Wow, so much has happened since I last updated this. I got a letter in the mail from a girl named Michelle, which gave me the boot in the ass to continue writing in this. Heres a run down of my life while away:
Late August -My mom, having just recently returned from W.Va, has a falling out with my Grandmom, while in the prossess of moving Grams into the house. What happens? Gram goesto live with my Uncle, and therefor every freakin minute of hell I went through, was for nothing. How's that for a slap in the face? Its okay, nothing a few years of therepy and many years of bitterness and hostilty won't cure.
A few days later... My mom is re-arranging her room and drops her waterbed frame on her foot because she's to thick headed to ask for help. She end up going to the hospital for x-rays. while she's away, my Uncle stops by with a asshole of a cop, who informs me that I'm supposed to hand over my Gram's stuff, and the key to the locker with the rest of her shit in it. Um, asshole, anything you do with my approval will be overturnable in court since (at the time) I'm 16. Moron. I sent him away with nothing more then my Gram's dog.
Later on that night... My mom comes home from the hospital, I tell them what happened, and they set to going through the paper work of my Grams. Mom turns the water for her water bed back on, doesn't tell anyone, and promptly lets the water bed fill untill it explodes. I. Shit. You. Not.
To read my account of what happened, go here: The Flood
A few weeks later... After all teh water logged shit has been removed from my house, we hired a contractor to repair the floors. Due to the damage, they all had to be repaired. So, mom and I move out and go to the Beach while the floors are being repaired.
September something I FINALLY start drivers Ed. About fucking time. However, I will fall under the new law, which means by the time my DICKHEAD of a Drivers Ed teacher gets done giving me greif and "accidentally" touching my breast while I'm driving (he kept grabbing the wheel) I'll be almost 17, and I won't get my out and out license till 4 days before my 18th B-day. Thank you Mom, for spending 6 months playing Martyr in W.Va, I couldn't have gotten screwed over like this with out you. Thank you. Bitch. ((yes, I am hostile and bitter))
September 16th, 1999. My life is once again changed, during the storm of Hurricane Flyod, a girl I started horse back riding with 4 years ago is swept into a drainage pipe, with her bestfriend, and little sister. She drowns with her friend, but luckly her little sister survived. Sarah was only 12, and it tore me up to go to her funeral. I've gone to 3 funerals for people under the age of 16. I don't want to go to another one for the rest of my life. I learned about her death when one morning I woke up really early to wat the sunrise. I ended up talking to the security gaurd who worked at the condo's I was staying at. (while my house was being repaired) He told me of 2 girls in Bear who had died. I didn't think anyting of it because of their age. I went back upstairs, and was playing with my cell phone while listening to "Good Morning America" (yes, i do notice the irony). They were running a news reel about the Hurricane, and I looked up just in time to see Sarah's face flash on the screen. I was horrified, and prayed I had her confused. Dumped out my purse, grabbed a handfull of dimes, and ran down to get the news paper. I was heartbroken, shocked, and devistated when I realized it was her. Her funeral, was just as hard as it had been for me to go to my friend Tonys funeral several years before. The anger I felt at the unfairness that these little kids had to go through the same thing I did, was blinding. Its such goddamn cheat. She was cheated out of her life.
September 26th, 1999. While looking up information on a car for my Mom at a video game rental place, I meet the guy who'd later become my boyfriend. Brad. Oy. To all girls in Rehobeth Delaware, don't date a Goth named Brad. He's equal pain as he is joy.
Sept. 30th, 1999. I run into Brad again, while out walking on the boardwalk. We spend the evening together, and later on my Mom lets him stay the night at our Condo. ((she "trusted my judgement"))
Well, using my judgement, I lost my virginity to Brad that night.
Do I regret it?: No.
Would I do it again: No.
If I got to do it all over again, would I?: I'd do some things differently, but I wouldn't change much.
Will I listen to ANYONE who tries to tell me ANYTHING about my relationship with Brad?: No. No one can even come close to understanding that relationship except the two of us. I apperciate him more now that he's out of my life.
Did I love him?: I don't know. Maybe. I think I might have, in my own way.
Did he love me?: I think he did, in his own way.
