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An Interview With Eva O.- A Voice of the Angels of Light…
-by- Azra Medea- A Daughter of Darkness
Azra -
As you know there has been some confusion over your recent conversion to Christianity. It is my opinion, from speaking with you, that this concern is largely born of a lack of understanding. We tend to define Christianity by the terms that organized religion has given us. I know that is not your approach. Obviously not, because when you met me you didn't brandish a cross or shout REPENT! In fact you did not seem put off by the fact that my ideas of spirituality are very different from your own. I could tell that I was not dealing with an ordinary Christian. You did not react in the manner that I and others like myself have grown accustomed to. In your own words, can you define for us what your kind of Christianity is, and how it differs from organized religion.
Eva O.-
A small correction, you are dealing with an ordinary Christian. A Christian is one who bases their life on the ideas that Jesus Christ the son of God has given us to live by.
Azra -
Ok. Then I would have to say that you are perhaps more of a 'real' Christian. Those whom I have encountered in the past have often tried to use their so-called 'righteousness' unto their own purposes, usually material gain of some sort. It is sad that these shallow ones are apparently not the minority. I see you as unique because you are 'real' about what you are trying to say. It's kind of beautiful really.
Eva O.-
A Christian is not perfect, they are human, and a human cannot be perfect. A Christian should be understanding and give love to all, not just their friends. I am no better than you. I can do nothing to make myself better than you. Being the judge of another person can be a very dangerous thing to do. For how could he forgive if you cannot. Your judgement will only condemn you. I must get the plank out of my eyes before I can help my brother.
Alot of Christians "and non Christians" don't understand the dark world, the Gothic, the witches or Satanists. I happened to be involved in this world at one time and there is nothing really that can shock me. I have
been exposed to the extreme and that wasn't enough for me then. But now I serve the Lord and I see clearly that we are only in this flesh for a short time and the pleasures we encounter in this world are so small and only momentarily fulfilling. Soon it is over and that void is there again. I am just a visitor on the planet. He "Jesus Christ" will come for me maybe even before I die at the rate the world is fulfilling prophecy. The other day I read an article of this satanic band and they were saying how spiritual they were. But I was confused cause they seem into only pleasing the flesh and to be spiritual is to die to the flesh and have a relationship with God.
There is no friendship between the flesh and the spirit. To feed one is to take away from another. Which I find so hard to do. It is like a daily task. And it is only through Gods grace and the Holy spirit that resides in me that I have the strength to do this. To have a relationship with God you have to accept Jesus for he is the bridge between you and God. He is always standing up for me when the enemy points to my errors. He has paid in full for my life. It is just up to me to accept him and allow him to live through me. And let me tell you it is awesome to have God use me and guide me to see his miracles…Awesome!
I'd rather have the Creator use me than this world or the people in it. He knows what is best for me he has made me and saved me. Praise Jesus!
Azra -
One cannot fail to notice all of the references in your music to Angels. With all due respect to both Christians and Satanists alike, I personally do not believe in the Judeo/Christian connotation of God or Satan per se, not in that exacted context; however I have studied many different belief systems from various cultures around the world. In certain Magical Orders they speak of an HGA, or Holy Guardian Angel. In the Teutonic or Gothic schools of thought this is known as the Fylgja. It is the Higher Self. You speak of an Angel in your heart...That reference directly relates to what some call the Christ consciousness, or the HGA in Tiphareth on the Tree of Life in some Kabbalistic schools of thought. I find it interesting that you have made this reference. Could it be that for you, perhaps this is what Christ personifies, what we call our Higher Self? Would you tell us more about your perceptions of Angels, and the like? Any thoughts on the concept of the HGA?
Eva O.-
My perception of angels is that they are spiritual beings created by God. They do work for God with out any questions asked. They bring Gods messages, they protect people, they encourage us in doing what is right, give guidance, bring punishment, patrol the earth, and fight the forces of evil. There are bad ones, which you could call demons, Satan was the most beautiful and the closest angel to God. He became full of pride and was thrown out and he
convinced 1/3 of the angels to go with him. He wanted to be God. Because of this he has less power and less authority. He is defeated through the blood of Christ. We all have good and bad angels constantly fighting for us. My CD is about this battle and how I came to see the light of the Lord Jesus. Angels are never to be glorified. Eventually their role will be to continuously praise God. Days before I got saved there was continuous urging and words and visions I experienced that lead me to see what life I was
missing out on. The angels definitely were responsible for leading me to the Lord and then I felt the Holy Spirit enter my heart and I was saved by Jesus literally. Now I didn't know that it was Gods spirit entering me so I called it an angel in my heart. I've learned allot about God since then. I try to study his word as much as possible and that is a miracle in itself because I hate to read.
