Austin Powers: Insanity's the Limit
Chapter Two
Inside Holmes' hovercoach....
Eva Norton, a short dark haired beauty, watched her companion as he drove. She didn't normally like silences of any sort, but this one wasn't so bad. Certainly not when she could gaze her fill at the legendary detective. Her grandmother's diaries hadn't mentioned he would be handsome. Of course, they hadn't mentioned much about him except that he had almost ruined her marriage to Godfrey Norton.
If Eva hadn't read the accounts that had been published--one in particular--she would have thought it had to do with the man himself. She allowed herself a tiny smile, then sighed. She and he would never work out, and it was foolish to think otherwise. She could barely get two words out around him that weren't stammered.
"Miss Norton, is this the place?"
Startled from her thoughts she blinked and looked out the window at the collapsed warehouse. With a frown she shook her head. "Y...yes. But...well...it wasn't like this before...."
"No, it was recently demolished," Holmes agreed, "And that looks like Lestrade's cruiser. Let's go have a look shall we?" He landed the coach gracefully next to the New Scotland Yard cruiser.
As they both exited the vehicle, Eva had to stifle a bit of jealousy at the thought of the lovely inspector. Jealousy of not only the other's beauty, but her ease of conversing with Holmes, and their friendship. It wasn't fair really.
As they came to an open doorway amidst the debris, Holmes turned towards her and she nodded. Yes, this was where she and her brother had been brought. As they descended the stairs, she tried to forget the look on her brother's face as he was thrust through that thing. A time portal is what their captor had called it, but Eva was certain that was just a cover up. She just knew that he had been pushed through to his death off some sort of virtual cliff or something like that. Time travel was impossible.
Holmes held up a portable light and gestured for her to lead the way. Shaking slightly, she walked slowly through the main chamber until her eyes caught the spiral at the back of the room. Two figures were in front of it, one kneeling over the other. She turned back towards Holmes, her mouth open in abject terror. Not for herself, but for the man lying there on the ground. She was possitive he was her dead brother.
Holmes, however had a perfectly calm demeaner and sauntered over to where the figures were at. Eva stood for a moment, gaping, then ran to catch up with him.
"What's happened here Lestrade?" Holmes asked the woman kneeling over the man. Up close, Eva could see that it was not her brother.
"I don't know Holmes," Lestrade admitted, "But he's been shot with some sort of projectile weapon. And," the inspector gave a coy smile, "he's obviously from the twentieth century. Somewhere around the late 1960's I'd say." She indicated the odd clothing the man wore, and the thick glasses lying on the ground near his head.
Eva stifled yet another bit of envy. The woman was even able to tease him! Holmes for his part simply smiled and pointed at a digital readout above the spiral that read: 2002.
"We really shouldn't jump to conclusions without all the facts you know Lestrade. Is he?"
"No, he's alive. And, I tried to contact Watson, but all I got was white noise. You know, like someone was jamming the signal or something. Same thing when I tried to contact you in the hovercoach. I was just about to try your portable when you showed up." She grinned at Eva and winked.
Becoming more angry by the minute--spurred by jealousy--that grin and wink served as the match to her fuse, and Eva exploded. "This is all very well and good, but my brother is very probably dead, and you're just sitting her chatting each other up instead of finding his killers, who have obviously vacated the premises!"
Holmes placed a calming hand on her arm. "You are understandably upset, but I doubt very much that your brother is dead. Especially seeing as the time portal is real. As of now, we can do no more than speculate, and we have not enough facts to come to a satisfactory conclusion. And the fact that neither the hovercoach nor the apar..."
He was interrupted by a very loud explosion that rocked the warehouse. Holmes reacted by racing up the stairs. Eva watched open-mouthed, and Lestrade looked as though she wanted to follow as well, but had to keep her hand on the lacy thing covering the bloody wound in that guy's shoulder. Seconds later, Holmes returned at a more sedate pace.
"Greyson isn't going to be happy with you Lestrade," he stated causually.
Lestrade groaned. "You just had to park near my cruiser didn't you? Oh well, at least I can honestly say it wasn't my fault this time."
New New London Headquarters of Evil....
Scott Evil looked around the new Headquarters with an approving nod. The Holocaid was a perfect place. No one would ever suspect that an evil organization bent on taking over the world would ever use a gaming room as their base of operations. And, Scott got to try his hands at some of the games. How cool was that?
"Sir?" Number Two walked up his fist clutching the collar of a young girl's shirt.
"Ow! Let go you big zedhead!" The girl exclaimed, and then she kicked out catching Number Two on the shin. He abruptly dropped her and began jumping around clutching his leg and cursing. The girl giggled a minute before turning to Scott with a huffy glare.
"So you're the new owner of the 'olocaid eh? Well, you're charging way too much for admission. You're gonna lose all your business you know." With that, the girl turned around and marched out, muttering dire threats under her breath. Scott was charmed.
"Number Two, get someone to follow her...and find everything you can about her. Also, lower the admissions rate." Without waiting for a reply, he returned to trying to come up with a plan to take over the world. So far, everything he had come up with had huge holes in it, and too many risk factors. And then, he caught sight of an advertisement for Galileo City. Yes, yes that just might work.
Actually, that's been done before.
"Huh? Who said that?" Scott looked around desparately for the source of the anonymous voice.
Me. I said that. And, Moriarty tried to take over Galileo City last year so that he could blow up the earth. It didn't work. Sherlock Holmes stopped him.
"Well I'm not Moriarty. I'm..." he paused for dramatic effect. "Scott Evil! Muahahahahahahaha...ahem. Besides, I'm only going to make it look like I'm taking over Galileo City. Then, when they concentrate all their forces on stopping me there, I'll actually be here, kidnapping the Prime Minister. Then, I'll hold him for ransom for a trillion dollars."
Actually, they use credits here...
"All right, just shut up!"
I was just..
"Hush!"
But I...
"I said quiet!"
Fine!
Scott frowned out at nothing, since he couldn't see whoever had been speaking. Then he gave another discontented sigh. He couldn't even be as childish as his father was. It just wasn't fair. And on top of all that, he was hearing things. Oh well, at least Austin Powers was dead. That was some consolation anyway.
Hollywood Sign Lair...
Nigel Powers, Basil Exposition and several Ministry of Defense muscle stood around waiting for Mini-me and Dr. Evil...er...Dougie Powers to finish whatever it was they were doing. It looked like they were playing a game of patty-cake, but that would just be a stupid, obvious ploy to get some cheap laughs on the part of the author. And the author is simply not like that. So, just ignore the above statement.
"Come on Dougie," Nigel encouraged, "Austin could be dead by now."
"Actually," Dougie answered, "In all likelyhood he very probably is dead. I mean...he lost a lot of blood. Ya. I was there. It was like... a friggin' fountain. Ya. A fountain. Okay it wasn't that bad, but you get the idea."
"Dougie!"
"Right, right, getting to work. I have some good news, and some bad news. Which do you want first?"
"The bad news," Nigel put in before anyone else could say anything.
"Right, okay. The bad news is, the time portal has been broken. Austin must have accidentally jammed the controls when he fell against the machine."
"And the good news," Basil prompted.
"Uh well, there's not really any good news. I've just always wanted to say that. Okay, okay! Mini-me and I will get right to work in trying to fix it!"
Go on to Three!!
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