Do I regret anything?: Yes. That he still has my thumb ring. ((course I have his Spawn CD, so we're kinda even))
How long did your relationship last?: Funny thing... I slept with him Thurs, offically started dating him Saturday, and left him Friday. And, ironically, I didn't want to started dating him. He wanted it. I knew I was going home in a week, and didn't want to start something only to have it end.
And now, my biggest worry is running into him again this summer, and how we'll react to seeing eachother. Ick. There is another story about how, 6 hours after I broke up with Brad I ended up making out with his much older friend Tony, but thats another story for another day and YES I know that sounds very slut like. Do I care? No, I don't actually.
Eary October I go home, and spend from Oct-Thanksgiving living in a 1/2 repaired house.
A week after I got home.... I run into my boyfriend, whome was mentioned earlier. At this point, we'd been together for something like 5 months. My longest relationship. ((Yes, I did cheat on him with Brad. And Tony. You won't be able to blame me in a minute...)) Unfortunitly, before the Waterbed Incident, I found out he'd been fooling around with two of my other friends. just flirtatious stuff or so they said. I let him get away with it, when I probably should have dropped him right then and there. Then, while I was away, and just before I left, he spent 2 months barely talking to me, and didn't even bother to send me an e-mail while I was away, dispite the fact that he new about all the troubles I was having including having my friend die. I told him about Brad, minus the sex part, and we broke up. He then turned around and went out with one of my closest friends. He screwed her over too, though. (( I gave her my blessings, and let her have him. I sure as fuck didn't want him anymore.)) And I am quite certian he never loved me. He might have thought he did, but he didn't. I'd also like to make mention of the fact that he tattooed my name on his back. Stupid? Why yes, I thought so too.
Mid-November... I managed to get back together with one of my old friends, Holli. This came about after Jackie had come to my house with some big news. See, naturally I'd told Ann and Jackie about Brad. ((haven't told Sia yet, want to tell her to her face.)) Ann had blabbed it to Nikki, accidentally supposedly. Nikki, knowing she wasn't supposed to know, turned aroudn and told Holli. This is the kicker, I hadn't talked to Holli in like...2 years at the point. This was the first time Nikki and Holli had hung out in over a year. For some reason, Nikki felt oblidged to tell Holli this over burgers at Wendys. Nice little fucking blabber mouth, huh? Then Holli asked Jackie, who raced over and told me. When I later confronted Nikki about her, her defence was that she thought Holli would know better then to blab something like that. ((do you smell that? thats the sound of a HYPOCRITE!!!)) Needless to say, I hate Nikki with the fire of a thousand suns.
A week before Thanksgiving... I did Ecstacy with Jackie and Holli at my house. It was interesting, and I liked it. I haven't done it since, though I am considering doing it again with Holli. ((no, I'm not supporting, nor condoning drug use, but I'm being honest here.))
Thanksgiving...My mom played hostess to 25+ relitives for Thanksgiving. Good feaking lord there were to many people in my house.
Late Nov... was marked by me fearing that I might be pregnant, dispite the fact that I *ALWAYS* used a condom. Thats a note to all of you girls out there too, I don't give a shit if he begs untill the sun comes up, or is certian that his balls will explode if he doesn't get some, MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM! And if you don't have a condom -DON"T HAVE SEX! *achem* Thank you very much.
My 17th B-day... I marked the occasion by getting my left eyebrow pierced. It promptley grew out 5 months later. Shitter.
X-mas... Christmas was actually really good. I got a cam-corder, tons of CDs, and and CD walkman. And clothes.
New Years... I spent New Years in Conneticut with my 2 best on-line friends. It was nice :)
Early Janurary... I met the guy who has become the current object of my affection. 2 of my friends have been going to Indy Wrestling shows in NJ. They've both become friends with a few of the guys. They invited me to come with to a show, and I went with. When I was comming back from the ladies room, I saw a guy sitting next to my friend Alice, with his arm around her. My first thought?: "Who the hell is that with their arm around Alice?" 2nd thought "...Damn. He's hot." And thats how I met Kevin. He's goofy, funny, smart, cute, talented, and something about him draws me to him.