Azra -
There is one thing that I am very curious about. What prompted the writing of the song, "Angel of Death"? I really like this song in spite of my much needed clarification. Firstly, are you at all familiar with the works of Leilah Wendell? She wrote "Our Name is Melancholy." It's a book about Azrael, the Angel of Death. The way she tells it, death isn't something to fear or disdain. Secondly, the Christian belief in heaven, usually causes a kind of euphoria regarding death, but your song depicts the opposite towards the end of life. It seems to indicate a will to shun the very force that would give you that liberation. Is it merely the imagery you are referring to, the darkness, or is it death itself that you wish to abolish from your life?
Eva O.-
Well I wrote this song in the Super Heroines and it was a time when I was obsessed with death, and had made an image for myself of death so I could romanticize with it more. I loved evil and wished a brutal death on all humans. I hated this world and all that lived in it, unless you were on my
side with this view. Death was a very important role in my life. I fondled it in my sleep, the little that it would allow me to have. Death was my best friend and then I started a relationship with Richard Ramirez the Night
Stalker and I dubbed him Mr. Death because he had murdered so many in such a harsh way. He was my love. Death. Then I got saved and I felt that this song would be the best to renounce Death, the idol I had made.
Azra -
Damn! I can hardly picture you that way after our meeting. For me the darkness, and even death have never been the horrors that you describe! I can see why you had to get out of it, because for you the darkness held no beauty like it does for us. I understand it can be like that for some, though not for others. It must have been a horrible existence that you endured! I am glad that you are free of it.
Eva O.-
When you say that Death and darkness is beautiful to you and wasn't to me you are so dead wrong! I saw it as very beautiful! It was something I found very hard to part from! For instance your death, slowly and torturous would have been the ultimate beauty to me in those days.
Azra -
Interesting…please go on…
Eva O.-
And if you cannot understand this, that people can find beauty in any perverse demented way or thing, your mind is not as open as I thought.
Azra -
Oh no, I am well aware of what it is to some, and the difference in what it is for me. I can appreciate these differences, and I can learn from them, like others learn from pain. You equated death and darkness to murder and pain. Many people do this actually, however for me it is something quite different.
Eva O.-
I felt darkness and Death was beauty. I loved murder and this world was ridiculous, for people were too simple minded and weak like prey for the kill. I was no fence walker ... It isn't good for anyone and I don't want to end this interview with this NEW AGE attitude. I do not believe that Jesus is just for me he is for you too, and one day you will see what I am saying to be true. Please mark my words.
Azra -
I respect your beliefs as your own, and I understand why you say what you do to me. I cannot agree, because my understanding of things is not the same as yours, however I do respect your right to be who and what you are. I could tolerate no less. I am surprised to learn of your past love affair with murder, and slow torture of individuals, simply because you are so very changed, from what I have seen. Had you not told me this I would not have suspected it. You seem very kind, (not new-age bright -light) but, sensitive to the pain of others in earnest, as many of your faith do profess to be. What ever your reasons I know that what you are saying comes from your truth, your heart.
So your darkness was beautiful for you, and hard to leave. It is better that you did, my friend. My understanding of darkness is a different one. I sometimes refer to it as a darker light.
Eva O.-
Yes I am understanding to your beliefs, but I do not think they are right. I believe totally, you are either for him or against him. That is what Jesus says and that is who I believe, trust and follow. Darkness is to be totally void of God and nobody will experience this until the second death, eternity without God. It isn't as pretty as you wish it to be.
Azra -
My concept of God is different from what you believe in. It would take longer to explain than this interview would allow. Still as aforesaid, I think what you are doing is fascinating, original, and I love your work as an artist. I can only hope that through communications like these and shared understandings we can put an end to the hatred and intolerance that have plagued all of us for so very long. The burning times may be over, but it still goes
on, in it's own way.
