"All my pajamas are x-rated!" -me to jamie
"Sorry for rubbing my genitalia all over you..." -ryan j.

i still dunno what to get cory for christmas...

i'm feelin icky today, but the week has still been good. the rain came after fourth period while it was still hot. i saw the way it came at me sideways and i thought to myself, "This is a Texas winter," and smiled.

chris called the other day. i have no sympathy for him. sometimes i wish i could scream at him, "I don't want anything to do with you because you're 20 and you're an ALCOHOLIC! because you've failed the same college courses three times! because you have no ambition! because you cuss like a sailor to your mom and you don't respect her! because you make fun of who i am and the people i hang out with! because you let your brother think it's okay to poke fun at me! because you tease anybody who's not as good as yourself and you do things to get reactions and when you don't get the reaction you want, you throw a fit like a baby!" I SO wish I could muster all the courage to say this but I know how I am about hurting people's feelings.

in english yesterday, we wrote our topic sentences on the board and everybody critiqued them. all my teacher changed about mine was one of the words i used, and i thought it was going to be torn apart because it was short and pithy. i learned a new word- "circuitous." even jeff liked it, and he's a tough cookie. Of course i thought he hated it- when i first showed him, he was silent. i guess this is what his silence meant.

We're developing our first rolls of film this week in phojo. i'm finally learning the life of my obsession. i mean, i've had this complex about forgetting to bring my cmera for an eternity and to finally learn how film works makes me feel like a roll of film myself. i guess you could call me a "Kodak Sister" or something. "Siamese Negative." "Twin Focus." Heh.

I was thinking about this friend of mine (who shall remain unnamed) and there is just something about him that makes me not want to have anything to do with him. It's like I see some invisible motive or something behind his eyes. Of course I don't know what that would be... but it scares me.

Mr. Stratton whaled on us in rehearsal yesterday for farting around. That was the first time I've seen him that angry. "DON'T TELL ME TO SETTLE DOWN!" heh. rehearsal today was fine. "You want me to give you a wipin??"

Chris G. invited me to his pajama party this weekend. I'm gonna go with Jamie cause we've been wanting to do something together. I don't like the idea of alcohol being involved, but I figure I gotta let loose sometime. I'll just make sure I make my own food and pour my own drinks because I don't want some shit-faced jock spiking my coke.

Tomorrow night, I'm going to see the play at the community college cause some of my friends are in it, and I wanna meet Daniel's little brother who goes to the elementary down the road. Daniel says he's a kickass actor and stuff, for a ten year old. We'll see.

car called and we talked for a while. her bro had an appendectomy and he relationship with her bf is great. i'm glad to hear that.

toward the end of the day, i do believe i got a little bitchy and i don't know why. i really didn't feel like being bothered by people who didn't know what the hell they were doing. well. i could blame it on the fact that my teacher sent me all the way to the library for a survey when i was only supposed to go down the hall. or because donnie talks so slow and he talks while other people are reading their lines. or because i had some good sarcastic remarks on the tip of my tongue and i needed to unleash them. whatever it was, the rain sure helped me. cope, i mean.

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