Masked Maidens Main Room and Poetry Parlor
~~~~I would like to begin by saying that I have had very mixed emotions about publishing this page. I have battled depression for most of my life. This site will be dealing with many things, some of them being Depression,Rape,Self-Injury,Domestic Violence and Suicide. I am at a point now, that I don't really understand, and don't know if I really need or want to. I do know that I have an undeniable need to be heard though. I can no longer impose on the people I love. I say impose very deliberately, they do not listen , they do not hear, they do not want to know. Some of them that have seen this page have become very defensive, claiming that I should get off my pity pot. This only reinforces my opinion that they do not understand depression. This in itself saddens me deeply. I feel that our intimacy can never be anymore powerful than it is now...and that is a true shame. I have so much more of myself that I am willing to share. Their defenses only build more walls. They think that I don't need anyone or anything to help me with my struggle. I know differently. This is the only way I have of reaching out anymore, so I will impose myself on all that visit this page.
~~~~ I am hoping that if you found my page via a page about depression, you learned something on the way. If not...let me stand on my soap-box briefly. Depression is not "the blues" , nor is it something that one can "snap out" of. Depression is a disease. It can be a very debilitating and often terrifying, crippling disease. It is treatable with medication, therapy, and much needed support by loved ones. If you know someone that is depressed it would behoove you to talk to them. Do whatever it takes to understand what they need you to know. Read whatever you can get your hands on. Put away your own preconceived notions and listen with your heart. If you don't do this, you may not have the chance in the future. Very often, unsupported depression sufferers do take their own lives. Telling them that you love them is not enough. You must show them with your actions that you would feel a great loss if they were to be gone. They understand pain and typically do not want to inflict it. Make them feel this by diligently doing all that you can to understand "where" they are. Listen to their words and let them feel that it is genuinely from your heart.I have provided many helpful links for everyone on the links and rings page. Please take time to visit some of them and learn something about depression.
And most importantly....
DO NOT TELL US IT IS ALL IN OUR HEAD!
OR THAT WE ARE JUST A LITTLE CONFUSED !
DUH!!! We are only too aware of this and by someone saying that to us...you will have done nothing more than enforced our own awareness of our lack of control.
And now having said that ..I feel better.
I do not claim to be a skilled poet, actually the opposite,
but I need to be heard..
Now I would like to introduce myself..........
In MY WORDS..........
"My Little Self"
Turn the key-unlock the door
Break free the rust covered hinges
wake them from their slumber
...Don't forget to breathe...
Nothing behind the door is a mystery
All was neatly put there knowingly
Line up your soldiers in single file
March on! Be strong! Not infantile...
Winds filled with fantasy rush by
Don't stop! GO! Don't ask why
Ignore the shadowed arches and lurking curves
Pull out that blanket called comfort
Wipe away the illusions from the foggy mirror
There is a little girl there
It couldn't be clearer
Don't pull away - don't pull back
Let me hold you and rock you
I can sing you a lullaby
We can rock, I won't leave
I won't judge - Please, don't cry
...Breathe- Don't forget to breathe...
Let me see the reflection in your eyes
I see a banquet! Oh, my!
Years of our life spread out like a lavish buffet
Serve yourself
Have some anguish, some pain
Would you care for some mixed emotions seasoned
with a topping of true regret?
Travel slowly down the line
...Breathe, don't forget to breathe...
How about a little rejection or criticism
sprinkled with anxiety?
Come along my little girl
Our tears can wash away the wrongs from our heart
And cleanse all we've cherished
To make us gleam and shimmer
Let's wash the poison from our wounds
Remove the thorns and rub away the fears
Shake off our old costumes...
we've worn over the years
Hand in hand, let's walk side by side
For we can be one now-
We need not hide.
KT 1997
Copyright © 1997 by Masked Maiden, All rights reserved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The entrance to the Poetry Parlor is below, but please take a look at some of these things first.
Please take the time to leave a message in the guestbook to let me know that you were here. Feel free to tell me what you would like to see more of or less of on this site. This site is here for you as well as for myself. We are not alone in all of this.
Visit my guestbook!
I FINALLY got it fixed so if you missed signing it in the past, please try again! :)
Do you battle
Depression?
Do you know about
Depression
and
Suicide?
Words Of Wisdom
Rantings On My Soapbox
WARNING:
SOME POEMS MAY BE TRIGGERS TO THOSE IN A FRAGILE STATE OF MIND
ENTRANCE TO MASKED MAIDENS' POETRY PARLOR
Please click reload if music or graphics fail due to slow server etc.
Artwork on this site is understood to be free for non commercial use / with permission and proper credit. Please notify me if you find something thought not to comply with this criteriam.
~~~ Kudos ~~~
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This entire site last edited: Sept.15,2006