Liners IV

These are continued from the third Liners page. Liners are quotes of funny/strange bits of conversation. This means there's some sort of interaction between at least two speakers. Anyway, as I have said about my other quotes, some of these are funny only if you were there. Also, the liners may not seem outwardly amusing. Sometimes, you just have to try and imagine what the speakers could have been discussing.

• "There's the NVIDIA nForce driver. Should I install that?" --Helen L.
• "Mmm...yeah. That sounds about right." --Jim P.
• "Okay. Um...it's all in German. Is it supposed to be in German?" --Helen L.
• (Silence.)
• "Oh well, good thing I know German." --Helen L., 1-16-04
• "I will be able to show everyone that I'm not growing soft in my old age." --Helen L.
• "Heh heh. Aren't you all happy over a boy and a dinosaur bank? Why are you dissing love? I mean, some girls just want a boy, but you have a boy AND a dinosaur bank!" --Jeremiah H., 1-16-04
• "You are way lazy, man. Ready for graduation?" --Helen L.
• "Ewww, look at you! Pffft...what have you become?!" --Brad S.
• "Um...I don't know...what have I become?" --Helen L.
• "A person who likes to know if people are ready for graduations and stuff." --Brad S., 1-17-04
• "So this could be your last chance to have a lot of hair! You should grow it out." --Helen L.
• "I'm trying to." --Jeff H.
• "Uh...are you sure you're trying very hard?" --Helen L.
• "Well, I went 6 months without a haircut, then got it trimmed when I was in Houston. I got it cut a little shorter than I wanted, but it's still longer than I have had it for quite a while. I don't know how much harder I can try." --Jeff H.
• "Hm...I guess it really doesn't grow very quickly, does it?" --Helen L.
• "No, I'm just not any good at growing hair." --Jeff H., 1-21-04
• "I have never heard that." --Jeff H.
• "Well, you probably don't read girls' magazines." --Helen L.
• "Not lately." --Jeff H., 1-21-04
• "It's raining here." --Helen L.
• "Not here. It's cold, though." --Jim P.
• "Oh. Are you cold?" --Helen L.
• "Not right now. I'm whereing a jacket." --Jim P.
• "Oh, whereing. I see." --Helen L.
• "Yup. It's on me, but I don't know where it is." --Jim P., 1-24-04
• "I was just asking Mari who her daddy was." --Helen L.
• "Well, why didn't you just say, 'Mari, who's your daddy?'" --Susan L.
• "Then it would sound like I actually expected her to answer." --Helen L.
• "Why ask it if you don't expect her to answer?" --Susan L.
• "I just think it's funny to ask her things she could never answer." --Helen L.
• "You're twisted." --Susan L.
• "I know. They call me...Twisty." --Helen L., 1-25-04
• "I'm male, last time I checked." --Clarence D.
• "Do you check every day?" --Helen L.
• "I try to." --Clarence D., 1-28-04
• "I can't believe your family has a mattress flipping day." --Helen L.
• "Well, how else are they going to be flipped in a consistent manner?" --Tom P.
• "I don't believe my mattress has been flipped in 8 years." --Helen L.
• "But, Helen! That means it is being worn out in certain areas more than others!" --Tom P., 2-1-04
• "Clarence, you elitist. There's nothing wrong with store-brand soda." --Helen L.
• "Yeah, you're a soda snob." --Linda G., 2-10-04
• "I only control thunder." --Helen L.
• "Thunder?!! Like the dog?!" --Cory S.
• "Watermelon." --Santos G.
• "A watermelon named Thunder?" --Helen L.
• "Yeah." --Santos G.
• "I had a pet watermelon, but it died really young." --Cory S., 2-11-04
• "What happened to the depressed polynomial?" --Helen L.
• "It was factored." --Susan L.
• "Does that mean it took some bun-medicine?" --Helen L.
• "Um...sure. Zoloft should work that into their slogan somehow." --Susan L.
• "Work what in? That you can use it for pre-calculus problems?" --Helen L.
• "Yes." --Susan L., 2-13-04 (My sister and I love that Zoloft bun-thing.)
• "Will caaaall agaaaaaaain." --Clarence D.
• "What?!" --Helen L.
• "Ohhh, chill out. You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me." --Clarence D., 2-24-04
• "Actually, you guys don't strike me as being very nerdy." --Helen L.
