Things Mother's Teach Us
Mother's teach us TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished
cleaning!"
Mother's teach us RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
Mother's teach us about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
Mother's teach us LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
Mother's teach us FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
Mother's teach us IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
Mother's teach us about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
Mother's teach us about CONTORTIONISM -
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
Mother's teach us about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
Mother's teach us about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
Mother's teach us how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you
listen then?"
Mother's teach us about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
Exaggerate!!!"
Mother's teach us THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
Mother's teach us about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"
Mother's teach us about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
Thank you mother's, all over the world...
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