Hi there and WELCOME!!! I hope you can stay for a few minutes, because I'd like to share my story with you. My nickname was given to me by a co-worker several years ago. Because I am small, with petite features that make me look a bit fragile, she used to call me her little China Doll. Well, it has kind of stayed with me through the years, and I guess it describes me pretty accurately. Even older ladies rush to carry my packages and help me with my luggage! :-)
I am richly blessed to have two beautiful daughters (Alicia and Aimee), their terrific choices in life-long partners...whom I consider to be sons, not sons-in-law...(Dan and Brad), and a little black poodle, that is awfully spoiled. Life, I'm sure you can imagine, is never dull, and to be sure,life has also not always been easy.
I became a christian when I was 15 years old, in the church that I had gone to most of my life. I had been raised to know that Jesus had lived a sinless life, had died on the cross to pay the price for the sins of the world, and had risen from the dead on the third day, forever conquering the curse of death. However, I had never really realized that He wanted a personal, loving relationship with me. He loved ME. He gave His life for ME. If I had been the only person on earth that needed that kind of a sacrifice, He still would have done it for me. I was in awe of that realization, and accepted His outstretched hand of love for me. From that day forward, my life was changed. Now that is not to say that everything was easy from then on....no, it was far from it....but He has given me the grace and strength to sustain me through the most difficult of times.
When I was 24 years old, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. Lupus is an inflammatory disease, that can attack the skin and joints, as well as the major organs--most commonly the kidneys, heart, lungs, and central and peripheral nervous systems. I began noticing symptoms when I was 22 yrs. old, that neither I, nor the doctors, could explain. I was plagued by joint pain, extreme fatigue, muscle weakness, and unexplained fever of 100-101 degrees, every single day, for a year and a half. Instead of the symptoms getting better, they intensified, and I was hospitalized with life-threatening severe muscle weakness that was compromising my respiratory system. At that time, Lupus had begun its inflammatory attack on my joints and my peripheral nervous system. However, through the years, I have suffered debilitating pain and fatigue, severe muscle weakness and incoordination, dizziness, black-outs, severe lung problems, heart problems, extreme weight loss, surgeries, and multiple hospitalizations. I have spent months in bed, and have endured physical therapy, occupational therapy, and respiratory therapy. I have had periods of inability to walk due to arthritic joints and peripheral nervous system problems. I know both the relief of having a wheel chair to get around in, and the humiliation of having to be in one. Medications are a part of my daily routine, some of which have side effects almost as bad as the disease itself. None of them brings about a cure.
I tell you all these things, not to make you feel sorry for me, but to share with you how God has blessed me, and walked with me through the rough spots. In my weakest hours, and there have been so many, God has been so patient with me. When I have felt all alone and abandoned, and have cried out in pain, He was there. When I was angry and questioned Him, He never left my side. He constantly showed me He loved me, even when I turned my face from Him. I remember several years ago, when I was having a particularly difficult time, that He lovingly taught me once again, that He would never leave me nor forsake me. I had been extremely ill for about 10 months, and had come to the point that I didn't even have the strength to pray for myself. God placed a burden on the hearts of many one Monday night, to pray for this little broken china doll. On Tuesday morning, I awakened pain-free, where once I could not walk without aid because of the pain. My lungs were clear, where the night before I had struggled to breathe. My heart was at rest, where the day before, the arrythmias were overwhelming. God performed a miracle in my life that night, and lifted me out of that bed of pain and suffering. One by one, people began to call me and share that they had prayed for me the night before. God had been merciful to me, had heard my cries, and had called His people together to pray. He knew just what I needed, and He provided. As the psalmist said, "Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, o Lord, Thou dost know it all. Thou has enclosed me behind and before, and laid Thy hand upon me." (Psalms 139:4-5)
I still have Lupus....God did not completely heal me that day. I have suffered much since then, and am still suffering today. I know the pain of the dissolution of my marriage, and the fear of being unable to provide for myself. But God has blessed me with His love, His mercy, and His grace that never ends, and always sustains me. Just recently, I have endured a very bad flare, and have come through on the other side of a painful and dark experience. I had to relearn how to walk again, and the grueling task that proved to be taught me that I have only one Person to lean on...God Himself. And you know what? He has reminded me over and over that He will never leave me. I have to trust Him and His undying love. I don't understand the ways of God, nor do I know what His purpose is for my suffering, but I know that whatever He has for me is good. He has promised that. I love Jeremiah 29:11-13, where He says: "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,... plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me, and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
Yes, my friend, there is hope. Hope and a future in Jesus Christ. He wants a relationship with us. He walks with us through every step we take. He even carries us when we cannot stand on our own. God bless you...may you find peace in Him.
More Terrific Sites to Check Out
THE ROAD BACK FOUNDATION
(Rheumatic Disease~Treatment~Research~Education)
LUPUS AROUND THE WORLD FORUM CENTRAL
ANNETTE LEACH MEMORIAL WEB PAGE
(a tribute to our sweet Shawna's mother, who lost her battle with Lupus. Shawna also has lupus...don't miss her story! *** On July 4, 1999, Shawna breathed her last breath, another victim of LUPUS. Our hearts still grieve, and we miss her sweet spirit. May God bless her family, and may we continue to fight for a CURE for this disease! ***)
MARCIA'S HOME PAGE
(More info on Lupus and other auto-immune diseases. Personal Story pages...a must see!)
MYOSITIS ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA
[helping people with inflammatory myopathies, including Polymyositis(PM)and Dermatomyositis,(DM).]
NATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA ASSOCIATION
BLUE MOUNTAIN ARTS GREETING CARDS