• "We are too nerdy!" --Tom P.
• "No, you guys are not." --Helen L.
• "How can we not be? I mean, my brother loves computer science and I like math, and we both play a lot of video games." --Tom P.
• "Eh...there's the social awkwardness factor." --Helen L.
• "My brother and I are very socially awkward, thank you very much." --Tom P., 2-25-04
• "We don't need to be proud. Pride is for...other people. Nerds need super-huge IQ's and psionic powers. Yeah...psionic powers..." --Tom P.
• "And teleportation technology would be great." --Helen L.
• "That's what the super-huge IQ's are for. We already have some basic teleportation technology." --Tom P.
• "I would like teleportation technology that takes a chunk out of people whenever they use it." --Helen L.
• "...why?" --Tom P.
• "All great technology must have a fatal flaw." --Helen L., 2-25-04 (or Why Helen Should Not Be the One to Invent Teleportation)
• "I am a bit morbid when I do the hospice stuff." --Clint S.
• "How so?" --Helen L.
• "I dunno...it is just like something you don't care about anymore. Like--death isn't terribly scary to me; I kinda think it is funny. I shouldn't say that. I dunno...let's see. Death--I have gotten used to it..." --Clint S.
• "That's so awesome!!!" --Helen L.
• "But I haven't gotten used to losing people that are really neat." --Clint S., 2-27-04
• "I think you should keep a quote tablet handy at all times." --Tom P.
• "I actually had one that I wore around my neck, and I keep notebooks everywhere for ideas. Like, right next to my bed, in the glove compartment of my car, and even in the bathroom." --Helen L.
• "Bathroom...?" --Tom P.
• "You don't ever get ideas in the bathroom?" --Helen L.
• "Well, I don't keep a notebook there." --Tom P.
• "Guys probably spend less time in the bathroom. I am thoughtful when I'm in the bathroom." --Helen L., 3-4-04
• "I have something neat that I found this week!" --Helen L.
• "What!" --Tom P.
• "I am letting it dry out so I can wear it on a chain around my neck." --Helen L.
• "What is this thing!?" --Tom P.
• "It is a mutant carrot stick!" --Helen L.
• "How mutant is it, Helen!?" --Tom P.
• "It's shaped like a Y, Tom!" --Helen L., 3-4-04
• "Do you suppose it's dangerous?" --Helen L.
• "I really don't know without analyzing its mutation. You should send it to a DNA lab or something." --Tom P.
• "But that's so much less cool than wearing it around my neck..." --Helen L.
• "Yes, true, especially if it does awaken and becomes your personal slave." --Tom, 3-4-04
• "I hope they make a sequel to that Jesus movie." --Cory S.
• "Why?" --Helen L.
• "Um...I guess no reason really...it just sounded funny." --Cory S.
• "It might've sounded funnier if I knew anything about Jesus. Does he die in it or something?" --Helen L.
• "No, he and Buddha get a condo with a great view of Central Park in the end." --Cory S.
• "That's terrible. Does he get eaten?" --Helen L.
• "Ganesh and Krishna do eat him, but he is spat out and reincarnated as the Dalai Lama." --Cory S., 3-8-04
• "What if I drop dead right now? Then what would you do?" --Clarence D.
• "Take your money." --Linda G., 3-9-04
• "My mutant carrot is coming along nicely!" --Helen L.
• "I guess it's not rotting or turning psychotic." --Tom P.
• "Not at all. It's dried up, and I will be putting it on a chain to wear it." --Helen L.
• "Oh, so it's like some kind of punk mutant carrot?" --Tom P., 3-9-04
• "This one smells like a candle!" --Helen L.
• "Wow, that's true! I haven't seen one of these in a long time!" --Susan L., 3-13-04 (while shopping for scented candles)
• "I haven't seen him in ages. But he kinda struck me as a sketchy person on occasion." --Helen L.
• "Yeah. He's not like Us!!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Oooh, capitalized 'us.'" --Helen L.
• "Yes, I was referring to the magazine Us. He isn't like it. He doesn't have pages...or a Table of Contents...." --Jeremiah H.
• "You know, that magazine was always so ambiguous to me. I used to think it was 'US', like 'United States.'" --Helen L.
• "Yeah, it wasn't very clear. But I think it's 'Us' as in you and me." --Jeremiah H.
• "Whichever it is, he's not very magazine-like at all." --Helen L.
