got the who's who among american high school students form again. fillin it out, i forgot the name of my favorite first grade teacher... Mrs. Houtz, she was pregnant when i left. she put me in a higher reading class and always kept me close to her side, like i was her own. she dug an earring out of my infected ear with a letter opener because i didn't want to go to the doctor and she noticed i had been pulling on my ear for some time. gave me second grade literature. she drank a lot of sprite. i drink a lot of sprite.

i was a loner in that school except for this third grader named christopher who i sat by at lunch, he was cute and funny and liked telling me about his day. he used to wave to me when we were walking in single file through the school. took me to the office when i fell off the monkey bars. i moved away and met him again two years later, we moved into the same neighborhood! what a coincidence. he remembered me, alright... even remembered my name, he said it with an incorrectly pronounced R. what ever happened to christopher?

found the children's book i wrote in 8th grade. lots of vivid watercolor animations. look for them in my visions page. tried to read it to cory, he was very amused... almost like a child... so precious. i enjoy reading books aloud. i used to do that in third grade, i'd read to the second grade class next door. that's funny, when i was in kindergarten i had a boy friend named Wally. i moved away and again i ran into him when i was in third grade, he had moved to the same city and went to my school... i only saw him once, i said hello and i don't think he remembered me.

that happened twice in that school- i knew a kid named Kyle Coldiron when i was a kindergartener in Choctaw, Oklahoma and i moved away, then i ran into him again at the same school as Wally when I was in first grade. i attempted to speak to him in the hallway while he was getting a drink of water at the fountain and the hall monitors liked me so i wasn't afraid... but Kyle was, he said nothing and didn't recognize me, or didn't want to recognize me... i was always fighting over him with this girl named Casey in our kindergarten class back in Choctaw, she hated me, she had white- blond hair and blue eyes. I knew both pronuciations and uses of the word THE. kyle thought i was funny so he laughed at me but Casey always sneered... she's probably fat and ugly now.

that's happened a lot in my life- running into people i knew as a child. i remember them all as if it were yesterday, i had this intense desperation for them to remember me. why did i so badly want them to remember me when i was so young and it didn't really matter?