Full Exposure

By: Judi, KRH, and Lady Angel

Vin glared at his friend as he stalked through the gallery. "Ezra, I still can't believe I took that sucker bet."

Ezra, moving through at a more leisurely pace, replied, "But the fact remains that you did indeed place the wager thus earning me the dubious pleasure of your company at my favorite art gallery. Now if you'll just stop galloping through the exhibits, I'll endeavor to impart some knowledge that will help you to a greater appreciation of these fine works of art. Besides, I thought you would particularly enjoy these photographic displays."

"Well, I do have to admit that these pictures are better than those funny looking ones with the square broken up people."

"Ah, yes. Modern art is an acquired taste, but all that I am asking is that you try to expand your cultural horizons. Just take a moment and savor the detail in these photographs and glean the deeper meaning."

"Ezra, all I've seen so far is a bunch of run-down buildings and old warehouses-and in black and white no less. Don't these people ever use color film?"

Ezra struggled hard to keep from clenching his teeth together while he answered Vin. He was going to instill some culture in his friend... even if he died doing it! And the way it was going, he just might. "Black and white is the preferred medium for expressing post-modern angst and anomie in today's mechanized and dehumaninzing society which you will. . ."

"Hey, this room looks more promising-at least it has pictures of. . . ." Vin came to an abrupt halt and Ezra narrowly avoided plowing into him.

"Mr. Tanner, will you at least give me the courtesy of letting me know. . .oh, dear Lord!" Ezra gasped, as he came face to face with the reason for Vin's sudden stop.

There in front of them, covering half the gallery wall in stark, but revealing, black and white photographs was the one man who could strike fear into the hearts of the coolheaded sharpshooter and the quick thinking, glib, master of deception-their boss, Chris Larabee!

Chris in silhouette, standing in a doorway; Chris reclining on a bed; Chris leaning on a windowsill; everywhere they looked---Chris, Chris, Chris.

"That's. . that's. . . ," stuttered the sharpshooter.

"Yes, it is," averred the undercover agent.

"But where. . . ."

"I have no idea."

"I mean, how or when or. . .or. . . ."

"I have no idea, but, dear Lord! Look at him!"

Vin had always known that becoming a man of culture was not for him; he knew it would lead to no good and he had just been proven right. He stared in shock at the pictures of the man he called boss and best friend. At least Chris had something on, jeans or at least boxers, in the photos and fortunately he had been filmed from the back or at least from the side, with his face creatively hidden behind an upraised arm or thrown into shadow.

Ezra was caught up in his own perusal of the photographs and was more than a little worried that he and Vin had so easily identified their leader without even seeing his face.

"Ezra, we have to do something. I'm going to get those pictures." Vin took a few steps closer to the exhibit wall.

"Pardon me, but I know exactly how you feel. The model is positively breathtaking. I just can't get enough of feasting on this glorious sight!"

Vin turned to glare at the stranger standing next to him and gazing rapturously at Chris. "Excuse me, mister, but I wasn't talking to you and I don't think I like your attitude. Don't you have something better to do than standing around and gawking at. . ."

"Now, Vin, I'm sure this gentleman is just expressing his appreciation of the artistic merits of these photographs. No insult meant, sir." Ezra was none too comfortable with the gentleman in question staring at the photographs with such an acquisitive gleam in his eye, but he knew he and Vin could definitely not afford to create a scene. And, looking around he could see that the three of them were not the only ones drawn to the exhibit. There was quite a crowd in the room now, all avidly perusing the display.

Unfortunately the man chose this moment to proudly inform the two men that he was the owner of two of the photos and was thinking of about purchasing another for his bedroom.

"Why you little. . ."

"Now, Vin, I think it's time we were moving along. Our lunch hour will soon be over and we don't want to get a *certain* someone mad at us, now do we?"

"But, Ezra, that little weasel was buying Chris! He's gonna hang him in the bedroom, for God's sake! We have to do something!"

Ezra resorted to dragging his friend toward the doorway, making sure to keep his hand firmly on Vin's arm while the sharpshooter struggled to turn around and glare at the offensive art collector who was still appreciating the artwork.

"You have to be reasonable about this, Vin. Art galleries are in business to make money and, like it or not, Chris' image is art. The photographer responsible is quite well known; she has a very good reputation. This is art and art sells."

"But what are we going to do? We can't just walk away! What are we going to tell Chris?"

"I, for one, think we need help with this decision. As such, I am dialing for backup at this very moment." Pulling out his cell phone, Ezra proceeded to do just that. Now all he and Vin had to do was keep a low profile and wait for help to arrive. There was no way he was keeping this to himself. If blame was to be laid (and he had no doubt that somehow Chris would find them at fault) he wanted it to be spread out among as many of the other agents as possible. All they had to do was wait for Nathan and Josiah to get to the gallery and together the four of them could decide what to do. Or at least the other two could help him prevent Vin from doing bodily harm to the hapless art collector.

They would just stand quietly in the hallway and. . .

"Ezra! Vin! What a surprise! I see I'm not the only taking advantage of the lunch hour to enjoy the finer things in life."

If there was anyone at the top of the list of people they would not want to run into at the moment, it would have been Mary Travis.

"Mrs. Travis! What a pleasure to see you. Isn't it, Vin? We were just going into the next room to view some lovely landscapes I think you will enjoy."

"Oh, maybe later. Right now I want to see if I can find. . . . Oh, my! Those shots of Chris are incredible!"

"Now Mrs. Travis, how could that be Chris? What an absurdity. Why, Mr. Tanner and I were just laughing about that, weren't we, Vin?"