• "Once I tried to roll him up to swat a fly, and he punched me." --Jeremiah H., 3-16-04
• "Hey, we have a boogie board." --Clint S.
• "Yeah, but we have no TV." --Rachel R.
• "Whoaaaa...! We have a boogie board!" --Cory S., 3-20-04
• "Blood tastes like iron?" --Cory S.
• "Yeah!" --Rachel R.
• "It's sweet! I love the taste of blood." --Cory S., 3-20-04
• "It flushed for me, but I'm not going to flush your pee." --Rachel R.
• "You don't want to flush my pee? Clint! Come flush my pee!" --Cory S., 3-20-04
• "Okay, which box of Kleenex do you want?" --Helen's mom
• "Look, Mommy's trying to give me some kiddie Kleenex box. Or some old-lady Kleenex box. Why can't you buy some teenager Kleenex boxes?!" --Helen L.
• "Kids are the only ones who have to take Kleenex to school." --Helen's mom
• "Teenagers sneeze, too!" --Susan L., 4-3-04
• "It's interesting how everyone confuses all the bookstores, too. To them, Borders and B&N are synonymous, and the mall bookstores are synonymous with each other." --Helen L.
• "Yeah totally...so irritating. I never go to McDonald's and think I'm at Burger King!!!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Yeah, very odd." --Helen L.
• "I think people are just totally retarded." --Jeremiah H.
• "Maybe it's because so many bookstore names start with the letter B?" --Helen L.
• "No, I'm going to go with "retarded." --Jeremiah H.
• "Retarded works for me!" --Helen L., 4-4-04
• "Maybe it's in with the craft-y products." --woman to her husband
• "Crafty products? You mean, like, smart products?" --the husband, 4-9-04
• "Hey...I wonder if I have tonsils?!" --Helen L.
• "Open your mouth and look down your throat!" --Clarence D., 4-16-04
• "Do you think I am a modestly hot girl?" --Helen L.
• "At least." --Jim P.
• "Do I look as good as Alternate-Homsar?" --Helen L.
• "Much better." --Jim P.
• "Maybe because I wasn't raised by a cup of coffee." --Helen L., 4-17-04
• "You should go out and do something, like listen to a fountain maybe, instead of sitting in front of a computer. Although that is what I did for my 18th birthday." --Helen L.
• "Well, see, we have a tradition where people who have a birthday get thrown into a fountain, so I don't want people to think I'm asking for it." --Tom P.
• "Oh dear...does anyone there know today's your birthday?" --Helen L.
• "It's up on the birthday board in our cafeteria, but I don't think anyone I know is the type that would throw me into it..." --Tom P.
• "Being thrown into a fountain could be fun if there's money at the bottom. It's refreshing AND lucrative birthday fun!" --Helen L., 4-22-04
• "This past weekend must've been Dumb, Rude Customer Weekend. My patience was truly tested." --Helen L.
• "Isn't that every weekend?" --Jeff H., 4-22-04
• "Well, is this the kind of thing where I should stop talking to you so you can get work done?" --Tom P.
• "Eh, I'm simultaneously getting inducted into the Council of Hoov, so I suppose you are the smaller distractor at the moment." --Helen L.
• "Council of Hoov?" --Tom P.
• "A band of evil....evilllllll." --Helen L.
• "Is this Aditi's idea?" --Tom P.
• "No, it is the Hoov's idea. I belong to other groups of evil besides Aditi." --Helen L.
• "Oh, I see... So Aditi has made her group of evil?" --Tom P.
• "If she has, she didn't tell me about it. Maybe I have successfully foiled her into thinking I am good." --Helen L.
• "But you just said you belong to other groups besides Aditi, denoting that you belong to that group. I must admit confustion." --Tom P.
• "I was considering Aditi to be a group in and of herself." --Helen L.
• "Oh, I see." --Tom P., 4-23-04
• "You are now a card-carrying member of my Message Bored. You will be officially introduced to the other council members soon. The only ones at the Bored are the people in my Council, so you are vaguely familiar with them from my page." --Jeremiah H.
• "Do I get to carry a real card? Because that would be neat. People make fun of me for carrying pictures of food around in my wallet." --Helen L., 4-23-04
• "You're 21, right?" --Jeremiah H.
• "Yes, that number I keep thinking is prime but isn't..." --Helen L.
