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LOW-DOLLAR IRON (for those that
are relatively deprived of a traditional classic car)
THE ULTIMATE
REBELLION
Everyone
desires a classic vehicle in the garage, but not everyone can afford it.
Since the days of Ralph Cramden, and Karen Hennigan's (a noted criminologist)
research on TV viewing and nonviolent crime like burglaries, the same can
be held true for what one uses for everyday transportation. This is like
a woman having her hair dyed blonde, wearing push-up pads or a bra top,
to attract men, and this holds true for those that want to avoid the peer
pressure (want to race your P.O.S. Hyundai Tiburon with my Chevelle SS?)
that surrounds the hype of owning traditional classic automobiles of yesteryear.
Which would you prefer?
An attractive babe like this#?
...and a 1950 Merc? 
Or an average babe like this*? 
...and a Disco-Era
classic? 
I have seen Honda Del Sols with Japanese characters and "Mugen
Power" and/or "Osaka Performance"
banners on windshields, and there is a growing hype of FWD drag racing.
This might be Armageddon, since FWDs are considered modern muscle (a.k.a.
the Rice-Rocket phenomenon). (Remember,
back in the muscle car era, American manufacturers had a musclecar in its
model lineup, and today, this is the direct opposite.) And to add some
colloquialisms, a lot of modern vehicles are powered with Pee-Wee engines,
like 4-bangers and DOHC V6s. This is what can be found on Woodward
Avenue (in Detroit) today, in which there are import drag races and/or
front wheel burnouts, or cruise events with the modern-day Rice-Rockets
and/or plastic trash. Want to see the REAL shocker? Here's
the pic:
There have been recent articles in which low-dollar street machines
are possible to build, and often, the cars that are considered candidates
have changed. Back in the sixties, a tri-year Chevrolet was an affordable
project car, and locating a low-dollar example is a thing of the past.
One problem is that "golden oldies" and popular musclecars (e.g. SS, Boss
302, Hemi Cuda) are now going up in value, since a lot of these vehicles
are either restored and/or harder to locate. Right now, the glass
ceiling is a reality for typical pre-1973 classics, and these vehicles
include popular musclecars, low mileage and/or garaged oldies, tri-year
Chevrolets and Thunderbirds (1955-57), '20s -- '50s classics, and GM F-cars
of 1967-69 vintage. Personally, I have been pressured by a friend
to own a REAL classic, but don't have a billfold of Ben Franklins to buy
such a car.
The times have changed, and disco-era cars (1973-80), along with 80s-era
vehicles, are being the most common means of building a low-dollar street
machine, but there are concerns about environmental issues, like retaining
the OEM emission devices. Keep in mind that disco-era vehicles (as
well as several 1980s vehicles) aren't worth much today, and will never
go up in value (unless it's a garaged Cadillac or Lincoln), no matter how
much money you put into a project (e.g. ground effects and/or welding on
fat-fendered body panels). They're worth what you've paid for.
From a perspective, these vehicles are worth less than $500, and will never
sell for more than $3500 - $6000. Most of the disco-era POSes are
over 20 years old, but before embarking on a project,
check out your local and state emission laws first on engine modifications
and/or swaps. Under EPA and California regulations, what's under
the hood should be the same year or newer than the vehicle (e.g. 1973 and
newer). You wouldn't want to have a vehicle deemed a "gross polluter"
(which is illegal to operate in California*) and either slapped with higher
registration fees and/or non-driveable. Currently, there are 31 states
that now have emission testing, which has been ex post facto due to the
CAAA 1990 amendments. According to the EPA, there are over 177 areas
of the U.S. that are described as "unclean" due to ground-level ozone pollution.
Here's a link to various states in the Union that have state-mandated emission
testing:
Emission
Testing
Here's an example of a gross polluter tale:
2/23/1999 (post courtesy of Chevelle Tech and 1BAD67)
In regards to taking possesions, during the smog delema if you had a vehicle
sitting in your drivway un registered
that vehicle could be impounded. No homeowners association, were talkin
Mr. Law. I dont know if the law is in
effect or not. Also the way that the goverment can rid of that 70SS or
are pride and joy is reduce emission
tolerances (as California has done) to were vehicles new in the 60s-70s
cant pass todays standards, Make you
smog that old car every year to insure it is in compliance.
Example in late 96 a friend had a 84 ford pick-up totally stock. FAILED
new standards emisions FAILED 3 times
$1,300.00 later he is slapped with a gross polluter registration with added
registering fees. Who wants a vehicle
that is going to put you through that? If big brother tries this on are
pried and joy were one step closer to civil
war.
Here's a link that might be of interest, which targets owners of older
vehicles:
Vehicle
Confiscation Law
*Gross polluters include anything that has an emission output (HC/CO)
of over 400 ppm (California law is 250 ppm).
The vehicles that are listed are considered post-muscle or non-muscle,
since these vehicles were marketed towards luxury and appearance.
One side effect is that these cars are becoming more popular, since their
muscle-era cousins are harder to locate and/or going up in value (in which
one must have a fat pocket to purchase a REAL classic). Originally,
it was deemed uncool to drive anything that is post-muscle, because enthusiasts
realized that Detroit has forgotten how to build automobiles back then.
These classics were marketed when the EPA, DOT, and insurance conglomerates
sent the original musclecar to it's apparent doom and extinction.
The grim reality is that there are none or few parts manufacturers for
disco-era classics, in which there is no demand or availability.
It's a shame to see anything post-1972 being treated like an AMC product.
"Obscure is cool, but expensive.
Stick with a project that reproduction companies make
parts for."
The above statement was referenced in an issue of Car Craft, and to
reiterate this, don't try anything to make a Civic or Pinto cool, since
these cars are not worth building. Another thing is that obscure
applies to anything that isn't well known, like vehicles manufactured by
a corporation outside the "BiG 3", or oddball vehicles (e.g. subcompacts)
that were produced by the "BiG 3", but not considered as viable projects.
More is detailed below in the section "Cars to Avoid."
Here's a list of candidates that are broken down by the various automakers,
which, of course, will not serve as candidates in a "oldies" cruise event,
or appear in an episode of "My Classic
Car", due to the fact that these vehicles do not get "NO
RESPECT" a la Rodney Dangerfield:
7/11/99 update: the original page has over 31K, and to add a counter,
I had to break the BiG 3 categories to separate pages. The links
should function, and to return to this page, click the underlined word
"Back".
Browse a section:



Alternative
Candidates
Projects
to Avoid
My Guestbook
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Copyright 1997, 1998, 1999
Po'
- n - Broke Productions (an LSC Publications Company) (a Cheap
Times franchise). All Rights Reserved.
#Image courtesy of Playboy Enterprises, 1995.
*Image from Can't Hardly Wait courtesy of SPE Entertainment,
1998.
Image of 1950 Merc and 1975 Nova courtesy of Don Seributra
(a.k.a. H5O/The
Emissary), 1992, 1999.