Disintegration

An inner trembling
Sucks the breath out and dizzies the mind.
These missed beats
Stretch longer hour by hour
Fear gathers in bunches
Tight as apples.

The mind fragments

Days, and time falls

Dreams of Sleeping

Beyond comprehension
An existence without life
Unconncted
Not understanding
The sights and sounds
That seep into the body
Unbidden.
Ravaged as a newborn but without comfort
without escape

The outside intrudes
Violating
The skin cringes
Nerves on end
Magnified
Touch and sound
Shreds me
This terrifying wakefulness
This Unsilence
The sharp sweat smell
Of unclean skin
The cloying, dead air
And stabbing, prickling sounds
The meaningless gabble and flicker
Of a wavering cube
This unsatisfaction
The painless pain of biting
Skin and lip
The desperate clawing for thought
Only empty echoes of words past
Revolving numbly
only empty echoes of words past
revolving numbly

A killing rage
Cramps me
Tautly vibrating
A mind
Stretched as a drumskin
Fighting
The urge to destruction
Too alive
An inner screaming
Dizzyingly endless

Keeping worms untangled
With the power of a mind
Every second a concentration
Falter, and the worms knot
Twisting tighter
Into a stranglehold