I was an eighth grader. And I was starting high school.

Well, okay. I was still in middle school, but I had unwittingly signed up for a high school class. It was a major jolt in my banal existence. The freshmen starting high school were excited. Yes! It has arrived at last--the start of their Wonderful High School Years! These people had spent their summer vacations counting down to the first day of school. They had scoured the mall for mature outfits, classy accessories, and trendy backpacks. Their "adult and sophisticated" personas had been created, refined, and rehearsed. They were ready to sail into the realm of high school hijinks and leave their mark on the world.

I was not prepared at all, but that's no surprise. After all, I thought I had a whole year left to get psyched for high school! Just imagine the shock and horror I felt when I, unable to locate my first period class, was informed that it was over at the high school! It was several long moments before this information was processed by my brain, and then, my brain told me exactly what this new development would entail. Because the high school's class schedule was different from the middle school's schedule, I would have to get to school half an hour earlier than other middle school students to attend my high school class. Being more of an owl than a songbird, this was not an attractive prospect at all, and I began making a mental list of advice so my younger sister could benefit from my experiences when she grew older. Number 1: Beware what you get yourself into.

It wasn't long before the list became longer. Disentangling myself from my bedclothes the next morning, I brushed away the last lingering wisps of dreams and thought, Number 2: Get enough sleep. Ironically, I never heeded this advice myself. Not then, not now. I tried my best to go to bed early on school nights, but daunting stacks of material to read, perplexing equations to solve, and fickle German verbs to conjugate kept me awake through the wee hours almost every night. I would pay for my nocturnal diligence the next day at school, when I would drift to my classes in a sleepy stupor, trying to appear fresh and alert. Believe me when I say, you will learn next to nothing if your forehead is constantly welded to your textbook. In fact, you will be totally lost in school if you are rendezvousing with the Sandman while your teacher lectures in class. At the very least, have the Sandman take notes for you. Make sure he writes the date on top.

I get off track sometimes. Speaking of losing my way, I was completely lost on my first day of high school. I also got lost on the second day. And the third. I would be walking along the hall, thinking I knew precisely where I was. Suddenly, I'd come to an intersection and be faced with three halls that looked exactly the same. With no distinguishing characteristics to help me mark my way, I looked around frantically, hoping I could find my class by pure luck. I picked a hall randomly and began walking. I walked for a while, wondering if I might be going in circles. There was no way to tell. It finally occurred to me that I could find a teacher or other staff member to ask for directions. Unfortunately, I was too late. The bell ding-ding-dinged, and a horde of students piled into the hall. Everyone seemed bigger than I. They were all hurried and preoccupied, so I was afraid to ask where I was. I went along with the flow, and when everyone had gone into their next classes, I found the counselors' office. The lady behind the desk told me how to find my class. It turned out that I had wandered to the other side of the school. I firmly made another mental note. Number 3: If you don't know where you are or what you're doing, just ask for help.

I think that sums up all one needs to know to survive in high school. If you ever have questions, there is always someone who can help. Don't let anything get you down. Join clubs, make new friends, and find new interests--after all, these are your Wonderful High School Years! You'll want something to reminisce about at your tenth year reunion.

As you prepare to take that first step into the world of labyrinth-like hallways, pack-mule loads of books, and killer research papers, let me offer you one more piece of advice.

Have you ever considered home schooling?