• "3 x 7!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Yeah...well...someday I'll be prime again! You just wait and see!" --Helen L.
• "In two years!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Well, a year and 3 months." --Helen L.
• "Jeez, we have to age again in three months, don't we?" --Jeremiah H.
• "Yeah, it's terrible. I was just getting used to the non-aging." --Helen L.
• "And 22 is soooo meaningless." --Jeremiah H., 4-23-04
• "That looks good." --Susan L.
• "The pizza?" --Helen L.
• "Yes..." --Susan L.
• "Didn't you have it for dinner?" --Helen L.
• "I might've. It was hours ago." --Susan L., 4-23-04
• "My leg itches really bad...oh, that's why." --Rachel R.
• "Oh my God." --Helen L.
• "That's one determined mosquito, to bite you that many times." --Clarence D.
• "No it's not, I did it last night." --Clint S., 4-29-04 (Clint is Rachel's boyfriend)
• "Okay, I give up! You guys win. I'm going home." --Dr. Kasschau
• "Yes! We win!" --Clarence D., 4-29-04 (because we were still in our office at 7 pm)
• "I get very tired of humans sometimes." --Helen L.
• "Yeah, join the club. Humans can be really, really dumb." --Tom P.
• "I think I will have to quit my job due to graduate school, so I get to transfer my hate from inconsiderate, dumb customers to immature, irresponsible undergrads." --Helen L.
• "Well, at least undergrads don't need help going to the bathroom." --Tom P.
• "You know, I wouldn't be so sure about that." --Helen L., 5-1-04
• "I'm off to dinner; I hope you don't have to run a daycare center at the bookstore." --Tom P.
• "Enjoy your dinner!" --Helen L.
• "Oh, I will... I WILL!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" --Tom P.
• "Is that why you're going so early?" --Helen L., 5-1-04
• "Clarence, your shirt reminds me of chemical bonds and stuff." --Helen L.
• "Good." --Clarence D., 5-13-04
• "'I remember Nov. 3, 2000. It was the night I voted for the first time. (Ugh, Bush...but better than Gore.) Right before I went, I had talked on the phone with Jim. That was when I found out they went to see the school play together. I was upset because Jim had been saying for several weeks that he was too busy to see me. I asked him if he liked me, and he said no. (Great feeling there.) I asked if he liked her, and he said yes. I asked if she liked him, and he said he didn't know. I asked if they were going out, and he said he didn't know (but it sounded like he meant yes). So I thought she had pretty much 'won.' I had to keep myself from crying the whole 2 hours I was standing in line at the community center, waiting to vote. Then, I had to watch TV with Susan like nothing was wrong. It wasn't until I got to bed that I cried my heart out. I was so sure Jim liked me. He had really acted like it throughout my senior year. So I was miserable for about 2 weeks. When will I learn to quit asking him stuff?'" --Helen L. (transcribing an old diary entry)
• "YOU VOTED FOR BUSH!!??!!!?!!" --Jim P., 5-15-04
• "What are these? 'Funktivity?'" --Helen L.
• "'Funktivity...?'" --Ryan W.
• "It says, 'Superstylin' Funktivity Book.'" --Helen L.
• "Well, I guess if you're trying to get going on your 'funktivity,' these are the things to get." --Ryan W.
• "What are the Bratz? A TV cartoon? I'm out of the loop. I'm not a preteen anymore." --Helen L.
• "And I'm not a girl." --Ryan W.
• "Yes, that would certainly be a barrier." --Helen L., 5-17-04
• "GRAMMAR AND SPELLING GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEE????!!!" --Helen L.
• "Some people know not of this god." --Stephanie L.
• "Heathens." --Helen L, 6-5-04
• "Getting e-mail just isn't the same as getting a letter in the mail." --Helen L.
• "That's true; everyone likes getting mail." --Jeff H.
• "And you like getting hate mail, apparently." --Helen L.
• "I don't know. I never get any, but I think it would be cool." --Jeff H.
• "It seems like it would be kind of depressing." --Helen L.
• "If that was all you got, it might be. The occasional piece of hate mail would be fun." --Jeff H.
• "You're kind of weird." --Helen L., 6-7-04
• "I can send you some hate mail, but I think I'd be concerned about bringing the law down on me." --Helen L.
• "As long as you don't threaten physical harm, it's okay." --Jeff H.
