it's not a sin
titanium skin
just take her for a spin
nice piece of kit
electronic clit
just sit down for a fit
ready to trip
a guaranteed hit
she's all you ever wished

am i a black velveteen? the 21st century dream?

having wild dreams. slept in today. slept naked last night. maybe that's why? put the sheets back on my bed, nice and cool against my skin.

you got a lotta nerve.

worried that he's gonna run away, run to me? but can i handle it...

I had a dream that I was hanging out with Sean and some other people that we know, only I knew them but I couldn't really see their faces... I could only see Sean's and he was hanging on me. Hugging me and touching my legs and arms and stuff. In the dream, we weren't dating anyone, not even each other, it was like we simply existed together in his house which was dark and had hardwood floors. I would sit somewhere and he would lay across my legs or rest his head in my lap... when we talked we talked as though nothing was happening and we weren't really all there and it was just a dream and things would be back to normal once we woke up. I asked him how he and Ginny his girlfriend were doing and he said fine and that she hadn't officially asked him out yet and I said what!?! i thought you were going out since five months ago, that's what I heard, but I didn't hear his answer.

next thing i know i'm walking away from him and he's turnin the corner and i'm walking up to my driveway only i don't have a driveway because i don't live in a house. and some animals that i perceive as kids were trying to trap a field mouse or something, it ran out of the hole and slid into an oil leak under this brown minivan. but i knew i was home alone, except for the animals which were a fox, a crane, and a cat. i crouched to the ground and looked under the minivan, trying to spot the rodent when i heard screeching tires and saw headlights bouncing down my road, i stood up and saw a beat up van tearing down the street.

first i thought, it's my mom, that's my mom's van, but i looked closer and even though it was dark outside, i could see a slight difference in color of blue and i was terribly afraid... i suddenly had the idea that the people in the van were drunk and they had guns as they drove wrecklessly into the yard across the street and started backing out of the torn up grass and toward my driveway. i ran to my house and struggled with the front door, i finally clamored inside and the lights were all off except for the streetlight shining into the front window, the air inside the house was gray and detached... the van backed into my driveway like a bat outta hell and slowly stopped in front of the windows, i thought it was a drive-by so i dropped to the floor and crawled to the back of the house on the carpet. then i realized i hadnt closed the door all the way, i looked back and debated whether or not to take the chance and run back to shut and lock the door but they were already getting out of the van. i ran to my mom's room and looked for a place to hide, i thought about climbing behind her bed and under her headboard, i thought they would never look there, they probably don't think i can fit in there, so i squeezed in and my feet were toward the entrance of the hiding spot and my eyes were clenched shut when they came crashing inside with their gray flashlights...

then the phone rang and i woke up.