Erris Utd 6-1 Crossmolina

A crazy day in Erris began with an 8 man team featuring a player in sneakers and ended with the home side being crowned Premier League champions for the season. Amidst a surreal setting Crossmolina adhered to Murphy's law as everything went pear-shaped and Erris were only too delighted to take advantage of their undermanned opponents to cruise to a 6-1 victory. But the scoreline was as irrelevant as it was inevitable. The match had so much more to offer which would render the scoreline as only an afterthought. Crossmolina's laughable organisation, comical footwear and spirited comeback are all far more interesting than a rout which satisfied the gathered hordes of Erris fans and overshadowed the real story. Due to the GAA county final Crossmolina arrived in Erris with only an 8 man team, one of which was manager Bert Carolan making a rare appearance. It was decided that the team would make like Holland and adopt the philosophy of "Total football" with every man rotating between positions in an effort to disguise their shortcomings. What followed was an heroic display of commitment, courage and downright bloodymindedness as Crossmolina fended off the barrage of Erris attacks and launched many forays of their own into the opposition's half. Defending with 7 men and a goalkeeper they took it in turns to break from defence on classy field-length dribbles which normally would earn a glower for selfish play but were greeted with much gratitude in this game. Eoin Syron, Steven Canavan and John Duggan all took turns to slalom through the bemused and undermotivated Erris midfield. Duggan's run was halted with a late challenge on the edge of the box and Bert Carolan tested the goalkeeper with a solid effort from the resulting free kick. It was a farcical or heroic spectacle depending on your allegiances. Steven Canavan resorted to amusing himself with a personal quest for executing the lowest recorded header in a soccer match (one was barely two feet off the ground)! His brother Kenny was slip-sliding around in a pair of runners after forgetting to bring his boots and the faulty footwear contributed to a late tackle which earned him a booking in the first half. It was that sort of a day for the visitors. Eventually, after a frustrating 35 mins, Erris scored. Then the cavalry arrived for Crossmolina in the person of John Heffernan and with their ranks boosted with a fresh body they proceeded to concede a second goal! The second half was woefully one-sided with 11 men, a slope and a breeze all sapping the energy from the tiring visitors. To add to the adversity Erris began to introduce their substitutes early on thus giving them a totally unfair advantage; 11 men AND substitutes!!! Johnny O'Hora played like a man possessed in the Crossmolina goal, scrambling from post to post, knocking men over with reckless abandon and generally thwarting the champions singlehandedly. Crossmolina's effort and spirit were rewarded on the hour mark when Eoin Syron scored the goal of this season, and maybe any season. He collected the ball deep inside his own half and set off on a determined run, flanked on every side by Erris men.He shimmied, bustled, battled and skipped past what seemed like every Erris man on the field before blasting a shot past the goalie from 15 yards out. It was a stupendous goal which was captured on video by two amateur camera men who were on hand to record history for the home side. Duggan taunted the sizeable home crowd with an impromptu rendition of "You're not singing any more" and the visitors were in a temporary state of euphoria. Paul Flaherty got so caught up in the moment that he urged his side to push for the equaliser! Minutes later it was 3-1 and in the blur that followed 3 more goals rattled past the magnificent O'Hora as Crossmolina tired and barely escaped their own half again. For some reason the fifth goal was greeted with hugely enthusiastic roars, which considering the circumstances was quite bizarre. Mercifully the game ended with only a 5 goal deficit, a feat previously achieved once this season with a full team against a lesser opponent, so Crossmolina emerged from the debacle with some respect. Indeed, the Mayo FA representative mentioned Johnny O'Hora in his speech as he presented Erris captain Eric Reilly with the trophy. In the background the vanquished Crossmolina side lay on the ground in an exhausted heap, gasping for air but with a satisfied smile on their faces.

Erris Utd - S O'Boyle, J Mangan, S Nallen, M Dixon, P Reilly, N Shevlin, M Togher, T Gruddy, E Reilly(2), G O'Malley(2), H Reilly(2)

Crossmolina - J O'Hora, K Canavan, S Canavan, P Flaherty, J Duggan, E Syron, B Carolan, J Canavan, J Heffernan

Premier League results

Ballina 4-4 Glenisland

Conn Rangers 2-4 Bangor

Achill 2-2 Claremorris

Ballyvary 2-3 Lacken