How do you feel about your earlier work, which was, more or less the antithesis of who you are now? Is your past what led you inevitably to your current ideology, and conclusions about reality? In my more or less philosophic, dark pagan background, we don't have a 'God vs. The Devil thing' going on like in some of the Eastern cultures, and in the Bible. What happened in your life to bring you to a point where, to escape one mode of being, 'anti-Christian', you became it's opposite polarization, in effect, a true Christian? How has this helped you in your work as a musician?
Eva O.-
It's a funny thing but I was minding my own business writing a CD about the battle between the demons and angels and BAM… when God wants you it is clear, and if you chose to ignore his call then it is your loss because you may never get another chance.
Azra -
What sort of reactions do you usually get from fans of the 'old Eva'. Are they usually willing to accept and understand the changes in you and your life's work, as willing as you obviously are to accept them unconditionally?
Eva O.-
For the most part they are being very accepting but some have been rude and even aggressively mean. You know I don't care either way I always have been honest about my music and it always tends to tell what is in my heart and now it happens to be Jesus. Even if it ruins my following and kills my future it will be worth it because I don't do this to be a people- pleaser I am a artist and I create art with meaning and I am not concerned what people think about me.
Azra -
Your dedication to your cause is admirable, and as an artist, I can deeply appreciate the power behind those words. I can see that you are a visionary, a very powerful person, obviously. One would have to be to take the stand that you have taken in this day and time. What do you hope to accomplish from this missionary standpoint, the message in your words and music? What's in the future for Eva O.?
Eva O.-
Oh boy, I plan on being the next Billy Graham! Just joking :) I wish to let the gothic people and others know that there is hope with God. I pray that God will use me to reveal the truth about him, and to show how the lies that the world feeds us are grand. If they could only stop looking to people for answers, instead of looking to the creator.
Azra -
There is a song that I heard at your show, that I had never heard before. It was a very beautiful piece that said, "Are you ready to die..." Can you tell us something about that song, and when it will be available on CD?
Eva O.-
That song is a song from this big project I am working on called damnation/salvation are you ready to die. I plan to blow peoples minds with this one. It is a performance piece. There will be nothing typical about it. I don't know who will be putting it out yet. I kind of am shopping around.
Azra -
This next question I have to ask, because of all the chaos we seem to inspire in public by our appearance, as any one from the gothic or counter-culture around here could certainly attest to. Well… it is Jacksonville, and with all due respect that is how those in the 'bible belt' treat us most of the time. I have met you, and you look like 'one of us.' How do you reconcile your individuality to your faith, which generally demands conformity?
Eva O.-
There is nowhere in the bible that it says I can't look the way I do. God saves us where we are and he doesn't look at our clothes, he is not a shallow God you know, it is where your Heart is and what your motives are behind what you are wearing. I can tell that you have ran into allot of mixed up people who have not shared Gods will with you, but instead they forced their personal will upon you. They were talking with their flesh not with his spirit. This is awful and I pray that you will understand that people are people Christian or non Christians, and they can be pretty negative.God's love is perfect, he looks at our hearts. That is something we can't hide with clothing or make up.
Azra -
You said it! We do run into so-called 'Christians' all the time who attempt to force their own personal will or beliefs upon us, but of course it doesn't work. Still the experience can be pretty awful and tedious because you know where they are going before they ever get there. I wish that more of them had your understanding. I think then we'd all have a few less head aches and we'd all be a little more tolerant of each other.
Eva O.-
I hope my honesty isn't too much for you. I will understand if you don't want to put this reply on your page or print it.
Azra -
Are you kidding, it's great! Your honesty is what I wanted, to give you the opportunity to voice yourself. So many people have come up to me asking, 'Is she really a Christian?'; or 'How the hell can she be a Christian and look like one of us…etc.?' That is why I asked you such questions. To give you a chance to tell interested readers of your beliefs in your own way, beyond any preconceived notions of the path that you have chosen. I hope that this interview has done that at best, and perhaps also helped to clear up any misunderstandings.
Is there anything else that you would like to add, any stone that I have left unturned? Can you tell us how we can get Eva O. stuff, T-shirts, CD's, ect...
Eva O.-
I have to say it was the most intense interview I have ever done and I am so grateful to have done it. Thank you for your interest!
Go to my web page. There is more information there. It is not done yet because I have left for the road, but soon it will be.
lots of love from above,
Eva O.-
