"I'ma Kirk (A Verbose Tirade)"
Claim I’m histrionic
I bet I could create an economic
Deduction of ebonics
Used in the distributed work field
And once I do, you’re gonna have to kneel
Down and grovel at my heals
An effective and creative
Government - it’s productive
Considerately discreet, not seductive
Prepare to be mortified
Your job is denied
The right to be petrified
Act as if bad things happen
To you, and once they do - I’ll be laughin’
Greeting you with "What’s happenin’, cap’n’?"
This aint supposed to be a verbose tirade
Think I’m pompous, bombastically decayed
If you don’t understand this, it’s okay
Cause what I’m saying is I’m cursed
No one really cares - I’m bout to burst
Take me to the congregation, the nearest church
Throwin’ dirt, getting my feelings hurt
It’s like a magical trick that doesn’t work
Things not happening the way I want - I blurt
Out cuss words, feelin’ like Lurch
Too tall to fit in - Soon I’ma kirk
This aint one of those
Rap songs about guns, drugs, and hos
This one actually means somethin’
One to get your head thumpin’ and pumpin’
Instead of your wacky hormones
Leavin’ girls with the Love Jones
But you don’t care - you get her pregnant
Then tellin’ her to abort the infant
You crazy? You know she wants to keep it
Ya shoulda thought of that before climbin’ in the deep end
Tellin’ her she needs an operation
To augment her boobs - to make her look
Better than you thought she was when you were drunk
And now she’s got the implants - the nook
And the crannie filled the trunk
Of what you wanted - or so you thunk it
Before your brain got cropped at the top
Thinkin’ you’re young enough to steal a jock’s
Girlfriend - have sex with her - knockin’
Her age up to par before takin’ her club hoppin’
I don’t know what I’m sayin’? Riiiiiight
Come back to me sayin’ Jiminy Cripes
"My words," I’ll say, "Ya shoulda listened"
Then you’re in for the biggest a**-whoopin’
Caught on MTV, R.Kelly - you be sick
Know who you’re freakin’ sleepin’ with
Before you get caught again with a 14-year old
Ya married Aaliyah at 14, or so I’m told
Tell ya somethin’? You shoulda done married
The other girls so you’re not stuck in jail with hairy
Guys named Bob, Jim, and Larry
"Watchin’ your back" like a dairy
Product around fat women on treadmills
I once ate a donut in front of the gym until
They came runnin’ at me with their cellulite
Seems I’m always out on the first try
