Since my plans involved a wife
all the things I want in life
now impossible.

What must I do to rid myself of this curse?
As bad as it is, I know that it can get worse.
I do not want what everybody shows me.
They do not know what it is like to be me.

How to tell her your love is not the pure kind?
“The reason why? That’s what I’m trying to find.”
Why I do this I cannot figure out for
All she would give to be with me, and much more.

I do not know if I can love true and fair--
for who she is, and not because she is there.
I need to love; I need someone to be mine.
Don’t matter who; I think this is the worst sign.

I will not hurt another as I hurt her.
I’ll stay away from every woman on Earth.
It isn’t fun to see the pain you can make
Love’s mostly pure; in my case it might be fake.

Heartless existence is the core of my days.
Insomnia and loneliness my mainstays.
Why do I try to live a life worth living?
if there’s a God I hope that He’s forgiving.