X began life in an idyllic fashion. (It was later thought that this only sufficed to emphasise the pain of the loss of it all.)
The parents were loving and attentive, and nurtured the gifts of the child X. The father went to work and the mother stayed
at home, and the family ate together at the table every evening. There were presents and walks and holidays. The child learned
about wild flowers, music, boats and charm.
In school the child was popular, intelligent and articulate, and these traits earned friends and a fistful of glowing reports.
But the child was born out of selfishness and, at home, the parents were lying.
X celebrated the 10th year of life after watching the father die. He died because the doctor didn't consider it to be an emergency. The children were bundled into a car and delivered to the beginning of a nightmare from which X is still unable to awake.
The mother took only a little time to disintigrate into madness.
X left the home to study, and to escape.
It was not enough. The world melted into confusion. Like a cancer, confusion and paranoia embedded themselves and took hold.
X drank to escape. It was not enough. X took drugs to escape. It was not enough.
Then X cut veins open and swallowed painkillers...
What happens now...
X is recieving regular psychological care and occasional psychiatric attention.
The desire to not exist still remains, but despite lapses, X continues a fairly normal life with the support of professionals.
©E Parker 2000