Hello, and welcome to my confusion. I am the Confused Homemaker. For the past three years I have spent most of my time at the computer,and I still don't know what I am doing. This is my first time trying to do this web page stuff. I am blonde so this could take awhile. Oh, that reminds me,did you hear the one about the blonde....she decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly unaware of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when..............

the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

RULES TO LIVE BY IF YOU ARE A CONFUSED HOMEMAKER

1. You know it is time to clean the windows, when you haven't seen daylight in a week, and you do not live in Alaska.
2. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, so mine must be delirious.
3. You know it is time to mow, when you can't see the fence in the back yard, and you call the kids to come in and they get lost for 2 days trying to find their way.
4. Don't ever nag your husband while he is doing the dishes.
5. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
6. Housework done properly can kill you.
7. If your husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives everyone the impression he just cleaned the whole house, trade him in, he's useless.
8. The perfect kitchen is no kitchen, just a room with vending machines.
9. You know it is time to pay the bills , when you get a nervous twitch every time you can't connect to the Internet.
10. You know it is time to get off the computer and cook supper, when your children are in the back yard barbecuing the family pet.
    
    
    
    
    

    Click on the horses to go to one of my three fun pages I made.Rated PG-13.

    
    
    
    
    
    Pictures of my confused family.
    

    
    

    
    I put my "Cousin Vinnie" here
    because I am a good cousin.
    
    

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    The 3 horses and the vaccum (c)K roach.
    The music on my pages are all from
    John, Paul, Ringo, and George.
    This page was updated on 12/15/98.