This one is a winner of an episode through and through.
Jon Bennet is one of the hottest guys to ever grace a tv screen. At the time I first saw this episode, I had no idea how much of it was actually based in fact. In Kindred Spirits, Xena asks Joxer about a letter from Cleopatra at the very beginning. And at the end, Xena tells Gabs they're going to cruise the Nile. How did Xena know she'd be getting a letter form Cleopatra? Shianu reminds me of a girl I went to school with SO much, it's uncanny. This Cleo is different than the one we saw in King of Assassins. Cleopatra has brown eyes…you woulda thought someone would notice Xena had blue eyes. Cleopatra thinks crisis only occur when she's naked. Cleopatra WAS Greek. She is bit on the breast by a snake in a poisonous letter. One helper says, "Help her." Why doesn't the voice do it? It's a lovely green foam rubber snake that moves through the water. The letter Cleopatra sends Xena is written in hieroglyphics. Can Xena and Gabrielle read it? Eve is in Alexandria with Mom. Cleo sends Antony a gift. It's a carpet. Are we supposed to think Antony's helper is overeager? "It's a carpet, Sir." Antony reads the scroll…"Will Rome enter Egypt?" Well, now! That inspires him to open up the carpet. Out pops Xena wrapped in chains. She says, "I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, Slave of Rome." And then she smiles. FACT: Cleopatra really did the carpet trick. You gotta admit, it gets Antony's curiosity piqued. "Egypt is yours, Antony," She kisses him. "won't you free me?" Cleopatra is NOT shy! Course, neither is Xena! She has pushed a key into his mouth. He undoes her neck first, then her wrists. She makes all kinds of oohs and aahs. Then he undoes her waist. "Now I am free…with your help." Xena tells him. I love her delivery on that! She looks a little put out when he gives her a cloth to wrap around herself. "Let's just say your conquest is not yet complete," Antony tells her. He is much amused. She wraps the cloth around herself, and you can tell she's thinking hard. They got down to the heart of the matter. Antony wants an alliance of trust and openness. Xena responds, "I think we've got the openness covered, and s for trust, well I really couldn't have hardly come to you in a more vulnerable state now, could I? So perhaps you can trust me…come to my palace…I think I can find a bed for you." Oh my! Brutus kinda breaks in, wanting to speak to Cleo. Shianu knows him. He spots a black haired Eris. Brutus walks purposely away, then stops with one foot on the bottom step. Why? "Great idea, Shianu…I'm sure Rome would love a tour of Egypt's palaces." Xena says. I love the way they refer to Rome and Egypt. Brutus is brave…he clamps a hand down on Xena's shoulder. "She's busy," Xena warns him. Brutus says, "I'm glad you and Gabrielle are well" before leaving. Brutus dances with Shianu to get out of the room. Shianu, "What should I do with Antony?"And here’s what Gary has to say:
This was the best episode of Season
5.
Cleopatra, in a milk bath, talks to
her advisors about Rome. We a nice shot of Egyptian butt as she enters the
bath. She has blue yes, and looks nothing like the Cleo we saw in King of
Assassins. We see as an advisor, the guy who played Adaminius in Mortal
Beloved. Antony and Brutus each want Cleo to join them to defeat the other. Her
navy is the key. She writes a note and asks if crises only happen when she is
naked. We will see right away. A black guy hands a scroll to Cleo’s woman
attendant and is given to Cleo to read. As soon as she opens it, she is bitten
by a poisonous snake, which was wrapped
in the scroll. As she dies, she
signs a paper and says to deliver it to Xena.
Note: In Kindred Spirits, Xena is
waiting for a message from Cleo that Joxer was supposed to deliver, so I think
this episode was out of sequence.
Xena reads the scroll to Gabby. I
guess Xena knows how to read Egyptian. Gabby asks if they are really going to
do “this” and Xena says will take on Egypt and then Rome. She says Eve is safe
with Cyrene in Alexandria.
Marc Antony is with his officers
when a gift arrives. It is a carpet, and when it is rolled open, we see a naked
“Cleo” who is really Xena. She is chained everyplace, and when she kisses
Antony, she slips the key into his mouth. The card read “Will Rome enter
Egypt?” which is pretty obvious that she wants sex with him, even as a ruse. Xena,
by her looks and sounds, likes being unchained by this handsome man. It is
weird that everyone seems to accept the fact that this Cleo is six feet tall
and has long straight hair, plus vivid blue eyes.
Xena says “Egypt=herself,” is
Antony’s. Antony covers the naked woman and says “this is about YOU capturing
ME.” He is not stupid. He says her conquest is not yet complete.