• "I would think that threats of physical harm would be required in hate mail, though." --Helen L.
• "Not necessarily, you just have to call the person some mean names and say why you hate them. There is a proper etiquette to writing hate mail." --Jeff H.
• "I see you have some personal experience with this already." --Helen L.
• "Shhh, don't tell anyone. I prefer to remain anonymous." --Jeff H.
• "I guess I can't remain anonymous, since I just offered to write you some." --Helen L., 6-7-04
• "You still need to wake up earlier." --Helen's mom
• "I don't like being awake when there's light outside." --Helen L.
• "That's ridiculous. You're not a bat." --Helen's mom
• "How do you know I'm not a bat?" --Helen L., 6-9-04
• "Just wanted to let you know that your first hate mail will be with you in 3 to 5 days. They should arrive in four installments of every two weeks for eight weeks. Thank you for using Helen's Hate Mail Express. Bringing dislike and discord to customers since 2004." --Helen L.
• "Cool. I can't wait." --Jeff H.
• "Someone I know got jealous and wanted hate mail, too." --Helen L.
• "Have I started a trend?" --Jeff H.
• "Yeah, I guess so. Who would've thought that lurking inside people was the deep, dark desire to receive hate mail?" --Helen L.
• "I thought it was just me." --Jeff H., 6-9-04
• "Lee interviewed a Jeff today. I thought that was funny." --Helen L.
• "Another one? Is there a minimum requirement of Jeffs for the store?" --Jeff H., 6-9-04 (And now my store is the proud owner of Jeff #4)
• "Do my nails look healthy?" --Helen L.
• "Yes." --Jim P.
• "Excellent. All part of my master plan." --Helen L., 6-11-04
• "It'll be so awesome if you get to come back! I'm only sad that I'll probably have to quit in a few months." --Helen L.
• "Noooooooo! You have to delay grad school if I return." --Jeremiah H.
• "Heh...I wonder if I may have to, if I don't finish up that thesis, since I won't have a bachelor's degree on record. Can I borrow yours?" --Helen L.
• "Yes!" --Jeremiah H.
• "I want to stay; I truly do. I don't know if I'll have the time, though, and my parents are really pressuring me to quit, especially now." --Helen L.
• "Yeah, yeah.... I don't want to be alone with "new people," though! SOMEONE has to come back!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Well, hopefully Steve will come back after his tour...I know he wants to." --Helen L.
• "I wish Hardcore didn't move..." --Jeremiah H.
• "Maybe if you also lend him your bachelor's, he can come back!" --Helen L.
• "Weeee! Xeroxes for EVERYONE!!!!" --Jeremiah H., 6-29-04
• "I just played M.A.S.H." --Helen L.
• "Played?" --Jim P.
• "I'm going to marry you; we will have 2 kids and drive a green go-cart. We live in a mansion in Saudi Arabia, and I am an artist." --Helen L.
• "Wow. Green go-cart." --Jim P., 7-4-04
• (Helen does a plié.)
• "Why are you dancing like that cowboy guy?" --Susan L.
• "I'm just doing a plié. Sheesh. Can't people do pliés anymore?" --Helen L.
• "Not in the bookstore." --Susan L., 7-11-04
• "Monkeys!! MONKEYS!!!" --Helen L.
• "Butterflies!! PENGUINS!!!" --Susan L., 7-18-04 (mocking me for some reason)
• "A power kick to the head! Helen and Tikku do Internet battle!" --Helen L.
• "Ahh! No power kicks! I'm allergic!" --Tikku S.
• "Oh, sorry...I didn't realize." --Helen L.
• "It's okay. Some people don't like nuts in their candy; I don't like power kicks in my head. It's just one of those things." --Tikku S.
• "I understand. It's like how I don't like other people's teeth in my food." --Helen L.
• "Well, that's just weird...your not liking it, I mean." --Tikku S.
• "You like other people eating your food?" --Helen L.
• "No, but I like other people's teeth. I assume it's JUST their teeth. I mean, if it's come off of their mouth, then they have no use for it, so I stick it in as garnish!" --Tikku S., 7-26-04
• "AAAAGGGHH!" --Susan L.
• (Susan runs off, and there is a big pause.)
• "Everything is fine in Susan-Land!" --Susan L.
• "Uhhh...is that your 11 o'clock news report?" --Helen L.
• (No answer.)
