tub scenario, I suggest Shana's SCROLLS. You
will not be disappointed.
The warlord sneaks in and sees how good the play is and Zera knows she is in
trouble. Zera tells Gabby that the play will motivate an army to invade to see the
play. Gabby decides to go back to peace again.
The play:
Xena arrives, finally, and sees Cleon, who thinks it is Polina. He says she
isn't even a good actress, a poke at Lucy.
Note: This could have been called "Queen Con" (Zera) vs. "King Con" of
season three.
All the warlords attack for no reason. Gabby runs as if to action, but she
does nothing but watch. Gawd! What a waste.
Xena, Minia, and Polina fight, and Zera and Milo try to escape. Gabby yells
to the crowd to stop them...she calls it "interactive theatre." Mayhem results, and when the Centaur's costume falls off, the crowd is wowed. Two critics say there is a showing of "Buffus the Bacchae Slayer" playing.
Xena ties up the three warlords and tells them they can have their money
back or give to the orphanage. Giving it up will mean freedom instead of
jail, so they give it up.
Xena is in a very forgiving mood, especially when it is others who have done
wrong. She allows killers loose, and when Zera and Milo are caught, she lets them
go to prey on others.
Note: What a change from her insistence in jailing Najara, who did a lot of
good. Xena is the final judge in everything. Xena thinks Zera will reform.
Gabby thinks her message was dumb at the end. It took violence to fix
things.
Minia and Polina show up and Minia says breathlessly that she finally knows
what she wants to be in life...a thespian.
Xena and Gabby watch the women run off arm-in-arm and say....'Thespian?'
'Well, that's what she...SAID!....'(snicker).
'Why...what did you think?'
'Thespian....'
Joxer hangs upside-down from a rope calling for his mommy.
This self-deprecating humor would have been better if Xena and Gabby were
the players and do it for real. The parody was lost by others playing the
parts, and we never see why Ares and Cal are there.
This ep opens up in a field of flowers, with the girls doing yoga. Xena's
hair is still slicked back and I still hate Gabby's short hair.
Gabby forgot her scroll about India back in town so tells Xena she has to
get it. She will catch up with Xena in Archon. Gabby says thanks for Xena's
letting her go...since when does she need permission? Remember PRODIGAL?
Xena says 'don't mention it' and Gabby says okay. Xena pouts and says she
COULD have mentioned it...hey, Xena: she just DID.
Gabby: "Yeah...me too!"
Gabby and 'Xena' sit at the campfire and talk of peace. Cleon is there and
knocks out Joxer. There is the beginning of the big fight scene in the
background. The audience thinks it is part of the play.