okay so i finally sit back in my rolly chair and just think for a minute about all the useless bookmarks i have on nutscrape when i look outside my sliding glass doors and there's shit falling from the sky. i think to my self either there's a big damn bird in that there tree or it's pouring. i get up and look outside and it's raining like a mother fukk so i turn down my pseudo-rape of madonna fantasy on the television so i can hear the rain pound my roses to death. the rain is the best when it's violent. i don't like that half-ass crap. and so what if i've dreampt about spiders every night for the past week? and i'm dreaming about a guy that one of my best friends has a crush on. excuse me, had a crush on. he pushed me on the bed in his grandparents' bed room and locked the door. nothin happened. i think he just wanted to see if he could get me alone in a locked room. he smelled like salt from the beach and he's a surfer. so what's with the spiders? she sez. fuck if i know, i don't know. spider, arachnid, arachniphobia, Arachne. Arachne was a woman of greek myth who spun a web and was turned into a spider out of spite. am i so proud? teach me humility. shirley manson is a frickin babe. we brought a stray cat into our house and it beat the crap out of our own cats so we threw it out. it happened so fast, our cats never knew what hit em. like a damn tornado. so i'm dating this guy and he says i'm wacked. he really wants me but he can't get me so easily, i say. sure we can spend every day together. sure we can go to movies. but don't ever say you love me. living in dreams where im still hung up on an ex boyfriend who left me months ago. playin TreeLoot like it'll save my life. wishin i could get freaky to the tune of living dead girl blaring in my hole. swallowing the bullet that flies through that KORN video on MTV.