• "'Cause it's 26 minutes late." --Helen L., 8-7-04
• "Monkey!" --Helen L.
• "You're one!" --Cyre K.
• "Okay. I vote you one, too!" --Helen L.
• "I accept!!!" --Cyre K., 8-21-04
• "My purse! Are you lose your mind?" --Helen's mom
• "Are I lose my mind?" --Helen L.
• "Yes, she are lose her mind." --Susan L., 8-27-04
• "When I was single, I would take a head of lettuce and some bell peppers and separate it into four bags. And that's what I would eat for the week." --Helen's dad
• "So this was a really long time ago, when a week only had four days." --Helen L., 9-4-04
• "I have my sister working on something for me." --Helen L.
• "That's nice of her." --Tom P.
• "She is a nice one. Someday (next year, perhaps) she and I will get an apartment together." --Helen L.
• "Wow." --Tom P.
• "And she will cook for me, while I drive her everywhere." --Helen L.
• "Ohh, I wish I was your sister. I hate driving!" --Tom P., 9-11-04
• "Call her!" -- Helen L.
• "Wait. What's her number?" --Cyre K.
• "Umm...I don't know, but it's on my cell phone!" --Helen L.
• "Oh...I have her number on my fridge...which isn't quite the same as having it on my phone." --Cyre K., 9-18-04
• "I'm waiting for you to notice that my socks jingle!" --Cyre K.
• "Oh! Those are your socks?" --Helen L.
• "Yes. What'd you think, that I have some kind of infection? A jingling infection?" --Cyre K., 9-18-04
• "You're going to move closer to school and live in a condom?" --Helen L.
• "What? Oh no. A condo." Cyre K.
• "Oh, I thought you said 'condom.'" --Helen L.
• "You know, it's been a long time since I was able to fit inside a condom." --Cyre K., 10-2-04
• "Can I call you sometime?" --Helen L.
• "Okay." --Jim P.
• "Has your number changed?" --Helen L.
• "Um, maybe. I can't remember my number here." --Jim P.
• "How do you ever call your room? Does anyone call your room?" --Helen L.
• "Why would I want to call my room?" --Jim P.
• "To talk to your roommates? I call my room, and I'm the only person who lives there." --Helen L., 10-12-04
• "Care Bear Stare!" --Helen L.
• "Er?" --Susan L.
• "Eh?" --Helen L.
• "Em?" --Susan L.
• "Geh?" --Helen L.
• "Gem?" --Susan L.
• "A morpheme!" --Helen L.
• "I am so confused." --Susan L., 10-26-04
• "I'm having trouble with my eyes today. I feel like I have three eyes!" --Dr. Naus
• "Don't you hate it when that happens?" --Russ J., 11-2-04
• "I'm not happy right now." --Jim P.
• "Why not?" --Helen L.
• "Nothing seems to be going my way." --Jim P.
• "Like what?" --Helen L.
• "The World Series, the election, Warcraft, Natural Selection, Alpha Centauri..." --Jim P.
• "Compared to most people, you have some limited problems." --Helen L., 11-3-04
• "Man, I made some crack about Lee not having any personal effects in the back room, except like a picture of his baby and that song he wrote in that composition book. It's more of a ditty than a song." --Cyre K.
• "I didn't realize Lee wrote a song." --Helen L.
• "Lee wrote a song about how he saved the store, or something." --Cyre K.
• "Are you serious?" --Helen L.
• "Well, it's like 5 lines long, about a guy named Lee who took over with a crew of three." --Cyre K.
• "Because I would pay money to see that performed. By Lee." --Helen L.
• "IN COSTUME." --Cyre K., 11-4-04
• "I don't worry about Colin's takeover as much as I do Charles' because he seems so out of touch with reality...in a weird DSM way." --Cyre K.
• "Ooooh...in a DSM-IV...revised way?" --Helen L.
• "YES!" --Cyre K., 11-4-04
• "Are we still going to get the new manager on the 15th?" --Helen L.
• "I hope so. Guys are pulling for a hot chick; I'm just hoping for somebody with legible writing..." --Cyre K.
• "That would be very helpful, yes." --Helen L.
• "Or somebody organized..." --Cyre K.
• "Or somebody whose pants stay on right." --Helen L., 11-9-04
• "I'm so jealous of Sunglass Hut and their Nissa; I even gave her a Friends and Family coupon." --Cyre K.