Xena invites him to her palace and
says she thinks she can find a bed for him. Antony says he wants an alliance
based on trust.
Brutus arrives at the palace and
sees Gabby is alive, tho she is dressed in Egyptian clothes and a black wig,
but looking more beautiful than ever.She is bitter, tho Brutus says he
wants to warn Cleo about Antony and Octavius.
Xena is in the bath as Antony
arrives. She calls Gabby “Eris”, the same name as the girl in Kindred Spirits.
Gabby asks her if she thinks Antony is enchanted with Xena yet.
Xena sleeps, only to awaken to a
prowler in her room. It is Octavius, trying to warn her of an assassination
attempt. irebombs explode as he tries to explain. Xena jumps and knocks him
into the hall out of danger. Antony arrives and tells Xena who the kid is. He
is Caesar’s nephew and adopted son. Octavius tells Xena that Antony is
dangerous.Antony, after Xena jails Octavius, says “I came here to put out the
fire”, heh-heh.
Xena tells Gabby that the plan
is to gain Antony’s trust, and let him try to seduce her,. She wants him
down on his knees, figuratively speaking…..I‘ll bet. There is a modern music
scene with some guitar music. Xena feeds Antony a strawberry dipped in honey.
Gabby and the girl attendants watch with surprise. They kiss as Gabby is a bit
flustered. She tells Xena she has a meeting with her advisors to break up the
make-out scene. Xena says, when Gabby asks how far she would have gone (with an
audience) that she would have had Antony begging for her navel. Gabby asks
“your navy?”
Xena meets Antony in a ruins to
make out with him. They are going pretty strong at this point when they are
attacked by about six Romans. Antony kills five and Xena punches one. She stops
him from killing the last one so she can get information out of him. Xena tells
the guy that Cleo and Antony “are together.”
Gabby visits Octavius in jail He
wants the best for Rome and to correct Caesar’s errors. He wants the Pax
Romana, or the Roman peace.
At night, Gabby talks to Xena, who
is wearing some filmy gown showing a lot of her assets. Xena admits she has a
soft spot for bad boys. This guy loves like a FOOL.
Gabby thinks if he can be made an
ally, it would be great. Xena says she won’t let him control the empire.
Antony stands on a map of the area
that is woven into the rug. Xena walks in and insists he take her navy. Get
Brutus into a battle, then she will attack Brutus with her navy. He believes
her. Antony will execute Brutus, all his men, and even Octavius. It is the
Roman way.
Xena is wearing a revealing gown,
which show her braless breasts. Thank you also for the slit-up-the-side
dress.
Xena poses as Cleo as Brutus come
in. He is surprised she is still alive. Xena says Brutus killed the real Cleo,
which he admits. Xena says they have a common enemy, Antony, and will give
Brutus her navy at the right moment.
He takes Gabby as surety in the
deal.
Fight on the Nile:
Xena and Antony are on one flagship
as Gabby and Brutus are on another. Each woman wears a neat helmet and nice
dress. Octavius looks like the good guy in all of this. The ships close in, and
Brutus’ ship rams Antony’s ship. Soldiers fight each
other. Antony is a great fighter as
Xena looks on at first. Brutus knows Gabby was in on the treachery and attacks
her. He swordfights her, punches her face, and kicks her in the face, knocking
her down. Gabby is about to be killed when she slashes Brutus’ throat. As he
dies, he yells “Xena!”. Now Antony knows the truth and attacks her. She has
blood on her clothes from
the battle. Antony says he trusted
her and loved her, but she betrayed him. He then attacks a few times, but Xena
stabs him to death.
Xena and Gabby see each other and
the battle ends. The Egyptian fleet attacked both Roman fleets from behind and
defeated them. With the Roman leaders dead, the Romans leave.
At the end, Octavius says Rome owes
Xena a great debt of gratitude. He will honor the alliance between Egypt and
Rome. Gabby, in her old outfit, looked pretty drab compared to her beautiful
Egyptian outfit. The women look at the pyramids as the show ends.
Note: The timeline and history is
skewed as usual in this episode. In 31 B.C. Antony and Cleopatra were defeated
at Actium by Octavius. Antony committed suicide in 30 B.C. .Xena did not kill
him. Brutus died in 42 B.C. by suicide after losing a battle. Gabby did not
kill him. Cleopatra committed suicide in 30 B.C. and was not murdered.
This show had a lot of unusual
scenes and made a Roman finally look as if he had integrity. Xena did look as
if she was sorry she had to kill him at the end.