So you hate God, right? That's why this site is named "Hell's Home?"
Uhhh...no. It's "HeLL," not "Hell." As in, I'm using my initials as part of my site name. I also thought alliteration was cute four years ago, which is when I first put up a website. And for the record, I don't believe in hell.

What's the point of this site?
Mainly, it's a way for me to keep my HTML skills fresh in my mind. In the past, it was intended to keep my friends and family updated on my classes and what I was doing, so I wouldn't have to keep repeating the same information over and over. Nevertheless, everyone still asks me the same questions, so I can only conclude that no one reads this site. Oh. Yeah. Um, this site is supposed to provide hours of entertainment for both you and your progeny. If you have no progeny, that is not my fault. I do not offer reproductive services.

Why are you so mean?
It's just my way of showing I care.

How do I get to all the different sections of your site?
If you scroll down on the main page, there's a pull-down menu. That's how you can reach most of the sections of my site. Every so often, I'll stick a link to another section in one location only. It pays to explore carefully. You'll also notice that there are no 'Back' or 'Home' buttons. When you visit HeLL's Home, you are in a strictly controlled environment -- a Helen-dictatorship. I do not like bifurcations.

Isn't that kind of annoying?
It's my way of weeding out the dolts who visit this site. I don't think you can appreciate the rest of my site properly if you can't even find the pull-down menu. Sounds harsh, yeah...but you'll notice there's no WELCOME mat on my doorstep.

I bet you just can't figure out how to do frames on a website.
I'd rather have a site that any person, with any ol' operating system and any ol' browser, can visit and not encounter problems. Until there's some sort of unifying standard on the Internet, I'm keeping my page simple.

There's, like, so much text on your site. Why not use more graphics?
Quite a few reasons, actually:

1. Since I'm using a free account on Angelfire, bandwidth is a big issue. Whenever someone decides to look at all the photos in my Pic Index, the site goes down for two hours.
2. Also, I'm a writer. Therefore, I write. Lots of writing equals lots of text. And while some say that a picture is worth a thousand words, that's not always true. When I'm surfing the 'Net and visiting sites, I like concreteness. If a link says "Hullabaloo," I have no idea where it'll take me. To save time, I'll never click on it.
3. Besides, my desktop computer is not well. It is incredibly slow. Since I would like to be able to view my own page while I am working on it, I need a page that does not take long to load.

Who are the weird people that you quote?
Heh. Well. No one is safe from being quoted. I quote friends, classmates, professors, coworkers, strangers...and family. My sister pointed out that she sounds moronic in her quotes. Well, you'll notice that I quote myself as well, and I sound like an imbecile. It's all in the name of humor. In fact, I started my Pic-of-the-Week feature so that visitors could get a look at some of the people I quote.

How do you get these quotes?
I just happen to be in the right place at the right time. Also, for those times when I'm not in the right place, I have friends who submit quotes to me. I encourage submissions most heartily. Basically, whenever I hear something that makes me laugh, I jot it down. I started it back in 7th grade, but back then, I'd put the quote on an index card. Eventually, I ended up with too many cards and had to switch to the Internet.

Wow, you're just like James Madison in his Notes on the Debates of the Federal Convention in 1787!
Not really. People actually like me.

Going back to what you mentioned before...how does one get to be featured as the Pic-of-the-Week?
You send me a photo and a blurb. If I haven't already planned out the next few weeks' pics, you might see yourself right away!

Uh-huh. So, since no one actually asks you these questions, how can they be frequently asked questions?
These are the questions I always ask myself when I'm talking to myself.