"Yeah, right, Ez. We've just been rolling on the floor. Never had so much fun in my life," grunted his companion, who was beginning to get a look of panic on his face at the number of people now in the small room. Where did they all come from? It had to be that slimy, little creep. He must be calling all his friends and telling them to rush right down and buy the pictures. At some level, Vin knew he wasn't making sense, but there was just something unsettling about standing there and watching all those fools staring at a man who was the most private person Vin had ever known-one to rival even himself. Chris wouldn't like this.

Hell!

If Chris were here, he would just pull his gun and have the room cleared in two seconds flat! And if Vin were any kind of friend he would do it for Chris. Action almost followed thought but then Vin remembered Mrs. Travis. Chris would not like to have Mrs. Travis scared. Although at the moment she was looking anything but as she gazed at the photographs with a slightly dazed expression on her face. . .dazed and . . .sort of. . .hungry-looking.

"So there you two are! What's so important that we had to rush right over? Good thing this gallery is just down the street from the office. Chris is none too happy about these late lunches. We told him we were coming to bring you back and he just gave us that look. . .you know the one." Nathan's slightly disgruntled voice was a welcomed distraction.

And Josiah was with him, too. Josiah always knew what to do. He would come up with a plan.

"Gentlemen, your presence is most welcomed and not a moment too soon. We have a problem." Ezra said, politely sliding through the crowd, following in the wake of his much ruder friend who was elbowing his way to the front.

Vin turned with a sweep of his hand, "Let's cut to the chase, Ezra. Here you go, Josiah. Take a look and tell me how we're going to handle this."

"That's Chris."
"What are those pictures of Chris doing up there?"

After making these profound statements, the latest two agents to arrive stood there and gawked.

Now Ezra was really beginning to worry. 'How did everybody recognize Chris? You couldn't see his face. And it wasn't as if we sat around all day with nothing better to do than stare at our team leader's backside.' His thoughts were cut short by the intrusion of a voice next to them.

"Gentlemen, if you think these photographs are good, you're going to love the ones in the next room."

The four men turned to look at the middle-aged woman who had spoken. She just looked at them with a big grin on her face.

Vin lead the way and the slightly stunned agents found themselves looking at another wall of photos and seeing more of their boss than they were prepared for. 'At least in the other photos he was wearing *some* clothes', Vin thought to himself swallowing hard.

And the twenty-foot centerpiece of the exhibit was the icing on an already horribly baked cake.

"Yep, that's Chris all right."

"How the hell do you know that, Nathan? We still can't see his face." Vin was grasping at straws and he knew it.

"Shoot, Vin, I've cut more clothes off that man and applied more pressure bandages than an ER doc. There's no doubt about it. . .that is Chris."

"All of Chris," Josiah added unnecessarily.

"He's going to kill all of us. . .somehow. . .someway. We're gonna get blamed for this and THEY'LL NEVER FIND OUR BODIES!" Vin was nearly hysterical by this point.

"Now, Vin, we just have to keep our heads. This situation is potentially embarrassing but what we have to remember is that this is art. . not art that I would personally put on my walls, but art nevertheless. We just have to look at it with the proper perspective and appreciate the solid form and the smooth, sleek lines and . . . . Oh, who the hell am I kidding! He's going to kill us! This is all Chris's doing but he's going to make us die a slow and painful death!"

None of the other agents had anything constructive to add at the moment so they just stood there in contemplation.

Contemplation that was broken by a loud voice.

"There you are! I hate to tell you but Chris is mighty pissed! He's been muttering to himself and you all know that's never a good sign. He is for sure not going to be a happy camper when he walks out of his office and sees only empty desks. JD and I had to sneak out and. . .damn, that's Chris! JD, cover your eyes! You're too young to be seeing these kinds of pictures!"

"They're art, you lout. I keep trying to tell all of you culturally challenged buffoons. These pictures are art. . .awww. . .to hell with it!" Ezra's voice rose louder and louder in frustration.

JD wiggled away from Buck who was trying to put his hands over JD's eyes. "Hey, that's Chris!" said a surprised JD.

"Now, son, I told you not to be looking. . ."

"Aww, Buck, I've seen more in those movies you DON'T keep in that bottom desk drawer."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"We could always say the studio is violating some liquor law and close it down," JD offered hopefully, darting his eyes between each of his co-workers to evaluate their acceptance of his idea.

"That'd buy us a day or two at least," Buck spouted out, between showing his badge and trying to inconspicuously herd the patrons from the rooms containing the pictures of Chris.

"I say we just confiscate the collection," Vin announced, crossing his arms across his chest defiantly. He was sure Chris wouldn't want anyone looking at these pictures and he was going to make sure his friend's wishes were followed.

"On what grounds do you propose we attempt such an action?" Ezra countered, marveling at the sharpshooter's reaction to the entire fiasco. Seeing the glimmer of uncertainty cross Vin's face, he dryly remarked, "The last I was aware, causing certain individuals heart palpitations, while not advisable in some cases, is hardly illegal behavior."

"What's not illegal?" Mary asked, coming up to the men blocking the entranceway. "The pictures? I certainly hope not. I just bought three of them. Now if you gentlemen would be so kind as to let me through...," she trailed off, struggling to contain the laughter in her throat at the men's reaction to her statements.

"You didn't," JD gasped, the first to find his voice.

Grinning mischievously, Mary held up the yellow receipt as proof. Catching a glimpse of her watch, she spun it to confirm the time. "Oh, I've got to go. Now you boys do me a favor and make sure nothing happens to those. Okay?" she threw over her shoulder as she made for the exit.

Looking at each other dumbfaced, somehow the situation just seemed like it had gotten worse. Sliding down the door jam, Vin Tanner hung his head. "Chris is gonna kill us."