• "I was going to randomly walk around Borders and hand them out, but now I think I'll mail them to old friends. It'll be like a surprise...except really a surprise." --Helen L., 11-9-04 (makes you wonder what my regular definition of "surprise" is, doesn't it?)
• "How do I get to where you live? " --Cyre K.
• "Would that be the scary place where I live, or the psychology building? It's kind of debateable which one I really live in." --Helen L.
• "Hmmm...touche." --Cyre K.
• "Debatable? Debatabooglie?" --Helen L.
• "Debatable." --Cyre K.
• "Dabootabada?" --Helen L., 11-9-04
• "Cookies!!! I mean, I bought 6 wintermint cookies from Great American Cookie Co. It's...amazing... It's a chocolate cookie with mint M&M's in it." --Cyre K.
• "Oooh!! Darn you, cookie pusher! You're going to get me addicted!" --Helen L., 11-9-04
• "Cyre, I need a fake name!" --Helen L.
• "...Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. I mean, it's a real name. She was a nun who dressed as a boy to go to school and then became a nun because convent life gave her more time to read." --Cyre K.
• "Oooh...see, that's not going to work. I have to be able to say it, since I will be going by this name for the next two days." --Helen L.
• "Are you in the Witness Protection Program again?" --Cyre K., 11-9-04
• (Clarence starts banging his head against the elevator wall)
• "Clarence! Stop banging your poor head!" --Helen L.
• "Hee! Hee hee ha ha! Too late! I have issues." --Clarence D., 11-11-04
• "So, how's your marriage?" --Helen L.
• "Don't talk about that subject now! We're eating. You continue talking to yourself." --Helen's dad
• "I was just wondering because I was thinking about getting married." --Helen L.
• "What?!" --Susan L.
• "Everything is different, depending on the person." --Helen's dad
• "*cough cough* I'm dying!!" --Susan L.
• "So you don't have a recommendation?" --Helen L.
• "No, not really." --Helen's dad
• "Darn, I didn't upstage her!" --Susan L., 11-13-04
• "I'm glad you're a guy." --Helen L.
• "So am I." --Jim P.
• "I love guys." --Helen L.
• "I'm glad you are a girl." --Jim P.
• "Everything worked out really well!" --Helen L., 12-5-04
• "So you don't like jewelry, or you don't like wearing it?" --Helen L.
• "I don't actually know." --Gabriel M.
• "Hmm...oh well, that's okay." --Helen L.
• "All I know is that I lick and hump inert objects." --Gabriel M., 12-6-04
• "Hug for moi?" --Gabriel M.
• "Sure, why not. You are helping me procrastinate." --Helen L.
• "You helped me procrastinate in the past, and you didn't even know about it. I used you without your consent!" --Gabriel M.
• "Let's be upfront about our using of each other from now on." --Helen L., 12-6-04
• "Big Bro!" --Helen L.
• "Yo!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Ho ho!" --Helen L.
• "Ho!" --Jeremiah H.
• "No!" --Helen L.
• "GO!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Collect $200!" --Helen L.
• "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Uno!" --Helen L., 12-9-04 (I really wanted to say "Bingo" as well, but we didn't get to continue.)
• "This is a flashlight freebie that we were giving out for the eleventh book, but it's our last one, so you can have it." --Helen L.
• "No! We need that for the next blackout!" --Cyre K.
• "It's okay, Cyre. We know you're one of those fish that glow in the dark." --Helen L.
• "No one's ever made a comment about my bioluminescence before." --Cyre K., 12-11-04
• (Colin is stressing out as usual.)
• "Colin, find a happy place." --Cyre K.
• "I went to the happy place, but it was closed." --Colin G., 12-11-04
• "Why is this so hard??!" --Jennifer S.
• "Ugh...it won't go in!" --Helen L.
• "This reminds me of my first time..." --Gabriel M., 12-14-04 (the three of us trying to remount a roll of wrapping paper on its dispenser)
• "So what's goin' down Thursday, thug? I have to hang out with my piano teacher, who's in town, but if you know any cute guys, she's very willing to meet them." --Tikku S.
• "That's the strangest combination of words I've ever heard." --Helen L., 12-22-04
• "So, sometime after Monday night?" --Helen L.
• "Yeah...Monday...that sounds like a day that exists." --Jim P., 12-28-04