This is a tribute to Jon Lindell, and John Sorrell.
I held both close to my heart, and now both are gone.
Different reasons why, but I will remember them always.
Jon Lindell was a very good friend. He was like a father to me. He was good friends with my mother, and when I moved out of her house, he always made sure I was alright. He really looked out for me. When I got my settlement from my accident, he helped me to put it in a safe place. When I got my license he found a car for me at a good deal. He helped me sooo much! Even when he had to lend me his truck, and I had to get up early and take him to work, he still helped me. He always called me one of his daughters. Whenever I would see him, his greeting would be "hey beautiful". I love him, and I will always remember him. I do not believe in any "god" but I do believe that he is in a better place now. I miss him, and I am going to miss him forever..... I try not to feel guilty for not spending the time I should have with him. I try not to feel guilty, cause by staying in St. George I could have helped the situation. I could have been there for him when he needed someone. I am so sorry for his girls. They have a bright future. I wish I could help them, I wish I could fight the battle Jon never won. I wish I could help them by giving them a home, giving them love, and taking them away from their mother. But now, all I can do is hope. I try not to feel guilty, cause I know jon would not want me to feel that way. But it is hard. Anyone who has lost a loved one will know only half of how much pain I feel. I never had a father. And then, with Jon's friendship I felt I had the closest thing to a father. If I ever had a problem, I could go to him. Even if it was "girly" stuff. He was always the one I could turn to. I could tell him anything. I could look up to him. He delt with so much shit, and he kept on living life. But I still look up to him, even in death. I will never give up hope. And I will keep on loving him.
John Sorrell is my x-boyfriend. We were dateing when I found out about Jon Lindell. It was hard for me to deal with, but I could then turn to John for support. I had a shoulder I could cry on. I had someone who loved me. He always made me feel good about myself. John Sorrell helped me realize some things about myself, and feel good about them. In a way I felt I still had Jon Lindell with me, because John Sorrell would greet me by "hello beautiful". And there was soooo much with him and his mother that would remind me of my family and those I love... Another thing he always told me.. To "relax"... If you know me you will know that I am too uptight and John just wanted me to enjoy life. He allways wanted me to smile. He cared about me. Then me and John became strictly friends. But I still cared about him, and felt we were meant to be friends. I was happy that I still had him. Even as friends. Then on May 2, 2001, John's mother called me. *sniff* She told me that he had died. That he got hit by a drunk driver. I didn't know what to say. She told me that she wanted to be the one that told me. She didn't want me to find out thru news, or by calling and looking for him. I miss him, and I will always love him. Not just for what he gave to me, but what we had together even as friends. I will always remember him.
I speak from my heart. I know I will add more at later dates. I don't really have any way to deal with this pain, so maybe in some way this will help. I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just needed to tell someone. *sniff* ;-(
I will never forget either of you. I love you Jon and I love you too John... Smile whenever you think about me. :^Þ
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